Scared Sara Ch. 04

Two days later I went back to class. I told Lucien he couldn't go all possessive and hold me in public. Since he's moved himself into the apartment and seem to have no plan of leaving anytime soon, I made him promise that in public we're friends and nothing more. He reluctantly agreed but still insisted on not letting me out of his sight.

Blake hadn't returned to college and I'd heard that he was still in hospital. I was gleeful hearing the news, the bastard will think twice about messing with me after this!

Things went on fine for me. Finals were fast approaching and I spent a lot of time in the Library or once in a while joined a study group. Lucien always managed to be wherever I was but smart enough to be unobtrusive about it.

One day some of my classmates asked whether we could have a study session and do it at the apartment since I was one of the few who had an apartment and study rooms and every available corner was occupied. I was reluctant, not because I didn't want to join but how was I to explain Lucien staying at the apartment? So far, nobody knew Lucien was staying with me except of course for 'our gang', Barry, Mike, Helen, Lucien and I.

Lucien had been as good as his word and even though we slept together every night, he never tried to force himself on me. All he did was to give me a few light kisses and hold me.

"Are we on for tomorrow night Sara?" Marcus asked me after class.

"Um, sure. Can Lucien join us?" I asked, trying to be casual.

"Of course. The more the better especially when we get the two top students in our class!" Marcus grinned back.

That night I told Lucien about the study group. "I don't want you to act or say anything that'll make them suspect that you're staying here," I warned Lucien.

"But I'll be here when they arrive and I won't be going back when they leave. How can they not suspect?" he protested innocently.

"Because you're going to tell them that you arrived early to discuss something with me and when they leave, just tell them you'll be leaving later. And you'd better make sure you're ready and dressed and all your notes and books are already out in the living room. You're not to go to my room for any reason, is that clear?" I glared at him. Somehow his innocent look didn't reassure me.

"And try not to act too familiar with the apartment," I pressed further.

He didn't say anything but just smiled slightly, still with that innocent look. I glared at him, "Lucien I'm serious."

"You certainly are" he grinned back.

The next evening, I tidied up the living room. I didn't want any traces of Lucien to be found there. I was getting worried, the other kids should be arriving soon and Lucien was still not back. Was he up to something?

The bell rang and I opened the door to let the other kids in. We settled down with our books and notes and were just about to start when Lucien walked in. His skin and clothes were smudged with dirt; it was obvious that he'd just finished farm work.

"Sorry guys, I got delayed at the farm. Why don't you all start without me? Just let me get cleaned up and I'll join you," he said calmly and walked to the bedroom.

I was blushing furiously and couldn't meet anyone's eyes. I could feel the other kids looking at me questioningly.

Taking a deep breath I said, "Shall we start?" and smiled brightly trying to act unconcerned even though my cheeks were still red. I'm going to kill Lucien after this!

Every little sound Lucien made, the door closing, the shower starting even his footsteps got magnified in my mind. I tried my best to ignore it and concentrate on the discussion but I could still see the puzzled looks on the other kids faces.

Lucien came and sat down unconcernedly, his hair still damp from the shower and joined in the discussion as if nothing happened. I dared not meet his eyes especially in front of the other kids.

After about an hour, we took a short break and I went to the kitchen to get some drinks and snacks for the others. Lucien calmly followed to give me a hand.

"You bastard, you did this on purpose!" I hissed angrily at him.

"What? You don't want my help?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"Don't give me that innocent look! You purposely delayed farm work so you'd have an excuse for that beautiful performance, didn't you?!" my voice was rising in my anger.

"If you don't want the others to be even more interested than they already are, I suggest you lower you voice," he replied calmly and took the drinks to the living room.

Damn, damn, damn! Killing will be too good for him!

"So, what's the deal with you guys?" Marcus asked, looking from Lucien to me.

"We're friends," I muttered.

"Hmm, I'm your friend too aren't I?" he continued with a mischievous grin. "Can I make myself at home here?"

"No!" I yelled and glared at Marcus.

"Sheesh, sorry. Don't bite my head off!"

"Only selected friends are allowed to make themselves at home," Lucien said with a broad smile and winked at Marcus.

The other kids were laughing and looking with interest at my red face and Lucien's smiling one.

