All Comments on 'Sacrificing Love'

by wetapap

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  • 134 Comments
energystarenergystaralmost 16 years ago
hit me hard

Thank you so much. Reminds me a little of Charles Beaumont or an early Capote short. In my onion you really took this thing to another level. I try to over some constructive criticism when I can, but do not have it in me today. So simple, yet not.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
I have read and enjoyed a great many of your

stories but this one is amazing. I am troubled but enthralled by the scope of this tale. This is truly a unique concept and you write so well that I'm impressed in spite of the discomfort the story has caused me. Congratulations on a great job!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Great writing but,

No decisions. Husband starts off the story running from the 2 lovers and that's it. Plot?? No. But Twilight Zone ending, Yes. Like one of those stories where they spend 30 minutes trying to figure out how to get out of a room and we were on earth the whole time. What's up with the wife, baby, the deacon guy's family, the church sermon? What? Were the deacon's family ever able to show their faces again. Did they get expelled for his public fornication and have to pay for the new baby and pay for his sins for 3 generations like the OT says. Will Rev realize the NT doesn't require him to be a wimp? Even JC got it on with the moneychangers. Did reverend ever get his dusty shoes polished? What?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
good writing;

lame "story." it's not even a story; it's an attempt to have a RED HERRING as an answer to a two/three problems: <p>

1. what do you do, if your wife cheats? <p>

2. what do you do, if she cheats and has an accident and is in a coma and is not able to tell you how terribly, horribly "sorry" she is? and the biggest of all pseudo dilemma: <p>

3. what do you do, if she's pregnant and you are living in a small hillbilly town with no 21st century medicine, so no amniocentesis can be done, and even though you have some operations, your doctors tells you although it is not likely you are the father, it can not be ruled out 100 percent? <p>

ESPECIALLY given the fact that you've always preached to people they should froget each other's faults and transgressions? <p>

lame hypthetical dilemmas, with RED HERRINGS, nothing but smelling fishes, as "answers."

DjmcljrDjmcljralmost 16 years ago
not this time

I read your stories, as I have written you before. As I have stated, your stories are listed as my favorites. I still feel that you should be a published author, if you are not so already. You seem to write to evoke for an emotional response from your reader. This time your writing has left me with apathy. The dilemma that the husband faces, is superseded by the fact he walked away from his wife and lover in the act of passion, and the choice she consciously made to be a voluntary adulterer. We the reader are not given any background as to why she is with another sexually other than her husband. The fact he does not confront this dilemma, but chooses to turn and run away gives insight to his decision to detach himself from her choice of action. Once a seed has been planted, It grows or dies. What ever the outcome of her injuries changes nothing of her actions. The dilemma of the pending child that has a poor if no chance of being his, changes nothing of his decision making process, except the chance to save a life. To forgive or to shun, is a decision made by both fact and heart. Not enough insight was given through your characterization to help the reader to resolve the husbands agony. As all life is precious, the resolve to save that life is paramount. The consequences that follow, will always be shadowed by the seed. Donald J. McLellan Jr.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Bluntly put; not enough data

Well written story, that's let down by not enough information on why she acted the way she did. I second the previous commenter.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
amazing writer

WOW! you are an amazing writer.

but the story is not for this site/crowd. but i still think you deserve a 100.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
enjoyed the read

Interesting story line but lacked a little bit of crispness. This made it hard to follow at times. The concept was okay but but delivery a little weak.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
There has to be a sequel

as above

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
BEAUTIFUL IRONY

BEAUTIFYL IRONY, O'HENRY WOULD BE PROUD

peggytwittypeggytwittyalmost 16 years ago
A different plot line with no ending. Chapt 1??

To me a good chapter one, but if this is the story in its entirety then it left me unfulfilled. You did a great job of writing this fantasy but left it all up in the air like a Saturday matinee serial.<P>It is great to show us the delineation of the beginning, but there is no middle or any end. I personally find that not entertaining. Oh well, that is just my opinion, which also includes you are a great writer.<P>PT

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightalmost 16 years ago
I liked it.

This story isn't about answers, but about questions. What does the poor schmuck do now? Probably there are as many answers as there are readers. No woodshed this time!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Excellent

Excellent tale! Very moving and full of emotion. I hope there is a follow-on of some sorts so that we can have closure too.

gatorhermitgatorhermitalmost 16 years ago
Talk about piling it on...

