All Comments on 'Rusty's Tale'

Woof, Rusty is much more intelligent than most humans depicted in LW.

Nothing smarter then an a watchful dog.

Definitely an interesting tale

How do we explain the unfairness of the Human species against and among loyal friends?

Well, if a dog mates with his own bitch, all is well.

However, if a dog mates with another's bitch, he should be neutered.

Go figure, life is a lady dog!

Truly a dog's life. Easy 5/5

A sad story. The dog wasn't the only one that lost his balls at the end.

Hahahaha!!!! This is so freaking brilliant! Well done; truly well done. A delightful and most refreshing form of telling a LV story! 5/5

Very well done, very clever

Oh baloney.

One cuck story disguised as a pet perspective.

You don't pull that trick with me, author.

It is still a cuck story.

I hate cuck/whore/sharing/swinging/no consequences story.

we're at the place now that even the dog excepts that his owner is a cuckold and is happy about it....WHAT A WORLD!

Certainly different, nice try for trying something new.

Love the animal perspective, hate the RAAC ending.

Interesting.

Not the first of this type, but it was decent.

I know that the intention is to be minimalist, but a little more information might have gone a long way.

~Enkidu

This was different but i liked it, you do need an editor. i would be happy to have a look at anything new if that would help you.

Great idea, fun story. 5 stars.

Good story! I've always liked dogs, can't always say that about some people. Hope to see more from you. 5 stars

somewhere east of Omaha

I liked this a lot, great job! Not a totally new idea but very well done.

Loved it, insight from a pet's perspective.

Good story. Different.

He should have kept just the dog and not the cheating wife.

Enjoyed it! As a dog lover, I think you got the dog POV pretty well. I would like to have had Jane kicked to the curb for cheating, but that only happens in a small minority of LW tales these days. I understand reconciliation is warranted in some circumstances, but this sounded like she just wanted a cheap thrill.

I liked your story but...

For Rusty's part in starting a family, he got his balls cut off. Lucy is still could do her rutting though.

Maybe Lucy should go see the guy with the sharp stick and come home with a cone on her head. If john wanted to get his balls back, maybe Jane should have been made to wear a cone. As far as Paul goes, he'll get his own cone sooner or later.

Interesting effort.

Kind of meh. Rusty obviously didn't know how John found out, so couldn't tell us.

\

"swatted me on the nose with a paper cylinder." - Rusty doesn't know what a newspaper is, but does know what a cylinder is?

After all, this story and the author shows us that the idiots are not going extinct. Neither in fantasy nor in reality.

This sentence even applies in the animal world!

Would've been better if the dog mauled one or both of the cheaters, in the groin of course.

Clever & Creative

Gave a 3. I did like the perspective, but not the RAAC.

4 out of 5.

If a dog can narrate an affair he can narrate a reasonable ending. Having a baby from a separate room (the last we heard where she was sleeping) seems impossible, if the child or pup, is supposed to have been conceived at home.

It's a gentleman's 4...;-)

Damn good originality

Clever

Definitely barking up the right tree.

very amusing and well written

Enjoyable, well written tale

Excellent! Innovative, well written, but confusing at times.

"Bitch" was an excellent tool, but it did get confusing.

Six stars for the truly different approach.

While the idea was certainly original the fact that you made a cuck tale with a new take derailed any good will the idea itself created.

You should specify what type of editor you're looking for: beta-reader, proof-reader, copy editor, line editor, or developmental editor. You can consider this comment to probably be somewhere between a beta-read and a developmental edit. I see this is your fifth submission here.

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Five stars. This is not a five-star story, but I found this to be uncharacteristically imaginative and original for Literotica!

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Also, I think that it's disgusting that you're taking so much idealistic heat in the comments. There seems to be a vitriolic group of people on Literotica these days who dedicate a lot of their spare time toward actually looking for ways to be offended by the stories posted here. It's sickening that they only read stories for the purpose of posting one-star ratings.

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The main hook is very original, but I felt that the dog's point of view was anthropomorphized too much. This happened because you had things you wanted to say in your story but couldn't contextualize them in the way a dog would have. Yes, dogs are very perceptive, but they view relationships from the point of view of a pack, and pack hierarchy. Rusty obviously views John as the alpha of his pack. Things are a little more loose with dogs than with wolves, but female pack members generally have their own hierarchy within the pack, so Rusty would have viewed John and Jane as his pack's breeding pair. Jake would have been elevated in the hierarchy as a product of the breeding of the alphas. (Dogs are more fecund than wolves and jostle more for position within the hierarchy, but this seems to be largely the way it works.)

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The story had a midpoint plot development. You don't see that very often around here! The story also had a climactic confrontation and resolution.

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I like that you had Rusty ever vigilant about territorial markings. That's totally dog.

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Regarding Paul, the members of other packs are automatically viewed with distrust and suspicion, and Rusty would almost always be on his guard until that member was accepted into the pack by the alpha and his position established. And even then, Paul's position in the hierarchy would not be clear when Paul is not present so there is almost always some level of competition in that case.

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You buried the lede by not portraying the "inciting event" or "first plot point". I see what you were doing in that first interaction between Rusty and Lucy, trying to portray Paul as a player. Later when John left the house it was obviously -- well, obvious to me but by precious few others it seems -- because of something that was going on between Paul and Jane while Paul was there. You should have had Rusty's perspective in there both witnessing it and explaining what he noticed from his point of view. Remember that Paul is not part of the pack, so any attempt to usurp the pack's alpha position by initiating a mating with the alpha female would not have gone unchallenged by Rusty. In fact, you could have written it so that Rusty was the reason that John noticed anything at all; or had some other consequence which contributed to Rusty's character growth, like parking Rusty outside as punishment. It would have been nice to have seen Rusty involved a little more so that it was more obvious to the reader why John left the house.

