tagBDSMRuth's Rules

Ruth's Rules

byCaringAndDemanding©

The philosophy of rules

My expectations are not easy to fulfil. I seek to achieve the best I can in all I do. These rules will help My servant to become the best I can make of her. If she does not treat these rules as important and meaningful, then I will not accept her as Mine.

I expect My servant to follow these rules to the best of her ability, they exist so that she may feel comforted and loved under My guidance. Always she must remember that the goal of these rules is to show her how she can please Me. She should ingrain them into her mind so she can follow them without thinking, so that her whole heart may be set on pleasing and obeying Me.

As we both live in a larger society that pressures us in a variety of ways it is only common sense that these rules have some flexibility and will not remain invariant. The content of the rules is less important than what they represent. She is expected to be flexible and inventive in obeying the rules.

All of My servant's actions are instrumental in shaping her into something I can be proud of as her Master, whether they be correct or not. Self-discipline is vital in meeting My expectations and is at the basis of all she will learn from Me.

The picture of submission

My submission is a natural inborn feeling, and at times a surging and powerful force inside me that only a respectable and knowledgeable Master can recognize, control and manage, for He understands how my nature influences my behavior. He, too, manages and controls His own natural state, sharing with me through an exchange between us, binding me tightly to Him, His needs tangled with mine. My submission to such a Master allows me to feel more aware and alive inside and out, make me feel a feeling I cherish: "at home".

* Only through submission can I find my true self, in submission I am made free.

* I will serve, obey and please my Master of my own free will.

* All my choices shall be based upon whether or not they will please my Master.

* The greatest felt satisfaction is realized when I know I have pleased my Master.

* I have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved servant.

* I am my Master's greatest treasure.

* To receive pleasure I must earn it.

I submit to the will of my Master and I am bound to Him. I accept His authority over me for my purpose is to serve, obey and please my Master. I will work hard to give my Master control and turn my will over to Him. I know this is my duty and I desire to serve and please Him by doing so. My Master knows of my potential, learning more about me in each day I am with Him. He trusts that I will act in accordance with what He perceives of my potential, He knows what is best for me. I am to set a good example through my behavior.

I am always in submission to my Master whether He is present or not, ready to please Him at any time, in any place, under any circumstances that He deems appropriate. I trust my Master will keep me safe, protecting His reputation and mine in the presence of others, as He examines my ability to present myself to Him.

The needs of my Master must always come first because they offer an opportunity to please Him. The opportunity to please my Master is very important to me and I will take every chance to seek out such opportunities to do so to the best of my abilities and in accordance to how i have been taught or allowed to do so. There can be no greater pain or suffering than knowing that I have displeased my Master in any way. Naturally I will feel depressed, saddened, empty, and lost. I can only hope He will show His mercy upon me and provide to me the guidance I will need to be put back on track so that I will be forgiven.

I will treat and obey the rules He has provided for me with respect and shape my life in purpose of following them, because I realize that my Master only means to improve me by imposing restraints on me.

Trust

Trust is an indispensable necessity in a power based relationship. I have to trust that My servant will follow My commands and guidance, she needs to trust that I will not lead her astray or abuse her. She needs to be secure in knowing that reporting anything she feels is not right will not lead to repercussions. I am a serious person, I don't do BDSM frivolously or lightly. I don't treat it as a game and will not commit to those who do. Trust is slow to build and easy to lose, I will not risk My painstaking efforts with someone who will throw everything away.

I trust my Master: His responsibilities, His skills, His hunger and needs, and His concern for my safety, my emotional, psychological, social, sexual, and physical health. I need to know that He will be responsible and that He will take everything into account when He decides on something that will affect both of us. If I know that, then I know that I am safe in His hands and I can freely give my body and mind.

Obedience

Obedience is the pride and joy of the servant. My servant knows that when she is obedient to My will and does things the way I want them done she makes Me proud to own her. Obedience is something that is not negotiable and the consequences for disobedience are My displeasure and being removed from My presence and love. Coming back to the center of our relationship can only be achieved if correction and discipline have been doled out and forgiveness has been given.

Hesitance in obedience to Me will first be met by an inquiry in the clearness of the instruction. If the instruction was clear, then hesitance will be considered disobedience and discipline will follow.

Respect

Respect is a result of and a prerequisite for the deep commitment we have made to each other. Both sides should respect the other for the strength that He or she displays in honoring it.

She respects Me because I am strong, confident, responsible, consistent, aware of any risks we face when playing, have a plan mapped out and do not back down from something I said I would do. She respects Me because I offer her caring love and harmony. I serve just as much as she does. She respect My decisions, even when I don't take the time to explain them to her. She knows that I have our mutual best interest in mind at all times.

I in turn respect her because I know how difficult it can be for her to be selfless and give herself to Me when everything in her being shouts that she doesn't want to do something. I respect the sacrifices she makes in order to become what I want her to be. I respect the fact that she is only happy when in servitude and that she can open herself to give her all to Me.

1)General

A)Safety

* Verbal safe words will follow the 'traffic light system' (red = stop, orange = caution, green = GO!)