Not even Job lost his wife... Tom appears to have lost everything. I'd like to see a Ch. 02 where Tom does forgive his wife but moves on with his life and finds something better. Even Job had an epilogue...

roadbirdroadbirdalmost 16 years ago
forgive yes

forget no...even as a minister he can forgive but that doesnt mean he has to raise a kid that is not his...i think hes right to go after the other mans family to pay support for his transgression....as far as his wife is concerned he should start divorce proceedings as yes a minister can do that also ...and let his wife live her own life now ...if she stays in a coma then her life will be as it is and she will die never knowing anything other than she destroyed her life and others ....if she wakes and is paralyzed then she will have to make it on what she will get in disability....id say if the baby was bonr do a dna test on it if it was hubbys then he can raise his own child...if not then see if his wifes family or the mans family wants to raise it if not then foster care of adoption is also an option.... either way he can claim child support from the mans insurance...that would be a nice way t ohave some extra money come in and not really have to do much except feed n cloth a kid ...he could still make money off the insurance and from social security to pay for the kid...after all it was his wifes and the man was dead...if his wife does wake up and want the kid then she could have it...after all it is hers and not his ...he would just be watching it for 18 years till it could be shoved out on its own ...shoot maybe it might even like him...as hes a preacher she probably would unless she turned out to be a whore like her mother....then she would still be ok as everyone can live their own life unless she gets married ....then maybe history would repeat itself

Landrious1Landrious1almost 16 years ago
Even the Bible...

lists adultery as a reason to put aside your spouse. It doesn't say not to forgive but it doesn't say you have to tolerate it either.

PArebelPArebelalmost 16 years ago
Wonderful!

Like others, I think it cries for an epilogue. <p>

Is he the father? <P>

Why did she do this? <p>

Preaching forgiveness or not, do they survive?<?>

<P>

These and more are questions that cry out for answers.<p>

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Good story

Good Story!!! Great narration, well written, Great subplot and perfect twist at the end!!! Keep Writing and throw some more sex into it and you'll have a surefire winner!!!!

DG HearDG Hearalmost 16 years ago
Well Done!!!

Very well done. You have turned into quite the author.

Kudo's to you

With the highest respect

DG Hear

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Extremely fine piece of writing

Well put together and as heart-wringing as possible!

Congrats Wetapap. You deserve a prize!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
excelent

had me from the first till the last word. if possible lets have a chapter two. Mike from Texas

Harryin VAHarryin VAalmost 16 years ago
crap upon more crap

this is a fucking joke right?

<br></br>

How is the fact that the husband is a pastor minister in the LEAST bit relvant to WHAT the cheating whore wife did? Surely the whore wife KNEW her husband was a man of God?

<br></br>

More laughably the author implies or is trying to imply that b/c the husband took off at a high rate of speed after seeing his whore wife in a Deep passionate fuck session ... that the whore wife's pursuit.. that leas to her accident and Coma is somehow HIS fault !!!..

<br></br>

are you people really that fucking stupid to accept this?

<br></br>

If I rob a bank and some bystander Gets shot it is MY fault for robbing the Bank NOT the bystander who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

since the husband cant and wont and more importanly should NOT accept her cheating who cares if there is a 1 in 1000 chance the baby Might be his?

<br></br>

Once the Husband Knew and saw them he could of confronted his cunt whore wife.... he choose to RUN instead. That is HOW he chose to to respond... to leave HER and what she had done behind.

<br></br>

a follow up to this mindless story might be interesting but ALL of these "issues" have to be answered one way or another.

gyjunkiegyjunkiealmost 16 years ago
Excellent

This story screams for a second part. Please don't leave us hanging.

wetapapwetapapalmost 16 years agoAuthor
A Thank You Note

for everyone that has left comments. i try to send a personal note to each individual. some i have no way of contacting. i do appreciate the comments and wish to thank everyone who has taken the time to read the story.

Papabear49Papabear49almost 16 years ago
Very nicely done author!

A good story with a hard lesson for a young pastor. Being a man of God doesn't mean that life good and bad don't happen. Wetapap described the conflicting moral issues this man faced and the pain of facing his own human frailities too.

BY the way Harry "YES" if you rob a bank and some gets shot or shot and killed you are charged. So you are the one who is at fault in reply to your weird example. But no where in the story does the Paster even hint he is at fault or believes its his fault. This was a blindside revelation.

