Seeing the Police

If you have a warrant, an IP-address becomes a real address, unless the criminal is sufficiently advanced to have hooked onto an IP-hiding network, or so. As technical evidence and in the context of investigation, all amounts are equal.

Due to my personality-disorder, I am accustomed to being misunderstood, and I am accustomed to being unable to understand why others do what they do. Yet, no matter how often it happens, it still hurts.

Under force, I sat in the chair by the wall and was picked on by the police-dude. I guess I had a choice all along, to withdraw the report and ask permission to go home. At least, I assume I did.

Was that the point?

Was the purpose of his behaviour to chase me home without reporting the crime?

If that wasn't the purpose, then what was? Does the police do these things for fun?

We spent a lot of time in that interrogation room. It felt like hours, but I think it was only one, or a half. I had no clock.

In the beginning he alternated between asking questions and criticising my answers. A good deal of time passed that way. He made a big deal out of me not knowing the 16-year old's surname. He was hugely unimpressed that I had a business-card with the 16-year old's step-father's cell-phone number.

He mocked the name on the card. (What kind of a name is this?) This police-dude had a tendency for slow head-shaking and frequent nose-wrinkling. For the first time, he thrummed on his keyboard and said that the phone-number on the card wasn't registered to that name.

"Are you aware what this phone number is registered to?" he then asked.

"No," I replied, and elaborated that I really didn't know anything about that. That card was one I had been given by the kid's step-father, when he came by to check what kind of people we were --shortly after the (then not) 16-year old started coming to our home. I had used the number on that very card, to contact the very same man, when I, by going through the withdrawals from my credit-card, could narrow the amount of probable suspects down to one.

The letter from Fyns Politi is dated July 29th, 2009, the very same day I reported the crime. Near the end of the long interrogation, the police-dude said something about intending to call some days later, either to hear if I had found out the surname of the 16-year old, or to tell me that he had done it himself.

He didn't. Call me, that is.

Several days passed from the moment I first read the letter, till I realised what it actually said, apart from "...decided not to investigate..."

The full wording of the letter is:

"I have today, according to the "retsplejelov" (((Danish word referring to laws of administration of justice))) §749, stk. 1, decided not to investigate the matter of abuse of visa/dankort from your address in the period 290609 to 250709.

An eventual claim of compensation must hereafter be raised in by civil lawsuit. If needed, further information can be supplied by enquiry to the local judges office.

I have in my decision, primarily weighed that you have explained that your home is visited by many young people, whose names you don't know, and whom you allow to play computer. The misuse is of a smaller amount, and according to the informed there has been no loss, since all the money has been, or will be, returned.

You can complain about the decision, according to the complaint-guide.

The complaint can be sent to present police or to the public prosecutor, whose address is Kongevej 41, 6400 Sønderborg..

The time limit for sending in a complaint is 4 weeks from having been informed of the decision."

(quote end)

In spite of having been informed of my social-phobias, the dumb swine exposed me to an aggressive, degrading, interrogation for more than half an hour. (Excuse my choice of words, I am agitated.) And then he can't even keep the facts straight.

There has been no abuse of visa/dankort from my address. The scoundrel haven't had opportunity to do it from my home. The one or two times he has briefly been by and said hi, since the day the information has to have been copied while I was at the loo, he hasn't been sitting at one of our computers unsupervised.

Actually, it is rather impudent to come by and greet the victim amicably, while one is still abusing their credit-card on the internet. But, on the other hand, it's always cold-blooded to commit fraud, especially to people you know.

Personally, I can't put myself into those shoes. I'd never have done it, not even when I was 16.

"...many young people, whose names you don't know..."

He could at least have shown the courtesy to write "surnames". I am on first name basis with everyone I know. I don't ask people their last name, and have no reason to remember same last names if offered.

It is correct that, over time, a lot of young people has visited my boyfriend's home, which now is my home too. But, at the moment, there aren't many. In the weeks prior to the credit-card-abuse, there has only been, in total, four different.

