Sadie Outlaw Ep. 013: BLAZING StrADDLES

"Where's Hollister?"

"Cleanin' up Ira so he can get back on his feet. Did the doc tell you he removed a bullet from Ira's leg?"

"I've been out all night. Prisoners still locked up?"

"Elbows in each other's ear wax but yep. Deputy Brutus is watchin' 'em."

"Deputy?"

"You did mention that to him. He jus' took charge with you guys down for the count. I have his back too. So, you jus' heal up. I'm fixin' to head out to where I captured the Dillsby's and see if I can find the bank money they robbed. Cyrus O'Malley gave me a horse for going about that. Tarnation I call him, that's why I chuckled over that hobby horse 'tween yer legs. I think you peed all over yerself so let me clean ya up while I'm modest. You can get hard if ya want I'm not offended."

"As if I have the strength to do that." He mumbled.

"Now Tom, yer eyeballin' my chest so, you can't tell me you ain't thinkin' with Clydesdale there. It's natural to lust over a hot nurse." She bathed his inner thighs and scrotum, touching him just enough not to look as if trying to arouse him.

"Yer indecent."

"That I am. And don't you try'n get after me when I done saved yer life. I'll be out of yer hair after I get my reward money and help the town back to the way it was. O'Malley said he'd talk to the Judge about my eligibility for the reward on the Dillsby's. Can I trust ole' Cyrus?"

"Doubtful! Never know with him. You come through with the bank roll maybe."

"How's come the town don't have a mayor?"

"He is the mayor, it's his town."

"Ah! Yeah, I think I did get that impression." She freshened the washcloth then gripped his cock's girth and gently stroked him with its coolness. "There's a twitch, I saw it." She laughed. "You thinkin' about me or Clara Beth?"

"Both." He had to laugh finally. "You can take yer time."

"On one condition. I need yer permission to borrow the Dillsby's weak link Ned Potter. I figure all I need is one member of the gang to lead me to that loot and he fears me more than the others do. I'll bring him back. I just need a lil' help."

"Do it! Careful of Comanches. They're hidin' everywhere."

"I know how to deal with Comanches, Tom. Speak their lingo fluent even."

"No shit! Where did you learn to talk Comanche?"

"Raised with some. My buddy Tickle Bear and his gramps. Long story!" She found herself missing Boone back in 2022. Tilly advised her to stop talking. "There! Least yer cleaner than you was. Want me to keep on strokin' ya?"

"Tempted! Naa! Yer no dove L'Amour... and I am the law. Reckon I should behave."

"Savin' it for Clara Beth?"

"Why you say that?"

"Heard she was yer wife's sister. I'm truly sorry to hear about her passing. Your son Willy looks like a scrapper."

"We wrestle." He chuckled then coughed. "You gonna stop knucklin' my..."

"Sorry!" She released him, finding herself amused by his reaction. "Reckon we don't need yer pulse racin' too hard jus' yet no ways." A pat to his crown she covered him back up and tossed the washcloth into the bowl. "Alright! I'm gonna haul Ira back to the jail and relieve Brutus. Long as yer good I'll nab Potter after I get my saddle and horse from the stable, borrow one of the other horses for Ned. I'll keep his hands bound tight. Wanna tell Ira in case he doesn't believe me?"

"Open the door."

Getting up Sadie turned the knob and motioned the Sheriff to have his say. "IRA? LET L'AMOUR BORROW NED POTTER FOR THE DAY. SHE'S GONNA GO LOOKIN' FOR THE BANK MONEY."

"If ya say so Tom." Bandaged and pants on with Hollister's help the deputy was on one foot, babying the other to avoid pain. A tip of the hat Sadie winked at Tom.

"Wish me luck."

"Yup! Careful out there."

"You can tell that to anyone who gets in my way. Devils' daughter, remember?"

"Nice tail!"

"Aww! Yer gonna be up on yer feet in no time." She shook her ass at him, then mooned him on a final note. He did smile. "See ya soon Tomcat."

"L'Amour!"

"You ready Hopalong Chastity?" Grennen just shook his head affirmatively and expected to walk along beside her limping. Caught off guard she picked him up as if he weighed nothing and put him over her shoulder. "Don't go kneein' my knockers." Doc Hollister got the door and watched her carry Ira down the steps. Grennen's eyes like saucers shrugged up at the Doc, neither man knew what to make of it. Carrying him clear across the street to the jail she kicked at the door waking Brutus up. The weary prisoners seeing her tried to back away from the bars crushing one another as if escaping judgment day. Brutus jumping up unlocked the door and let them in. Delicately sitting Ira at the desk then laying a rifle in front of him Sadie sighed wondering if this was a mistake in his condition. "There's yer crutch. Are you sure yer gonna be okay Ira?"

"I'm rested. Thanks for... where do you get that kind of strength?"

"Flintstone vitamins."

"Where's Flintstone?"

"Next door to Tombstone."

"They make those there?" Vitamins that is.

