Secret Santa Pt. 01

As I stepped out of my office, I tried to muster the courage to finally face Alyssa over the mistake I'd made. In my head, I was hoping that there was some hidden part of her personality that I'd never witnessed before. A carefree, laidback girl that would maybe see the funny side in all of this. That she'd assume I was just joking around and the pair of us could giggle over my wit, maybe even bond. However, as I approached her desk, and saw her usual scowl scornfully aimed in my direction, all sense of hope abandoned me. "Umm, Alyssa," I said, as I walked up to her; the confidence draining from me with each step. "Could we"--she raised an eyebrow and I was immediately thrown out of my stride--"ummm...could we...umm...talk about something?" I cleared my throat. "Please?"

Alyssa was quiet for a moment, simply staring at me while I squirmed before her desk. I could feel the heat inside me rising as each passing second unnerved me further. "I was wondering how long it was going to take you," she finally said matter-of-factly. "I've seen you looking over all day. You're really panicking, aren't you?" Despite being a couple of years older than my youthful age, she was still only in her mid-twenties and her light, ebony skin was enviously smooth. For that, I was somewhat jealous, as I'd always been a little self-conscious about my freckles. I mean, I was beautiful, there was no doubting that, and my body was gorgeous, but still, I had this thing about focusing in on the little details, and my freckles had always been a gripe. I'd even suggested to Mike that he pay for laser treatment for me, but he had quickly changed the subject when I'd mentioned using the company credit card.

Alyssa's skin was so smooth, and looked baby soft, especially amongst her sheening hair. Sometimes she'd turn up to work with her hair in a kind of wiry afro, but ever since my promotion, she'd been wearing it straightened out into braids, almost like she was trying to compete with me.

"What...what do you mean?" I said, trying to act like I didn't know what she was talking about. I was hesitant to just come out and confess, fearing I might let slip about something of which she wasn't actually aware; namely the fact I was fucking the boss. I had a habit of sharing too much information, and sometimes my mouth could be my own worst enemy.

She let out a breathy sigh, the same way she did whenever she was about to chastise me about one of my projects and pedantically point out some minor mistake I'd made. "Don't play dumb, Maria. That was quite an interesting Secret Santa gift you gave me, wasn't it?"

I immediately blushed, and collected my hands in my tummy, my feet side by side. I almost felt like I was stood outside the principal's office and awaiting my fate. I'd known there was a possibility of this outcome, but still, I was shaken to the bone as my worst fear manifested. "Umm, I'm sorry about that," I said tentatively, heading into damage-limitation mode and reciting one of the speeches I'd rehearsed the night before. "I know I missed the mark. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I should have read the room on that one."

Alyssa bit her lip and nodded while watching me stutter and awkwardly shift from foot to foot. She looked me up and down as she seemed to enjoy my embarrassment. Usually, whenever she was making a scene and complaining about something I'd done, I'd wave it off and swiftly make my escape. Now, however, I couldn't do that, because that stupid gift had changed everything. The moment she'd opened it and realised the hidden meaning behind it: I'd been put in an extremely difficult position. While squirmed beneath her judgemental glare, I felt like I was about to receive detention. "It was extremely inappropriate, wasn't it?"

"Yes," I said, while dropping my head in shame. "That's why I came to apologise."

More lingering silence, before Alyssa eventually tutted and said, "Well, go on then. Get on with it." There was a lethargy to her tone, as if she was considerably bothered by my whole existence.

"I'm sorry, Alyssa." I waited for her to say something, but when she continued to remain silent, I peeked up and added in a squeaky voice, "I'm sorry for buying that inappropriate gift for you. I thought it would be funny, but I guess not."

"Great." Her expression was void of all emotion, othering no inkling to what she was thinking. "Will that be all?"

I looked up in surprise. That couldn't be the end of it, surely? I mean, this was Alyssa we were talking about. She'd never miss an opportunity to make my life just a little bit more difficult. Would she really have been willing to just forget about all of this? Part of me just wanted to step away and hope for the best. Now that I'd apologised, maybe that really was the end of it. However, the other part of me needed confirmation. Even though I was risking making things worse, I couldn't face the idea of heading home knowing my fate was still hanging in the balance. Alyssa was just the sort to say everything was fine to my face, before firing off a catty email behind my back. "Is it cool, if, we kind of, you know, not tell anyone else about this?" I couldn't even bear looking her in the eye as I nervously asked that question. "I'm kind of embarrassed."