"Can we continue?" I asked irritably.

The group left about an hour later and Lucien and I saw them off at the door. As soon as the door closed I stomped to the bedroom, slammed and locked the door. I was so mad I felt I had smoke coming out of my ears and was certainly not in the mood for Lucien's company then, he'll be lucky I don't permanently disable him!

I heard a knock on the door and demanded furiously, "What?!"

"Sara, let me in," Lucien's voice said calmly.

"Go away you bastard, I don't want to see you ever again!"

"Can you at least let me explain?"

Like he could explain. I kept quiet and didn't answer him. I'm going to sleep and maybe tomorrow, if I had calmed down, I'll be able to look at Lucien without hitting him.

"Please let me in," Lucien's voice was pleading.

I threw a shoe at the door. Then a book. And my study chair for good measure.

I heard Lucien sigh outside and his footsteps walking away.

I woke up the next morning not feeling rested at all because I had tossed and turned until almost dawn. I had cursed Lucien every curse I could think of and then some. I stretched tiredly and was thankful that I didn't have classes today.

I needed a ride, I decided. A fast, hard ride should clear my head and calm me down I hope. I was still furious with Lucien.

I opened the door quietly hoping Lucien was still sleeping and hurried to the bathroom. After my shower, I came out and found Lucien leaning against the wall. I ignored him and walked toward the bedroom. He grabbed my arm and I completely lost my temper. I wrenched my arm free and kicked, sending him crashing into the opposite wall. I grabbed his hair and raised my fist to punch him... when my eyes locked with his. He looked so sad and resigned that I didn't have the heart to hit him.

I let his head drop and hurried to the bedroom.

Lucien was sitting dejectedly on the sofa when I walked into the living room. I was carrying my helmet and pulling on my gloves when he asked me quietly, "Where are you going?"

"None of your damned business!" I snarled back.

"Do you want me to move out?" he asked in a low strained voice.

That stopped me in my tracks and I turned slowly to face him. He was standing there looking at me and I thought I saw tears in his eyes. My first impulse was to give him a flippant reply then I remembered all that Lucien had done for me, his loving care when I was hurt and his patience no matter how I provoked or hurt him. He deserved better.

"No Lucien, I don't want you to move out," I said softly. His eyes flared with gladness and he made a move towards me but I put up my hand, stopping him.

"I'm going for a ride, I need to think. We'll talk when I come back, okay?"

"Will you be alright alone?" he asked worriedly.

"Lucien, I've been taking care of myself for a long time already. I'll be fine," I reassured him with a slight smile.

......... Can't Fight This Feeling (REO Speedwagon) I can't fight this feeling any longer And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow What started out as friendship has grown stronger I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever I say there is no reason for my fear Cause I feel so secure when we're together You give my life direction, you make everything so clear .........

It was already evening by the time I arrived home. The ride had done me good and cleared my head.

I was humming the tune as I let myself into the apartment. I had stopped at a diner to grab some lunch earlier and that old song was playing. I had been fighting my feelings for Lucien all this while and I realized, it was time to stop. After all, life was about taking risks, not playing it safe.

Now that I'd finally made up my mind, I was excited but also slightly scared.

When I went in, the lights were dim and I thought nobody was home. Then I saw the dining table had been set up with fine cutlery and silverware complete with candles and three stalks of pure white roses in a slim crystal vase.

I walked towards the table and sniffed the roses. White roses, my favourite! I wondered who had set up this romantic setting. Barry for Helen or... it couldn't be Lucien, could it?

"You're back" I heard Lucien's voice behind me.

I turned to look at him. He was dressed smartly in dark slacks and a dark blue shirt which accentuated his eyes, his glasses glinting in the dim lighting. His dark gold hair was brushed neatly. He took my breath away and I couldn't say a word, just stared drinking in the sight of him. What a fool I'd been to push him away all this while!

He walked slowly towards me and I gestured at the table, my eyes never leaving his. "Barry?" I asked.

"No, me," he replied softly pulling me into his arms, nuzzling my cheek. "For you."

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back giving him better access to my throat. He nibbled soft kisses along my throat and collarbone, easing my jacket off my shoulder and drew me closer, running his hands tenderly over my body.

