Sam's Mistake Ch. 02

"That I might actually say yes to." Even the idea of slapping him turned me on. It could also mitigate some of the shame. Might be his best idea yet, honestly.

"You know, we as humans are more likely to say yes after saying it three consecutive times in a row, did you know that?"

I rolled my eyes, such a Ph.D. thing to say. "I did not."

"Ok, so this smacking around deal. No drawing blood, no hitting my 'swimsuit' area, and no hair grabbing. Unless you're grabbing my hair while I feast on your p-"

"Watch it!" I snapped and flashed him a scornful look. We were close now, faces almost touching. Something had changed between us, I realize as I look at him. The energy between us somehow shifted.

"What's with you and the word pussy," he mocked, pronouncing 'pussy' with extra emphasis on the 'p.'

The question unnerves me, and I scoot away to put some much-needed distance between us.

"Nothing, it's fine." I swallowed my water hard. "I just don't like it when guys go down on me." Christ, how did this guy always pull these confessions from me?

"What?!" He exclaimed, leaning away from me like I'm suddenly a biohazard. If I knew it was that easy to gain some distance, I would've started this conversation very differently. "Why? Honestly, that could be a deal-breaker. No way I could be near your pussy and not eat the living fuck out of it."

I frowned, not knowing if that statement was supposed to make me feel anything but disgust. "How charming," I added.

"What's your issue with it? I have to know, as someone who researches psychology."

Why did I say anything? What will it take to for me to shut up? I blush again, thinking of a lie to come up with. The truth is too embarrassing.

"Guys aren't that good at it." I blurted out. The one answer I now realize will continue this line of questioning. Fuck.

"Sounds like a challenge."

"It's not. And besides, why would that be a deal-breaker? Vaginas are gross, isn't it a relief you don't have to go face first into it? Does any guy actually enjoy it? I genuinely don't understand the appeal of vaginas. The very thought of mine turns me off. I feel sorry for any guy who has to look at it." I paused, only now realizing I had those thoughts and, with it, a very heartfelt rant.

"Okay," Jake practically announces with a hand up like he's annoyed, "one, vaginas are not gross; they are amazing and beautiful. Two, Just thinking about your pussy gets me harder than a slab of granite. Three, it's not a relief because after feeling yours and being inside it, I don't think I could live with myself if I never put my mouth on it."

I bit back another smile; I don't know how something could be so vulgar and charming at the same time. "Well, I guess you're going to die then." Although he has me deeply curious about this, I can't fuck Jake again. I can't. It's wrong and shameful and wrong.

"Did you know that our disgust levels lower considerably when we're turned on? It's how fetishes start." He added like he didn't hear what I just said. Except, that is about on par with him.

I widened my eyes and moved my shoulders, ramping up the monotone sarcasm. "You are a cesspool of random facts." I deadpanned. Ugh, academics, always dropping facts in conversations because they have to be the smartest person in the room.

"If you're turned on enough, you might not fight me when I go for it." He countered.

"This is assuming I even let you near it." I shot back, hoping that would finally shut him up.

"I'm pretty close right now." He looked down while biting his lip. I kept my outward cool except for my blushing cheeks betraying me.

"I have several layers of clothing on." Where is Maddy with my drink? I texted her no less than 16 years ago.

"Don't underestimate what a man will do to get in a girl's pants." Body turned toward mine, he leaned away to rake his eyes over me for the hundredth time. I couldn't bear to face him while he sat with some wanton look and 'fuck me' body language. I settled for staring straight ahead with zero expression.

In the silence, my curiosity tugged at me and wouldn't let go. A burning question that had to be asked. After all, Jake is unflinchingly honest. "So, what would you do to get in my pants?"

He narrowed his eyes at me and thought about it. Unable to stop myself, I turned my head and waited for his response. "Doesn't work like that. You ask me, I'll do it," he countered.

I nodded, pretending to be deep in thought while my request circled around. "Would you, I don't know... kiss Lucas?" I suggested, casually shrugging my shoulders.

"Yep," he shook the empty beer can, tipped it back to until the can was empty, and slammed it down. "Where is that pretty motherfucker? Our lips have a date." He shot up from the seat, eyes searching the dancefloor. I reached for his arm and pulled him down to sit again with a forceful yank.

"Jesus, do not kiss Lucas." I rolled my eyes while letting a laugh escape.

