Sandalwood Pt. 01

"Mr. G?" Maya squinted across the crowded pub, peering at the scruffy guy toward the end of the bar. In front of him were two empty bottles and he was working on a third, his eyes glazed as he tried to peel the labels off the first two between sips. He didn't hear her so she moved closer. "Cole Gundersen?"

Cole looked up, startled and wondering who found him here. He tried to focus his hazy gaze on the slim Indian woman with deep-set eyes quizzically looking at him. I know her, he thought. Is she a parent? His confusion showed up so clearly on his face that Maya answered the questions he didn't ask out loud.

"I'm sure you don't remember me. I'm Maya Kumar... you taught my boys Manav and Tejas maybe seven or eight years ago when they were each in grade two. Manav was in your online class during the pandemic and Tejas got to be with you in person the next year." Her rosy lips turned up in a small smile and Cole instantly regretted getting blitzed tonight. She was not what he needed right now.

***Eight years earlier***

Cole set up under the gazebo in the park with his first aid kit, paper towels, snacks and water. He ran his fingers through his chestnut brown hair and then absentmindedly stroked his trim beard trying to recall if he'd forgotten to bring anything his students would need.

The last Friday of the month was his favourite day, when he invited his second-graders to play in the park together in the morning, and watch a movie during online class in the afternoon. No work, nothing to mark, and his chance to see those awesome kids.

Everyone wondered why he chose to teach elementary school when his hockey career fizzled before it started. At six feet and 190 lbs, he was not the kind one would think would love teaching basic math and writing skills to little kids. But kids were way better than adults. They were simple, smart, and pulled out the funniest one-liners when he least expected it.

Speaking of kids, he thought, pulling out his phone and opening a shot of 4-month-old Isabel, god, I never get tired of looking at this little queen. Life was good. Scratch that, life was amazing. He had a steady job, a beautiful new baby, and a fantastic marriage.

At 34, he finally felt like he had his life together. Janice would text him pics of them throughout the day to keep him occupied in his lonely portable. He couldn't wait for the pandemic to subside so he could teach his students without a computer screen and not be afraid to hold his baby at the end of the day as well.

As the kids showed up to the park one by one, he got them engaged in a game of freeze tag. The weather was warmer now in late May so they didn't have to bother with winter coats and boots to battle the Canadian cold. Some parents dropped their kids off, some stayed. He bet Maya Kumar would be staying when she brought her son, Manav.

He was right. Not many women were a vision in jeans and a t-shirt, but he couldn't help but feel a little stirred whenever she showed up for their monthly class playdates. She was petite but curvy with round hips that swayed with every step. Her jet-black hair framed her heart-shaped face, and was cut in long layers reaching to the middle of her back, making her look both sexy and like a bit of a rock star.

She could have done with a couple more inches of height, but 5'5" suited her just fine. She couldn't have been more than 130 lbs, Cole thought. She walked Manav over to the field where the little guy promptly caught up with his friends, everyone masked, after which she sat down on the picnic bench beside him.

"How's life treating you, Mr. G?" she asked. "How's the baby sleeping now?"

"Oh, this baby is not sleeping," he replied, closing his eyes and trying not to think about how they burned.

"Bet you ten bucks she's starting to teethe. Hold on because this is where you're really going to need to support your wife. When Manav was teething he woke up 10 times a night, no exaggeration. I was at my wit's end and my husband had to move out of our bedroom because he got sick from barely sleeping."

"And you?" Cole arched an eyebrow. "As little as he was sleeping, you were probably sleeping less."

"I was in the trenches," she shrugged. "It was a phase and it lasted four months, but I had to be there for the baby. Luckily I didn't get sick but it was probably the hardest period I ever pushed through."

Cole wondered about Maya's husband. He asked questions at parent-teacher interviews that didn't make it seem like he cared for his son's schooling at all, wondering why certain things were important and why Manav had to learn them. Other than that, the guy was never around. It was always Maya guiding Manav through online assignments and staying with the child during class playdates. Which Cole didn't mind at all; she was sweet and it was nice to have another adult to chat with while the kids ran around.

"I wouldn't do that to Janice," he said, maybe a bit too forwardly.

