Salt & Vinegar Ch. 10

This is a continuation of the Salt & Vinegar series.

We're now getting to the stage where there are enough threads that you may wish to consider reading from the start of the series - or at least from Chapter 4 - for some context. Of course, if you're just reading for the sexy bit rather than the story and character development, then feel free to skip to the last section (Justine).

Enjoy.

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LENA

Fingers of near-naked, gnarled catalpa trees playing with ghostly tendrils of mist.

[Click].

The bright gaze of the early morning orb softened to an ethereal glow by the blanket of fog.

[Click].

Jewels of dew winking in a perfect sea of manicured emerald lawn.

[Click].

Justine. Head bowed. Wisps of hair the colour of the season escaping from beneath her anorak hood and drifting in the cool fall air.

[Click].

The plaque on its concrete plinth glistening with moisture from nature's nightly blessing. An echo of the tears we had shed, and which still threatened to flow even now.

'Christina Louise Anderson (1987 - 2013)', it read, with the simple epitaph 'Much Loved'.

[Click].

I sighed as I let my camera hang from the strap around my neck.

Oh, Chrissie.

A week after our wedding (see Chapter 9), we'd received a call from a distraught Angelica. Chrissie had been riding pillion behind a guy on a motorcycle. A fucking truck driver had run a red light at speed through an intersection. They were both killed instantly. A small mercy for her, I guess, though not for her family. Nor for me.

She was my best friend, not counting Jus. We'd been friends since high school. We'd done everything together. We'd even done each other on occasion. Not as a regular thing, or even a serious one. Just that, like me, Chrissie loved sex and fun with her often meant a good fuck. More importantly, she'd introduced me to Justine. Chrissie was my friend, but Jus was my life.

On the morning after our wedding, Jus and I had given Chrissie a sort of farewell fuck. A thanks for being a friend and a promise that we wouldn't forget her even though we were now married and lived in another city. Her last words to us as she got into the cab to go to the airport were, "Don't forget to visit me, bitches!" And of course, we'd said we wouldn't. We kept that promise. Every year, we visited her here around the anniversary of her death.

This year, Paul and Angelica had invited us back to San Diego for Thanksgiving. We'd shared a great couple of days before saying goodbye after an early breakfast. We'd detoured to Poway at the start of the return drive to San Francisco to pay our respects. Chrissie's family had been in the area for generations, so she'd been interred out here rather than in San Diego.

There was something incongruous about the peace and beauty of early morning here in the memorial park.

Or perhaps not. Maybe it was nature's way of reminding us that, while humanity lived in a brief, bright instant, the world went on in its unchanging seasons in a terrible, uncaring permanence of glory and majesty. This silent, beautiful dawn a foil to the grief in my heart; as fresh now as four years ago.

Justine must have been reflecting similarly, for she quoted softly as she knelt and placed a blood-red rose at the base of the plinth.

"I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.

A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew, a formula, a phrase remains — but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love — they are gone. They are gone to feed the roses.

Elegant and curled is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.

More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world."

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JUSTINE

The words just came to mind. They seemed to go with the rose. I wasn't angry; I wasn't grief-stricken - at least, not anymore. The words just seemed to express the sense of melancholy and futility I felt when I thought about the tragedy of Chrissie's life cut short.

Humans are self-centred creatures. We see everything through the lens of our own self-interest. We interpret everything with reference to ourselves as though we were the centre of the universe and everything exists for us. And then we feel hurt, angry, aggrieved, outraged when something happens to upset our comfortable existence. Something that doesn't seem fair, or just, or right according to our reckoning. As though the universe cares about the feelings of an individual member of a single species on a tiny rock in a corner of a single galaxy amongst trillions.

I still shared the faith of my parents and I believed in more than random time and chance. But it didn't take away the deep sadness of loss. Maybe it isn't meant to. Perhaps there is a lesson in that I am still to learn.

For now, I choose to remember and cherish the memory of the friend I had. Chrissie may be gone, but she still lives on in my heart. And in Lena's. And in many others. A woman of joy, charm, exuberance and generosity with a lust for life and - let's face it - a lust for sex.

Lena's voice broke into my reflections.

"Do you reckon the family meant the innuendo in that?"

