All Comments on 'Sad Son Pt. 01'

Perfect 5 stars

Great start, looking forward to the next part.

Just loved it

Love the story so far, looking forward to the next part

Another great story can’t wait for the rest

Outstanding story so far....I can't wait to read the rest!

My god need more. Damn story made me tear up several times. That’s all I’m going to say on this other than good job.

Totally awesome! This is one of the best stories written. Very captive and real. I'm hoping you have another chapter or two because you can't leave without a good finish.

I loved this story. I was crying at the end. I hope his sisters are able to fix him and Michelle get her head out of her ass. She would be the perfect girlfriend for him.

It's a pleasure to read something that has an actual story to it and not just a sexual orgy. Thank You, looking forward to the continuation.

Absolutely love this one. I like all of your work but for some reason this seems extra special.

Wow, what a great story. Reminds me of some of Soul71's stories. I can't wait to read chapter 2. Excellent read and so full of emotion, thank you. 5 BIG FAT FLUFFY TWINKLY STARS!

Great start looking forward to the next chapter!

I'd gave a 4.5 if I could because I did like this chapter pretty much, but I can only hope you'll avoid some of the motifs you had recently in your stories, because by those it will turn for the worse. Don't set up Michelle as the main LI. She's selfish and fickle, which is perfectly fine, but because of her traits she doesn't really click with the MC, and pushing them together would be unnatural, just as it was in Zai and Tim, where you pushed Tim with the princess by suddenly declaring they are in love, by others, and then the characters stated a few lines later that they are. I stopped reading that story around there, however much I like a good scifi themed story. It somewhat already appeared here by the MC being all down for Michelle turning to Brian instead of him. Sure she helped him out but they barely know each other, and she stated she has no interest in him. Just let that be and don't shove them together no matter what, because that's going to hurt the cohesion of the story big time. I also suggest to unpack the character of the MC a tad bit more, in the beginning he basically hates his sisters, then he announces he always loved Andrea. Either explain his character better or make this turns gradually and noticable, otherwise it's going to be a clusterfuck when he says one thing then a few lines later he says or does the complete opposite.

Wow, just wow, thanks for sharing this story with us.

Will be looking forward to the next chapters.

Beautiful story, very well written. I enjoyed it.

First time I think I've ever given one of your stories a 5. Well done

How can you have over 100 stories and still be at this level of writing? Your have grammer errors you you forgot punctuation.

So school sucks but that is life, the people can´t go from ignoring a problem to being super friendly and flirty. I mean what changed? The principle got fired so either he was somehow forcing the other teacher to ignore the problems or the other teachers are scared they get fired as well.

And the Sisters, the brother says they don´t have money but they do. The brother says the sisters bully him. But for some reason now they show him attation. The brother says they mock him if he looks at them, now they want him to watch them..... makes no fucking sense.

"This was a awful protagonist, how pathetic could he get"

He gets much better. This is rock bottom for him. Nothing is ever easy for Hal, but it's good to be Hal in the end.

Remember my intro? "Initially, the main character is hard to like, but he grows on you, have faith."

This could be your best one yet, and I have enjoyed all your stories

I love this story. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

Loved the story, easy 5/5 can't wait for the next.

Can you do me a small favor and at the start of the next chapter can you give a small description of atlest the sisters and Hal you know age, personality and physical appearance. At a few points I lost track of which sis is which you never realy described all thier looks or their personality I kind of got they are all hot and the oldest is momish and the lawyer is very attack dogish but that was about it.

EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!! Well written. I want more.

if someone wants a wham bam thank you mam story this is definitely not for them. If someone wants one of the best written stories in years on this site, then they have found it. Awaiting the next update with bated breath as the saying goes

The most promising start to a story I've read on this site in all the years I've been here!

Keep up the excellent work!

What an incredible start to this storyline. You certainly know how to front-load the pain, then revisit the same back on sisters that ignored what they were doing to poor Hal; if that abuse weren't enough, he took tons at school too! Plausible way to reverse it and make his sisters face the music, then dish out some comeuppance to the jerk principal and star quarterback. Love how you use his music as a vehicle to soften everyone up, to communicate his depth of emotion to everyone. I'm really looking forward to reading more of this! 5

Flip-flopping between the past tense and the present tense makes this very hard to read. Get an editor.