Oh and no where in the text does the writer say if he forgives her he has to take her back. His pain is facing the emotion of trying to forgive him self for being human.

Thanks agin for the story

Papabear

BigFtHunterBigFtHunteralmost 16 years ago
The Greatest Story In A Long Time.

Wetapap has a masterpiece. This is the best damn story written and posted on Literotica in a long time. It has everything. The husband is a preacher, the pregnant preachers wife may be carrying her lovers baby however there is a chance it is the husbands. LOL There cant be an abortion because the husband isn't shooting blanks. The lover dies leaving no hope for revenge. Now the wife is in a state of coma and who know what is going to happen with her. The list goes on and on. I just love this one. David Allan Coe has nothing on this writer. LOL

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Please...

I always find your stories to be the highest quality but, they always leave you hanging. This I am sure is on purpose but is getting old. Please finish the many that you have written before another one. A true fan.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
You have heaped shit on a good man!

First an adulteress wife with a deacon of his and her own church. That would need to be announced to the congregation as they deserve the truth, no matter how nasty. Then the accident casued by her chasing him at speeds she could not control due to her own guilt. Dont let him blame himself for that it was a situation she caused and she carried out. Now pile on it the the fact the other adulterer died in the crash in her car, no doubt still not dressed as he didnt have time to. Then add the fact she is injured and will probably be paralyzed, do you remember, in sickness in health? Followed immeditely by do you remember forsaking all others? Not only is she paralyzed in allikelyhood but she is also pregnant and tiw ill be carried to birth. The doctor can test for viable sperm and get an immediate result but the hospital is to low tech to do and ultrasound and get a aminocentesis sample to compare DNA? Are you nuts? Or to do a test on the villi sample taken? this isnt real expensive and can be done by labs. Most insurance programs would pay for it if it was done to "check the babies genes for genetic diseases". He is right if the baby was by the sluthound, he needs to find out immediately and file on the family for the childs rights. Ultimately two things need to happen, file immediately for divorce and get depositions from the hospital staff on the wifes arrival, condition, the pregnancy, and the likelyhood of the childs parentage. To not do those things would be just plain stupid. A true Christian forgives and forgets, divorce her, forgive her, and forget her! As the doctor said parentage may wait until she delivers and at that point the court will take into consideration the custody of the child. If his, he could sue for custody since she has a dubious sexual history and it would be seriously difficult for her to raise the child. If not his, he could sue in the name of the child for his rights under the fathers name. Why do people try to make cheating spouse cases difficult. You commit the crime you pay the time, simple and easy.

JADED_ONE1969JADED_ONE1969almost 16 years ago
As always....

Good story. Well worked. I can really understand how this man felt. And boy this has to be the worst day in history.

jack_strawjack_strawalmost 16 years ago
provocative

Harry tends to get a little high-strung sometimes, but writers ignore his observations at their peril. If you can get past the attitude, he usually has some pretty good points to make. And the point he makes here is valid. Why is Tom feeling guilty? He had an evil moment of wishful thinking in the midst of a life crisis that came tragically true, but is that his fault? He's not the one who was so wracked by guilt that she wrecked her car and killed her lover trying to somehow get to absolution. He also had a very salient point that wetapap needs to resolve the gaping questions left at the end IF he intends to move forward with this story, That said, this is a very well-written story by a talented and seasoned writer who knows how to play with the readers' emotions. Truthfully, if it was me, I'd leave it alone. Sometimes, some stories should not be finished; they're stronger if they aren't. Makes the reader think. I think this is one of those stories.

GenghisKhanGenghisKhanalmost 16 years ago
I concur with angry Harry

crap upon more crap

05/31/08 by Harryin VA

this is a fucking joke right?

How is the fact that the husband is a pastor minister in the LEAST bit relvant to WHAT the cheating whore wife did? Surely the whore wife KNEW her husband was a man of God? <p>

More laughably the author implies or is trying to imply that b/c the husband took off at a high rate of speed after seeing his whore wife in a Deep passionate fuck session ... that the whore wife's pursuit.. that leas to her accident and Coma is somehow HIS fault !!!.. <p>

are you people really that fucking stupid to accept this? <p>

+++++++++++++++++ <p>

As usual, Wetapap's writing and his ability to invoke --- actually, to EVOKE --- emtions were excellent. <p>

