All Comments on 'Segolene's Triangle'

Literate, philosophical ... I'll have to re-read more slowly.

This within the first few paragraphs....

"A mass of light red hair, agitated by the wind, fell in disarray about her shoulders."

Then

"Nora was still the well coiffed blonde with a fair complexion"

While women change their hair styles you refer to STILL the well coiffed blonde.

When there are major mistakes it generally means the story has not been well edited or checked and thus not worthy of reading further.

Segolene is a very intriguing character and I look forward to learning more about her.

You have a very good eye for detail. It adds a richness to nearly every sentence. Might be your Irish heritage. Might just be your skill.

Your descriptions of motorcycling are authentic and near perfect. The subtle details show a true motorcyclist as opposed to the Harley poseur crap that is most common.

Thanks for a very enjoyable read and a very promising new character in Segolene.

rj

Too lengthy start and phrases like 'finger up her twat' don't flow with the lead up to it.

This is a great story and I cannot wait for the sequel. One piece of advice is to proofread a little but more but it's not a big deal. One more thing if you are going to start a new story and have characters in it like this in the beginning you should be more deliberate about which character is which. No biggies just some advice. But other than that it was a great read and keep writing!

I DON'T CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT ABOUT SMALL ERRORS..... YOUR STORIES ARE #1 IN MY BOOK HELL I WISHED I COULD MEET YOU I HAVE A FEW TRUE STORIES THAT I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO WRITE...WISHED YOU WERE IN TEXAS

That was a hot, realistic read. You capture exceedingly well, the raw, emotional connection of two people who have that magical and mystical thing called ‘chemistry.’

Nice work!