Am I the only one who think this story is kinda stupid. Everything in this story is just too much, like how pathetic the mc is and how absurd the “crying” scenes are.

This is a very good story! I really like your writing style and can't wait for the upcoming chapters!

I thought this was the deepest and most substantive story I’ve ever read on Literotica.

I'm half way through so far, and while I like the premise of the story, it's painful to read.

You should have written this in the third person. Writing multiple first-person perspectives is really confusing, especially with the constant character switches.

I’m crying and I didn’t even see the video. Thanks for sharing your talent. More, please…

5* (wish it was more)

Tc

ManoBlue, you obviously don’t get it…

That’s by far the best story I have read in what seems forever. You have put thought and built a world these seem like real people retelling the same story. Please keep up this fantastic work

The depth of the character development is very welcom. I am looking forward to read what is next. Thank you.

Absolutely fantastic... BUT!!!!

I have always loved your work and I can tell this series will be great (despite what ManoBlue thinks) You do have one big problem that I see though. I love the characters, the setup, the plot, all of it, but you have some glaring continuity errors that kept throwing me off. Time table was a big one... If your going to do a chronological story like this then it's important to keep track. (example) Monday Hal tried out for Jazz band, Tuesday gets knocked into lockers goes to hospital is out of school for three days; goes back Friday, picks up tons of homework to take up much of his weekend, Donna helps him with some then sleeps in his bed with him, then it's magically Thursday NOT Saturday and he has to go to school. See what I mean?!?

Another one is character based, now it's possible that both Casey and Donna are in school for engineering, but the main engineering student mentioned has been Casey... So why did Hal ask Donna to build the device he wants? I see this alot when you have so many characters it's easy to mix them up and when you have a couple that are similar but you don't clearly define them in some way other than by name the reader (if they are truly into the story and paying attention) can get lost or confused. I see so many times were the wrong name is used, some even to the point that the name changes ( tom becomes bill for three paragraphs) so I may be more conscious of it then others, But I try to pay attention to the story I'm reading not just for something to FAP too. Reading erotica is my version of Hal playing his music, it's my escape, so this one hooked me from the start. Thanks for Sharing and I hope you take my comments in the spirit they are given, as help.

I enjoyed it so much I already read it a second time. I'm not sure how anyone can not like this poor abused kid.

I love this!!! I hope it wins you a prize for a top story.

I was a musician (vocalist) in high school. I was also a nerd. I didn't get beaten up like Hal did, but music and working on the school paper were my tickets to recognition.

You notice that the people who help Hal are in fact helping themselves. All of them have lots of concealed sadness and unhappiness in their lives. By caring for Hal and noticing him as a person, they are rewarded not only by his music (and for some, his kissing abilities) but also by him motivating them to feel better about their lives.

This chapter is that much the better by not overloading with implausible sexual situations. The effect of good music can be to sweep you up in a wave of pure pleasure that carries you to the heavens. Though it isn't always better than sex, it touches the same kinds of response inducers and goes straight to the heart.

Let Hal not have outright sex until he and she, whomever she is (seems like the school is full of such girls/women) are truly in love. It will be worth the wait.

GREAT last line

Doing a good job, keep it up.

I'm looking forward to the other 5 parts, hopefully they come soon and we don't have to wait ages

Great start, got me wanting the next chapter. Really enjoyed it

Not sure how this story got high reviews. It reads like a checklist of actions. Interesting premise but couldn't get far because of the prose and terrible broken dialogue. I would edit the whole story, fixing the dialogue to be more organic and the prose to have more descriptions.

Fantastic

This is the first comment I've ever posted here and I've been here for years. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing such a wonderful story

"But it's good to be Hal in the end". I hope he won't have some slut girlfriend/s in the end. I wouldn't call that to be good. I would neither call to be good if he ends up losing the girl/s he gets or if he has to share her/them. I fear the worst as many of your stories end up ruined by an ending I don't like.