"Ya think so, don't you?" Cole looked over at her and noticed the corners of her dark chocolate eyes crinkling from her smile beneath her face mask. "The truth is, Mr. G, you don't know what you're going to do until you're actually in that situation. It was a practical decision. I was still on mat leave and he had to go to work the next day. Hopefully your little girl will take it easier on the two of you and you won't have to choose between your spouse and your sanity."

"I would always pick my spouse," he replied, his eyes returning to the field.

"She's a lucky woman then," Maya said softly, her eyes looking outward as well.

***Present day***

"Making the most of your Saturday night, I see," Maya smiled. He was still cute, she thought, peering into Cole's speckled hazel eyes. A few gray strands had made their way into his brown hair and beard, but to be fair so had several through her black locks. She could make out the curve of his biceps through the baggy hoodie he wore, and he had just a touch of a belly now. But gosh, he was still more than cute. And clearly broken. "What's the occasion?"

"My ex-wife's wedding to the guy I caught her in bed with," he replied flatly. Maya stopped midway in raising herself into the barstool beside him, then caught the bartender and asked him to change her order to stay.

"I..."

"No, you don't have to say anything. 'I'm sorry' isn't right because at least I'm done with her forever, and 'you're kidding,' isn't right because the fuck I'm not." He caught himself. "Sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"No, you're entitled to still be angry," Maya said, noticing the dent in his finger where his wedding ring used to be. "That's awful, and you didn't deserve it. You were always a good teacher and an even better man. My kids certainly always thought so." The bartender put her sweet potato fries in front of her and she pushed them toward Cole. "Want to soak up some of that booze and tell me about it?" Cole let out a heavy sigh.

"Why not, I mean, I keep running over it in my head anyway." On a sober night he'd have thought whether it would be appropriate to be social with a parent of kids he taught, even if he'd taught them almost a decade ago. But not tonight.

He took a fry and told Maya about coming home on a half-day his wife forgot to mark on the calendar, and finding her with his buddy. In his house, in his bed, he kept thinking. "I didn't even do anything. I walked in, I saw them, she jumped out of bed totally starkers, and I went back out and just kept walking in circles around the neighbourhood not knowing what world I was in anymore.

"Then I went to pick up my daughter from school like I was on autopilot. Realized instantly why my wife--sorry, my ex--decided to keep her an only child. I wondered for years if I hadn't helped enough or if I'd let Janice bear too much of the burden of child-rearing. Nope."

He took another swig of his beer. The affair had been ongoing for years but things moved fast after the day Cole found out. He brought Isabel home that afternoon and jammed a chair under his door so he could pack without Janice being able to get near him.

"Luckily my brother's a family law attorney so he drew up the papers the next day and she signed them once it was obvious I wasn't going to speak another word to her. The divorce was final nine months ago in March. We alternate weeks with Izzy; I dropped her off yesterday for her mom's wedding and here we are." Maya listened patiently, toying with her necklace all the while.

"There'll be someone else for you," she finally said.

"God, I hope not," he practically spat out. "I was not interested in getting back on the horse when the split was finalized, and I'm not looking now. Maybe something casual, but that's as far as I'm going." There was about a minute of silence before Cole realized how rough he came off. "I'm so sorry," he finally said. "I've been dumping all this on you and haven't even asked about the boys. They were both smart little guys. They're probably in high school now." Maya's face brightened at the mention of her sons.

"Yes, yes they are but not where you might think. They both got into the TFI high school, one year apart."

"Downtown?" Cole was impressed. "So they're almost guaranteed acceptance into the university. Man, that's so nice to know kids you taught turned out that well. But you were always such an involved mom so it's no surprise. Your husband must be proud." Maya stiffened.

"Umm... he's not really in the picture anymore, Mr. G." Cole cocked an eyebrow.

"Hey, it's Cole now. I'm chest-deep in alcohol and we're bitching about our lives together at a bar. How is he out of the picture when you've still got your marriage necklace on?"