"Don't think so", I laughed. "Chrissie would have appreciated it though."

She was definitely 'much loved'. By her family and friends, certainly, but also as a willing and enthusiastic participant in many sexual encounters. Her appetite was on a par with Lena's. Unlike Lena, her sexual adventures were invariably episodes of light-hearted fun and frivolity. In contrast, many of Lena's partners tended to suffer emotional collateral damage.

"Sorta glad that we were the last ones to give her 'much love'", she said.

"You can't be sure that we were, though. She might have hooked up with any number of guys within that week. Probably did you know. Even that guy she was on the bike with."

"True, but I like to think we were anyway. And we did her good."

I heard the smile in her voice as she remembered.

"We did, didn't we?"

Lena tucked an arm around my waist and put her head on my shoulder.

"I miss her, babe", she whispered.

"I know. I miss her too. There wouldn't have been an 'us' without her."

"Yeah."

The sun won the battle against the morning mist and the light brightened to the accompaniment of bird song.

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LENA

The crunch of wheels pulling off the asphalt onto the verge of the lawn. I turned to see a big-ass pickup slowing to a stop opposite where we stood at Chrissie's grave.

The passenger side door opened, and it took me a moment to recognise the woman who got out. I'd last seen her at a café in San Diego when I'd told her our brief thing was over (see Chapter 4). Gone was the goth: Beth looked for all the world like a fucking soccer mom. No surprise when she turned to open the back door of the dual cab and let out a couple of kids. A boy scrambled out with all the uncontained energy of a dog let off a leash and Beth made a fast grab for the back of his shirt. A younger girl followed, still a little unsteady on legs getting use to walking. One kid secured in each hand, Beth walked over the lawn toward us.

I nudged Jus. "Company."

"Oh?"

She turned and it was obvious she didn't recognise her.

"Beth", I said.

"Who? No way!"

Beth walked up to us, smiling. The boy looked up at us curiously. The girl hid shyly behind her mother's leg.

"Long time", she said. "Hello, you two."

Justine went forward and gave her a hug.

"Good to see you, Beth. You're looking really well. And who do we have here?"

"These are my children, Justin and Christine."

Justine went down on her haunches and held her hand out to the boy.

"Hi there. I'm Justine."

"I know, Mom's told me. I'm Justin and I'm four. I'm going to be big and strong like my Dad."

"I'm sure you are!"

She peered around Beth's legs and gave the girl a friendly smile.

"Hello, do you want to say hi too. It would be a shame to hide such a pretty smile."

Her face peeped out although she remained behind the protecting leg. She looked like a miniature version of Beth.

"Hewwo. My name is Kwisteen and I'm almost fwee."

"Very pleased to meet you."

She gave her hand to Justine to hold together with a little smile.

"Mom, I wanna go play. We've been in the car for ages!"

"Alright, Justin, you can run around but you must stay where you can see me. And remember this is a cemetery so you must be respectful."

"OK, Mom." And he dashed off like a fucking rocket.

"Boys", sighed Beth. "I wish I had half his energy!"

"So ...", I said. "Justin and Christine?"

"Yeah, Rick and I have been married for four years now. When Justin came along, he said he wanted to make an honest woman out of me. I said I wanted to wait until I fit in a dress properly! So we did it a few months after he was born. Christine followed, ahem, not that long after".

"You've been busy!"

"Gosh, yes." She coloured as she realised what I meant. "Well, and that, but the kids are a handful, aren't you princess?" Beth looked down fondly at her daughter.

"Not a handful. I'm fwee. Almost."

"Hah. That you are, little girl. And shy, like your father. Speaking of which, where is that darned man!?"

She waved to the truck.

"Honestly, I told him you'd be happy to meet him and there was nothing to worry about."

The driver's side door opened and the biggest fucking guy I've ever seen slowly emerged like a bear out of a den. He closed the door with deliberation and ambled slowly over to us. I swear I could feel tremors in the ground with each step. He wasn't fat. Pure muscle and built like a fucking barn. And a face like the barn door.

"C'mon, honey! Come meet the girls!"

Close up, he was even bigger. The man was a mountain. I studied his face and relaxed as I got a read. He might be a giant, but this guy was a lamb.

"Rick, this is Justine and Lena that you've heard me talk so much about."