* Non-verbal safe words will follow the 'double squeeze' system.

* My servant will not hesitate to use her safe word when she feels overwhelmed, there is no shame in this nor is there any acceptance of disobedience here at any time. She should know that whenever she safewords or was unable to do so, there will be space for her to come down from the experience and that I will be there to care for her.

* My servant will make sure that she has the following safety precautions in sensible locations at her residence: a first aid kit, emergency tools such as emergency scissors, contraceptives as needed and also decent water based lubricants. She will read up on this besides reading the materials I provide her and she will be held responsible for providing all that is necessary for her safety in her own residence.

B)Protocol

a)Forms of Address

* In public, in company or during free time My servant will address Me by My given name.

* In private, My servant will address Me as Sir.

* In public and during free time My servant will use whatever form of address seems most appropriate and she may speak freely but with respect.

b)Rules of conversation

* My servant is responsible for all the words that she speaks.

* My servant will not use disrespectful or hurtful words in conversation.

* My servant must never show disrespect towards Me in any way - no matter if I am in her presence or not.

* My servant will keep her tone calm and collected when in a crisis situation.

* Whenever I speak, even when interrupting her, My servant is to listen and to immediately become silent. She must never interrupt Me unless we are in free time or she has an urgent message, at all other times she will speak when spoken to.

* In normal circumstances My servant must first ask for My permission to speak and whether or not she may be allowed to speak freely.

* At play parties and other scene events My servant is allowed to mingle with the crowd unless I require her to stay by My side. Whenever a conversation turns to an intimate or personal subject, she is to tell the person she is speaking with that she needs My permission to speak of such a subject and should come find Me.

* She is expected to be able to converse freely. I strongly urge her to polish her conversational skills and make sure that she has something to talk about.

* She must always give thanks to Me for all I give her immediately after receiving it.

c)Levels of protocol

* The different levels of protocol are low or public protocol, private protocol and high or submission protocol.

* Low protocol is in effect during free time and in public.

* Private protocol is in effect at our private residences, when we are by ourselves or with trusted individuals. My servant should be wearing one of the uniforms I have specified or clothing that is suited to the occasion we will be attending.

* Transitioning between low and private protocol should be fluent.

* High protocol will be planned beforehand.

* In public, when I enter the room she is in, she is to come physically greet Me. Otherwise, when I enter the room she is in she is to kneel correctly and ask Me "How may I serve you, Sir?", while maintaining eye contact.

* In public, when leaving the room I am in, she must come notify Me and tell Me where she is going. Otherwise, she needs to ask My permission in a respectful manner.

* My servant must ask Me permission to satisfy whatever need she has before acting on it. This includes getting food or drink, going to the toilet, getting a tissue, etc. In public she should not ask permission, but instead should inform Me of what she plans to do; for example: "I'm just going to get a drink, would You like anything?", thus giving Me the opportunity to reply "Actually could you do this first...?".

* If I detect a fault in My servant's behavior in public I will always address her with one of her pet names. I will tell her that she has behaved inappropriately and that her discipline will be postponed to a more suitable time if she fails to change her behavior. Otherwise, the reaction to her disobedience will be either swift or at My convenience.

* Whenever a problem arises in public My servant will inconspicuously tug My sleeve or get My attention in a similar manner and say: "Sir, there is a problem. Could you spare me some of Your attention?" in a soft voice.

* When I return home later than My servant, she must be in the hall to greet Me as I enter. She should kneel in the correct position in a spot visible from the doorway and wait for a touch or verbal acknowledgement, then verbally welcome Me home.

* During private protocol her place is sitting at My right side on the floor, unless given permission to do otherwise.

* High protocol is reserved for play time, scene activities and other special occasions where I deem it appropriate (e.g. during discipline). My servant must be dressed in the appropriate dress for what I have planned, she will be informed of what this is or will be expected to know. Her place during these times is on her knees before Me, for it is a privilege and an honour to serve Me. She is to remain in a kneeling position at the right side of the door until I enter the room and then crawl on hands and knees to where I position Myself and then kneel before Me. She will not leave the room unless I tell her to do so as long as high protocol remains in effect. Her head must be bowed down in My presence unless given permission to do otherwise or when spoken to. In this way she honours My position and shuts out distractions that would disturb her submission to Me. This will help her focus on her behavior, waiting to act appropriately and without hesitation when directed to do so. When speaking to me during high protocol, she will not break eye contact.

* In high protocol, My servant will not use the words "I", "me", "my" or "mine". Instead she will use "Your servant" and "Your servant's" when speaking to Me. She will use "the Master's servant" and "the Master's servant's" when talking to others.

C)Communication

a)In general

* Do not hesitate when responding to Me.

* If I contact My servant, she must respond. I do not like to be kept waiting. If she senses that I require a full and time-consuming response when she doesn't have time to give one, she should reply to Me in brief beforehand so I am not left waiting.

* Be both specific and explicit when speaking.

* My servant is required to always be honest, even if it means she will be in trouble.