Really enjoyed the first chapter. Lots of emotion. Looking forward to Hal’s evolution. I hope Michelle will evolve as well instead of just being the bitchy cheerleader

This is the kind of story I love to find. Hot, but with great characters. The kind where you're as interested in what happens next, as you are with the sex.

Read the first couple of pages. The dialog is pretty bad and these people don't act like real people do. Couldn't finish it.

Absolutely amazing, best story I've read on here, looking forward to the next part

This story draws you into the characters. I only wish all the chapters were already printed so I could read to the end.

I’m enjoying this a lot. It’s a cool idea and the story so far is excellent. The different characters could use a little description, I get the sisters a little confused, but yeah, definitely one of my favorite stories.

I'm excited for more chapters. All the anon complainers probably couldn't even type 1 paragraph

Thankyou very much for such a great story, please include pee drinking in one chapter, please, we pee lovers get nothing, include a glass if possible... Please, I'll share some natural vaiagras if you write(effective on both male and female, immediate effect, no side effects),

i love this story, but please, stop with so much crying, all the time.

Wow - Powerful stuff. I'm loving the hell out of this series! 5*

Holy shit that was a spectacular story. 5/5

I love this story! It's got so much depth to different meanings. Like if this was a book, would hands down be one of my favorites. I can see the passion for the characters you have as I red this chapter.

I would love to know the parents to the main family. What were they like? You've definitely set a standard for this site.

Keep up the amazing work!

I love this chapter.

Not enough crying

pathetic author, doesn't know how to write a decent character, it's always the same garbage, I was so angry with this history garbage that I literally punched the wall, authors who write the same shit novel should be banned from the planet

WOW, this is a very good and depth of chapter you have here.

Love the story . As to giogusto grow a brain. AAAAAA+++++

Just amazing. I truly appreciate your style and how you write. 5* I can’t wait to see where you take. Hal and the seven

Loving this. Thank-you.

Loved it. Very well written. I couldn't stop. As for "giogusto", you must be on the football team.

Fantasic can't wait for the next chaper

GRRREAT Story.ONE of if not the Best I’ve ever read! WOW

I get these are supposed to be written poorly but every sister suddenly caring about him is a dumb choice

Great writing and story!!!

Wow, the story and the writing style are pretty good. What i do not like is the main character. An 18yr old dude, guitar hero, world class loser! If he is too cowardly to defend his self he gets what he earns! When i was kid, freshman and sophomore in high school, if i got into a fight and DID NOT fight back, i got an ass whoopin by my dad when i got home. If i started a fight and got my butt whooped I got a whooping when i got home! If i got in a fight i did not start but I finished it and got suspended for fighting, i got a beer and 3 days vacation!! If your confidence is so low your mental stability is being stressed, that is why we have ball bats, crowbars, and a brain that you can use to plan out your vindication. This mc is the type of kid that loses his last marble and goes on a shooting spree through his school hallways! You have to teach a man to be a man! Even when being a man is the quickest way to getting your ass whooped. After so many times of taking ass kicking after ass kicking it finally clicked in my head. Why am i not fighting back? Im gonna get my ass kicked anyways, might as well go ahead and try to inflict some damage on my assaulter!! I have zero sympathy for those that refuse to defend themselves!!

There are a lot of logic breaks in this story, he is ignored and abused by his sisters and then all of a sudden they care, all of a sudden most of the student body except the football team have a change of heart, all of a sudden he gets confident and skilled talking to girls, and out of every girl he gets sad over the school slut picking someone else, I mean I did enjoy the read but logically it’s a rushed fustercluck, still kinda enjoyable though

You were right, started slow and then kept climbing, couldn’t stop tearing up. Nice work!

Very moving, sad byt uplifting too

I don't know if I can keep reading this story. I have not stopped crying yet and it is only chapter 1.

This one has real promise

This is a great story that really hits home with me.

Alright!!

At long last a story that anybody who's got some human emotions can relate to. Fantastic

Who was watching me throughout secondary school, I was Hal, but did not have the support of seven sisters nor was I gifted with a musical talent. Throughout school I was bullied, attacked and harshly dealt with by teachers if I retaliated or defended myself.