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Noticing the cologne and perfume was good, but I think it was described poorly. Rusty would likely have described it as an overwhelming, repulsive stench rather than an artificial pheromone. You described Paul's scent after his coupling with Jane, but you should also have made reference to it before their mating. In fact, foreshadowing with a reference to John and Jane's mating would have been good. Olfactory is their thang, and would probably have been better than relating the act to the noises they make. I could go on about the noises and dominance and submission, but I think you get the idea.

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I also like that the sentence structure came off as simple, as a dog might express things. I thought the "pine tree event" thing was a little too cute. I see what you were trying to do, but it drew me out of the story. Having done it, though, I love that you put "pine tree event" in the story tags. It's a unique phrase that people are going to remember and that they can use it to find the story again through the tags.

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Rusty would have been itchy after the big snip.

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I think you broke your promise with this story. As I've alluded earlier, Rusty didn't experience any arc -- he didn't suffer enough and experienced no character growth. Rusty had no goals throughout the story and made no decisions. He wasn't part of his own story and was just along for the ride, recounting events as he saw them unfold around him. Rusty's "big lie" was that he believed that Jane was a suitable alpha female for his pack. Rusty's "need" was to be shown the truth.

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Even a dog can instigate action. There was something going on between John and Jane that Rusty would have perceived; the status quo had been upset: the inciting incident. Rusty could have taken a larger role with regards to Paul, like snapping at him when John wasn't there or, better yet, taking hold of Paul's trouser leg and pulling him away from Jane. Rusty could have been barking his ass off outside the bedroom window to establish his role in the story as the protector. Rusty could also have been challenging Paul on the street by barking and snapping at him before John belted him one. Or maybe have Rusty as the reason that John figured out who banged his unfaithful wife. Having said that, I liked that you had Rusty barking alongside his leader like a true pack animal.

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Jane is a terrible person. John is away for only a couple of days and she's not only already mating around, but with a man she met only once before. You should have conveyed her bad character through Rusty. Because Jane mated outside the pack maybe her status would have changed; this should have been reflected in the way Rusty viewed Jane from that time forward, and would have been very rewarding for the reader.

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One of my pet peeves about the Loving Wives category is that it seems to have become a dumping ground for every cheating wives story. Yours is such a story. I don't believe that it qualifies as a Loving Wives story because it doesn't actually contain a depiction of extramarital sex. You allude to it, but it wasn't erotic in any way. "My wife cheated on me" is neither erotic nor arousing. Nor do I believe that it could be erotic as told from the perspective of a dog. Probably the best category for this story would have been Non-Erotic. I seldom visit Non-Erotic so I likely wouldn't have seen it there, though. I always give only one star to non-erotic cheating wives stories posted here, so it's a testament to your creativity that I gave you five.

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I found the ending of the story to be satisfying, but I was left wondering whose litter Jane was going to bear. If Paul's then Rusty, for example, could have said that the new member of that pack had a smell reminiscent of Paul. If that were the case it would have been very satisfying to have Rusty growl at the little bastard.

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I really did enjoy this story immensely and I hope you find these comments helpful. Thank you for publishing it.

Well done. Well written, and for those who hate the 'cuckolding' I no longer consider being the spouse of a cheater makes you a cuckold. In my mind you are only a cuckold if you allow it.

fun read from a dog's perspective......

Had to give you 5* for the humor and originality - nicely done!

Was smiling the whole way. Thanks - very clever.

A more intelligent view funny goings on.

Soooo freaking good. Such imagination props

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i love the different pov. So refreshing.

An interesting idea, especially if you are into dogs and pets, I guess. Kind of curious, but that's all. If the dog saw Paul come over just the one time when John was not home then when and why did Jane become Paul's slut? And how did John find out? Those questions are why your story is kind of quaint or curious, but not very satisfying. I suspects the positive comments and ratings are coming from dogs.

Thanks for the effort.

Very interesting. I loved it.

That was unexpectedly fun and different. I think at my age I put the highest value on originality (as long as the form and content are still sound). Nice job. Thanks much.

What a fresh change seen thru the eyes of our best buddies . More please.

Re:*1!!!!

Yer a fuckin moron. This is the category for any and every instance of wives fucking around. Go drown yourself.

A different angle. Interesting.

"... and that's why the Lady is a Tramp!"

Too Bad that Rusty will not be able to father anymore pups!

5

You ask "Why did Rusty not know this or that of what happened between John and Jane with Paul? It's simple. They left Rusty out of what was going on ... go figure ! Nice POV story.

@PolyLvr. If anybody needs drowning, it's a cuck like you. The world wouldn't miss you.

LOL- It's different, but why all that fawning over a mediocre story? I guess the reader's are so tired of the usual cuckold tale, a newer type of cuckold tale is more refreshing? Comments, as always are hilarious.

Everyone likes a good dog story.

Great story and well written! You do need an editor though.

ANNNND that's life. In a dogs view. And having many dogs in my life, I say thanks. For the dogs view. Always wondered why my dog would give me the look..

definitely a different take. Well done.

Cute story. Not that many typos. Also John & Paul? Where is George & Ringo?

The plural of dog is “dogs”. The possessive of dog is “dog’s”, as in “fill the dog’s bowl”. The possessive of dogs (plural) is “dogs’ “, as in “We have a pair of dogs, and the dogs’ kennel is in the back yard”. Basic grade school English usage.

Interesting perspective. First time John left was due to a death in the family. Second time was a business trip when his wife was screwing Paul. Somehow John found out, they had a fight, he knocked out Paul, and John and Jane reconciled. Oh vey.

I am a sucker for dog stories. This one is a riot.

Great idea and very well executed

Great story, I like that it comes from a dogs point of view.

This belongs on some humane society website...