Secret Santa Pt. 01

"Why would you get something from Meredith?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. "I was your Secret Santa?"

Mike looked confused. "Meredith was my Secret Santa, and I was yours."

I cocked my head, confusion consuming me. "No...that's not what it was."

Mike took out his phone and opened the group email that the receptionist, Jennifer, had arranged. She'd done some random draw thing to pair us all up, then we'd given our gifts to her and she'd dispersed them anonymously. In the email was a table, outlining who we were chosen as a Secret Santa for. Only Mike had been privy to the pairings, just in case any inappropriate gifts were given and things could be traced back, but since I was in his office all of the time, of course, I'd had a snoop so I could get ahead of the game. I mean, if I drew someone else, it would have been a bummer and I'd have probably just bought them something cheap and crappy from the list, but I was over the moon to see that I'd drawn him. I hadn't even bothered to open the email from Jennifer regarding my match when it came days later, because I'd already bought Mike's gift by that point. As he brought the spreadsheet up, I leaned over his shoulder and pointed at his row.

"See," I said. "Right there. It says I'm your Secret Santa. Mike"--I tapped my finger on his name, before tracing it along the row until my own--"Maria. See, I was supposed to buy you a gift."

"No," he said, while following the same line with his finger. "That's saying I'm your Secret Santa."

"Oh. No, wait, what..." I hesitated while swallowing nervously. "I thought that meant I was supposed to buy something for you. I thought we were like a pair and we bought each other something." My eyes rapidly scrolled down the table. "This can't be right."

"That's not how Secret Santa works," he said with a chuckle. "That would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? Didn't Jennifer tell you who you had drawn? She was supposed to email everyone individually."

"Uh, yeah, I guess." I was so focused on the table, that I wasn't really listening to what he was saying. "I've never done this before. I've never really worked somewhere like this before." I pouted again, somewhat disappointed that I'd screwed everything up. "How is that even secret anyway, if you know everything that was sent and to who?"

"Yeah, I know, it sucks," he said. "It used to really be secret, but then we had some problems with HR because one of the guys sexually harassed a girl with a gift that crossed the line. I had to fire the idiot because he bought her lingerie. I mean, what was he thinking? Now they want everything out in the open so that doesn't happen again." He looked at me shyly. "I mean, obviously, we're not going to tell anyone about what I bought you, right?"

"Yeah, of course..." I trailed off as a thought occurred to me. "Wait, if you didn't get my gift, then who did?" I looked back towards the screen as panic set in, and I could already feel my heart quicken in its beat. My blood was pumping through my veins as I imagined one of the other staff members opening Mike's gift. Whoever received it was surely going to make fun of me. I swallowed a mouthful of saliva as I considered how embarrassing it would be, but then, I felt lightheaded as a certain possibility occurred to me. "Oh shit!" I clamped my hand over my mouth, then stared at Mike with wide eyes. "Imagine I--"

"What?" he asked, laughing as part of the joke. However, when I was still looking at him in a panic, his face dropped. "What? Maria? What have you done?"

"Oh my God," I said, as I began shaking all over. "Oh my God."

"What is it?" he asked, as his own panic began to rise. "Calm down, and tell me what you've done." Mike's forehead was already beginning to collect beads of sweat, as he quickly scrolled down the list. When he settled on my name, he squeezed his phone tightly, almost to the point I thought he was going to snap it in half. His eyes closed for an extended blink, while he let out a deep, devastated sigh.

"What?" I asked anxiously, shoving him in the arm. "What is it?

"You drew Alyssa," he said, almost in resignation; my worst nightmare coming to fruition. "You were Alyssa's Secret Santa."

"Whaaaaat?" I asked aghast, as I leant in close and blinked a few times while looking at the table. "You can't be serious." The possibility of drawing Alyssa had scared me shitless, but seeing it was a reality left me almost keeling over.

"Have they already given out the rest of the gifts?"

"I don't know," I said as my mouth ran dry. "I just, umm, took yours and left while Jennifer was still handing all the others out. I just assumed you'd received mine and were going to use one of the vouchers later."

"Vouchers?" he asked with curiosity. "What sort of vouchers?"