In response, Alyssa gifted me back a prolonged, uncomfortable silence; even worse than all of the ones that had come before. The longer I awaited some words from her, the more apprehensive I became. My back was already sweating while my legs were shaky. Eventually, unable to bear the tension anymore, I peeped up, and was mortified to see that Alyssa was sat with her arms folded, chewing her lip while smirking. "Well, as much as I'm enjoying seeing you squirm," she said, while standing from her seat and grabbing her handbag. "I really have somewhere else I need to be."

"Could you...errr...spare me a few minutes?" I asked in desperation. Now knowing that Alyssa had considered the full implications of my gift, I needed some kind of resolution to the dilemma. I couldn't bear the thought of having to suffer through the trepidation all night. I mean, I'd be laying in bed awake, convinced that Alyssa was at home, composing an email to HR and ready to destroy my career before it had hardly begun. We both knew it was inapprapropriate that I had sent it to her, and there's no way that the human resources department would look on my actions favourably, especially with the bloody card I'd included!

Alyssa smirked so subtly that it was barely visible. She seemed amused by my fidgeting, whereas I was extremely edgy. Her eyes were so white and bright against her dark skin. I never liked being around her at work on the regular, mainly because she was always such a drag. Once she'd gotten hold of my phone number, she'd been haranguing me endlessly in attempts to bother Mike with trivial issues. You know, the kind of thing that really wasn't that important. What colour something should be, whether a particular paragraph was suitable? Who honestly cared? It was stuff that didn't really matter, but she always made a big deal out of it, acting like the client actually gave a shit about stuff like that. On top of that, everyone had to be careful when speaking to her, just in case you let her in on a bit of information that she might later use against you. She was like an archivist when it came to office dirt, and she was more than willing to wield it in her favour.

One example was where I had asked for leave to attend my grandmother's funeral. Now, technically, on paper, she hadn't been my grandmother, but she was the mother of my step-mother, so, by all accounts, as far as I was concerned: she was my grandmother. I mean, I'd hardly known the woman when she'd been alive, since I barely spoke to my father, but still, I hadn't been about to miss an opportunity for some extra time off work. Though, according to the law and all that, as she had been the mother of my father's new wife, well, we hadn't actually been related. Anyway, my leave request had been approved by Mike on account of the passing of a close family relation. Truth be told, he'd barely given it a glimpse before signing it off.

Upon my return the day after the funeral, Alyssa had queried how the funeral service went, and I had explained how it was an emotional and solemn affair. As I had sniffled and poured my heart out, she'd nodded along and seemed concerned. However, her face had suddenly shifted as I'd casually mentioned that even though my grandmother had been my step-family, she'd always felt like a blood relation.

Alyssa hadn't said anything at the time, but I'd noted a change in her expression. That afternoon, I'd been called into Mike's office to clear things up. Of course, he had waved it off, because why wouldn't he? If anything, he had seemed annoyed that he had to talk to me about it, but I'd been on my guard around Alyssa ever since. She was a rotten snitch and couldn't be trusted at all.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow," she said, speaking as if she were the supervisor. "Maybe we can have a meeting about it? Get some of the higher-ups in especially. I'm sure the whole office would be interested in what you deemed a suitable Christmas gift for a colleague. You know there's a list we're supposed to stick to, right? It seemed everyone else managed to do so, apart from you."

"No," I said while reaching out towards her. "Please, I'd really like to get this sorted out between us. Right now, if possible."

"I'm sure you would." She took a step towards the door. "But I have other, more important matters to deal with." She looked me up and down with an air of disgust. "So, you'll just have to wait until I have time to deal with your inappropriate gift and"--she screwed her face up in disdain--"especially that vulgar message you wrote with it."