"Howdy."

A deep rumble. A paw extended. A firm, but surprisingly gentle grip. This guy knew his strength and was careful with it.

He shook hands with Justine too, who was looking a little nervous.

"Dad, wanna pick up!" Christine held her arms up and Rick hoisted her into the air and onto his shoulders. He moseyed off in search of his son with the girl shrieking wildly and happily.

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JUSTINE

I was actually a little frightened by the size of the man. But Lena appeared relaxed. I shot her a glance and she gave me a smile and a nod. Alright then.

A handshake with a palm that could have held both of my hands with ease. A single word and a crooked, bashful grin and then he was off with the children.

"A man of few words", I observed.

"He is that", said Beth. "He's more talkative once he gets to know people, but even so doesn't say much."

"Spends his time with you doing other things?" smirked Lena.

"Well, um ...", she coloured. Which I interpreted as a positive admission.

"Anyways, it's really great to see you", she said, changing the subject.

"We're about to head back. We've been down in San Diego for Thanksgiving, but we live in San Francisco now. We just stopped in to see Chrissie before we left. Four years: it goes so fast."

"We come across every year, and I'm sorry we haven't met up before now. I didn't make it to the funeral. Well, I was in labour, so I couldn't; but I actually didn't find out about her death until weeks afterwards. But we come every year to visit. She was so good to me ... that night ... and afterwards. Just like you both. I really never thanked you for it, you know."

A shy smile and another blush.

"I hope you don't mind. It was going to be Justine if it was a girl, but we named him Justin. And Christine obviously after Chrissie."

Lena grinned at me. I hadn't made the connection. I was stunned. And a bit embarrassed.

"I, ah, don't mind at all. I'm flattered."

"You both really rescued me. And I'll never forget it. I was just so glad to escape from Stacy. And now I have Rick."

I looked across to where the kids were running rings around him.

"I might go and give Rick a hand with the munchkins and you two can catch up."

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LENA

Justine gave me a smile and a pat on the shoulder then trotted off to where the rest of Beth's family was playing.

What the fuck was that? Did she think I needed closure or something with Beth? I didn't really, but thanks anyway, Jus.

"So, you two still together then?"

"Yeah", I said and held up my left hand to show my rings.

"No way! You're married now!?"

"Yep. Four years. The week before Chrissie's accident actually. It was the last time we saw her."

"Oh no, that's terrible! The timing, I mean, not the wedding."

"Yeah, although we're grateful we got to see her. We would have felt awful if we'd heard the news after not having seen her for a while."

"I know what you mean. I felt really bad about missing the funeral, although I couldn't really help it. She kept in touch with me, you know, after I left San Diego. Never saw her again, but she'd call me every so often to see how I was doing. I'd send her cards at Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"She was good like that. With her friends."

This was getting maudlin.

"So, how did you meet Rick?"

"After you gave me the brush off - no hard feelings - I left San Diego. I was a bit of a mess. No real plan, just headed east. Found myself in a roadside bar near Tucson. Was crying into my beer when this huge guy parked himself on the stool next to me and just sat there. Didn't talk, just sat, but it felt comfortable you know? Ended up pouring my guts out to him and the rest is history."

I chuckled to myself. The mountain obviously had a thing for stray kittens.

"What's he do? Mining?"

He looked like he could do it as a one-man operation.

"No, his family owns a ranch. Cattle."

"Pity the horse!"

"Hah! No, they don't use horses much these days. Bikes and helicopters mostly."

"I bet he's hung like a horse, though." I gave her a nudge with my elbow.

Again, with the blush.

"Um, yeah."

I laughed.

"Good for you, Beth. Really glad it all worked out."

"Me too. Funny how life goes isn't it? One day your world's ending and the next you're happier than you can believe. It goes the other way too, I guess."

"True enough."

I reflected on the light and dark in my own life as I watched Justine and Rick in the distance with the kids. Looked like they were playing statues. And having a great time. I felt a moment of envy and recalled the discussion we'd had at her parents' place. This was one of the things I couldn't give her. Or maybe ...

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JUSTINE

Lena had been silent for a while in the car. I'd thought she'd fallen asleep but, when I glanced across at her as I drove, she was staring out the windshield with a crease between her brows. Darned girl looks hot even when she's frowning!

