All Comments on 'Scars'

really enjoyed this story, needs another chapter.

Please write another chapter ASAP . I would love to see these two end up together permanently

loved it.please keep it going

Can't wait for many more chapters to this story. Very well written story please write more soon.

Good start. I agree there needs to be more with these two.

3 errors in the first line, and the many more that followed, made it difficult to immerse myself into this story. An editor will greatly improve the flow.

The sex scenes seemed a little rushed. Very little hesitation or introspection for a damaged brother and sister crossing a very large boundary.

A suggestion: make the chapters longer. Two to three times this length seems to be standard for this site. If it's too short it's annoying. Just as interest gets piqued, the chapter ends. It needs a little more meat to it before a break.

It's a very good start being your first on LE, but it also needs quite a lot of work. Get an editor to minimise the grammatical errors first, then spend some time on general formatting and language use ("your aroma smells" did crack me up real good) etc.

Storywise you're set on a pleasent course as long as you don't screw it up halfway throug and start adding people left and right just to make the story sexually appealling. Keep it a simple bro & sis story that puts emphasis on the developing romance.

Gave you 4* because I enjoyed it and also to stimulate you to write more and spend some time doing it right.

Give big brother Jon some chest hair for that gorgeous masculine muscular chest! Jen can make him feel so good as she strokes and tastes his sexy chest, laves his nipples, and traces his treasure trail right to his cock!

Start, could have been longer

This could actually be a decent story if it were not for the terrible writing! Please break up each sentence and read it over and correct all the mistakes.

The 1st part was v good upto jen getting the watch.. but then 'BAM' straight into the sex.........really!! That spoilt it.

Shame

spoilt.... sigh

He had pulled her into bed with him and then they were standing and......,oh well.

The story is about two beautiful kids that need each other.....

i loved this story, and i hope you continue this....

THANK YOU....

You're off to a good start. You may want to develop the characters more as to go on. I don't mind good sex in a story, but a great story has more than just sex in it. As an example, look at all the conversation you have with people throughout a week. Sex is only a part of the story.

Dick lol

when my lil cusen debbi came into my room when every one was asleep she sead she cant sleep coz her nipples kept bugging her she lifted her top i saw thats all she wore focasing on the two swollen darkhalf inch long points her budding tits large lumps big for her age i looked lower wow girl sence when did those grow pointing to her curly pussybush she sead like it they started growing there two yearsago waround age 8 she also sead she wasent a virgen no more sead a man from there apartment bld talked her and a frend into litin him see them naked when he played with her pussy she let him fuck her her frend got dress and ran home while she got fucked she sead my dick is much bigger than that mans waswe fuckt day and nite till she got pregnant gust befor her 12 b day by a old man down the block her baby came out white like the man not black like me so figure it out doe.

i want someone with a thick long cock to pack my shithole good n deep soooooooooo.

Wow, this story made me wet. This is how my brother and I did it, too. He rubbed my clit through my panties and aroused me so badly that I reached for his big cock bulge and returned the pleasure. He has a huge thick veiny penis with big head, and if I would've let him, he'd have fucked me with that huge cock, and spurted in me. I sucked & jacked him, and he spurted a huge load on my thighs and pussy!

That was so sexy and really sweet, wish I had a brother