All Comments on 'Sarah Ch. 01'

I'm on page four and will definitely read to the finish.

But the author has an uncertain way with homophones, taught that should be taut, throws that should be throes. A worse habit is that of inserting an unnecessary apostrophe between a word and its pluralizing "s": tit's, bit's, etc. Please learn the difference between the plural "s" and the possessive "s."

There are stories so hot that spelling and grammar may be safely ignored. In this long-fused, slow-burning six-pager, however, the repetitive errors eventually pile up and become impossible to ignore.

Keep up the excellent work, but take the time to improve the peripheral skills that will showcase your creativity. Or find an editor who will assist you to do so!

This story was really good until Sarah completely lost control of herself after her night with Mark. I can't imagine someone like her, from her background, removing her bra and underwear and going into a professional environment with her nipples visable. Giving herself to Dave was out of character. I would say the story was good, but implausible.

Nookiehunter

Sarah was on top of her game, hot as hell, and she and Mark were great together. Then you turned her into a desperate slut who would degrade herself. What a horrible finish to a great story. I hope in the next chapter she comes to her senses, shows that asshole who is the boss, and gets revenge. Please don't slut her out to the rest of the store.

Great start

Powerful middle

Lame ending

Do twist it in Ch. 2

Too bad she got involved with Dave but I guess it helps make the story. Thanks for writing. I will go on to the next chapter and hope she gets even with Dave.