But as a story, it was not. It was no more than a brief synopse in which we, as voyeurs, glimpsed the pastor husband being a voyeurs to his wife's fucking: even with God on your side, it must have been a terrible shock to see your wife's lips forming and "O" shape, as she's being hammered hard, while she's O-ing, look at you. And you are not sure whether her look was a surpirse, that you are there looking at her or that her lover's a really good lover, hammering way too hard! <p>

But, then, Harry, remember not all people have taken introductory logic courses! When that's the case and people also grow up on red herring diets, it's sort of difficult to keep original problems on sight, as new and diverting ones are always popping in the rear view, driving that fast! LOL

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Needs a sequel

I agree with Jackstraw, but I also believe that this story needs a sequel. Most likely the sequel will not be as powerful as this "snapshot-of-time" story, but that said, this story grew beyond a snapshot and became the "start-of-a-story". Bright Eyes and Stupid Mailbox were truly snapshots. Two of the best snapshots that I have ever read. This story however went beyond a snapshot and really cries out for a finish. Great story author.

DesertPirateDesertPiratealmost 16 years ago
Wow!

Damn Pappy, you shure stired up a hornets nest with this one! It's another very well written story with an outstanding twist at the end. Well I can imagine a few endings and I'm sure there are at least two for every reader out there. I like the way you ended it and left it to us, please don't write an ending.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
One thing story may be lacking is...

A STORY! Does a laundry list of unsolved problems and mental questions and/or notes constitute a story? Other than a VERY subtle underlying theme of: Be careful what you wish for ("Goddamn her, wish she'd just crash and burn..."), what happens or gets accomplished here? Rev is apparently being tested, and what MAY BE several VERY subtle biblical and plot, double meanings and references (Rev going fishing, laying for 3 days, starting all over again, and possibly others) to support authors parable, what is being illustrated?

DoctorWyldcardDoctorWyldcardalmost 16 years ago
Ok prepare for long comment ahead

Wow, lots of opinions here! Well I might as well jump in here…since I have a LITTLE knowledge of this story.<p>

Why is the Preacher breaking down?<p>

Well let’s see.<p>

1: He just found out his wife was cheating on him.<p>

2: The woman he loves/hates MIGHT be crippled in an accident that he wished for.<p>

3: She MIGHT be knocked up with HIS child OR the child of her lover.<p>

4: And he feels like a professional failure, and feels like he is failing GOD, because RIGHT NOW he can’t forgive her.<p>

Wow<p>

Now point one we all can get so lets pass on that.<p>

Point 2 now…. Well let’s NOT forget this story ends not 48 hours after it started. So he is still in shock. Heck he would be in shock from catching his wife in an affair NOT to mention the accident AND him wishing for it. <p>

Chances are when he calms down and looks at it rationally he will lose that ‘guilt’ but right now, under shock, he aint thinking rationally.<p>

One reason that professionals say that if you catch your spouse cheating, don’t make ANY major decisions until you can ‘calm down’ or for 1-2 weeks.<p>

Give yourself some time to deal with the situation and think rationally about it.<p>

Point 3: well TO ME, and yes wet this is hammering your old loving soul on this. This is more of a pile on than anything. So I will skip it except to say… Job didn’t have it this bad I don’t think.<p>

Point 4: Think about it. He tells everyone “You have to have FORGIVENESS in your heart!”<p>

What about if he counseled a couple that are having problems and said, “You need to forgive them”<p>

Well now he ‘knows’ he has to do that… but being in shock, HE CAN’T.<p>

So he thinks he ha to give it all up… he’s crashing emotionally.<p>

Now a FEW points to make:<p>

1: you can’t EXPECT immediate forgiveness for adultery…don’t happen.<p>

2: Forgiveness DOES NOT mean acceptance.<p>

Forgiveness, to paraphrase on old geezer I know, is letting go of your anger so that you can move on. <p>

Doesn’t mean you have to take her back. You can divorce her… and let go of the anger so you can form a healthy relationship down the road.<p>

Now IF he forgives her…. AND takes her back… How is she going to ‘make it up to him?” IF she IS paralyzed…they are going to have problems in their love life…<p>

And IF the child aint his… there will a PERMANENT reminder of her affair running around needing new shoes.<p>

On the immediate front, this story is a “what would YOU do?” “How would YOU feel?”<p>

On another front…how can they heal? With so much in the way? Wet put us through the emotional ringer…. And then let us know there is NOTHING but more pain to come.<p>