Two 12-13 year old regulars, the 16-year old, and (once, accompanying the 16-year old) another 16-year old.

Thinking about it, I wasn't given a chance to tell how many had visited in the period just prior to the abuse. The only thing the police-dude wanted to know was how many kids had frequented the place over the years. And that number, that is many.

It just isn't very relevant. I have trouble imagining a child or a teenager, writing down credit-card information to store it for months, half a year, or longer, to only then start using it.

Apart from my personal trust, there is, in my opinion, two reasons the two 12-13 year olds are completely unsuspectable in the matter. First of all, they aren't old enough to figure out how to create a fake paypal account, secondly, I know their individual game-interests, and none of the small ones play the game which the hustler has used five amounts on.

Hence, one suspect, one 16-year old whose buddy is most likely in on the "game".

"...The misuse is of a smaller amount..."

Everything is relative. About 2000 crowns through paypal, about 1300 crowns on porn-websites, and about 200 crowns on the 16-year old's favourite online-game. All in all, fraud for over 3000 crowns (over 600 us dollars).

"...no loss..."

Financially speaking, I got off with a scare. There was a 3-400 crowns worth in withdrawals which I couldn't trace to a company, and hence couldn't get back. It might have been possible to get it back by "official objection" through the bank, but that would cost me 400 crowns in cab-fare expenses, so... Yes, 3-400 crows is less than it cost me to report the crime (400 crowns by cab = 80 us dollars).

"...no loss..."

He could at least have been so polite to write "no direct financial loss."

But, yes, since I discovered the crime, and discovered it in time, I haven't suffered a significant financial loss.

And, no, the crime wasn't immensely traumatising. It was a shocking break of trust, but, if not for the behaviour of the police, it probably wouldn't have kept me sleepless for long.

At the bottom of the letter a name is written by machine. It is decorated by a neat, handwritten, signature. Is that the name of the guy who interrogated me? I don't know. His name and face are still fully erased from my memory.

Vanished without a trace.

He wasn't old and he was of ordinary build. I wouldn't even be able to tell if he was in uniform or plain clothes.

Is he aware that the psychological abuse could have killed me?

Luckily it didn't. I think I need about 2-3 more rounds like that before I kill myself.

When I got home that day I wished I were dead. But I didn't do anything about it. If I had, I couldn't write this.

Believe it or not, but I'm ok intelligent, if I with finality decide to kill myself I will succeed in the first go. I am not the type to half-heartedly commit failed suicide as a means to cry for help.

I was once the type who cried for help for believing I was about to do it, but that is another story.

I am perfectly aware that the mere mention of suicidal tendencies is enough to make most people despise you, but that fact can't change that deathfantasies is one of the things that have helped me through the days since the interrogation.

When your stomach contracts so hard it hurts, and you are sobbing so hard that each exhale is a miniature scream. In other words, when you are hysterical due to emotional pain, it helps to think about death.

In this moment, right here and now, while you are sitting, or lying, or standing, you might have a lethal cancer and simply not be aware of it, because it hasn't yet displayed noticeable symptoms.

Normally that is a frightening thought. If you think too much about it, it makes your heart beat faster. Your fingers might start tingling a little bit and/or you might get a little dizzy and cold.

But, when you are really feeling bad because life sucks and everything looks bad, then it is a comforting thought. Not only that. If you really dive into the fantasy and think about the reality of death, I don't know if it's a scientific fact, but I swear, you can practically feel the calming endorphins. You don't get high or low, you just become emotionally numb.

(This is not a recommendation. I am fairly certain that deathfantasies are bad for you in the long run.)

Suicide-thoughts and deathfantasies. No, unless I am exposed to another severe trauma in the near future, I am in no danger. And, believe me, I will make sure to stay far away from the police-station, at least until the kommune (((Danish word for a local division, explanatory: a kommune has a Mayor.))) supplies me with a "support-person" who can hold my hand and make sure the bad, bad policemen doesn't treat me badly.