I swallowed, and felt a wave of shame wash over me as I imagined Alyssa reading that racy card I'd enclosed. My lips trembled as I muttered, "Alyssa, please--"

"Tomorrow," she said in a forceful voice, causing me to flinch in surprise and bite my tongue. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, when I have time for you."

As she sauntered out of the office, I realised that she was now the one firmly in control and I was perilously on the verge of being unemployed. I was going to have to grovel, to Alyssa of all people, and my life couldn't have been any worse.

Mike called me later that evening to joke about whether Alyssa had used any of the vouchers yet. He was just messing around and poking fun at me, but I found my throat was becoming dry as I thought about Alyssa actually using any of those vouchers. The sorts of things they could be redeemed for, well, it was a most disturbing nightmare to picture Alyssa as the claimant. I thought about coming clean to him, wondering if maybe if he could use his position to keep her quiet, but he was already whispering his goodbyes while mentioning that his wife was home. "That's great, talk to you tomorrow, Babe," he said, before hanging up the phone.

Meanwhile, I was left alone in my apartment, knowing things were pretty far from great. Once my mother returned home from work, I thought about telling her too, but I was just too embarrassed. She had no idea that I'd been sleeping with Mike, and I could only imagine she'd be furious after the way my father had left her for another woman. It wouldn't matter to her that I had climbed the corporate ladder at rapid pace, and that I was the one now paying the majority of the rent every month.

As expected, I didn't sleep a wink that night. Every time I felt like I was drifting off, I'd imagine Alyssa and the way she had smirked while watching me stutter and squirm. She seemed to be revelling in having me caught in a sticky situation. We'd come to a head so much since I'd been given the promotion instead of her. Sometimes, as I was leaving Mike's office, I'd catch her scowling over at me with resentment. Of course, she was a complete two-faced bitch, so when we spoke, she'd always pretend that she wasn't jealous of me. However, the envy was clear in the way she'd narrow her eyes and scrunch up her cheeks whenever my name was mentioned, or how she'd make some pathetic snide remark regarding my work.

All kinds of daunting scenarios were floating around my head, as I considered the many ways that Alyssa may choose to respond. Perhaps she really would forget about it, but deep inside me, I knew her nature. There was no way she wasn't going to capitalise on my mistake. That's what she always did whenever I messed up in some way. She'd draw attention to it. She'd make sure that the rest of the team, and especially Mike, was aware of my mishap and how she'd swooped in to the save the day.

When I arrived at work the next day, exhausted and in dire need of sleep, I realised I was in for it as soon as I passed Alyssa's desk. Why? Because for the first time in a while, she'd didn't scowl. She didn't look at me with resentment. Instead, she smiled, waved and wished me a good morning. To everyone else at their desks, it seemed like a friendly gesture, but to me, it was terrifying. It completely broke down what was remaining of my composure, and as I slinked into my office, I could barely keep my thoughts straight. Why the hell was Alyssa so happy to see me? Was it because she finally had something on me? She finally had some dirt that she was going to use to ruin and oust me from the company. Maybe while I'd spent all night worrying, she'd been more productive with the time, plotting and scheming how she was going to play this.

As with the day before, I could barely concentrate on my work, and instead, I spent the whole day thinking up ways that I could try and appeal to Alyssa. All sorts of thoughts entered my head, with various ideas that would allow me to climb out of the hole I'd fallen into.

When Mike stopped in after lunch, and asked me to join him in his office for a bit of extra-curricular activity, I simply brushed him off, stating I was too busy. He looked mildly annoyed, before telling me to suit myself and disappearing back out of sight. Instead, I kept refreshing my email, convinced that I was going to get a message either from Alyssa, or from someone higher up in the company, calling me into a meeting regarding my Secret Santa gift. However, even though I spent the whole day practically pulling my hair out, not a peep came in my direction. It was like she was just leaving me to stew in my own soup.

As we neared closing time, I finally popped my head out. Most of my colleagues had already left, and my stomach was grumbling considering I hadn't even left for lunch. I was just too scared that Alyssa might say something in front of everyone else, fearful that she'd hold my gift aloft and get everyone's opinions on who it was actually meant for.

