All Comments on 'Screwup!'

It sounds to me as is Dan was set up!

Well written.

<p>At first I thought, Dan wasn't setup at all. Then the more I thought about it I wondered, "Was he?" It seemed Gordon from the story kept putting his wife in wierd situations with Dan and didn't act at all surprised that Dan agreed to seeing his wife strip. Then having his wife in one part of the car, and not acting at all surprised that Sharon got in the front seat between him and Dan, and no one thought it was odd that it was three people in the front seat and one slightly drunk person in the back by herself?</p>

<p>The strip tease, the fact Sharon didn't want anything of substance from the divorce, and the speed that Sharon and Gordan hooked up, all seemed to point to Sharon and Gordan having a hidden motive. It might just be in my mind, but it seems like this is ripe for a sequel. That Dan and Dale may have been setup to make them the bad guys.</p>

<p>But of course those could all just be weird coincidences as well and Sharon and Gordon could be innocent and just found each other after everything exploded. Curious of what your plans are with this story. Very intresting one</p>

-Risq

Well done. People think they are invincible when young. They learn that actions have consequences. Good story.

I was al ready to cold cock his tall arragont ass when short fat Gordon beat me to the punch. He got what he deserved and so did she. The two that deserved better got better. Tall isn't everything. I'm 5'6" but I am built and love to put six footers in their place. C4 comes in small pakages and Gordon and Sharon sure did...hey tall man ...bend down so I can smack you one...

Sharon's reaction to the stip tease by dale seems ODD at first. Still the key is the fight. Thats an awful BIG risk to take to set this up. why have it? Gordon could of just as easily hit him Once and said something like "we are over... you are dead to me "... or something Just as dramtic.

readers are saying "Sound like me and J.... and B... and G...

Dan and Dale....Setup!...Sequel!....Revenge!...'Nuff Said!

The writer seems to have a poor grasp on the common rules of grammar and punctuation. Additionally, he didn't have a firm grasp of where he wanted to take the story line. The dialogue is overly formal and stilted, except in the places where it was too juvenile for words. In short, the "writer" needs some writing classes and considerable study of the English language.

You did a good job of telling a story of consequences of our actions is not always what we want.<P>Thanks for the entertaining work<P>PT

A lifelike consequential effort that was well written and appreciated.<P>

Humans can be stupid can't they - so the divorce rate indicates. Its either a poor initial choice of mate for the wrong reasons or selfish subsequent actions oftentimes involving another idiot.<P>

I admire your direction Author.<P>

With High Regard

Great read, I enjoyed the hell out of it.

You and Dale had the hots for each other, go ahead and make int permanent.

He wanted Dale, so now he has her.

Hell it doesn't make any difference anyway. All women are the same, some just fuck better and like it.

If you find a woman that likes getting the old cock then you're ahead of most men, I've always said.

Thanks for the good story.

Rich

Well he has no one to blame but himself. No real reason for the affair since it sounds like Dale wasn't even attractive and he loved his wife. But now he will live in misery which is what he deserves.

Oh and BigDaddyRick is such a douche.

That be the way of it when you gets caught dancing the wrong kinda dance. Five Stars that were well deserved. Thanks for your story.

You play you pay. He loved his wife but somehow thought screwing his best friend's wife wasn't going to bit him in the ass. He lost the woman he loves and his best friend for what? A tawdry affair with someone who by her description doesn't hiold a candle to Sharon. And now he is stuck screwing Dale while imagining she is Sharon.

Gordon talked his wife into teasing him, he got a kick out of it. Sharon was always quiet after they were all out together.

Gordon called him a Motherfucker and strangely - so did Sharon who supposedly didn't curse. Coincidence?

What are the possibilities that Gordon and Sharon were baiting the two of them - remote, sure but the same cursing, the refusal to talk, the immediate departure and the timing of divorces. Sharon always quiet?

Anyway, you cheat - you pay, I just think Sharon and Gordon were too quick to hook up and then - was it just now?

He was a fucked up friend that fucked up his and another duds marriage

Mag, you may have intended to just do a quicky with the results of the two spouses hooking up and - you bet, that would hurt...but -

You wrote nothing about Sharon and her feelings of love and as Anonymous wrote...

Sharon always quiet after the four of them were together.

Sharon calling him exactly the same thing as Gordon, however unintended - it seems that they were set up and it was too easy after Gordon kept Dale teasing and showing her boobs. Didm't take too long, a few hours, for a loving wife to pack and leave? Filing immediately for divorce?

Anyway, like your stories.

Thanks.

and payback revenge is added to the punch, TK U MLJ LV NV

That's what happens to cheating spouses. They fucking lose. Fuck 'um.

I agree it came a bit too easy for them to be pushed together - get caught - be labelled the same way by a pair that immediately get together and are married who did not try to burn them down in the divorces either -

As Gibbs would say there are no coincidences -

Nice work -

Sounded, at first, like a set-up, but what would be the rationale? Why would the 'non-offending' couple (or either one of them) try to foment an affair between Hubby and Dale? Only stretch I could find half-way plausible would be if it started out as a test of fidelity (that the horny pair failed repeatedly!).

Whose wife turned in to a fuck slut whore and he ended up with the left overs.....loser....

He didn't think about 'His Sharon' when he was cheating on her. If Dale can cheat on her husband with him, what makes him think that she will be faithful to him? Gordon got the better half of that deal.

There is s saying

Don't shit on your own doorstep. Exactly what they did IN the story.

very good presentation... the real world. 5

So many LW stories start with the physical descriptions. The amusing ones are by the writers fantasizing that they are the hunky lady killers. The better stories deal with the thoughts and ideas of the characters, fitting in with erotic pleasures they pursue.

???

Cheating can cost you everything. You deserved it. Good for Gordon and Sharon.

Yes, it does sound like they were set up, but they made their choices. It was refreshing to read a story about a cheating husband and how fast his life implodes.