Personally I hope that I will never again need to set food in a police-station. Since I am a rather law-abiding citizen (and don't go out much) my chances of avoiding the police are pretty good.

If you are exposed to crimes, you can simply refrain from reporting them.

I thought I had an obligation to report crimes committed against me. (Seen from the next victim's point of view it is preventive.)

But, when the police puts an effort into scaring me into not reporting, shouldn't I then take it as a hint?

Unfortunately, I am the type of person who thinks, "What if..."

What if one day I'm raped? I don't get out much, so it's not very likely. But what if one of my (few) internet-fans should turn out to be a psycho and got it in his head to track me down and...

Deathfantasies or not. Under those circumstances, I wouldn't be able to survive the reporting-torture.

I am not very strong. The hardships of every day living often demands more strength than I've got. That in spite of me being retired. I don't think I could stand the shame of letting it pass unnoticed.

So what if?

It is a nauseating feeling when a crime is committed to one. It is even more nauseating that the criminal gets away with it. But, worst of all is the treatment which the police adds to it.

My view on the world has been turned somewhat upside down. My only personal experience with crime and police tells me that the police are worse than the criminals.

The police has done me more harm than criminals.

The criminals take what they want, or what they can get, it's not personal. The police makes it personal if you are stupid enough to report a crime...

No. I really hope there is something I have misunderstood. I misunderstand so easily. Almost as easily as others misunderstand me.

The glimpses. The further into the interrogation, the messier they are. The further into the interrogation, the harder it was for me to think clearly.

Was it about halfway through that he stopped asking questions which could in any way have any relevancy to an investigation? It's so messy. My replies must have been messy around that time too.

He asked if I had an interest in seeing the 16-year old punished. How he expressed it I can't say. At that time he had already been harassing me for a long time, and I had huge difficulties thinking coherently.

In the wisdom of hindsight, I wanna say, "You know what. Taking a stand on that matter, is not, at all, my responsibility." But that wasn't what I said.

I can't remember what I said, can't even remember if there was a longer exchange of words between his question and my answer.

I think I was defending my decision to report the crime. I did that at, at least, one point, I remember that much. Every time he mocked me for something, I guess I opened my mouth and defended myself as best I could.

It's human nature. When your back is against the wall, you defend yourself till you are broken or unconscious.

I get nauseous just thinking about it, but I'm not ready to repress it. Yet.

Well, anyway, as I was saying: I can't remember the route from his question to my final answer. But, in the end, my answer was that I had no interest in the 16-year old being punished.

Then the police-dude flipped over (metaphorically speaking) and harshly stated that, "If he is convicted he will be punished."

What I replied to that I don't know, I doubt it was as insightful as, "That is not my responsibility."

Whatever I said I guess it was fairly clear, for the police-dude changed the subject.

I can't remember the order of the next two subjects he took up. They were mixed into each other.

Oh dear. Just trying to remember what it was like makes me dizzy and gives me trouble concentrating. I was about to tell of two subjects, now I only remember one.

"How well do you know (the name of the 16 year old)," he said, about like that, and went on to ask how I expected the kid would react when the police contacted him regarding the matter.

Utterly confused, I asked what he meant.

The police-dude elaborated his question, asking if it was imaginable that the kid would get angry to be reported and what the kid might do about that.

Utterly flabbergasted, I said something like, "Do you mean, if he is likely to break in while we sleep, with a butcher-knife in hand? Or so?"

The police-dude then explained that he wasn't exactly thinking of butcher-knives, but young people could think up all sorts of stuff. He used the word "harassment", and pointed out that I and my boyfriend were extra exposed due to our situation.

Well, I ate that hook, bait and all. I started gabbling senselessly about all the things I could imagine, now that he had set off my imagination.

I blabbed and gabbled. I assume my rambling was quite coherent, although far-fetched. It's embarrassing to think of all the crap you say when you are under pressure and can't think coherently. Especially when you are me.

He let me ramble.

The starting-point of the rambling was that I hadn't foreseen that the kid might steal my credit-card information to swindle for thousands of crowns. Since I didn't know he might do that, well, then I couldn't know what else he might do. Meaning, from my point of view, he might do anything.