"Oh....nothing big," I lied with a gulp, already stressing over the ramifications of what I'd done. The last thing I needed was Mike knowing the full extent of my gift and getting on my back over it. He was a total stress-head when it came to people discovering about what we'd been up to. "It was these fun little playful IOU voucher things. You know the sort, like, you can, ummm, use this voucher to go make me a coffee and stuff. I thought it would be fun between us?"

He blinked while he was processing what I was saying. "It was all innocent though, yeah? I don't remember that being on the approved list of gifts."

I thought back over all of the racy suggestions contained in that booklet. "Yeah," I said with a shaky voice. "Yeah, definitely innocent. I just thought the list was boring, so I went for something a bit more fun." My fingers were shaking so much, that I interlocked them behind my back. "Nothing to worry about."

"Phew," he said while wiping his forehead. "The last thing we'd want is her running her mouth off to HR. She's a bleeding snitch. Do you know how many emails I get from her tattling on everyone else? She's been at me for weeks to fire you!"

"What?" I asked in complete surprise. "Fire me? Why? What have I done?" I knew Alyssa had it in for me, I'd seen enough of her complaining emails myself, but I never realised it had reached the level where she'd wanted me fired.

"She's still not over losing out on that promotion to you and she's constantly complaining about you being unprofessional and unqualified. It's like she can't let it go."

"Well, that's pathetic," I said with a snarl. I'd been bloody supervisor for weeks by this point, and she still wasn't over it? She'd caused such a drama when I'd been appointed instead of her, but I figured that was just sour grapes and eventually she'd just accept it. "She really needs to get over that. I won that promotion fair and square."

Mike didn't say anything, but instead, he just blinked, before cocking his head and staring at me, almost with a squint of disbelief.

"What?" I asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence. "What's with that look?"

"Really, Maria? You know as well as I do that I pulled loads of strings for you to get that. She's way more qualified. I put my neck on the line giving you that job. I'm just glad you annoys me about it constantly, and hasn't gone over my head to anyone."

I scoffed. "Yeah, right. I was a much better candidate than her." I was way better looking and had a much slimmer figure for a start. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see that. Whenever we had to arrange meetings, I'd catch the eyes of any male clients, and unsurprisingly, they'd want to go ahead with the contract straight after. Alyssa acted like she actually played a part in any deals, but it was blatantly obvious that they only signed up to see me again.

Mike scratched his head, and seemed somewhat bemused.

"What? Don't act like she's better than me."

"She might be annoying," he said. "But she's good at her job. You can't take that away from her."

"Whatever."

"Anyway." Mike suddenly let out a light-hearted chuckle. "You actually scared me for a moment there. I thought you'd sent her something dodgy that was going to get us both in trouble. I had like a flash, where I was seeing Alyssa calling up my wife and ruining my life."

"Do...do you think she'd do that?" I asked with hesitation while tilting my head, my throat becoming dry as the entrails of a mounting anxiety began to take its grip. My back was beginning to perspire as my thoughts were flying everywhere, various consequences to the can of worms I'd opened ravaging my mind.

"Who knows," he said with wide-eyes. "If you were helping to feed the homeless, she'd probably snitch on you because you didn't check their dietary needs. She's a stickler for the rules and doing everything by the book. She's even had a go at me for not keeping an eye on the recycling bins in the kitchen."

"But...you're the boss."

"Yeah, and that makes me extremely vulnerable if I cock up in some way." His finger flicked between the two of us. "If anyone got wind of what we've been up to, well, that's curtains for me." He shrugged. "Probably for you too."

"But I need this job," I whispered. My eyes were lurching back and forth while I considered how much of a problem Alyssa could be if she figured out that gift was from me, and even worse, who it was actually meant for. I was hoping that she was the sort who didn't actually care about Secret Santa and would refuse any gift. I mean, it was just the sort of thing that she constantly complained about, as if a bit of fun should be illegal while at work. But, if she did actually figure things out: what was she going to do?

"Anyway," he said. "I feel sorry for you the most."

"What? Why?" I asked with dread. "Should I be worried she'll do something?"

He squinted and looked momentarily confused. "About what? I just pity the fact you're going to be fetching Alyssa coffees or whatever else is in your silly gift." He adjusted his tie and gave a good old belly laugh to himself.

Meanwhile, I gulped as the many vouchers and their various kinky redemptions flickered through my head. Alyssa wouldn't actually use them, would she?