* If My servant has to give a negative answer to one of My questions I will expect her to have arguments prepared to defend her answer. I will then judge as I see fit.

* If I find she has ever lied to me, I will judge her accordingly. Dissolution of the contract is not out of bonds here.

* My servant should always respond fully both physically and verbally to whatever I do with her. Her emotional expressions and physical responses are important to Me, she should never hold back any part of their display, regardless of how intense they may be, unless told not to.

* My servant is not allowed any secrets from Me, she must tell Me all there is to know about her in due time so I can learn what I need to know. She will have to work hard to achieve this openness of body, mind and soul.

* When My servant serves Me in any way, I in turn will tell her exactly how I experienced it. She should receive these comments on her service with a grateful heart as they are instrumental to her growth as My servant. She needs to learn all she can from Me in order to understand more about Me, about herself, about the form of our relationship and the community it is part of.

* I expect My servant to bring to My attention any problems or issues she has with our relationship. Any feelings of anger, fear or other counter-productive emotions will be expressed to Me in order that I may find a way to correct these feelings. It is her duty to do so.

* She should be specific at all times about her needs. I can't promise to meet them all but I do expect to be told them. I will get very impatient if I sense her holding back.

* Being honest about disobedience means that she is asking Me for a way to move forward through the mechanism of discipline, forgiveness and forgetting about it. We go through this and then it is over for all time. We do not dwell on things that are past. We do not dig up old hurts and events to hurt each other again.

* I will not allow guilt over displeasing Me to eat away at her well-being and at her sense of peace and contentment. If she feels she has displeased Me and I have not reacted to it in the way she feels is right, she may bring this to My attention. Any reaction to her petition is fully to My discretion.

b)Journal

* I am free to read My servant's journal at any time.

* The main function of the journal is for her to write down her feelings, current events, interests and worries. I am also curious as to what her devious little mind cooks up and so any fantasies she has must be noted down in her journal with as much detail as she can manage. Some of these might show up in what I do with her.

* My servant is allowed to spend her own money on whatever she wishes to, although she is required to consult Me when she wishes to make a large purchase. Items that fall under My rules are to be purchased with them in mind, I also expect them to mentioned in her journal.

* She will maintain a written list of the things that make her the most uncomfortable, self-conscious, or embarrassed. Once an item is on the list, I am free to make her perform it and expect her to perform well. She is allowed to request that an item is scrapped from the list after trying it at least once.

* She will also maintain a list of projects that she would like to see completed. I will discuss some of them with her and set time lines around them. Once this step has been taken, achieving these goals timely will be seen as part of her training. The following are possible areas of interest: Domestic, Health and beauty, Leisure, Networking and friends, Family, Sexual, BDSM experiences, Knowledge and skills, Fun, Adventure. For an example list, see: http://libbysub.blogspot.be/2010/04/101-list_06.html

* My servant is allowed to suggest ways to further her training or the use of her either verbally or through her journal. If I am interested in taking up her suggestion I will speak to her about it, but this is not necessary. Anything that is written in the journal or verbally requested will be considered to have the green light.

* My servant will also report her perception of her progress in training so that I can appropriately further her guidance.

* She will periodically examine her whole life and look for how it has changed as a result of My investment in her. She will note down her thought process and conclusions. She will then come to Me with the journal and speak to Me about those areas where there have been improvements and those areas where she feels uncomfortable, insecure, or unsure of what direction she should take, how she should behave, or how she can behave in a manner that is different than how she has been behaving in the past.

c)Privacy

* Our privacy as a couple is important. None of the tasks that I will give My servant will have an unreasonable risk of endangering our privacy.

* At My residence there is a separate room available for My servant. This room is considered a 'free zone', she can use her own funds beyond what I have provided to adapt it to her liking. I will not interfere with its design. Any time I require entrance in this room, I will not be denied. This room is not meant for her to hide anything from Me, it is a personal space for her to express herself, to deal with her inner feelings and to calm down.

D)Organization

a)Decision making

This document is meant to guide My servant when I am not around. I do recognize that there will probably be situations when these rules and orders will not suffice. I am aiming for a framework for life, not an instruction manual on how to live it.

In situations where she feels conflicted, My servant will do her best to decide as I would and to act as I would have her act if I were there. It is her own duty to learn what she needs to know to be able to do this. I expect her to learn by observing Me and by asking Me about My choices.

Each time she has to make a decision like this, I expect her to tell Me about it as soon as she can so I can review it and make any necessary corrections for the future. Small mistakes will be tolerated, but blatant errors will not.

b)Scheduling

* My schedule will be maintained on-line, if it is not found there, it does not exist.

* My servant will keep a record of what she does and for how long. This includes all work activities, chores at home, leisure activities etc. Knowing at all times when she is available and what she has done is important in order for Me to plan out her training.

* If My servant is unable to complete her chores for any reason, such as illness or other circumstances, she must explain this to Me. Over-exertion is not acceptable as a result of trying to fulfil her duties. If there is a real reason, I will be understanding.

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