"It's a weird story and you're probably not going to believe me..." Maya trailed off, half-impressed he knew Hindu women commonly wore a necklace instead of a wedding ring, and half concerned that he was ordering his fourth--no, fifth?--beer. Cole just nodded at her to start talking as he took a swig of his latest bottle. "Okay, then," she sighed. "He ran away to become a monk."

"This is not the night to make fun of me, Maya," Cole said, fighting a grin.

"I wish I were joking," she replied quietly.

"A monk?" Cole was incredulous.

"We had a lot of responsibility while the kids were young," she explained. "We had a decent-sized house so his parents were living with us and helping me with the babies at first. Then they stayed, and his brother moved in, then his sister. They were each out of a job and I was a stay-at-home mom for that stretch, so the burden of taking care of eight people on a single salary fell on Ram. Eventually there was a big fight and his siblings ended up leaving and not talking to him again.

"His parents were also disappointed because they felt he forced them out, and that caused a rift between everyone. We were thinking why they were on his back when everyone would have been homeless without us. His siblings bounced back and forth to our house whenever they wanted and lived with us for a total of six years." Cole couldn't believe how casually she was telling this story. Janice wouldn't have even tolerated his brother staying with them for six weeks.

"Eventually," Maya continued, "his parents passed away, and I felt like we were going to get our lives back and just be our own little family for the first time. But I hadn't seen how he'd grown tired of life over that decade. We missed out on a lot because we were just taking care of people. He was quiet for a long time and I thought he just didn't know what to do with our new freedom, but then he told me he wanted to find himself in Nepal. He was gone a month later. That was three years ago."

"Yet you still wear the necklace." Cole was wondering whether she was making this up. It was hard to believe any straight man would lose interest in this kind and beautiful woman just when he got the chance to have sex with her in every room of the house all day long. He clenched his jaw, embarrassed at the thought crossing his mind... again.

***Seven years ago***

Late June and another school year in the can, Cole thought, using a staple remover to take down the posters from his portable's walls. There was a knock at the door and an immediate turn of the knob behind him.

"Projects are all sitting along the window," he said without turning around and risking falling off the stepladder. It was probably another parent picking up their kid's work.

"Yeah, that's the thing," a familiar voice replied, "Tejas still hasn't gotten into the habit of putting his name on stuff." Cole spun around and almost toppled the ladder, catching himself on a nearby bookshelf that was fastened to the wall. "Whoa there," Maya said in surprise, rushing forward to steady the ladder and offer him her hand.

She looked ravishing in a knee-length, blue cotton sundress. It was smock waisted with white spaghetti straps that contrasted her golden brown shoulders. Her hair was loose and held back by sunglasses perched on her head, and her flower-petal eyes were lined in black. Silver anklets sat above her feet and made jingling sounds every time she took a step. Cole was deeply committed to his wife, but he still had a pulse and Maya made it race.

Committed was the right word nowadays because it wasn't as though they were as wildly in love as they'd been even a year ago. Isabel was going to be a year and a half now, and they'd made the practical decision to not have Janice return to work because daycare costs were astronomical where they lived. Cole toyed with the idea that Janice resented it but she brushed it off whenever he broached the topic. It was the right decision for Izzy, she assured him.

He appreciated how much unpaid work she was doing in caring for their daughter and home, but he wished it didn't come at the price of Janice being too tired for sex for months on end now.

Cole knew part of the reason he'd invited parents to pick up their kids' dioramas was just so he could catch a glimpse of Maya again, and he felt guilty as hell for it. After all, there was no chance her husband would come pick it up.

"I'm okay," he said, scrambling down from the stepladder. He felt his trousers stirring and slipped into his chair behind his desk. Maya was looking in the other direction, peering at every project to get a clue of which one was her son's. Her dress hiked up in the back when she bent over to look at the lower shelf, and Cole felt the tent go up in his pants.

"Do you know which one is his, Mr. G?" she asked, not turning around. "Think you can point it out?" All Cole could see in his mind's eye was her bent over his desk with her dress bunched up, and him gripping those luscious hips and making her scream his name in ecstasy. Stop it, you horny asshole, he chastised himself, gritting his teeth.

"Ahhhh, it's the one on the right," he said out loud. "He made a farmyard with a bunch of pigs."