He raised his head and looked at me with such love in his eyes I felt humbled. "I love you Sara," and he kissed me. Soft, gentle nibbles on my lips then he deepened the kiss, coaxing my mouth open with his tongue. We stayed locked together for long minutes and drew apart slowly.

"Helen and Barry won't be back tonight and I thought I'd surprise you with a special dinner at home," he said smiling.

"You look nice. You smell nice too," I said nuzzling his throat and inhaling his scent. I was still slightly nervous about letting down my defenses but I was going to be honest with Lucien now and show him that I do care for him.

I rubbed my hands on his chest sensuously and I could feel him getting hard. I dropped my hand and rubbed him lightly through his pants, looking into his eyes seductively. He looked startled but groaned and pushed himself into my hands, pulling me tighter to him.

"You'd better stop or dinner will have to wait," he murmured huskily.

I laughed softly. "Can I have a shower first? I'm covered with road dust."

"You want me to help you?" he asked with a mock leer.

"I think you better see to dinner," I retorted with a grin.

Dinner was wonderful and Lucien refused to let me help with anything. He was very attentive and was in such a humorous mood, I was laughing all through dinner. After dinner, he made tea for me and told me to sit and relax while he cleaned up the kitchen.

"Lucien, let me help. You've done everything tonight."

"Just relax. Tonight is yours and you're not supposed to do anything."

"No, it's our night, so let me help... or I'll throw a tantrum!" I threatened.

"Impossible woman," he muttered.

"Stubborn man," I replied grinning and gave him a raspberry.

We sat on the sofa after that, me with my tea and Lucien with his coffee. "If you drink too much coffee, you won't be able to sleep tonight," I chided him.

"Are we sleeping tonight?" he asked softly looking intently at me, his eyes hot.

I couldn't meet his eyes and started to blush. He removed the cup and held my hands. "Look at me Sara."

I looked into his serious eyes and saw the intent look on his face. "I once told you that when you're ready to give me a chance, tell me because I'll be waiting. I'm still waiting Sara. Are you ready to let me into your life? Not just as a friend but as your boyfriend, partner... and lover."

I looked at Lucien for a long silent moment, and then nodded my head slowly, my eyes never leaving his.

His eyes heated and his hands tightened on mine almost painfully. "Please say it Sara. I need to hear you say it," his voice was husky.

"I want you in my life Lucien. As my boyfriend, partner and lover."

Lucien pulled me into his arms and kissed me, his tongue delving into my mouth, stroking sensuously. I pulled him close, loving the feel of his body pressing into mine. My breath caught in my throat when we broke apart and I saw the look of love in his eyes. Thank you god for bringing this wonderful man into my life.

We went to the bedroom and he sat me down on the bed. He took off his glasses, kneeled at my feet and removed my shoes. He tickled the soles of my feet and I giggled, shivers going up my spine. His hands were hot as he moved them up slowly to my ankles, my calves and rested them on my knees, gently kneading. My breathing had become ragged and there was a tense, coiled feeling low in my stomach.

As his eyes looked hotly into mine, he pushed the hem of my dress up baring my thighs. I moaned as an intense jolt of pleasure shot through me and I felt myself becoming wet. Spreading my knees, he pushed his face forward until his lips barely touched me through my panties.

I let out the breath I'd been holding and whimpered, my hands clutching his shoulders.

Lucien was hard and aching, the sounds Sara was making driving him to distraction. He wanted this to be perfect for her and didn't want to rush but could feel his control slipping at the sight of her flushed face and the scent of her arousal.

He lapped up her juices which were leaking through the panties as his hands continued caressing her satiny calves, the soft flesh at the back of her knees and her thighs. He could feel her muscles quivering under his hand.

"Lucien, please" I panted. I was incoherent with desire, his hands and mouth were driving me wild.

Smiling slightly, Lucien stood and pulled me to my feet. Wrapping his arms around me he rained soft kisses on my forehead, cheeks and nose. I grabbed his face impatiently, bringing his mouth to mine. We kissed, open mouthed, tongues tangling, hungry and needy.

We broke apart breathing raggedly and stared into each other's eyes. Lucien unzipped the back of my dress and let it fall to my feet.