I mean IF he can’t accept her adultery and pregnancy, aint he abandoning his crippled wife? <p>

It’s lie those really good old Twilight Zone episodes where at the end you have more questions and more stirred up feelings than before you started.<p>

No he didn’t ‘wrap things up’. No nice neat little bows here. And friends… that is why we have such strong reactions to this story.<p>

And that is why WETAPAP is one of the ‘greats’ to me on Literotica.<p>

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Ironic

Commentor are writing better stories ABOUT this story than what constitutes the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Pastors are human...

but I wonder about the vulgarity. I'm no expert; but at no point is he concerned about the use of profanity. He swears like a sailor on shore leave and why do people persist in calling a cheating wife a whore? Is she being paid for it? For fucks sake people, she's a slut. An adulteress even; but unless she is being paid, she is not a whore. Great Story though....interesting to see where it goes.

DjmcljrDjmcljralmost 16 years ago
Correcting a mistake

Sometimes we can't see the hand in front of our face. LOL Mistake corrected. This is a twist, isn't it?

wetapapwetapapalmost 16 years agoAuthor
an editied post by Harryin VA

06/01/08 By: Harryin VA

I guess TheBullet ... ... has reverted back to his old style of making me-- Harry-- the ONLY bad poster/ reader at Lit.

<br></br>

Why is it that that TheBullet will bash me... which is his right... but IGNORE what Genghis Khan and Jack Straw has said...

<br></br>

...which is that they agree with me.

wetapapwetapapalmost 16 years agoAuthor
an edited comment by the bullet in PA

5Wow, doesn't Harry read these stories?

06/01/08 by thebullet in PA

This was a snapshot of a story, showing a man of God who is facing a tremendous moral dilemma: how does he react in the manner he has been taught and has been teaching is the proper way to react when his emotions are ablaze with grief and anger?

The fact that he is a pastor is the point of the story, Harry. So often you entirely miss the point of a story, centering your comments only on the adultery and the retribution or lack thereof handed out to the cheating wife and her lover, while missing the big picture that the author was driving at. If a husband doesn't react in a certain way and immediately, Harry condemns the story. Period.

But this story was about the emotional tribulations of the husband, who also has to filter his reaction to his wife's infidelity through the lens of his profession.

This was an extremely original and well-thought out story. We rarely get writing of this quality here.

wetapapwetapapalmost 16 years agoAuthor
i edited and reposted the following two comments,

without certain personal insults. i have already gone on record before letting everyone know that i won't let the comment sections of my stories be used for derogatory personal attacks on other readers. take it somewhere else gentlemen.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Thank you

You are a writer who understands and portrays human emotions better than virtually anyone that I have read before. The dilemma facing the pastor is almost beyond belief, yet when we consider human weaknesses, it can be all too real.

I deeply appreciate your taking comments that denigrate other readers off the board while letting those that do not like your story stand. That is integrity.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Comments - Humorous and Sadly Off Point

Masterful Author. Immensely calculated and played upon.<P>

A writers job is to entertain and sometimes provoke. This was both -- and rare -- and well done. Impossible with steak but still rare and especially here.<P>

It is what it is and most of all its done - in my mind anyway. It can't get better but can get worserer real easy.<P>

Emotions aside [easy for you] many people have trouble understanding that like a football, basketball or underwater basketweaving game, the script is written on the field and involves real people doing unreasonable things beyond their norm. And thats life.<P>

There was nothing unreal in this story - nothing that wouldn't or couldn't have happened in life. Do you think that the Authors intent was to make you think - ya think?<P>

Do you think that would have happened with a pretty bow of wrap up on it?<P>

An unusually deep and well expressed work Author. Be proud of it. I am -- of you.<P>

With Very High Regard

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
about the emotional tribulations of the husband???

