Sandy's Girl

"I had a great time," she reached out and pushing my chin to one side, brushed her lips across my cheek, "you'll never wash that spot again," she pulled back and opened the door.

"Bye."

My goodbye was a little late and I'm not sure she heard me. I watched her go inside and then my phone beeped, it was a message from Kim.

Kim: About 1:00, Sunday, see you then.

I replied and then headed on home. My head was swimming, my guts churning and I felt as if I was skating close to the edge of something. Tracey hadn't mentioned anything about Kim being curious but maybe she wasn't curious. Maybe I was reading too much into it. I've done that a few times in the past. She shows interest in me and I misread her intent and take it too far. Some women I know are on the brink but not sure how far to take it and others are genuinely curious.

I didn't feel right talking to Tracey about her best friend but Tracey's girlfriend, Charlie has been a friend of mine for years. Her advice was just to go with the flow.

"Don't read too much into it for Christ's sake. She's shown interest in lesbian relationships but that was for a dissertation. Writing about lesbian relationships is different to being in one."

Wise advice and with that in mind I chose my outfit carefully. I had to work that night, we had a gig down the Peninsula at the Pier hotel so I wore my white shirt with a pair of tan-coloured knee-length shorts but had my leather trousers in the car to change into later on.

This time Kim answered the door and I instantly felt under dressed. She wore a white dress with wide straps and a flared skirt, it looked like something you'd wear to a candlelight dinner with its black belt. Her hair was crimped and she'd put on a little makeup, not that she needs to wear much on her face.

"You look nice," she gave me the once over, "cool shorts, is this a stage outfit?"

"Um, no, it's in the car," I glanced over my shoulder, "I'll probably leave straight from here and get changed at the pub."

"You can get changed here," she stepped back, "where's the gig?"

"The Pier hotel."

"I haven't been there for over twelve months," she led me into the living room, "this is Gizella and Ilona, my sisters."

The two girls looked to be about fifteen or sixteen, they were sitting on the couch with their phones and smiled when Kim introduced me. Analyn came into the room a few moments later and ran an eye over my outfit.

"No leather today?"

"That's later, my stage outfit is in the car."

"Well, take a seat, lunch will be served soon. I hope you brought an appetite, we're big eaters here."

I took a seat and Kim sat opposite me, Gizella and Ilona were giggling at a You Tube video and at one point they switched to their own language before remembering where they were and going back to English again.

"Do you have a You Tube channel?" Gizella asked me.

"Sandy's destroyers," I replied.

Some fifteen seconds later I heard my voice on her phone, which is something I'm used to these days but at first it was hard to watch yourself on video. The two girls thought I was awesome and not long afterwards we were summoned through to the kitchen for a Sunday roast.

"They must like you," Kim remarked a couple of hours later as we sat out under the pergola in the back yard.

"Why?"

"They switched to Hungarian without thinking about it. Usually they stick to English whenever strangers come to visit, they'll only speak their own language when they feel comfortable with someone."

"Do you speak Vietnamese?"

"Yeah, it was something mum encouraged me to do," she stretched, "although it wasn't much use when she took me back to Vietnam for a holiday, I spoke Vietnamese with an Australian accent so most of the time if I wanted to be understood I had to use English."

"I've never been there to be honest, although I've been to Bali and Thailand."

"Well, you never know," she smiled at me, "it's a beautiful country. She got in contact with my mum's family in Khanh Hoa Province, I met my grandmother and a lot of cousins, I still keep in contact with some of them but I'm so glad I live here. The level of censorship there is extreme, it was a real culture shock for me."

She propped her chin on her palms.

"So, do I get another free pass tonight?"

"Sure," I replied, "I'll even run you back home tonight and speaking of which," I stretched, "I'd better go change into my slut uniform."

"Don't say slut uniform, it's a fucking cool outfit. That's a guy thing, if a woman looks sexy she's a slut, my last boyfriend was okay but now he's history."

"Not your type?" I rose from the table.

"He was okay," she stood up as well, "but I found myself questioning why we were even going out together. We used to talk all the time before we got together and then we did and it's like we forgot how to talk to each other. It was just sex in the end and if I wasn't in the mood or I had my period he wanted to be somewhere else."