"Something on your mind, babe?"

"You want kids, Jus?"

Well, that came out of nowhere!

"Where'd that come from? Oh, Beth's kids this morning?"

"Yeah. You looked like you were having fun."

"I was. Reminded me of playing with Jackson when he was young."

"You're good with kids, you know. Seen it a couple of times now."

I thought about it. I did like kids. But did I want some of my own? How would that even work?

"Maybe we could adopt", suggested Lena. "I don't like the idea of having some random guy's donated jizz implanted in one of us. It would be only half our child."

I wasn't sure about that either.

"I could have surgery", she mused. "Often wondered what it would be like to have a real dick. Wouldn't want to lose my vag though, so I'd have to have both. Hey, you'd get the best of both worlds, Jus!"

I certainly wasn't sold on that idea!

"Ah, thanks for the offer, babe, but I like you just the way you are. Don't want some added appendage and a bunch of male hormones ruining your gorgeous curves."

"You sure? I'm not really that fucking keen on it either to be honest, but I'd do it for you if you wanted."

I looked at her. She was serious. Wow.

"No, really, it's OK. But thanks. I think?"

She chuckled.

"Interesting to know how it would work though. Could I get off with both my cock and my cunt? Like, two orgasms at once? Fucking hell!"

"Not sure that's how it works. Besides, don't you get enough already? I'm exhausted keeping up with you as it is. If I had to service you twice as much ... I mean, holy shit!"

She roared with laughter this time.

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LENA

Fun to fantasise, but no way was I keen for a fucking sex change. I liked cock in me, but I didn't really want one as part of me. Fortunately, it seemed Jus didn't either. I returned to the original question.

"Seriously though, babe. Would you like a kid?"

She didn't say anything for a while as she thought it over. The miles ticked by.

"What do you think?" she finally asked. "How would you feel about it?"

With the question directed back at me, I wasn't sure either. I was an only child and my childhood hadn't been great. I had no real frame of reference for what good parenting looked like. But I saw how Jus was with those kids and I felt like she should have that opportunity in her life.

Was I prepared to share her? There was the fucking rub. I wanted her to be happy, but I also wanted her all to myself. Did my selfishness outweigh her happiness? Of course not, but still ...

Would I lose part of her? Inevitably I would. She would lose some of me, too. And bloody hell, we couldn't just fuck all around the apartment like we did now. We couldn't have a kid in our tiny apartment anyway. We'd have to upsize.

Benefits? Other than for Jus, what about for me? Shit, I didn't really see myself as a parent. That was a hell of a lot of responsibility. I had trouble looking after myself, let alone someone else. But maybe you learned more about yourself as you cared for others. I thought back to when Jus had come out of hospital. Yeah, I'd grown. I could do more stuff now. I was more confident about some things. I was probably - no, I was - a better person for having been forcibly shifted out of my solely self-oriented life.

So maybe this was a challenge that would be good for both of us. Difficulties, yes, but benefits too. And Jus's happiness, of course. And I loved happy Jus. Well, I loved all of Jus, but Jus being happy was the most wonderful thing in the world.

She was watching me out of the corner of her eye as she drove. I smiled at her.

"You know, I think I'd like it. We'd need a bigger place and we'd need to make some changes, but it could work."

She smiled back.

"OK, let's give it some more thought then."

Which wasn't a 'yes', but it wasn't a 'no' either. Justine never rushed her decisions. She always thought them through, especially big ones. I'd planted the seed - metaphorically anyway. She would decide whether to let it grow.

We received another nudge when we got home. Our neighbour, Tom, knocked on the door a couple of days later to let us know he and Barb were moving into a retirement home where Barb could get better care. Her condition had deteriorated, and their family had discussed it over Thanksgiving and come to the decision.

"I'm not unhappy", said Tom. "We got longer than we'd originally thought. And it'll definitely be easier on me. I'm not getting any younger either! I also wanted to let you know in case you wanted first refusal on our apartment. Ours is larger than yours. Have yourselves a bit more space for not much more cost on the lease I'd say. We know the owner and I think he'd be willing to give you a good deal if you wanted it."

They planned to move in about a month. We thanked him and said we'd let him know shortly.