Secret Diary of a Trans Call Girl

The phone rang. I clamped down my quivering lips and picked up the phone, making sure my voice came out sultry and sexy -- the one of someone in porn videos.

"Hello, this is Amanda speaking."

"Hello Amanda, are you available now?"

"Yes, I am available, sir. "

"How much do you charge?"

"$250 As you know, it is sensual massage."

"Sure, Can I meet you in half an hour?"

"Yes, that will be wonderful."

"May I have your address?"

"1016 Nelson St, room number is 203." "See you soon."

The moment I hung up, I instantly ran to the mirror. I smeared a thick layer of red lipstick over my mouth and coated my eyes in dark, smoky eyeshadow.

My long, black hair tumbled down my back like soft silk and I changed into a matching lacy, purple bra and panties. I would've preferred to spray myself in mysterious Parisian fragrances, but I was forced to settle for a $5 fruit body mist from Victoria Secret.

With every second that ticked by on the table clock next to my bed, my lips became drier and drier.

Knock-knock

I didn't have to guess who that was. It was my guest for the evening. This man was my first client. I had spoken to him on the phone a mere thirty minutes ago, but I had never seen his face. Knowing that he was currently standing on the other side of the door sent goosebumps all over my body. I sneaked over to the door to peek through the peep hole. The sight of his silhouette made my heart stop.

The wooden door was now the only thing between us as I began to reconsider what I was about to do. Should I open the door? Not open the door? If I don't open the door, maybe he'll just go away. As I stood there with a million thoughts racing through my brain, the man knocked on the door again.

I opened the door wide, willing myself to hide how much my heart was beating or how I had kept the man waiting a bit longer than I should have because I was so nervous. That is how I came face-to-face with my first ever client. I felt my soul escape my body as I faced him.

A middle-aged Caucasian man in his 40's stood on my doorstep. He was short with a round, portly belly. The moment he saw me, he greeted me over-enthusiastically, flashing me over incredibly white front teeth.

"Nice to meet you, Amanda. How are you?"

"Likewise, I am fine. Your self?"

"It's nice to finally meet you."

I gave the man a small, suggestive smile and spoke in a delicate voice.

"Go to the room, Sir?"

Having his nod of consent, I led him to my dark and small room.

As I barely had enough cents to rub, a massage table was out of the question. I had done my best to make it look as professional in the ads, but at that moment, all I could give my first client was a cheap mattress from IKEA.

I wondered if he had showered before he came, because I detected a slight hint of a pleasant fragrance coming off of him. Not exactly to my taste, but knowing that I was alone in a dark room with a man I just met for the first time was enough to make me wet down there.

The man took off his tie, shirts, pants, and then finally his underwear before handing them all to me, as if I were his wife who had waited for her husband to come home after a long day at the office. But the moment his naked body laid down on the mattress, I went from wife to professional massage therapist. I poured a generous amount of oil and moved my soft, delicate hands all over his body that was covered all over with thin, blond body hair.

The man's naked body stayed absolutely still on my mattress.

I massaged him thoroughly for a long time, but his short build made the job rather easy. Perhaps he got impatient or maybe just tired of pressing his face onto the mattress, because after about ten minutes, he suddenly got up and turned his body to face me. His blue eyes were full of obvious lust as they stared at me.

I didn't want him to be able to see me so clearly, so I instantly reached forward and took off his glasses, placing them carefully on the table next to the bed.

That day, I had put on my makeup as thick as I could, because I hated the idea of him recognizing me in case he saw me in public. Imagine if we were to run into each other out on the street! Wouldn't that be awkward?

Perhaps he was angry that I had dared to touch his glasses. Maybe that was why he suddenly placed his large white hands on my cheeks.

With a slight tap on my face, he said,

"You are very beautiful, Amanda."

What could I say to that? How should I respond? All I could think to do was give him a dainty smile.

I don't know whether it was us being in the same room or my hands pressing all over his body, but there was no denying the large erection that the man was sporting as a result. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. To be honest, it was a little exciting. But up to that point, I hadn't even touched it. Who knows? What if he really was here just to receive a simple, innocent massage?

But after a few seconds, I realized my own stupidity.

He didn't even try to hide it. In fact, he spread his legs even wider, as if he were proud of his lust for me. He dangled his genitals in front of me, asking me in a deep voice to take it in my mouth. I failed to move, simply fidgeting on the balls of my feet as realization began to sink in. He impatiently pulled me towards him and -- without so much as a warning -- shoved his tongue into my mouth.

While he was kissing me, one of his large hands immediately sank into my panties and grabbed my penis.