"Sure do! Go on home Brute. Brody's back at the farm waitin' on ya. Mind helpin' Ira here one more night? I'll see if'n I can talk Dooley into sharin' yer assist."

"Yeah, I can do that." Brutus removed the tin star and handed it to Ira. "Fun while it lasted."

"I need to take a shit." Sonny Dillsby had been holding it all night, unable to reach the piss bucket. Sadie peering at the cell took the key from the desk and marched over to unlock the door. Ira drew the rifle closer just in case.

"Feel free to rush me. I dare ya!" None of the prisoners wanted pummeled. Stepping into the cell she snatched up Ned Potter who started screamin' like a baby begging not to be punched again. His swollen nose still hadn't gone down. "I figure you fellas need to stretch yer legs some. Ned, yer up first."

"Can I take a shit?" Sonny cringed holding his abdomen.

"Sure!" She tossed Ned out stumbling then grabbed Sonny by his shirt and lifted him off of his feet. The fear factor made him crap his pants. "You done?"

"Yeeessss!" Sonny was lowered but held the back of his britches. Nodding with a glare she backed out of the cell and locked it back up. Both Ira and Brutus were stunned by her ability to terrify such rough looking men. Waving her hand over her nostrils at the odor of released bowels she backed off.

"Use Redmont's shirt to wipe yer ass Sonshine!" Sonny wept! Now he had to dig out his drawers in front of everyone. "Let's walk Potter."

"Can't I stay locked up?" She drug him out of the jail by the cuff of his neck and down the street. Her plan to come back after him altered, she took him with her to the stables, kicking and screaming. Passing by the mercantile Loretta Carlyle saw how roughly she was treating Ned and gasped. It wasn't until Loretta heard Wilbur mutter, "Magnificent!" as he drooled over Sadie in passing that she swatted his belly and told him to get back to work. Back at the jail Sam Dillsby found his palms sweaty.

"What's Mae West up to?"

No good!

"Where are we goin' Mae West?"

"Maebe West! It's such a purdy day I thought we might take a ride you and me."

"Ride where? I thought I was facin' the judge."

"Oh, I'm the judge, Ned! Keep on walkin'." Across town he shuffled behind her, glad that his hands were left untied, yet fearing her so much that bolting away was not even an option. Reaching the stables Sadie entered to find Shaunesy Finn helping his brother Dooley fine tune Sadie's new saddle on an ornate level. Sneaking up on their fine leather ship talents they were branding the saddle with a hot poker bent into the shape of a female devil, big breasts and all. As they say, Devil in the details. A perfect brand Dooley cooled the iron in a water bucket and took pride in his work.

"Mornin' my Finn feathered friends."

"Feathered Lassie?" Shaunesy squinted as he looked back to see her, Potter in toe nervously peering around with tears in his eyes. "Ye here to tickle me fancy?"

"Sure!" She reached out and grabbed Shaun and Dooley's crotches. "That there my birthday present? The saddle, not these saddle horns."

"Aye!" Dooley grinned, "'Tis a work of art."

"My ass? Hell, yes, it is." She spanked herself just as Dorieann showed up and swatted Sadie's other cheek.

"Ye finally lose yer voice? We heard ye howlin' way out here last night."

"Mornin' to you too Hunky." Sadie in turn slapped Dorie's ass. Ned seeing Dorie for the very first time straightened up and smiled with gnarly teeth.

"Howdy Ma'am! I'm Ned. It is a pleasure to make yer acquaintance."

"Don't make me pucker yer lip the easy way." Dorie raised her fist. "Mind yer beeswax!"

"At ease Derby O'Gill!" Disney childhood! "Ned here is gonna lead me to that bank money."

"No, I ain't! I don't know where the Dillsby's stashed it."

"You better or yer gonna be walkin' funny fer a good long time." Sadie sneered then ignored Ned to check out her saddle. "Awww! You branded me as the devil's daughter. Yer such sweethearts! I love it! Jus' call me Diva Diablo." She shook her tits. Dorie wearing only her pull over shirt and boots, no under garment was hoping Sadie had noticed her trying to be more adventurous. Ned sure noticed, Dorie's nipples were thick and meaty behind that tan-colored shirt. He was slobbering all over himself at her cuteness. He loved redheads with braided pigtails. Big green eyes only made him melt further.

"What's in it fer me if'n I do? A kiss from Miss Hunky?"

"That's it!" Dorie punched Ned in the jaw, and he dropped to the dirt smiling. No pain no gain! Not even his already broken nose was hurting at the moment.

"You have gotta learn restraint Baby Balboa." Sadie laughed. "Fella's? Tie up ole' Ned there's hands and bring up one of the Dillsby horses."

"Can I ride out with ya Sadie?" Dorie looked hopeful, "I rolled some cigars for us."

"Oh, well in that case. You boys mind if I steal yer sister?"

"Might do the lass good to get some air." Dooley nodded his approval.

