Ryan Revealed Ch. 02

Ryan Revealed 02

"Wow Ryan, this is like the best Saturday ever down here at the river park."

"Why do you say that, Angie Jaye? It seems pretty normal to me, so what am I missing?"

"Well, let's see. First, you're showing almost two fingers of belly skin, so that lends towards being an actual fem CD and then, well, well, well, I spied you talking with Ben and as he laughed and placed his hand on your waist, well, you didn't run off to the flat lands of Oklahoma, not to mention that you made it through the rest of the week without being kidnapped by the neighbor and his friend that you have been cock teasing. Oh, and you cancelled your moving truck for the southern region of the Rocky Mountains, so best Saturday ever."

"Well, forget all that stuff, Angie Jaye. And Ben's different. I mean, unlike Barry who just whips it out as he's talking, well, Ben let's me off of the hook and all."

"Well, if by "let's you off of the hook" you really mean that you make him back off because you start babbling about just being some weird third species person and all, well, OK. And speaking of Ben and how you're going to learn how to shut it, can I make you a dare? Mm-mmm?"

"Ah, no."

"Just 40 paces down the river bank and I'm not daring you to hook up with Ben. I mean seeing how you blocked your phone from searching the meaning of "hook up" and all. Come on, 40 paces down and 40 paces back and I promise you, if you just start wandering, he will follow, LOL, like a puppy dog. But with a banana."

I mean, no, right folks? The sign on the tree clearly identifies that 30 plus paces is a hook up and all, so no, right?

"Where are you going, Ryan? Aren't you afraid that you're going to get your precious high tops dirty?"

"Hey Ben, I was going exactly 29 paces down the river bank and back. And I have like 50 pairs of high tops, so it will be alright (not!). Are you tagging along with me, Ben?"

"Oh yeah, like a puppy dog, but what if I nudge you one more pace when we reach the imaginary line in the sand? Or river bank pebbles as the case may be."

"Oh, well, then I will be able to post on Chang that I "accidently" went 30 paces along the river bank, but you will not be able to post that you had a banana practice date. With me anyways. There are others here who would gladly take this stroll with you Ben."

"Yeah, but Ryan, it's you that I want to dump in seven to ten business days, not them, so if we turn left soon, well, Ryan, I would really like it if you would peel my banana tonight."

"Ben, I suppose there is something to say for flattery because of your seven to ten days relationship allowance and all, but my position on being a nonsexual weird third species freak still seems like my best choice in life, so I won't be peeling your banana tonight, but as a sign of good faith, we can turn left right here and you can show it to me. I mean, I've seen Barry's (along with literally everyone else), so I know what one looks like, OK? Ben? Ben? Ben did you take a late swim in the river or something? Ben?"

Alright, well, the key to maintaining a sexually neutral life style is to tell them that you are sexually neutral, I guess. Also, the 33-pace mark is a good place to turn left so you can sneak around the flank of the misfits without being seen as you make the "non walk of shame" back to your vehicle. I mean, the stupid headlights didn't help anything, but one was able to laugh in my face for remaining neutral.

"Hey Ryan, you're home early from the river park for a Saturday night. So, what gives?"

"Hey Mr. Burns. Yeah, I suppose I was shamed out of the park tonight, so I'm just going to soak in the tub and turn in. Anyways, did you figure out that Jack's dad bod meaty flesh really gives you a mouthful if you suck hard enough on his pecks?"

"And what if I figured that out months ago, Ryan?"

"Well, then I know what I figured I knew. But you won't get milk."

"But Jack let's me keep trying, so."

"Then I'm happy for the two of you (middle aged faggots), but as much as I like hearing about such things, I'm not going to participate, Mr. Burns."

"Is serving us beer and beer nuts and watching the same as participating, Ryan?"

"Oh, some would say yes, like movie director participation, but you can feed my visions anytime, so I'm turning in now, Mr. Burns."

"So, WTF Ryan? You're just all talk and no engagement?"

Alright, it's safe to say that Mr. Burns clearly called me just then and it's obvious that I was shamed with Ben at the river park, so I might just as well continue because I almost had a change of heart and I sent a photo text to Ben of me with a banana in my small mouth with a????? caption, but he replied with a photo text of his own and even though it was from his high angle, Angie Jaye's hair is unmistakable, so Angie Jaye had already peeled his banana.

