All Comments on 'Second Job'

by Undergroundz

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Epiphany_Jones over 7 years ago

It's like one of those games where you race to find ALL the shit that's fucked up in a paragraph!

"You know i try, all the time. Even with extra cases, the debts I have... I do my best." He exhaled. He heard himself and couldn't stand the whine her heard. He found the center of each eye and touched them with his voice. "I love you Jess. But I don't know if I can get together each month the money you want."

"...her heard." "...found the center of each eye and touched them with his voice." "...don't know if I can get together each month the money..."

Wow. If shitty writing was gasoline, you could drive from Florida to Oregon on this story alone. In a Hummer. Towing another Hummer.