With all due respect, can't anyone, or thing, write soap operas full of cliched, unanswered cliffhangers? Plot outline for followup: AS THE STOMACH TURNS, CH 2: Wife wakes up unable to move because of damaged spine, BUT HAS AMNESIA and can't remember anything. Deacon's autopsy reveals he is HIV positive. His family and contacts may have it but it won't show up for years. Doctors say REV IS THE FATHER OF THE BABY, but it is at risk for the disease and complications and must be removed from the wife to survive, but there's a 99% chance the wife won't survive. The Deacon's family find evidence on his laptop he PREVIOUSLY drugged and blackailed women for sex. Rev wonders/prays, "Oh, what should I do? Get tested for AIDs, save who, run away, tell the congregation, wish for a hot fudge sundae this time, shine my shoes??" THEN HE CRIES, AGAIN. There I did it, feel free to flesh it out. LOL

kelchakelchaalmost 16 years ago
Excellent Plus

My first reaction when I came to the end of the story was to say "Bastard". I was very excited about how the story would develop and settled back for a fascinating read. THE STORY ENDED!!! ********** As is, the story is complete, but it was in my mind for some time and still is in my mind. I spent the last several days working on a story outline which I will post in the next month or so. ******* I came back to the story to read the comments and couldn't find mine. As I headed the comment with BASTARD, I assumed my comment was deleted and sent an apology to wetapap. He said he didn't see the comment so I guess I pressed the wrong button.****** This story is so exciting because of the potential for it to go so many ways. Will the husband discover 'absolute love' and use this opportunity to grow in his faith? He gave up the opportunity to be a father out of love for his wife, can he find that love for his wife again? Will he allow the child to live? Will he eventually love the child? Does he have to give up his sex life if wife survives and is unable to have sex? ******

Why did the wife cheat? It must have been unplanned as she got pregnant. Did she loose her senses due to lust for a short period of time? A hint is in her reaction to discovery. **** Goodness, I could go on and on and on about the many questions raised and the many sub-plots which could be explored. Days later I am still excited by this story. The emotional punch is huge for me. I basically read only wife stories which deal with emotion, remorse, regret, and the positive. Who cares about a wife who cheats and doesn't have remorse - no emotional punch. Until this story, my favourite was Eleanor Rigby by HarddaysKnight - but only the first chapter. I felt his story should have ended with that chapter. My only story to date - Janet Cheats - will be left as is. I wrote two follow up chapters and had planned another, but decided that the original should not be expanded. ***** Sometimes you just have to leave the reader hanging and leave it to their imagination. ***** Wetapap, I really love your writing and hope you will come back to this story and let us see what your fertile imagination will do with the very many questions raised. However, If this is it for the minister and his wife, I can regretfully accept that. Let me come back to my original thought, I expand the phrase and say with admiration, 'oooooh you bastard, that was good.' *****

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Sequel???

Follow up could actually out do this story's non ending ending by being more of less: How about the ultimate non ending ending: It was all a dream. It's so profound! It would make us al thing deep thoughts. Yes, this is sarcasm; I am mocking this "story".

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Hated the ending

The story was pretty good though. If the guy is lucky the slut will never regain consciousness and he can put the bastard up for adoption or hand it over to the family of the adulterous deacon and let them deal with it. Sorry for the rant but I have seen adultery ruin too many lives to find it erotic.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
hmmm....

very provocative. well written.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Well done

This was a very powerful story, well written and thought out. I really didn't like the ending at first but after reading it again I came to believe that this was the perfect ending. Even though I would really like to know how this story would unfold further into the future I'm not really sure it could be done without hurting the original story. Well done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
not a test from god

this is not the story of god testing the loyalty of someone, taking all away and woes heaped on him; then restoring him many times over. a cheating wife with a deacon no less, good person of god, hypocrit. there is

a point that forgiveness os a problem. does that mean having more to do w her (another's) child, perhaps not.

not a 1x thing and not accidental meetings. just sex, right?

BigFtHunterBigFtHunterover 15 years ago
I love this story.

Every time I read this it just gets better. I read some of the comments and cant help but wonder. I agree with the Doctor on this one. It has everything and more. I made a comment about David Allen Coe please let me clarify. He is associated with the greatest country western song ever written. Its truly funny. Well I was trying to convey this story is a masterpiece. I love it and hope to see more of this authors work (immediately) in the near future. KEEP WRITING. PLEASE

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
FINISH

Very simple i don't like half stories.

bruce22bruce22about 15 years ago
Truly fascinating painting

As the critics pointed out the questions are fundamental to the cheating wife category. None answered and

all presented in a very emotional way. For me the fact that he had a professional crisis as well as a family crisis showed the power of the author.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Excellent story....

and is complete.What a tangled web and money where your mouth is to boot!Pistolpackinpete

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Are all these people nuts?