And then I searched for open apartments in the high country of New Mexico and a new place to hang out until I moved, like the "spot", which didn't start out well.

"If you looking for a new place to hang out, that's OK, but if you're a working T-Girl, the Cottonwood Street alley is that way."

"No, no, I'm just looking for a new crew. Trust me, I'm as far from a "working T-Girl" as one can get. Um, I just go by Ryan and my thing is to ask un-nerving questions that create uncomfortable situations, which leads me to be shamed, called out and humiliated with photo texts because I'm sexually neutral."

"Well, if you're hoping to meet someone here, you might want to say that you're just on the rebound instead of all that, but anyways I'm Side Step and I guess my thing is that I like some girls and I like some boys and I like some girly boys, but none of them ever like me back, so they all side step me, like all the time, so by default I guess I'm sexually neutral too, even though I don't think that's a real thing."

"Well, it's as real as one guy making time with another guy's plumb pecks, so it's real alright and I'm the poster child of sexually neutral, Side Step."

"Whatever Ryan, come on, we need to go see Vic and get you introduced around."

"Oh, is Vic someone who has side stepped you in the past, Side Step?"

"Well, yeah, but that was last year and we're (not) over it. Anyways, Vic sells cigarettes and bananas from the trunk of his car, so let's go."

Well, as for things that should be sold together, I guess cigarettes and bananas are as good as any, right?

"Vic, hi, I'm Ryan and my new best friend Step Ladder would like a thingy of your best cigarettes in the best red & white package thingy that."

"(Blue & white)"

"In the best blue & white bag that you have. And while you're searching around in your trunk, I would like to remind that rebound romance with Two Step would be the highlight of your night. I mean, under her baggy clothes is an amazing body with creamy breasts and."

"(Perky)."

"With diamond hard perky tits that could shave your face. And if there is a place around here for you to have rebound romance with her, well, I'll take a few bananas and do stuff with them."

"(Blow job practice)."

"I will do stuff with them and you can watch. So, Vic, is there somewhere around here where you can perform the duties of rebound romance with Side Eye?"

"(Sex, do me doggie!)"

"Is there a place where she can grab her perfectly sized ankles, Vic?"

"(Thank you)."

"Huh, Ryan, what are you going to do with the free banana while I do Side Step doggie, huh? I mean, just peel it?"

"(Submit to Jake)."

"I assume that someone named Jake has his hand in the back pocket of my jeans right now, so I will submit to his lead to a point. I'm rebound romance neutral, not dead and I didn't realize that ass grabbing felt so good. Also, huh, why hasn't anyone played ass grabbing with me before?"

"So, everybody is submitting to rebound romance, ugh, I mean casual sex then?"

"(It's been a while)."

"Well, Vic, you're expected to be such a man that other things rebound quickly, so."

I mean, I just said that I needed to stop with the stupid talking that puts me in awkward positions, but once my mouth starts to flap, you know. And by the way, who was watching the cigarette store while the four of us "rented" the camper at the end of the parking lot? Also, who brings a camper to the "spot" for half hour rentals? At those outrageous rental prices? With bowls of condoms set out all about? And refreshments?

"Jake, you know I'm a boy, right? A boy who has never."

"LOL, Ryan, I know you're a cute weird neutral third species who seems to be doing all the work. You know, for someone who has never."

"Well, all pants buttons work the same and I forgot the bananas, that's all."

Well, somewhere in the last hour or so, somebody must have slipped me a pill or something. I mean, why else would things seem to flow so naturally, right? Also, I peeled my first banana, I guess.

"Sorry Jake, I'm sure that won't make your make top ten list or even your top one hundred. But for a weird neutral oddball, hey, I stuck with it, right?"

"It was fine Ryan and stop saying things like neutral and rebound and romance. It's an experience level and a hook up status. Anyways, ah, I think your little friend Side Step is happy."

"Oh, I heard and I still seem to be hearing, so yay Side Step and yay Vic, I guess. Ugh, Jake, are you, ugh, expecting me to wiggle of out of my shorts now? I mean, I'd rather be humiliated and stuff and then go so far and all."

"Not tonight, Ryan, Vic wants a blow job and we already planned on switching off, so."

Wait, what? They're "switching" off? I mean, I don't remember seeing that line item in the camper rental agreement and all.

End Ryan Revealed 02