All Comments on 'Secret No Longer Ch. 17'

Wife and husband set this up with him not confronting wife about affair with neighbor. In real life marriage,friendships,and father son relationships would all be trashed. Good story so far.

Please, not another damn cuckolding story where the husband forgives in this case the ultimate betrayal.

I would think that Fred would do everything in his power to destroy his adulterous wife and traitorous son, not to mention how could he not possibly see the involvement of their friends. This story had potential early on but has deteriorated to the point that it will be nearly impossible to salvage, even in theater the audience must be able to relate to the story and it looks like you are trying to force an alien point of view on the audience. Adultery and Incest are totally unacceptable in any society and incest is criminal in all modern societies that I'm aware of.

Reading through this again, I can't imagine where you are going with this.

Although incest stories can be considered erotic, when no one is emotionally destroyed; in this story it seems the husband is conspired against from the very beginning by all parties. From the look of it I find it hard to believe that the wife loves him in anyway other than to provide money and a place for her to continue her adulterous/incestuous ways. The only thing I see when reading this story is pain and humiliation and now the neighbors seem to be conspiring to make him a willing cuckold, but it's your story you can do with it as you please.

but I'm having a bad feeling Fred is gonna get manipulated into accepting all of this.

Well hear me author: if this marriage is going to survive, THERE HAS TO BE NO MORE SECRETS between Fred and Linda. I wonder if Linda will tell him all, but with I'm expecting, she won't; like the four some with Jason, Carol & her brother, the party. etc.

Nah, she won't tell him.

This story can be summarized by the following points;

1. Linda is having an affair with Janine (adultery 1) 2. Fred uses his son for his own voyeuristic pleasure (dumb!) 3. Linda, with Janine's help, embarks on a consecutive affair with her son (affair 2) 4. Linda, at her son's encouragement has sex with boundaries with Jason's friends...while stating her 'greater love' of her husband (adultery 3) 5. Linda consumates her third act of adultery....didn't take long for the 'boundaries' to vanish 6. Fred discovers her affair with their son, and overhears about her group sex session. 7. Fred feels responsible for her infidelity!!! (really dumb) 8. Fred forgives Sammy when he finds out they knew of the incest from the start (wow! what a great friend!) 9. Linda happily accepts that Janine and Sammy should use a mixture of truth and sex to make Fred a willing cuckold, and even tells her to make sure her and Sammy have some time away from Fred to enjoy themselves (Isn't the reason for their visit to see him...or to vacation?) 10. Linda has shown not one iota of remorse, at any point...she knew Fred discovered her affair with Janine, and now with Jason.....zero emotion...So where is the love?

The writing style is sensitive, the story has no emotion.

Plays, books and stories are meant to interact with the audience...monotones are not very inviting.

Hope the next one is better

<p />There are some very good points raised here. One is that I've neglected to some degree the feelings and thoughts of characters within and among themselves that did not specifically pertain to the outcome of the story, but which should have been included to make the characters more real, more human and more interesting, which would have improved the story over all. (I'll mention that the story has changed directions radically over the course of its writing, and in fact, was really only going to be a little two- or three-chapter romp until ideas and very gratifying feedback came along, for which I am very grateful. I can't retract and rewrite earlier chapters, but that's really part of the fun of it, though sometimes frustrating when I have to find ways (sometimes hokey) ways to get myself out of a jam.) There are some exceptions, though, which I'm surprised to see did not come across, particularly Linda and Jannie when they reluctantly end their affair, when Linda's shift from appalled to intrigued by the idea of sex with Jason frightens her, and chapter 7, where she is terrified at losing control (and is the one place where Jannie gets right in her face).

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About other matters raised: most of these, and their consequences, are exactly what are about to be raised in the following two chapters (Sir, were you looking over my shoulder...? :-) ) while Linda's issues are going to take center stage in the chapter following that. Posting times have been running on the order of a week, but they'll show up.

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I do question one of this person's comments, that Linda shows no emotion when informed she and Jason have been caught. First she passes out, cold. That's pretty emotional. After that she's in a kind of partial shock, only half-conscious of the further conversation, and in the end is in mortal fear of what will come later. It's too early for tears. (Which is another little quandary of mine; how to get emotional intensity across without making it come off a soap opera.)

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Something that rather mystifies me is how many comments seem to overlook Linda's psychological changes from chapter 7. I have tried to stress, more and more, how after she had been torn apart by the forces of right and wrong within her mind for a long time, she snapped, and gave in to one side, the bad one (the other way, there wouldn't be much of a story!), and grew adept at suppressing the moral objections from within her mind, referring to a metaphorical wall, which will figure into a later chapter. I'm not sure how I could have made that clearer, and helpful comments on that will be appreciated.

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I'll just mention cognitive dissonance and the different (and contradictory) coping mechanisms for it. Linda's is (roughly) a case of this happening, but in the extreme, pathologically so. (I also plead mercy if this isn't strictly accurate. I am not an expert in the field, and this being a just-for-fun creation by a non-writer, I can't justify the time for hours of research.) I believe this is realistic. Part of the suggestion came from the case of Deacon Brodie (the real-life inspiration for Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde), modified from a continuous oscillation between the two contradictory states to a case of a single switch, persisting for a matter of weeks, and then crashing back, leaving the character worse than appalled at her own behavior.