Being left with your imagination is tantamount to not even reading the story. No beginning, no ending, what the hell is this Robert Frost.Just a middle. Your a very good writer wetapap, but quit being too artistic, and fly over the heads of this very average reader. Anyway keep writing. Luis

RonRWoodRonRWoodover 14 years ago
Okay

I agree with some of the commenters that "do not" see this as a complete story. Using our own imagination to the middle and ending is just not good enough... I read the authors comments that see this as a complete story in itself. But to me...it is like the previews of a coming movie. Just enough to titilate us so we keep coming to the theatre. Sorry... Maybe if some of you other better authors could create alternate endings?

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Oh I think this story IS complete and needs no . .

thing further. It stands alone just as it is. If you've ever struggled with your beliefs and the hits life gives you that're this bad . . . you just KNOW what he's feelin and WHY he's crying in front of his flock of fellow sinners. I do not doubt but that one of the deacons or elders will step up and say a few words, that's just what happens in such situations. He'll be left alone for a while in his grief then those in the church will come to him with sympathy and prayer - which will not help him greatly but will help him 'settle' in his mind and eventually he'll make a decision. He doesn't have many alternates or options now does he? It's easy to see them even from where he is now. The error in the story is in that it IS easy to get amiontic fluid from a fem with child and the necessary tools to do it are right in even the smallest of hospitals - for other reasons. If anything, it's a lack of a lab in the hospital to do a DNA analysis however the sample can easily be sent elsewhere and quickly done and the info sent back. The time span can be either hours or days, up to a week depending upon the 'urgency' of the analysis if one is willing to pay the fees.

It is still a 'story' and that lack of proper info doesn't detract from the story as a whole.

I've rated this story at "75", the highest I've ever rated any story on this site cause I can relate to the poor slob in many ways.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
no no

There was NO ending to this story

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Needs Your Ending

Great story except for that, but if you couldn't think of a ending, don't start. For me it would be easy, pull the plug and walk away, start over in a new state, car salesman.

woodmanonewoodmanoneover 14 years ago
What a twist

Didn't see the husband being a preacher until you wrote it. Nice twist along with wife being pregnant. Very good job. Personally I would like the story finished, but this "ending" make you use your brain. It also as show by the amount of comments, can stir up debate. Again good job.

woodmanone

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
WHOA!

I didn't see that ending coming. Outstanding work, way to go. <P>

Jenny

norcal62norcal62almost 14 years ago
Too bad about spending time on a story.

You get one third into a situation and bail out with only the minimum of effort. This was only the beginning, yet you think you've done your duty by discussing a few issues of what to do with a fetus, then not making a decision.

BS

shangoshangoover 13 years ago
You remember that I'm one of your biggest fans...

But this is a jumbled mess. What Pastor has a vasectomy? All major religions forbid any type of birth control. Number two, what man follows his cheating wife and then runs (Matt Moreau's "heroes" notwithstanding?)?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
wow talk about time to resign

the church he is minister to has to be one of black arts, time to step into the light

to forgive does not mean to forget, it simply means i will get over what you have done to me (and in this case to yourself). Amnoic Fluid test are neither expensive nor challenging nor is DNA testing.

Divorced she can become a ward of the state and if the child proves to be his, would not be difficult to prove she is an unfit mother.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
cant do DNA test of either type but can treat spinal injuries get real

You can forgive the transgression and still divorce the person as unfit to be your spouse. And the issue of the child needs to be addressed ASAP since the other mans family are carving up his estate. Tell the people that the deacons wife has no blame in the act and was not part of it, all responsibility rest with the dead deacon and the wife in a coma in the hospital. Their acts will be judged by God.

EMiamiRiverRatEMiamiRiverRatabout 12 years ago
Good story...

except for the last page. Perhaps some work on the ending would be appreciated. It appears that you lost interest in writing this one, and just rammed it home.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago

That's it? It's not finished.

tazz317tazz317almost 12 years ago
A SACRIFICE NEEDS A DONOR AND A GIVER

so far this hasnt occured. TK U MLJ LV NV ps its been quite a while and no closure or epilog.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago
What is a spiritual Minister ?

For my entire life all I have had are Ministers, not spiritual ones so what exactly are they ? An interesting twist for a flash story to have the church Deacon doing the Minister's wife. How she could have been so stupid is yet another page or two of story. The story was well written and flowed well and then ended quite abruptly with important questions outstanding.

chytownchytownover 11 years ago
Good Read***

Thanks for sharing a very different story.

