by sack
No matter how hard he tried to think of himself, life kept intruding andtil he finally understood what Christmas was about.
Good job!
Sack:
Your story is about a minister who has temporarily lost his moral compass. Events cause him to again find his way and get back on course. There will be some who may rant about him not confessing his sins of comission to his wife: What use would the confession serve? Shared guilt? She had been ignoring him, he had been ignoring her. The sin is his to live with forever more. He will have his talk with his God and his God will give him the strength to mend his ways because in future days his shame will keep him on the moral straight and narrow. The would-be suicide and the young burn victum are his slap in the face to pay attention to his duties and to forget his venal side except with his wife. Thank You for a story that should cause some soul searching. Ronnie W.
I loved how the minister took the lessons he learned from his own situation, the jumper, and the burn victim and used them to make an impact on his parishioners. Well written, Sack!
and being a christmas tale..two things I found off set...imho...first I was stopped by first page women..instead of woman..a spell chek fupa...nit...
then as a man the use of hard core discriptions on a spirit write is distracting to someones heartstrings...here is my secret stash site..for finding metapor words to use in place of explicit ones..other than that ...outstanding...blue
http://home.epix.net/~jlferri/sexrom.html
Just leave it at that! I can't get as profound at reviewing this as Ronnie did-can only say I enjoyed it. I' thinking the score should be the same as Nonny and it will be but right now I'm thinking Nonny is the ONE! Nice job Sack-once again!
but woke up too late to comment before I left. You remind others with this story, Dave, of the good there is, of helping someone else instead of always thinking of yourself. Being in the retail biz, you see a lot of selfish gotta have, gotta buy and it kind of wrecks the meaning of Christmas for people. This story makes me remember more important and wonderful things. Oh and your writing is really good too...lol.
Read my stories under Dr.T at Preggoman.com or Kristen Archives.com. This fantasy story is EXACTLY why this boy converted from "Christianity" to Judaism. Most preachers are hypocrits and this one is no exception.
iT IS A SMALL PRICE THAT ONE HAS TO PAY TO SEE ONES SELF AND TO GET BACK TO LIFE.WE ARE HERE FOR A SHORT TIME,MAKE GOOD USE OF IT. HAPPY TIMES ARE JUST A DEED AWAY.
is really what mattered in this one. it took tragedies that turned it around. even though there wasn't an actual confession on the ministers part, the sermon made up for it in that it was from the heart. and sometimes it takes the human side of things to really make a difference. this is a story that isn't about putting money in the plate to make things better, and that is something that makes it wonderful. nice job sack....don
..but somehow..it just didn't work for me. I'm well aware of the fact that alot of religious leaders are hypocritical but the way you portrayed the preacher even after he supposedly got on the right track wasn't at all what I guess I picture a preacher should be. Especially if he's trying to inspire holiness in his parishoners. Anyhow you still wrote it well and made the point. :) Good luck.
I liked the sermon, and enjoyed the sentiment of it...
"Everywhere you go create joy"
...wouldn't we all be better off if more of us tried to do this?
That we are all human; even people of the cloth. Nice story. Good luck!