"Well you don't get that problem with women," I smirked, "bathroom cabinet, third shelf and there's always spare knickers with three women at my joint."

It's an old joke but it made her laugh out loud and then I was getting my stage outfit and making my way back inside again. I noticed Kim's bedroom door was closed and made my way back to the living room where Analyn was watching the telly.

"Kim's getting changed," I laid the leather trousers on the couch.

"So, you and Kim, are you?"

"To be honest I don't know," I replied, "I'll give her a free pass to the gig tonight and bring her back here later on."

"Well you're certainly more interesting than the last person she invited home," she leaned forward to pick up her wineglass, "Darren was a nice boy but he really couldn't cope with four women at once, even if two are too young and another is too old for him. I used to wonder why they were even together to be honest but Kim's always been quite independent."

"She told me about her trip to Vietnam," I replied.

"Uh huh," she sipped her wine, "it was a spur of the moment thing. I wanted her to visit her home country and make some connections with family, they're the only blood relatives she's got."

"She told me her mother died when she was a baby."

"Did she tell you how her father died?" Analyn looked at me over the rim of her wineglass.

"No, I didn't ask."

"Well if she tells you it's a sign you're in with a chance."

Kim came out about then dressed in blue jeans and white shirt that was buttoned to just above her cleavage, she collapsed into a nearby chair and put her feet on the table.

"Bedroom's free."

As I changed into my stage outfit I resolved to let go of myself. For reasons I couldn't fathom, it seemed as if Kim was flirting with me but how far would this go?

***

The Pier Hotel in Frankston does look a little drab from the outside but looks are deceiving, it has long been a premier live music venue. Playing there is to walk in the steps of greatness, most of Australia's most famous bands played the Pier more than once from AC/DC to INXS and my all time personal favourite, The Divinyls. Despite that claim to greatness, the atmosphere in the band rooms is very egalitarian, there's no snobbery about the place. You go in, play your slot and hope to get the crowd up and dancing. You know the bands that will last because they're prepared to put in the hard yards and just work.

The pub circuit isn't X Factor or Australia's Got Talent. Pub bands are the sharp end of the wedge, we aren't aiming for glitz and glamour, it's all about honing your skills, ironing out the wrinkles and above all learning how to work the crowd. Some crowds are about as responsive as a corpse in a morgue and I've learned a lot about dealing with rejection, smartarse comments like, "show us ya tits, luv," and on the other end of the scale you've got the crowd who loves everything you do. The feeling of euphoria can be frightening when you're coming back to that same venue a week later. Will they still love us or has their enthusiasm waned? What if it was just a one night stand? And I know heaps of people tune into these talent shows and vote for people who've never sung before a live crowd before. But I've always said that experience is the best teacher. If you're not serious about your music then you won't last the pub scene, it can make or break you.

In our case however, it's definitely made us. We've got a dedicated fan base who often follow us from pub to pub or turn up at our regular spots at their watering hole. Some of them know I'm gay but others don't know and don't care. With that in mind I was kind of conscious that a few of the girls were looking at Kim and I as we walked into the band room. We arrived early to set up and do our sound checks and then we had a short break before getting on stage.

It's a routine with which I'm very familiar. You can do it in your sleep, which is great for those nights you're feeling a little weary or stressed out. That night however was different and not just because Kim decided to help Stephen set up the system. I felt her eyes on me, it was as if she was checking me out but it came across as innocent. Even the boys noticed it and Adam remarked that she was definitely up for it, which made me feel both happy and anxious. What was I going to do with this woman? She was Tracey's best friend and I just felt a little on edge about getting involved with one of her friends. Thankfully my nerves evaporated by the time I got on stage and I got through a couple of forty five minute sessions without missing a beat.

One of the women who bought Kim a drink was Dolores, an older gay woman who has come onto me a couple of times in the past. Dolores is one of those women who lives for her lost youth, she's forever trying to pick up much younger women and sometimes she even scores. However she wasn't scoring that night because although Kim chatted to her, I noticed that she'd moved her chair closer to Stephen and afterwards on the way home in the car she told me that Dolores gave her the creeps.

