All Comments on 'Seen at a Mall: An Allegory of Love'

and the story was interesting, if a little extreme. The sudden shift revealing the alternate endings was a problem for me - it might have been better to let one version of it move through to completion, then show the alternatives. I also think the third ending works by far the best with the rest of the writing. Two small quibbles - first, it is taut, not taught, when you are talking about something stretched tight. Second, her comment about growing the hair for her captor before you get to the alternative endings makes no sense as you have been building the story, and does make the reader (well this reader anyway) sigh and think, oh no, not another mock nonconsent story. That is a pretty cliched plotline in erotica. Anyway, I hope you write more, and soon.

More, and don't worry about scooby-do !

I loved the first ending. Very sweet, what a great Master.

But then again a darker ending where she stayed with him may have been great too, maybe a Chapter 2?

I liked the last ending the best.

enjoyed this, thanks

Being a hair fetishist myself, and often trying to include hair cutting if not head shaving into my stories, I found this tale wonderfully rich. You drew out the shaving and cutting just the right amount to cause tension, and not to loose interest. I too found that reference "that she'd been growing the hair out for you" a bit too telling. I definitely enjoyed the last ending the best as it fit better with the rest of the story. I was surprised when the abductor didn't take her eyebrows and lashes for cumming on his cock, which is what I thought he was threatening to do. Nice job, please keep writing.