by Domes88
I know this is fantasy but please..never go ass to pussy without washing first. Can cause all kinds of trouble for the woman if you don't...
Totally believable. I expect an alien to come through the bedroom window and fuck them both next. And what happened to grammar and punctuation? Never mind, if you don't know now you likely never will. No stars. I didn't hate it, I just don't like wasting my time.
I stopped reading at "I already knew by now she had a bald pussy" and rated it a 2.
Good beginning. I also agree with another commenter about going from ass to pussy with a finger and proper hygiene. Don't ever do that except with a warm and very deeply penetrating wet stiffly pointed tongue. She will not say NO! hygiene or not. Anyone else agree?
anal, especially done extremely stupidly, totally ruined whatever you were going for in this one.
While this IS fiction, you should try to at least make it somewhat believable. You lost me nearly from the beginning because Lyss encounters Dane in the kitchen when she's bottomless. She's embarrassed enough to flee to her bedroom, but when he immediately follows behind, she has no problems launching into explicit details about her sex life. Next she has no hesitation whatsoever in accepting Dane's offers. It just doesn't add up.
The concept is fantastic but it fails in execution. 1/5
As soon as the brother mentioned it was going on a website the outcome was predictable, more so, when they used their real names - seriously?