"I nearly told her to fuck up and die."

"You wouldn't be the first, she's tried to land me a couple of times but I always just smile and tell her I'm interested in someone else or with someone. Dolores is harmless enough, but I wouldn't want to spend a night at her joint, you'd need to bring your own chain and padlock."

"I hadn't factored that into my gender studies," she replied, "creepy women."

"Well they do exist, being gay doesn't mean you've got a halo. We fight, cheat on each other and use people just the same as the straights. It's called being human."

"I kind of guessed that already," she nudged my leg, "but thanks."

We pulled up outside her place some time later and I kept the engine running for a minute or so until she leaned over and turned it off. The implication and opportunity were there and I reclined the seat a little and contemplated the garage doors, a faint light was visible in the front room most likely from a lamp and the porch light was also on.

I felt her hand on my leg a few moments later and looked down momentarily and then over at Kim, she was looking down at my belly as if daring herself to go further and I spread my legs wider but didn't reach for her. Nothing happened for a full minute, I know because my eyes were locked on the phone sitting in its holder and then she slid her hand up to my zipper. I felt her thumbnail sliding under the flap and then down the zipper.

Our eyes met then and Kim smiled as she shifted around and changed hands. This time she was more deliberate, sliding her fingers up and down the zipper, she kept her eyes locked on mine and for some reason I didn't make any move towards her. I just let her keep going up and down, but then she grabbed the zipper tag and pulled it slowly down, I felt the coolness as she reached the bottom. My shirt was still in the way and she undid a button and somewhat gingerly, slipped three fingers inside.

I grabbed her wrist lightly and pulled it towards me. Kim twisted her hand a little and moved it down between my legs. She had a look of concentration as she moved her fingers over my genitals. I closed my eyes and just let her keep going, I arched my back a little and she slid behind my panties. I was getting wetter and as her bent finger rubbed against my opening she seemed to sense my heightened arousal and slowly withdrew her hand.

Kim leaned across and kissed me on the lips. I turned and putting my hand on her leg, slid it up to her crotch. She parted for me, letting me rub her genitals through her jeans. We broke free for a moment and then she tilted her head to one side and kissed me again as I rubbed her through the jeans. Kim dropped her hand down to my open fly and slipped her hand inside again. I moved to accommodate her and then I unzipped her. I felt her wetness behind the panties and her lips pressed harder against mine. She broke free for a few seconds, her breathing was shallower and then she kissed me again and I slid my finger between her lips, she winced and moaned as the kiss became more intense and then just as suddenly she pulled back and put her back against the door. There was a strange light in her eyes as she stared past me and then looked down at her unzipped jeans.

"Can you come around tomorrow night after work?"

"Of course," I nodded, "what time?"

"About seven," she replied a moment later, "mum is going to stay over at Tracey's joint and the girls are going for a sleepover."

And then she was opening the door and getting out, taking time to zip up her jeans, I watched her go inside and finally pushed back against the seat as I tried to compose myself.

How the fuck am I going to last until tomorrow?

***

Mondays are never my favourite day of the week unless it happens to be a long weekend, but that one seemed longer than usual. It was broken up by Kim's text sometime after midday.

Kim: Are you still coming around tonight?

Sandy: Yeah, of course. How are you?

Kim: Floating. Gotta go.

She sent a picture message via Snapchat a minute or two later. It was a selfie that showed her at a café wearing an off-white blouse and dark grey, checked trousers, the angle of the camera clearly showed off her breasts. I was so distracted by that picture that I actually tried to put a new starter motor on upside down.

That night I struggled to find something nice to wear. I mean I'm no stranger to dating, quite the opposite in fact but that night I think I tried on four outfits before discarding all of them for a plain white shirt, black leather tie, black jeans and a black waistcoat. I was going to wear trainers but instead chose my favourite boots. Mum did a double take when she saw me in the kitchen.

"A little butch, even for you."

"God, don't say that," I sighed, "I'm trying to look ladylike."

"Hmm," she took a step back, "wait there, I might have something else in mind."