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Also, frankly, too many chapters without some good sex can annoy readers, and I don't blame them. This is Literotia. ;-)

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Finally, I very greatly appreciate the kinds of comments I'm seeing here, even strongly critical ones like this one. These are thoughtful ones, encouraging and helpful. Those "this a buncha bullshhit--yuou suck" comments can be tiring.

In longer stories character development is a must, as is none of the characters are likable or identifiable. The story still has potential as you are definitely talented, I truly hope you can pull this one out. I agree with the comments below to the extent that the wife really comes off as a slut who only cares for herself and the husband comes off as a complete idiot, the friends seem to only want to involve the couple in some sort of perversion of marriage and finally the son comes off as a selfish,perverted shit. But as I've stated the story is far from hopeless and I believe you can still turn it around. Please take your time and make the characters a little more human and the emotional impact of the events that have already transpired a little more real(or at least as real as fiction allows). After reading the authors comment I'm looking forward to see how this truly messed up marriage turns out.

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It looks like I have dug deeper holes for the "bad" characters than I intended. Trying to make the scenes of their sexual depravity good and hot may have backfired. Throughout all this I wanted to avoid painting anything of significance as all black or all white, but maybe that wasn't quite how it turned out.

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It all hinges on Linda's mental state during that time. The Linda before Chapter 7 would never have come close to succumbing to her later temptations, even though near the end she found dealing with them painful enough to ask Jannie for support. However, the Linda after Chapter 7 was by no means helpless.

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She, like every human being, was caught between her convictions and her desires. But she had suffered a psychic trauma (of, admittedly, my invention) that shifted the center of her strength radically, and facilitated an suppression mechanism which, though involuntary, was not invisible or beyond her ability to override by conscious choice, though enough of that to be painful to her. That's where her humanity is defined, in that middle ground, where the point of balance between her responsibility for her choices and the stress attending them is found.

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There would be no story if it were otherwise.

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It's true that I drove her use of the suppression mechanism very hard, partly for the scenes themselves, and partly to make her inevitable crash stronger. That may have made her come off irredeemable. The crash begins in chapter 17 (this one), but because the chapter is occupied entirely with her conversation with Jannie, there's no inner dialogue. Look to Chapter 20 for that to begin.

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As will be stressed repeatedly in the next two chapters, somewhere between flatly excusing her and flatly condemning her is a region of multiple gray areas, all calling for careful and dispassionate review, and it will be up to persons--one in particular--to get past extreme emotional stress and become that dispassionate. I'm not saying if he succeeds totally, partially or at all.

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It might be interesting to note that Fred was meant to be a fairly minor character. It's when the story evolved to where so much of the story came to impinge directly upon him that it became necessary to elevate his prominence and do some catch-up on his development.

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Stay tuned.

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(Note: Readers eager to see Linda stomped into the mud are advised to forget the rest of the story. Never will I ever glorify vengeance in a work of fiction. She may get her family back; she may end up on the street; but it will be consequences, not vengeful retribution, that determine that.)

I agree with the author that vindictness for it's own sake is not called for. In all of this Jason has had no attention, he was the one peeping on his mom and Janine, he then entered into an affair with Linda...all accecptable as it's an incest story. However, he then decides, now that she is in his clutches, to exacerbate her infidelity by passing her around his friends. His statement that 'you were a real hit' which he says proudly just shows how little respect he has for his father, his parents marriage and ultimately his mother, who he views as a trophy or party favor. Will Linda or Fred come to the same conclusion when all the facts are laid bare? His lack of remorse just underlines that, he turns ashen that they were caught, and quite cheerfully claims that Fred won't throw them out....is he that stupid or just arrogant? I hope that the next few chapters will also address this

From reading this story through a couple of times I believe Fred and Linda are redeemable characters even if they are deeply flawed, Jason however from his actions and words seems to be irredeemable and is the true villain of the story.

Sammy and Jannie are a bit of a quagmire as they seem to be more interested in establishing a sexual relationship with Fred and Linda than to be merely good friends(but I may have missed something). From the authors statements I believe Linda has had some sort of emotional crisis that can be rectified and I believe from the statements Fred made to Sammy that he is truly trying to understand and forgive his wife. It will take a few more chapters to get the characters sufficiently developed to continue with any meaningful relationship (IMHO), and I do hope everything will work itself out for the main characters. Erotic stories don't always have to end badly for the main characters and I believe this story can end well for most of the characters except maybe Jason, unless I've missed something.

I also agree with the comments made below, but I don't think that Janine is that innocent (and less of a quagmire). In Ch 5, when she seduces Jason in front of Linda and Jason and his mom have their first sexual contact, it's all under her guidance. She is the one responsible for the breakdown in Linda's moral compass. Looking forward to seeing what comes next.

I think both Linda and Fred are quite redeemable. I'm not really sure that Sammy, Jannie are though, it depends on how the author chooses to develop them. Jason is completely irredeemable though, through his words and actions he is completely and utterly disgusting. The marriage of Fred and Linda could be saved if Linda comes to her senses as I believe Fred truly wants to forgive her as indicated in the previous chapter, but he will also need help from someone other than Sammy and Jannie, unless of course they decide to truly be friends instead of conspirators. This could be a great story if the readers are able to identify with or at least like some of the characters, as of this chapter none of the characters seem real or likable with Fred and Linda being the two closest to being likable.

It's funny to read that the biggest cheaters always bring "love" into play. They require their partner to love them enough to overlook their cheating, but fail to realize that their lack of love for their partner is what turned them into cheater. Because if I really love a partner, I don't cheat and most importantly, I don't commit incest!