"Oh, it's adorable," Maya said when she spotted it, her face breaking into a loving smile as she admired her child's work. So many parents don't even care, Cole thought, watching how in love this woman was with her little boy. He felt a sharp pang of guilt in objectifying her just because he was hitting a rough patch at home. She twirled around to face him and he quickly crossed his legs and scooted closer to his desk.

"Listen," she said, stepping toward his desk and perching herself in a little chair, "I really want to thank you for how amazing you were for both my kids. And unless you're teaching grade three or four next year, this is sadly where we leave you." She was close enough he could smell the earthy scent of her sandalwood perfume.

"They were both a pleasure to teach," he said, his hazel eyes looking right at her beautiful face. With a final, wistful smile, she let herself out. When the door clicked behind her, he went over to the window to watch her walk away.

***Present day***

"We're not actually divorced," Maya said, her fingers winding around her marriage necklace.

"Why wouldn't you divorce someone who left you to live on another continent?" Cole asked. "How do you know he's even alive?" Maya pulled out her phone and showed him a series of texts. Each one appeared once a month, going back years. Each was exactly one word.

"Safe?" Cole asked, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. "He texts you 'safe' once a month and you're staying in this marriage for that? And you saved every text? When's the last time you even had sex?" Cole regretted the words as soon as they flew out of his mouth. "I'm sorry," he said, cringing. "I'm really, very sorry... and really, very drunk, and I should probably go home now." A faint pinkness appeared on Maya's cheekbones but she pretended not to hear his last question.

"Let me take you home," she said. "Drive--I mean, let me drive you home."

"I don't mind the first one either," Cole grinned. "Nah, it's okay, I walked here. I'm like, a kilometer away, and I could do with a walk."

"Listen, it's late now, and it was snowing when I came in. There's probably more snow now. I'm not comfortable with the idea of a drunk guy stumbling home in the dark at the exact moment when everyone forgets how to drive." She stood up and pulled him to his feet, so close he smelled that familiar scent in her hair. Sandalwood...

She helped him into his jacket then zipped up her own, and held his hand while guiding him through the now-packed pub toward the exit. The late-November wind hit them as soon as she pushed the door open and she slid her arm around him. Cole smiled at how cute it was that she thought she was protecting him when he had about 60 lbs on her and towered seven inches higher. He squeezed his frame into her tiny sedan and she pulled onto the main road, after which he directed her to his apartment.

They were barely in the car for three minutes when she stopped at his low-rise, and she got out of the car with him. He looked at her curiously.

"You said it was a walk-up," she explained. "What if someone mugs you in the stairwell?"

"And you're going to save me?"

"What if you trip and chip a tooth?"

"I'm now understanding why Tejas was so good at creative writing." Maya rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm again. If he hadn't been so out of it he would have better appreciated the feel of her fingers lacing through his.

They reached his door and he fumbled with his key, then looked at Maya once he turned the lock. He was drunk enough to not be able to organize a sentence, but not so drunk he was going to chance it and say something stupid again. Maya looked back at him and a long silence hung between them.

"Get some rest," she whispered, giving him a gentle nudge toward his door. "Goodnight." And with that she turned back to the stairwell, accepting she would never see him again.

***********

What year was it eight years ago? Cole thought the next morning, his head pounding. The bags under his eyes had their own bags, and he looked pale and sickly. Was it a bad idea to go back into his class records to find his parent contact info files? Yes. Was he going to have Maya's last memory of him be of a drunken ass who asked her when she last got laid? Hell, no.

There it is, he thought, thankful he never deleted anything off his external hard drive. It's 41 Holyfield Avenue... that's right by the school. Of course it's by the school, you idiot, they sent their kids there. He examined himself in the mirror and decided he needed time to recover before showing her his face again. She'd barely changed in the seven years since he watched her leave his portable--still incredible looking and still so kind.

He finally worked up his nerve four days later and impulsively turned left onto her street instead of zooming straight after leaving school. She probably doesn't even live there anymore. Her kids go to school downtown so she probably moved... but what was she doing at the bar if she moved an hour away? Maybe visiting friends... but why wouldn't she eat with them instead of going into a bar for a snack?