Mum's something else was an old white blouse with ruffles up the front and contrasting black cuffs and collar. I eyed it doubtfully but tried it on all the same and was surprised at the result.

"I was going to give it to the op shop but didn't have the heart to put it in the bag. It was the blouse I wore on my first date with Wendy," she nodded at the door to the living room where Wendy was sitting watching tv.

"Thanks, I'm not even sure what's going to happen tonight."

"Well I'll leave the porch light on until one, after that you'll have to use your torch," she tugged at the loose, floppy collar, "remember that good things take time. It took me a month to agree to go on a date with Wendy and about another three weeks before we got naked together. I was definitely a slow burner but we've been together ever since," she patted my cheek.

"Now go in there and say goodbye to Wendy."

Wendy gave me the once over and a thumbs up.

"When do we get to meet the lovely Kim?"

"Soon, I hope," I kissed her cheek, "bye."

I felt somewhat overdressed as I drove over to Kim's joint but that feeling vanished the moment she opened the door.

"Wow," she ran an eye over me, "you look beautiful."

"So do you," I looked at her outfit, "your work uniform is definitely better than mine."

"It has to be," she stepped back, "come on in, I hope you brought an appetite."

I could smell the food as I stepped into the kitchen. Honeyed chicken wings, boiled rice and some steamed vegetables, she'd added some soy sauce and prawn crackers.

"Smells good."

"Let's hope it tastes just as good," she replied.

The meal was certainly tasty but it was the conversation that I remember most vividly because that was the night she told me the truth about her father. What shocked me was finding out that he'd been killed in a police raid.

"It was a raid that went wrong," she stirred the remainders on her plate.

Now I've always considered myself open minded, you have to be in the entertainment industry, otherwise your creative juices would never flow but that caused me to sit bolt upright.

"What the fuck?"

"It was a drug raid," she shrugged, "my father was a dealer. He pulled a gun when the cops burst in and wounded one of the cops and then they shot him. My biological mother had died a few weeks previously from an overdose of extra strong heroin and the way mum explained it, the drug squad decided to move in and arrest him to get me out of there. I ended up in hospital because I was malnourished and Analyn decided to adopt me but to avoid being rejected by the department she resigned from the force and applied as a civilian. Tracey's dad did grease a few wheels though but that was years before they became an item of course."

"Now I've heard it all," I exhaled, "so, how long have you known this?"

"Not long after I started high school," she told me, "I mean it was obvious I was adopted but I didn't know the full truth until I was fourteen. She told me as much about my father as she knew, which wasn't much but she also took me to where my biological mother is buried out at Springvale. It's a sad little plot, she was only twenty two when she died, which is old for a drug addict, I haven't been back since because I've always thought of Analyn as my real mum. She's the one who raised me, in that way I think I can say she really loves me because she chose me, instead of just giving birth to me."

"It's a good way to put it," I replied, "and what about your father?"

"He's buried out at Springvale as well but I've never been to his grave."

It made my upbringing seem positively normal in comparison and I said as much in my usual roundabout way.

"But you had two mums, didn't you ever wish for a dad?"

"Nope, but I had plenty of positive male role models. My two mums had straight and gay male friends who still drop in to see them, what about you?"

"Mum had boyfriends and one girlfriend I know about, but when Tracey's dad got back in contact with her a while ago they just hit it off. I've known Tracey ever since then and if my mum and her dad ever get married we'll be sisters."

"So, you and her would never," I left the question unfinished.

"Never," she winced, "she's my best friend and if we did get together and then broke up I'd lose my best friend and a girlfriend. Some friends of ours kind of suggested it a while ago but that was before she got together with Charlie."

"I've known Charlie for years, it's kind of the same thing I guess. She's the girlfriend I have when I haven't got a girlfriend but neither of us ever went all the way, it's funny like that but I understand the tension though."

"Good to know," she rose and started gathering the plates.

"Why? You thinking of applying?"

"I might be," she glanced at me, "let's just say I like the way Tracey is with Charlie, I know you can't compare people like that, but Tracey is a lot like me in some ways. I never thought she'd go for women despite the fact she can be a bit of a tomboy."