My weekend was spent biting my nails, worried about what Alyssa was going to do if she figured out the gift was from me. I thought about calling her and trying to straighten things out; getting ahead of the game, so to speak. However, part of me felt that would only draw attention to my guilt. I mean, what if she really didn't have any interest in receiving the gift? She surely would once I'd called her and piqued her curiosity, wouldn't she?

Once Monday came around, and after I arrived at the office, I immediately looked over at Alyssa's desk. Just seeing she was there was enough to send the nerves dancing around inside. I'd spent a good hour the night before, sat up on my couch, glass of wine in hand while I practised a number of excuses that might be able to help me clamber out of the hole I'd dug for myself. I even used my mother as an echo chamber to reassure myself that things weren't as bad as I feared, though, obviously I didn't tell her the whole truth.

Most excuses I am up with were useless, and I realised that I really only had three options. The first was to just be totally upfront about everything and hope that Alyssa was willing to keep things secret. Unfortunately, with the way she was, this seemed unlikely. If anything, telling the truth was only going to make things worse. Another option was to pretend it was a joke in bad-taste. That may work, though depended on Alyssa's mood that day. The third option was to just play ignorant and act like nothing had happened. If Alyssa hadn't opened the gift, and had no intention of doing so, then this may have been the safest play. However, considering the fact I'd hardly slept over the weekend due to worry, there was always going to be a lingering anxiety that she had opened the gift, figured things out and was calculating how to destroy me.

Over the weekend, while rehearsing an excuse, I'd curse myself for including that damn card along with the gift. If it had only been the booklet of vouchers, I probably could have got away with it as a bad joke between women. I mean, Alyssa probably would have snitched anyway, but at least I would have only received a quiet telling off. I could have even played it off that I didn't look through the booklet properly, or, that I had intended for it to be used between her and her boyfriend, if she even had one.

The matter of the card blew that reasoning out of the window. The evidence was there, clear as day, and scribbled in my own hand. There were sordid and illicit connotations to the gift. It wasn't just a gag; it was intended to be used between lovers. Lovers that existed within our company dynamic. Mike was the only male in our office, and he was married. All Alyssa had to do was take that card to Jennifer, and between them, they'd figure out that it had come from me. They'd figure out it was a seedy gift from myself to Mike, and then, all hell would break loose.

As a result, my first port of call Monday morning was Jennifer on the front desk. There was still some small part of me holding on to the hope that she hadn't actually distributed all of the gifts yet. Alyssa was a despot for leaving bang on time, refusing to stay behind and work overtime; unless I orchestrated a situation where she had no choice. She was also harping on about how workers were exploited and we needed to stand up to the man, and all that stupid crap. Therefore, since I'd received my Secret Santa gift about half-hour after closing, while Mike and I were waiting for Jennifer to shoot off, I hoped that maybe Alyssa had already left before Jennifer had handed out everything. If so, there was a tiny, fractional chance that I could intercept my Secret Santa gift before Jennifer had already distributed it. I could rectify this whole situation before it became a predicament.

"Hi Jen," I said with an apprehensive smile, though trying to remain innocent and cordial. "How are you this morning?"

She looked up from her computer and adjusted her glasses, before smiling upon noting it was me. "Great, how's yourself?"

"Yeah, all good." I picked at a pen that was on top of her desk, trying to act casual and laidback, but likely appearing the total opposite. "Errr, I was just wondering"--I tapped the petal of some flowers on a potted plant--"if you gave out all of the Secret Santa gifts yesterday?" I still pretended to play with the petals, before I looked up nervously and awaited her answer.

Jennifer furrowed her brow. "Is there a problem? You got yours, right?"

"Oh, yes," I said, perhaps a bit too quickly. "I was just curious about everyone else."

"Right, okay." She looked at a list on her desk. "Yes, everyone else received their gift yesterday." She paused for a moment, looking confused, before she laughed and added, "Ummm, except Alyssa. You know how she is. First out the door."

Instantly, my face lit up, and I had to take a breath before coming over all giddy. I hardly wanted to let the cat out of the bag that I was relieved she hadn't had her gift yet. But, I was truly excited at the possibility of getting it back and remedying the whole problem before it had even evolved to something else. Mike was still blissfully unaware of the perilous situation I had put us in, but, I'd proudly inform him once I'd dealt with it. "Yeah, that'll teach her for always leaving bang on time."