My imagination isn't just good, it's amazing, not to say hyper-active. If you ask me to think out the theoretic consequences of something then... Well, I am a 'What if'-person.

I gabbled. Gabbled about all the things I on standing foot could imagine that young people could do to harass adults to whom they held a grudge.

It feels strange to use the expression 'on standing foot' about a situation in which I wasn't permitted to stand. It is nauseating to remember that I was in a situation where I wasn't allowed to stand.

Yes, I have a good imagination, but the conclusion to it was that if a vindictive scoundrel should manage to turn our lives into a nightmare then we could always move to another part of the country. With that conclusion, I stood by my decision to report the crime.

To tell something chronologically, to tell something in the time-wise correct order. I can't remember the order of the part of the interrogation where the police-dude was focusing on the consequences of reporting. It is a mess in my memory. Maybe it was a mess in reality too.

I remember he managed to make me nervous about the consequences.

The police-dude put a lot of weight on this: If he was going to investigate anything, his first step would be to get in direct contact with the 16-year old.

I can't think straight. My stomach hurts and I am dizzy. I have to go further back. Back to the raw facts. The concrete and very tangible.

IP-addresses become real addresses if you have a warrant. Unless the swindler has used an IP-hiding network. The majority of the 17 amounts have been made by big professional companies. Professional internet-companies log IP-addresses and times of payment.

Before the reporting-interrogation, (before I went to the police-station), I had called the police. The police-dude I got on the line had told me that they didn't have time to investigate small cases, so small cases typically wouldn't be investigated. That is how it came to be, that when I went through the withdrawals I didn't just think about getting back my money. I also wondered if I could help clear up the matter.

I imagined that if the case was all set even before being turned over to the police, then they might investigate. It couldn't harm. Whatever I should find out, they wouldn't need to use.

After thorough consideration, I wrote one page of notes to the police. I called it 'informationer til politiet'. This is what it said:

(quote) Here is a list of the payments from which IP-addresses are most easily retrieved.

Regarding the amount 376,02 and the amount 188,01 both dated 01/07:

These two are paid through XXXXX, more specifically, they have been paid through XXXXX, which can be found on the website of same name. This company is easy to contact through phone:

tlf. +1 xxx xxx xxxx

The phone is answered by English-speaking personnel. They are in possession of date, time, IP-address and any other information supplied by x.

They gave me two IP-addresses, en for each withdrawal. Out of fear that I might have noted one or more ciphers wrong, I'd rather not convey these two IP-addresses directly.

(xxxxx is a company who specialises in transferring online payments between private persons and commercial websites, especially porn-trading websites use xxxxx.)

Regarding four different withdrawals of the amount 39,99 and one withdrawal of 49,00. All attached this information xxxxx.

"xxxxx" is an online computer-game, for which you can pay online.

They won't give out information to private persons, but informs that they are very co-operative toward authorities of a variety of nations.

They wrote this in an e-mail to me:

(quote) (((note this is a quote within a quote, this quote was originally in English, hence haven't been translated here.)))

If you feel it is necessary, you may want to contact a member of your local law enforcement agency. We do work closely with many Law Enforcement agencies and co-operate fully with any official investigations. All law enforcement agencies can contact us at XXXX@XXXX.com

(quote end). (((note end of a quote within a quote)))

Meaning, they are easy to contact by e-mail, in English.

e-mail: xxxx@xxxx.com.

(quote end.)

All in all, with the aid of one phone call and one e-mail, the police could get hold of 7 IP-addresses with attached time and date. That's as 'all set' as a case of internet-crime can be. If it should then turn out that the criminal was sufficiently advanced to be hiding behind an IP-hiding network, along with pedophiles and, (it is claimed,) diplomats, one could always cease investigating.

One can assume all sorts of stuff.

At some point in the early part of the interrogation, the police-dude cast a despising glance at first the 'informationer til politiet'-paper and then me.