by millennialfox
I just hate this king... :-(
But the story is a good one. Keep going, but please don't make him beat her again...
The story is very good, and the king beating her is needed it helps get the story across. It's who he is... Keep writing it how you want so far it's amazing.
Why did the king want his booty hole licked? Women should not lick a man's booty hole.
Personally, this was the first chapter that was stimulating to me. The others were too brutal and severe. However, the story overall is wonderfully told and I was hooked since chapter one. You're a fantastic writer millenialfox. I really love the layers in the characters. I can't wait to unravel the mystery of Scheherazade's past. I also can't wait to see if it's possible for Shariyar's redemption.
No beating, no rimming... Exactly what depraved fetishes can my sad, sadistic sultan have? Jk... I shall keep your comments in mind as I carry on writing!
I am enjoying this, because it is different and like the other well written work on this site, has a plot! Yes the violence is just that, but I have a feeling you will take us to a happier place by the end. If not....that's how your muse goes, please continue and thank you.
I for one love the brutality. It keeps it real and raw, also because it's exciting.
@millenialfox no it's fine if he is sick and depraved if that's what it takes to piss readers off to get them to read more. He is sick and twisted that's true. Don't sugar coat nothing because it offends people. I just got caught off guard when he got his booty hole licked . I don't expect men to get they booty hole licked lol. Lick my shithole Lmfao. Best line in a story!
I agree that the rimming wasn't my cup of tea but I can totally see the king getting off from it, just from of the power aspect alone. They're whores so technically with enough money they'll do anything, but this man wants every woman in his kingdom to do that if commanded. He wants his words alone to have such sway that they'll defile themselves. That's why Scheherazade gets under his skin. No doubt other women have opposed him but something in the way she pushes back has affected him, whether he wants to admit it to himself or not.
As for the beatings...yeah, they were harsh. But I think it's important to help illustrate just how cruel and sadistic Shariyar is. To your point, this is a man who sent a hundred plus women to death after robbing them of their virginity. Do I want him to hurt Scheherazade again? Absolutely not, because I'm rooting for her. But it's unrealistic to think that he'll stop so suddenly. Hopefully he'll tone down the savagery. As I said in my previous comment, I'm interested in his redemption and it's because of this. I've no doubt his heart will open up again slowly. Is it truly possible to redeem yourself when you're done such evil things? Is repentance possible?
*smiles*
Another great chapter. i love how you are revealing hints of her past and especially enjoy this new twist with the introduction of Shariyar's exiled brother. Keep up the wonderful writing. Looking forward to the next chapter.
In keeping with absolutely power, which we all know corrupts absolutely, the king is unaccustomed to empathize for anyone. A dangerous sum when combined with anger and bitterness.
This story is not so violent. There are many stories in BDSM as well as in Loving Wives where the women are treated brutally by a bitter and angry man with power.
This isn't a Romance so one should be prepared for non romantic sex.
I like how Jafar was dressed down by the physician. We all fall into the habit of following orders, even when we find them distasteful. As if following orders negates our personal responsibility. The Nuremberg trials put that question to rest nearly 70 years ago.
I continue to love this story. Mystery upon mystery! Glad you have not been dissuaded by the haters. Nonconsent can be a tough category sometimes.
You don't need to apologize for the length of the chapters. Chapters in published literature run 3-6,000 words and I found with my writing, which has a lot of dialogue like yours, that a page here in Lit. is roughly 3,700 words. If you are giving them 3 pages that's roughly 11,000 words and that's 2-3 chapters worth. It's a lot of writing and editing!
I actually happen to think that those brutal scenes were necessary since it shows that Shariyar is not your fluffy, boring, softie prince charming. He is a sadistic monster and this would only make his possible redemption more interesting. The violence makes the story more raw and intense I agree. I'm willing to admit that the sadistic side of my personally loves it!