Jennifer then smiled. "Yes, she went the whole weekend without it, but she had hers this morning, so everyone is happy."

With that revelation, my face immediately dropped. "Umm." Of course, she always left on time, but she always arrived on time too. She'd already got her hands on the bloody present before I'd rolled in.

"Is...is everything okay?" Jennifer asked, turning her head with concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost?"

"Oh, umm, nothing." I swallowed with a notable lump. "I was just thinking of something better I could have bought for someone and was going to try and change last minute, but it's no big deal."

Jennifer nodded. "Everyone seems pretty happy with what they received, as far as I know."

I fingered the flower again. "Even...even Alyssa?" I kept my eyes on the flower, as if I wasn't even interested in her answer.

"I think so." She seemed pretty confused. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, you know how she is."

Jennifer cackled and flapped her hand at me. "Maria, lighten up, will you? I'd stop worrying. She was over the moon, as far as I'm aware. She's been smiling to herself all morning, so I think you did good." She gave me a thumbs up, which caused me to blush considering she obviously knew what I was insinuating around. I should have seen it coming, especially since she was the one that had compiled the Secret Santa list in the first place. She was the one that had hand-delivered what could only be construed as leverage, straight into the lap of my company rival. If Alyssa made a big deal out of the gift, well, Jennifer had the evidence that I'd sent it and I'd have no leg to stand on.

Still, I couldn't let on that I was terrified. I pretended to wipe the sweat from my brow. "Phew," I said. "That's a relief. I was worried I'd missed the mark."

Jennifer rolled her eyes behind her glasses and flashed a sarcastic smile. "It's just a bit of fun. Don't take it so serious, Maria."

I brushed it off, but, for the rest of the day, I couldn't help but peek out of my office towards Alyssa's section. She certainly seemed to be in high spirits, almost smirking at her monitor screen. I spent the whole afternoon refreshing my emails, convinced that I was going to receive something from HR. Whenever the phone rang, I'd flinch and panic, taking a deep breath before answering as I braced for the inevitable scolding that was coming my way. However, after hours passed by, no consequences seemed to be coming, and Alyssa herself didn't appear to be making a move either: I couldn't fathom why. Though she occasionally glanced up towards my office, to which I would pretend I was busy working, she didn't make a peep. It made no sense to me.

Once people began to leave the office, I watched with baited breath as I waited for Alyssa to leave right on closing time. I was hopeful with delusion that maybe she hadn't actually opened the gift yet, and I could swipe it from her desk. I waited and waited, and the office dwindled down, till I eventually realised it was just the two of us left. Even Mike had left without checking in on me, obviously rushing off to spend some time with his family.

I was still sat at my desk, peering out of my office window towards Alyssa while she clicked away at her mouse and tapped her keyboard. To the casual observer, she was just doing her job, but to me, her mere presence spoke volumes. This was Alyssa, after all, the company irritant and hair-splitter, who never, out of her own choice, stayed after hours. Yet, here she was, freely sat at her desk, ten minutes after she was supposed to have buggered off home. On top of that, she was smiling to herself, a calculating smirk settled on her lips as she idly rolled the mouse around her desk.

I thought that maybe I could wait her out, but once we rolled onto half hour over closing time, I knew this wasn't a coincidence. Alyssa was deliberately hanging around and waiting for me to leave my office. That in itself was terrifying, because she was obviously hoping for a confrontation; she had opened the gift and figured out it was me. I knew it in my heart, and suddenly, I was terrified of stepping out there and serving myself up to be torn to shreds.

Eventually, I realised I had no choice but to make the first move, unless I was planning to pitch a tent and stay overnight. Alyssa was stubbornly camped out at her desk, and I reluctantly gathered my things and headed out. I even considered just breezing straight past her, pretending like I hadn't noticed she was even there, and offering no attention to the brewing conflict between us. But, I knew that wasn't really an option. If I acted ignorant, then the problem was just going to fester and get worse. I needed to be the bigger person and get in there before things escalated. Clearly, evidenced from her presence after hours, she knew what I'd done, and she was waiting to confront me.