His eyes fixated on the point where we touched, then darted those green eyes up at me. The playfully suggestive eyebrow raise made the walls of my sex twitch. In a moment of clarity, I saw how he went about breaking my defenses. Not all at once, not in an overt way. Rather, he chipped away at it with near deliberate leisure. I didn't see they were unstable and razor-thin until we touched. Until we locked eyes with a silent understanding.

"Did you break up with that boyfriend? The one who couldn't make you come?"

I pulled my hands away, his question snapping me back to reality. "Why?" My voice struck a defensive edge. Whatever moment we had fizzled and crashed like the Lindenberg. Bringing him up not only killed any sexual desire but also sent a jolt of guilt.

And while I contemplate lying, I'm certain his mission to rail me again wouldn't be derailed with either answer.

"Is he the reason why you don't like your pussy?" Jake pressed, the heat of his body barely warming my arm like a patio heater. I felt cold where his body wasn't close to mine, yet way too hot on the parts that hovered by his skin.

Without meaning to, I held in a breath. "No," I said, mentally telling myself to shut the hell up and not offer any details.

"Were his skills lacking? Subpar technique? Tongue swirling aimlessly with zero idea where to go?" I squirmed again, nervous at his questioning like this was a court of law. I felt like I might break under the pressure, blurting out the real reason because just saying it in one fell swoop would be easier than tip-toeing around the truth.

"He never tried." I gritted out, reminding myself not to crack. But to do that, I seriously needed a beer. I glanced at my phone, hoping I'd missed a response from Maddy about my request. And to my utter relief, I had. She replied 20 minutes ago, saying she's waiting in the long line. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. Surely the line had moved in the past 20 minutes.

"Did he tell you it was gross?" He pressed, "by 'it' I mean you p-"

"No," I snapped, "I mean, yes. Kinda. Whatever, he and I are done, and I don't want to talk about him." I bit my lower lip to stop myself from the dreaded flow of word vomit dangerously close to spilling. I knew he wouldn't let this go, but my pride had to be stronger than his persistence.

I could be confident about that... I think.

Either way, my small rant quieted Jake, much to my relief. I take the silence as a moment to relax and let my chest sink like a deflated balloon. Clearing that bloated elephant was a release I didn't know I needed. I breathed a long exhale.

"What do you want?" He asked outright, breaking the silence. That is the eternal question, isn't it? What do any of us want? But he didn't mean out of life. And what I wanted sat on the tip of my tongue, waiting with great patience. For now.

What do I want? You, naked on a bed. Your cock pounding away at my sanity. Your mouth hot on my skin, your hands gripping my hips while filthy words fly out of our mouths. Doesn't have to be in that order; I just fucking want you.

Maybe some beer too.

I eased my head back on the booth and slumped down, defeated after my brian had tossed aside all the shame. Thinking about that stupid fuckboy I dated infuriated me. Why did I put up with him for as long as I did? Why should I feel shame for having sex with someone else?

And more than that, I was tired of feeling such a useless emotion. I was tired of thinking about Jake all the time and, most important, tired of resisting him. I looked over to meet his eyes, the ones already gazing down at me with curious interest.

"Your mouth," I responded, clearing any remaining guilt. Fuck it, I thought. I'll worry about the consequences later.

He leaned down, his hand moving up my thigh until it pressed into the apex of my thighs. His thumb rested on my mound while the rest of his hand firmly slid along the seam between the legs of my jeans.

"Where?" He asked in a low, husky tone while his mouth hovered just above mine.

"My mouth," I said with more confidence than I knew I had. His lips gently brushed against mine, then paused as our breaths hovered there. Putting more pressure on the seam of my jeans, our breathing picked up, sharp inhales and long exhales. I covered his lips with mine, begging them for atonement, for this not to be a mistake. In response, he greeted my mouth with slow movements, tasting with measured curiosity. The rhythmic pace easing all my worry as we dragged out kisses, adding in soft bites and nibbles.

The music faded into silence and melted away. There was just us, just this kiss. The crowd, the noise, the city dropped from existence--our mouths coaxing each other to life the only reality. And the scorching heat from his hand methodically moving up and down between my jeans.