Just like the day before, Alyssa was still sat at her desk when I cautiously headed over towards her. She offered me the same smarmy smile when she saw me approaching. "Hello, Maria," she said. "Why are you looking so scared all of sudden?"

"I'm not," I said in a shaky voice. "Are you, umm, free to talk?"

"Possibly." She leant back in her chair. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Well, you know..."

"Actually, I don't know." She cocked her head and smirked at me. "Why don't you clear up the confusion for me?"

"Okay. I know there may have been a misunderstanding about the gift you received from me." While stood at her desk, I now felt like I was walking on egg shells, so things were even worse than usual. I hated ever having to work directly with Alyssa, and now I was being forced to interact with her face to face.

"Yes, it was certainly inappropriate," she said, while swaying in her chair. "I'd say it's definitely crossing the bounds of misogyny and sexual harassment, wouldn't you?"

I was already shaking from the terms she was throwing at me, but still, she hadn't mentioned the card again, or the fact that she knew the gift was actually for our boss. In that regard, I felt like just going along with whatever she was threatening was the best course of action, rather than drawing attention to the real problem amongst all of this. If she just complained about the gift being inappropriate, well, I could take that on the chin as I was sure that Mike would sweep things under the carpet. But, if I was pitted against Mike as our affair was revealed, well, that made me a lot more nervous. Just as I viewed him as a bit of fun, he probably saw me as the same, and if I was up against his family: which was he obviously going to choose?

My job was the main concern, as I was helping my mother pay the rent and honestly, I literally wasn't qualified to do anything else. I wasn't even qualified for the job I was currently doing. I didn't particularly care if I had to end things with Mike, but the job was something I simply couldn't lose. There was no way in hell I'd be able to bag another role with a similar salary and benefits, and I'd worked bloody damn hard on Mike to ensure I got that promotion. I couldn't be expected to start from scratch at another company. I mean, imagine being a receptionist again and having to work my way up the ladder.

"Are you wondering whether I've reported you already? Is that why you're over here bothering me when we should both be heading home?" She looked at me in disbelief. "I thought you would have already been out the door by now, you know, especially since you hate having to actually do any work."

"I just thought--"

"You must really be worried, huh?" she asked, and the same smirk as the day before returned. "You scared I'm going to tell someone about your naughty little gift?" She cocked her head, before rolling her eyes. "Or, are you more frightened that I might ask some questions?"

I gulped, my eyes flickering as I struggled to understand what she was suggesting. Was she making a threat? "What...what do you mean?"

"Well, who the gift was really meant for, for a start? I mean, you couldn't have possibly bought this for me, right? Despite being feeble-minded, even you're not that dense to think I'd find this amusing."

I glanced up and caught her eye for a second. She was looking straight at me, with her hands clutching the armrests of her swivel chair. There was no hint of her thoughts on her expression, or any inkling of her being uncomfortable due to her posture. If anything, with the way she was swishing from side to side in the wheeled, desk chair, she seemed nothing short of relaxed. As if my fate was all fun and games. "I'm sorry about everything," I said apologetically, dropping my head back down in shame and pretending like I hadn't heard the second question. "It was supposed to be funny, but I understand I made a mistake."

"Funny for who?" she snapped. "Mike?"

An electric spark shot straight down my spine, and as a result, my head snapped up in a panic. "Uh, Mike?" I licked my lips, then let out a fake chuckle. "Why do you say that? What does this have to do with Mike?"

"I mean, I was a bit surprised, thinking, like, why are you giving me this stuff? I've had my suspicions about the two of you, you know, why he gave you that job in the first place, and in particular, why he overlooks all of your faults. So, I started wondering what you were trying to achieve this with this gift? Do you actually have a guilty conscience and this is your way of confessing? Did you want to be caught in the act?" She smirked slightly. "But then I had a quiet word with Jennifer about who drew who, and it made total sense considering a ditz like you. You thought you were Mike's Secret Santa, right?" She rolled her eyes. "That'll teach you for skimming instead of reading. I have had words with you about that before, right? How inept you are at your job? You can't even handle something as basic as reading comprehension and yet you're supervisor."