However, to me. that was most embarrassing moment of my life. The moment I was reminded that I was till physically a man. My face flushed an unflattering red and my entire body stiffened, as if it were suddenly made of hardened wax. I stood there in his arms, not moving and hardly daring to breathe. But his hands were gentle, as if he were comforting a little child, and he leaned in to whisper into my ear.

"Amanda, it's alright. I love that there's something special about you."

Those words were surprisingly reassuring and I felt my stiff body melt again, as if the wax candle had been lit by a flame.

I always hated seeing my naked body. I hated seeing it in the mirror. I wouldn't even turn on the lights all the way when I took a shower.

And yet, here was my first client, telling me my body -- in its natural man-like state -- was beautiful and special. He went so far as to admit that my penis excited him even more.

I felt as though I had just been smacked and didn't know how to respond. The fact that this man found my repulsive body beautiful gave me a sense of relief and confidence that I had not expected.

I no longer felt bashful as I took off my cheap dress. I stood naked in front of him.

With even more lust, the man grabbed me and kissed me all over my body. He licked and sucked every part of me as if he were in some marathon race that he had to win.

It was so physically exerting for him that I could feel sweat beads running over his body. The smell of his skin and sweat was very erotic that soon wafted throughout my room.

Even after spreading his saliva all over my body, he was still hungry for more. He demanded that I stand on the bed. I did as my client wanted, taking off my heels to stand on the bed on my bare feet. Without warning, he got on his knees and took me in his mouth.

I could feel myself entering his throat slowly. The moment I hit the back of his throat, he sped up. I didn't think. The only thing I could do was look down at him through hooded eyes.

The sight of this white man -- who up until tonight had been a complete stranger - on his knees in front of me, looking so happy as he sucked my penis brought out every nerve in my body, like butterflies fluttering inside.

Then suddenly, a strange feeling came over me. It suddenly dawned on me: to this person, I was worth something. I had made this man excited. I had turned someone on with my body that I hated so much. For the first time in my life, I realized...I was somebody.

Tonight was my first night as a prostitute. But at the same time, I felt somebody had accepted me as a woman, even if it was only for a short moment.

That felt...pleasant. As if to show my gratitude, I slowly lowered my head in between his legs, taking him into my mouth inch by inch. That was my first time giving a blowjob. It smelled like sweat and tasted sour in my mouth.

Then with no warning, he cried out suddenly. His sour cum filled my mouth and spurted down my throat. Feeling shocked, I immediately ran to the bathroom for my peppermint mouthwash. I rinsed my mouth once, twice, I don't know how many times. With the cool aftertaste in my mouth, I walked out as if nothing had happened.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come in your mouth."

"It's okay. You are healthy, right?"

"Of course. I'm married and I don't have any STD's."

"That is good to know."

"Sorry, I should go now."

It was as if a candle had gone out and broken the spell that had encased the room only minutes ago. The man suddenly looked embarrassed as he picked up his clothes and ran out of the room.

Stomp, stomp, stomp.

The sound of him escaping down the stairs followed me as I ran back into the bathroom. I snatched my heavily-scented body wash and spread it all over my body. I scrubbed myself until my flesh felt raw, like a person gone mad.

The moment I stepped out of the shower, I made my way over to the chest of drawers standing in my room. I hadn't even bothered to dry off as I opened the drawer and ripped open the white envelope the man had handed me earlier.

There, crisp and real, were two $100 bills and one $50. I took those bills into my hand and clenched them into my hands, feeling their stiff edges crinkle in my hand.This was the first time I had earned money of my own. The first time my efforts had been recognized. The first time I felt value in my work. So what was this shameful guilt that was coming over me? I felt like Judas who had betrayed Jesus to the Romans.

Still clutching the $250, I put on a thin coat and walked out into the open streets. I walked all over the neighborhood, not knowing where to go. Yet my feet seemed to be leading me somewhere, like they had a mind of their own. And before I knew it, I found myself into an empty cathedral, my footsteps echoing off the vast walls as I walked in.

Upon entering, my eyes fell on the crucifix statute that hung at the very front.

As soon as I saw it, I knew He was seeing me. The bloodied flesh of Jesus looked down on me, his eyes overcome with pain and disappointment.

It was almost a blessing when the tears came, blinding me from the statue as I knelt in front of it to pray. I begged to God, pleading Him to forgive me for the immeasurable sin I had committed. I slowly reached into my pocket and took out the $250. I took one of the $100 and slipped it into the donation box. With a mere $100, I bought His forgiveness -- not for the sins I had committed, but the ones I knew I was about to commit. As I turned away from the statue and walked away, I felt my footsteps drawing closer and closer towards an endless darkness. The new world was dark, cold, and dangerous, but I couldn't stop as I opened a new chapter in my life. That chapter is what I am about to share with you. Come back next week if you'd like to read it. But only if you are ready.

Copyright © 2021 by Amanda Wu