A faint glint of the material world buzzed in my ears. The music crept up, and with it, humanity. Specifically the people here that could be watching us right now. I knew we needed to stop, or at least dial it back. Not only could Maddy be rounding up those stairs at any moment, but I also didn't want to be those people. The types of people who put their sexual goals in full public view.

But Jesus, his skilled hand and well-formed mouth made stopping near impossible. With our mouths still fastened, I peaked at an empty staircase and zero audience. I hoped to hell this dim lighting camouflaged our distasteful public show. Although considering the type of people who frequented this bar, I imagine the poor vinyl booth we sat on had experienced much worse. I imagine it would smoke a cigarette with a shaky, aged hand while recounting the depraved memories.

His hand pressed into the seam with a new urgency, commanding my attention once again. My cheeks burned when a whimper escaped my mouth. Somehow, letting him know his effect on me was a blow to my pride. "Stop," I breathed and gripped his arm with a tight fist.

"Stop what?" He asked with an impish grin, running his tongue along the seam of my lips. For someone who is getting a Ph.D., he sure needed things spelled out like an idiot.

His hand simply continued while I tried to form more specific words. "That," I gritted out through my teeth, "stop that."

"This?" He taunted. His smiling at my protests made this more vulgar and illicit. Like a tango danced by two people whose flexible legs tangled into between each move. Watching it felt like voyeurism, something completely forbidden, yet you can't look away.

"Yes, that. Your hand." I clipped.

Voices and laughter boomed in the background. My body reverted to clenching every muscle, shutting Jake out. I shoved his hand away and sat up straight, composing myself while I drank water in oversized gulps. I set the glass down, let air into my lungs and hope my cheeks return to a normal color. In my lap, Jake's hand is camped out like it was waiting for the next curtain call. I specifically remember pushing that hand away... but maybe there is an even darker corner we can continue this game of "Who Comes First."

"My place is close." He whispered, the words brushing against my skin in one long stroke.

In an ideal world, we would be shoving people aside to get the hell out of here. In reality, I was still here with my friends. "What about Katie and Lucas? And Maddy?"

"Katie and Lucas will not miss us," he said in an emphatic tone, "Maddy, I can't speak for. What's her deal?"

"Not sure," I shrugged while hiding my irritation about Maddy being staunchly anti-men at this point in her life. I mean, I am too, but she has taken it to a new level. It would be admirable if it weren't highly inconvenient for me right now. "But she is single, and I don't want to leave her here when she's drinking."

He sighed with a defeated head nod, "Maddy seems cool, but right now, she's a real cock block." We were on the same page, something that was becoming a frequent occurrence. I snapped away thoughts of reading into that. It means nothing. That stuff only means something in romance books and romcoms.

I licked my lips and pulled my hair to one side, soothing the uncomfortable edginess pumping through me. Jake's hot breath grazed my ear lobe, the rough stubble on his chin scraping against my jaw. My eyelids fluttered, the mix of sensations like a drug.

"Do you know how hot it is when you do that?" He asked against my skin.

"No," I said, looking at my nails, "but just out of curiosity, what does it make you want to do?"

He bit my ear lobe, trailing his tongue along the edge. This time, I remained calm and stoic as he continued to hover over the delicate skin of my neck. "It makes me want to suck on your neck while I'm deep inside you, just before you come all over my cock."

I nodded, picking at a hangnail then staring straight ahead like he was telling me about his day or the weather.

"Tell me what you like about eating .... Out." I went for my glass of water, only to find it as empty as the courage I had to hear his answer. Instead, I grabbed his beer and took a drink. If I was going to do this, if we were going to drag it out, I might as well make it count.

"Mmmmm," he growled and started moving his hand between my legs again. I kept staring, set on keeping my composure no matter what his hands could do. "I don't like it; I fucking love it. The taste, the texture, how it looks, smells, feels in my mouth. I bet you have the sweetest cunt I've ever tasted. I'm rock hard just thinking about your legs wrapped around my head like ear muffs while I feast."

"I see," I nodded again, "what if there's a lot of... wetness?"

His whole body pressed against me, the warmth of his body like a blanket I wanted to fall into. "Fuck," he growled, "please don't tell me you can ejaculate too. I'll suffer brain damage when all the blood goes straight to my cock."