MrVdogMrVdogover 11 years ago
what's the problem??

legally, he is in the position of authority over her medical care, and over her fetus' medical care. legally, for now, he is the presumptive father, and no court will hold that the fetus has rights in the first trimester. Abort the bastard and pray the whore dies.

shanebrumdershanebrumderabout 11 years ago

I really don't know how to react to this. I've loved all the stories I've read of yours, so far, and was looking forward to some conclusion to this, but it wasn't what I expected.

TavadelphinTavadelphinabout 11 years ago
Wow what situation -

You did one there -

The minsters wife - near death and pregnant - no abortion for them - forgiveness is his mantra - hypocrisy is not unheard of - but what will he do - WHAT WILL HE DO -

Paradox of the highest order -

elHosedelHosedalmost 11 years ago
Forgiveness does not equal acceptance

Seriously, why don't people understand forgiveness does not equal acceptance? Forgiveness is releasing your hate and anger. Acceptance is something completely different. You can forgive, remember, and never allow someone to hurt you again.

Bill1104Bill1104almost 11 years ago
Does this author ever finish a story?

This is the third one page story that I have read by this author. They're all great - as teasers! Is it too much to ask for a story to have a conclusion?

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
dead women tell no lies

have then disconnect the machines

and villi testing does not need real expensive equipment nor does the amniocentisis

tell the congregation the truth of what you found, the truth shall set u free

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good stories that are never finished.

Will someone finish his unfinished stories.? Why keep writing and leave the story unfinished .

Storm113Storm113over 10 years ago
finish it

good up to this point. now finish it or quit writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago

Meh. Give the baby up for adoption when it's born. And give her up for adoption as well- maybe a package deal.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 10 years ago
Wow

What a predicament. What to do? Hmm...

I know. Wait until she regains consciousness, go face to face then spit in her eye. Quit the ministry and join the Merchant Marines.

How the fuck do I know?

Damn

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Nice start

Good story... Wish it had an ending

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
good

really good please continue

lonewolf3307lonewolf3307about 9 years ago
Looks like you might 've stopped writing in early 2010...

... Thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
FTDS

See above

Thankee so far.

CarnilliaCarnilliaalmost 8 years ago
what a crappy ending

Am I supposed to read a story that holds a lot fo really great themes going and don't any answers at all? Sorry not for me.

MattblackUKMattblackUKalmost 8 years ago
Still consider this to be one of the best stories on Literotica

Pathos, angst, hate,horror, infidelity.

I just re-read it, it still moves me.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
1*

why doesn't this moron finish his shit?

TMSPTGR3TMSPTGR3over 7 years ago
Sorry

There are some things that are unforgiveable.

tazz317tazz317over 7 years ago
THE DOC IS RIGHT

especially about the shoes and walk. TK U MLJ LV NV

266xxyz266xxyzover 7 years ago
Not a bad story

It does take time and effort so for that thank you. Keep on writing!

@Carnillia.............Why was your story Marriage on a tight rope taken down I got to read the 1st part but it is no longer there. I would like to see the rest of the story...thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
This was NOT a story!

I was just a bunch of words. A story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Without an end it is nothing!

I don't care how much time you spent, I gave you a 1. Next time spend more time and write a complete story. I HATE WASTING TIME READING SOMETHING ONLY TO FIND OUT IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

Me, I would never of shown up at the hospital, E V E R!!! No matter what!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

Thank fucking God this poor excuse of a writer stopped writing poor excuses for stories that they thought were clever and NEVER finished a single one.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Wetapap, I refuse to indulge your request to like this "story" until you finish it

and it doesn't get any form of star either.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Damn

Wish this one had another page or three.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Too short

While I admire the ability to create a great cliffhanger, it is unsatisfying and frustrating at this particular cliffhanger. No like until at least something is added

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
unfinished

you left an important part of your story unwritten. Hence I cant vote because I have no idea how it's going to end. Good writing, but no ending so 2 stars.

Chief3BlanketChief3Blanketabout 6 years ago
Ugh

This author has a bad habit of leaving stories unfinished. Based on some of his other stories it is obvious he is capable of finishing them if he wanted to. He is a good writer but I giving this a 1 as it is incomplete.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
Excellent

What a great ending, what a twist. Plenty for the thinking person to ponder.

MusicGuy4FunMusicGuy4Funabout 6 years ago
Good ending

To me the story ended just right.

12
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