Often times, too many stories have semi anti-hero who are such gentleman (read: snoozeworthy) that they're so dull and boring to read about. I like my "heroes" to be ruthless, complex, intense, and have layers of goodness and evilness in them...that thin line between dark and light. I like my heroine to be strong, resilient, determined, and not fall into the "magic dick syndrome" after the first time. Zzzzzzz...Too many stories lack these two components and end up being too predictable for me. I'm glad that you've made Shariyar crazy and truly sadistic; he's volatile and unpredictable which is fun to read about! I'm also glad that S. is holding out against him and not submitting easily. At the end of the day, it's your story and you shouldn't have to tone it down for anyone else's taste.
Eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
I think this story rocks, I really do. I don't usually comment on this website (although I loooove reading other people's opinions) but I wanted to say that you're awesome and so is your story. It's such a great retelling of a classic tale (with some interesting twists and liberties taken) and I also love how wretched the king is here. I agree with Tati below. I find the normal leading guys so bland, and whilst I can't imagine being attracted to this guy even if he manages to redeem himself (or to the idea of this guy) given how relentlessly horrible he is, I think it's refreshing that you're not taking the flawed-tragic-poor-hurt-sexy-guy-who-just-wants-to-be-loved-and-can-be-forgiven-for-anything-once-he-whips-out-his-enormous-dick-and-makes-her-come route. And Scheherazade is a great leading lady, love her. I think stories about redemption are ultimately my favourite and I am looking forward to seeing what you have in store for us next.
And yeah with the whole butt licking thing ... I can't say for sure, being a girl and everything, but I think you may have just described every guy's fantasy blowjob. So I really wouldn't worry about that ;)
Oh yeah and stop apologising for the length of your chapters. It's your story; you write how you want to write, and what suits the story you're telling. And lastly, I doubt any sensible readers think for one second that you could be bothered to comment anonymously on other people's stuff to boost your readers. People like to troll. Ignore them. :)
liking the direction this is going in .I hope he saves her :-)
Oh my gosh you gotta continue! I just found this story today and I like the way its continuing. I really hope you do continue. Pretty please?!
is hot. You people who are making fun of this part are missing on a lot of pleasure!!)))
I just wish the sex scenes were longer. Can never get enough of kinky goodness.
I found the full movie on youtube if yall wanna know how to say her name... but the king in the movie looks nasty I am like who would lick his booty hole the actor?
Just a good story, well told, about the strength to endure overcoming the strength to inflict. Hasn't really grabbed me as erotica, yet, though.
but PLEASE. don't let her turn out to be the king's long lost sister.. no redemption down that road!
One of the best literotica stories I have ever read--well written, easy to read, believable and interesting characters, the whole deal. To people complaining about the S&M and nonconsent aspects, there are really two types of nonconsent at the end of the day--"light" nonconsent that essentially turns consensual part-way through, and "heavy" nonconsent like this. I think that there are two types is confusing the issue for some people. Really, I wish they had different names so they could be marked differently. Many people who likes one do not like the other. I personally only like heavy nonconsent and can't stand the "light" version, so I am really enjoying this story. I like the whipping aspect, there is violence to it but it adds a lot of intensity and flavour to the story.
GRRM is often criticized for putting realistic violence into his works of fiction, and I think you should read some of his responses to those accusations if you are even considering changing it! Shariyar is a violent man, he's sent 150 women to their death, it would be unrealistic and completely boring of him to coddle S.
tl;dr: Love this story, can't wait for the next part! Keep writing like you do!
This is such a good chapter! I'm in love. Honestly in love. Admittedly, I've been fantasizing about Shariyar for a two weeks now and this chapter...unffff. You're an amazing author. I second the person below me - don't quit writing this! It's so juicily good<3
Can't stop fantasising about shariyar like anon below damn keep it up
Any word on when you're going to drop the much-awaited Chapter 4? :) I had a dream that Shariyar made Scheherazade a necklace out of the trinkets he made her take out of her hair, to apologize- then I woke up and remembered that he's a psychopath and has a long way to go before he's human again. Love your work!!!
The real story is found in 1001 Arabian Nights. I think it's interesting how you took that idea and made it into your own. Very cool.
I've just submitted the next chapter for review, so it should be posted within the next couple days. Thank you to all who have written to me and/or posted comments.
The good news just keeps rolling today! I can't wait to read Chapter 4, thanks for the update!!