"Okay, I definitely do not do that." I took another drink of this beer, swallowing the deep embarrassment swelling inside me. That small - and sometimes not so small -- detail wasn't something I shared willingly. In fact, it's only mentioned when I apologize after it happens. After a sex partner freaked out and recoiled, I just hoped to hell my body would hold it in next time. Obviously wasn't a problem with the previous guy.

When fucking on Jake's desk, it was a genuine fear.

"I'm 10 seconds away from getting under this table and assaulting your clit with my tongue." My face burned red hot at his words. Although highly unfeasible with my jeans on, the offer to try was tempting.

He placed an open-mouthed kiss on my throat while stroking me again. What would sex be like if I didn't have to worry about it? There was a time I didn't know I ... gushed, but it was so long ago. My stomach knotted as I pondered sex without fear of judgment.

And that simple curiosity highlighted the unbearable truth that we were not naked, trying our damndest to make each other come. Every moment not dedicated to accomplishing that goal was a waste of time.

Like a straight pin to our inflated sex balloon, Maddy rounded up the stairs, making a graceful beeline for our table. I watched her, noticing a considerable amount of new volume to her hair along with a frayed halo all around it. Not to mention the sheen of sweat over her cheeks and chest.

She set the beers down in front of Jake and me and plopped down. Before us were two Tecate's with lime. I scooped mine up and took a long drink.

Maddy furrowed her brow as I swallowed. "What's your deal?" She tilted her chin up at me.

"What's yours?" I shot back. "You look ravaged."

She shrugged with a sigh, the faintest grin on her mouth. "Eh, danced with some guy I met at the bar. He was very handsy, but I'm not mad about it."

"Was he hot?" I asked, making Jake's grip tighten on my thigh before he coughed. The corner of my mouth tugged upwards at his reaction.

"He's ok I guess, but I think I want to leave without his company. I'm sure Katie and Lucas want to leave too. They look like they uh, have some sexual tension." She raised her eyebrows at the last part. Was Maddy now picking up on the silent clues? Now that I wasn't sending them? We would be discussing this later, I decided.

"Great, let's go," Jake urged, "this bar is tired." He stood up, the absence of his warmth leaving goosebumps on my forearms.

"We still have to finish our beers and wait for Katie and Lucas," I responded, raising my beer can in a toast.

"I have to pee," Maddy announced, picking up her phone and sighing as she glanced at it, "the line is probably long as hell. I'll meet you guys outside."

Jake and I looked at each other when Maddy headed down the steps. Reaching down, he grabbed his beer and proceeded to guzzle it like a damn camel. I wasn't sure if it was sexy or disgusting. Maybe it can be both.

Either way, the showmanship inspired me. I downed the rest of my beer and slammed the empty can down.

"Jesus, you might be perfect." He sighed with a slight head shake. His hand extends out, offering to help me up. Knowing the beer might hit me as I stand, I take his help. I'm into him as I stand, bumping into his chest as his hand steadied me. Or kept me pressed into his erection.

Our mouths met, seemingly without effort, for another playful kiss. And as much as I enjoyed kissing him, I'd had enough public foreplay. The fun in teasing and flirting turned to into a flat-out annoying game. I placed all that frustration, that discontent, into a pointed shove. Yet, my fingers still gripped his shirt as we separated our bodies, somehow still needing some form of contact. Aware of this, I let go and made a beeline to the exit, Jake close on my heels.

Outside, Lucas and Katie were, as Maddy said, clearly needing to release some sexual tension. They stood chest to chest, touching and giggling without little regard to the crowd. They straightened up a bit when Jake and I cleared our throats but still had wide, giddy smiles plastered on their faces.

"Want to go back to our place? We have beer," Lucas offered.

Jake and Katie nodded, and by sheer force of peer pressure, so did I. A small shock caught in my chest. By going to their apartment, it was the next step towards being alone with Jake. Probably naked. The anticipation churned in my stomach.

We all talked and laughed and joked as we meandered to their apartment. It seemed to go on forever, yet it felt like time had rushed past me when we got there.

Jake held the door open for everyone as we entered the apartment building. Behind Katie and Lucas, I walked up the worn and warped steps to the second floor. Jake's hand cupped my ass on the way, causing me to swallow a gasp of surprise.

I turned my head to give me a scolding look, only to be disarmed by his quick eyebrow raise and half-smile.

This stupid-fucking-cute-cocky-jackass. I bit back a smile when he did it again while waiting for Lucas to open their apartment door.