"Another thing. I know you boys have responsibilities, but Sheriff Barrett needs you boys to help Ira keep watch on the prisoners. I worry Ira might black out from his wound and those fellas might try'n escape."

"I'll do it." Dooley appointed himself, "One of us needs to be here." Shaunesy agreed and handed Dorie his box of matches for the ride. "Bring up Inferno! Ah! Forgive me lass, Tarnation." Name change dilemma!

"I got him. You go put some britches on Hunky." Sadie whistled loudly, a ruckus later Tarnation stood up in his shared stall with a filly he had hammered throughout the night and leaned over the rail to let himself out by nuzzling the gates latch. All eyes bulged at his easy escape. Trotting right up to Sadie the horse stepped over Ned in his momentary bliss and took a piss on him. Chuckling hard at his behavior Sadie bent over and dragged Ned free of his bath and allowed Shaunesy to go get rope to tie him up.

"This demon from Hades is made fer ye lass."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that. He just owes me." A pat on Tarnation's forehead, the steed knocked her hat off. "Alright now! Enough of that Brand... of horseplay." She almost called him Brandon. "You gonna let me saddle you up or are we gonna get into a fist fight? Me bein' the only one with fists I'll win, and you know it." A stomp of his hoof made her jump back. "Oh, no, you didn't!" Dorie busted a gut. Dooley grabbed the saddle and tossed it over Tarnation's back. Preparing to harness it under his belly, the horse reared up and the saddle slid down to the ground.

"Best let me do it Drooley." Sadie plucked up the saddle and threw it back over Tarnation, calming him with a rendition of George Thorogood's song One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer. Uncle Brandon loved the old school ballads of the 80's. To everyone's shock Sadie fastened the saddle perfectly without the horse objecting.

"Ye have the touch." Dooley sighed.

"Let's hope that touch ain't too much." She then recited the words to AC/DC's tune Touch too Much. Another favorite of Brandon's.

"I donae know those tunes."

"Jus' some fellas I met from Australia. Aussie Posse!"

"Ah!" She then rambled Men at Work's song Down Under. Bewildered by the lyrics Dooley offered to help her up onto Tarnation's back. He knew better as Tarnation turned and butted him aside. "I'll be prayin' for ye, Lassie L'Amour."

"Thanks! What are you waitin' for Hunky. Quit showin' Ned yer legs and grab those britches. Grab a horse while yer at it."

"Right!" Up to the loft first for pants, the girl raced for her favorite steed Banshee. Five minutes later she rode up next to Tarnation and sat ready to go. Tarnation was already flirting with this new filly.

"Will you stop sniffin' already!" She patted the horse's neckline. "Bring me Ned, Shaun." Shaunesy led him up on a third horse. "Hole up! Better idea! Bring him down Shaun." Grumbling over having just put Ned up there Shaunsey just pushed him off to land in a cloud of dust. Coughing Ned complained about brutality, having been punched, pissed on, then thrown off a horse into freefall. Dragging Potter to his feet Ned handed Sadie the other end of the lengthy rope.

"You ain't gonna make me walk all that way are ya?"

"Take his boots Shaun."

"WAIT! WHAT IS YA DOIN'?" Boots off Ned was a blubbering mess.

"Smells bad! Strip him, Shaun. Urine boy needs to dry off."

"Ain't strippin' no other man, lass." Shaunesy put his foot down.

"Yer up Hunky!"

"Say what? Me? Durn it!" Climbing down Dorieann pointed at Ned not to get frisky. Shirt removed then going for his pants Dorie faltered. "I ain't... " She wanted to admit to never seeing a man naked before but bit her tongue. As gross as Ned was, this was her chance at a look see. Dragging his drawers down she found his erection right in her face. Sucking up his tears Ned tried to step right into her and put his dick in her gaping mouth. Jerking to avoid that, his crown nearly blinded her. Clenching her teeth with a sneer Dorieann Finn drew back and punched him in the balls. To his knees he went. Face to face with her he hissed.

"Yer so purdy."

Thud!

"Straddle up Hunky Dorie."

Chuckling over it Dorieann climbed back up on Banshee and grinned at Sadie.

"He thinks I'm purdy." Smug!

"Uh huh!"

Setting Tarnation into motion humming REO Speedwagon's Riding the Storm Out, Sadie just knew she would be singing the entire trip. At least Tilly offered song suggestions that she recalled Brandon playing while they dated.

At the end of the barn, she stopped long enough to give Ned a chance to get on his feet without dragging him. Sympathy setting in she called back to Shaunesy. "Bring him his boots." Disgusted the Irishman helped Ned put his boots back on. "Keep up Potter."

"That's a lot of miles."

"Smiles too! You get to look at Dorie's ass all the way." Heels to Tarnation's ribs the horse proceeded on. Dorie blushed but found herself looking back at Ned every fifty feet or so to see if he was indeed looking. His smile was from ear to ear. Dick hard she flaired her eyes. It did remind her of something.

"Cigar?"

"Fire it up."

If there were Comanche nearby, the smoke signals were certainly clear.