He looked at me clad only in my lacy bra and panties with hot, hungry eyes and groaned.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered and buried his face on the slopes of my breast exposed over my bra. One hand pulling me tight as he kissed and nipped at my flesh while the other cupped my breast, running his thumb over my nipple through the lace.

He unhooked my bra and tossed it impatiently aside. Cupping my breasts he kissed one and then the other. I moaned as I felt the hot warmth of his mouth sucking on my nipples until they were hard and swollen. Hooking his thumbs on my panties, he drew it down.

He stood up and started to undress but I stopped him. "Let me Lucien."

As I unbuttoned his shirt, I rained kisses on his chest loving the feel of his satiny skin on my lips. Tossing aside his shirt, I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. He pushed them down quickly.

That beautiful, hard body, all mine! His shorts were tented with his arousal and I touched him tentatively through the material. He drew in his breath sharply when I cupped his balls while my other hand grasped his shaft. I looked up into his eyes, smiled and leaned forward to lick his nipples.

He gave a growl of surprised pleasure, crushed me in his arms and kissed me like a man possessed. He pushed me away slightly, yanked down his shorts and pushed me on the bed. He kissed me again, his hands running feverishly over my body.

Trailing wet kisses over my breasts and stomach, he reached my pussy and my thighs opened to him. His eyes locked on mine, he licked my cleft from top to bottom several times. I was moaning and clutching any part of him I could reach, my head rolling on the pillow.

He thrust a finger into me, suckling on my clit and in a moment I gushed out my first orgasm, panting hoarsely. Lucien got on his knees but when I saw his erection, I felt a twinge of fear.

Seeing my expression, he frowned slightly and asked, "What's wrong Sara?"

My eyes flew to his and I blushed. A bit late for modesty at this point with Lucien kneeling between my spread thighs, I realized wryly.

"I'm-- I'm a virgin," I told him softly.

Lying down, he pulled me close and looked concernedly into my eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to if you're not ready."

"I am ready Lucien and I want to do this with you."

"It's gonna hurt--" he said with a worried frown.

"I know," I interrupted gently, caressing his cheek. "It doesn't matter; I want to do this with you."

His eyes blazed hotly when he heard that and kissed me again. I could taste myself on him and that excited me even more. Running his hands over me, he proceeded to kiss every inch of my body, driving me crazy with desire.

"Lucien, please. I need you now!" I pleaded and pulled him to me. Taking a moment to pull on a condom, he eased himself slowly into me, gritting his teeth. When he reached the barrier of my hymen, he stopped.

Looking at me, he asked again, his voice hoarse, "Sara, are you sure?"

"Yes Lucien. I want you, please now" I pleaded and pushed my hips towards him.

Lucien lost his rigid control when he heard that and with a growl thrust fully into her. And, she screamed.

In a slightly panicked voice, he said "God, I'm sorry Sara! Are you alright?"

I didn't realize it was going to be this bad! Lucien kept perfectly still for which I was grateful, I wasn't prepared for him to move at the moment.

"Y-yes," I gasped. "Just-- just don't move yet."

"I won't, I won't," he said fervently. The feel of her tight depths surrounding him was driving him wild but he held himself rigidly in check and remained still. He rubbed her arms, shoulders and back tenderly to sooth her, murmuring sweet words, gently kissing her face and neck.

The pain subsided and after a while and I began moving tentatively against Lucien. He started rocking his hips gently, shallow thrusts until he sensed from my movements that I was ready. Slowly he build up his pace until I was arching to meet his thrusts fully and we moved together, awkwardly at first until slowly, we got into the right rhythm.

I could feel the tight coil of desire clenching in the pit of my stomach building up to a mind blowing release and pushed myself against him, wanting to get as close to him as I could. He leaned forward and captured my nipple, running his tongue over the tight bud, finally taking it deep into his mouth and suckled. Clutching my hip, he pulled me close, thrusting harder and faster, plunging his length deep into me and I shattered on a wave of intense orgasm, holding him tight, never wanting to let go. My climax set Lucien off as well and I felt him quiver with his own release, pounding into me until the last drop of his seed spilled from his body.

Shuddering and panting with our release, we clung to each other and I buried my face in his sweaty neck, inhaling his wonderful scent. A scent that was uniquely Lucien, I realized, having spent the last few weeks sleeping in his arms.