Segun

"Yes. The Church has erased that because it is too convenient to blame the least powerful among us," said Papa.

I heard the truth in his words while breathing in his all-too-familiar scent. Papa hugged me closer.

"Would we live with the Unspoken who haunt the desert now? Don't you feel it? The call of the wind, sand, and sun?"

I blew out a breath. It was a dream, one that Papa repeated when he was sad, tired, or angry at Father. This fantasy gave him comfort at times of his greatest stress.

"No. I never have. Besides, you know we cannot live in the desert. The human part of us prevents that, and we would die in the relentless heat. And who knows if the Unspoken still live there? No one has seen them in many years."

"I think the Church lies about that as well."

I look up into his eyes with a wry smile. "Besides, what will you do without Father to yell at?"

Papa scoffed. "You are incorrigible."

"Rebus!" called Father. "Where are you? The food delivery is here, and I think it is short. Come, check it!"

Papa raised his eyes to the ceiling, kissed my head before moving off the bed, then stood at the door gripping the doorjamb.

"You would think you were not the Trademaster of an entire planet," he yelled. "Can't you check a single manifest?"

"I have, and I say it's short. Come check these numbers."

Despite my grief, I smiled. Nothing ever changed with those two. They would fuss, fight and love each other to the end of their days.

And then a pain stabbed me in the heart, and my breath hung in my chest. I would never have the chance to speak another word to my Aulkus, hold him close to my body, or love him.

On this day, I truly felt cursed.

I cannot do this. I cannot partner with Egan Roh. I would despise his touch, even in throws of heat. I would grow shrill and bitter and make that man's life miserable. There is no happy life for me without Aulkus.

I looked out of my window to Lake Veller and knew what I must do.

Rising from my chair, I slipped on an over cloak with all the stealth I could muster, made my way through the house to a rarely used side entrance, and walked away from my home toward the shores of Lake Veller.

Chapter Eighteen

Aulkus

I had gotten used to Onikoah's comings and leavings, returning at irregular intervals from the depths of the Ostakian desert where men dare not follow. But now was the longest time when Onikoah had not shown up at my door, and I found myself looking anxiously for him. I am bereft because I fear that he will not return. What has happened to him? Is he well, or did he fall prey to one of the many dangers of the Ostakian desert? Will he return? What will I do if he does not?

Journal—Captain Winston Veller, Governor, Ostakis Colony

The porter who witnessed my father and wife's indiscretion had reported the incident to his master. The hotel owner's face had turned red with embarrassment.

"Turn them out," he said.

The Cursed man regarded his master with pressed lips.

"I will. After I give my witness to our solicitor."

This was interesting. Our solicitor? How does this Cursed claim ownership of their legal situation?

"Bah," said the hotel owner. "It is not our business."

"Mikel, the stain is on our House if you do not report this to the church. They piously preach how hotels harbor sin and will boycott those that do.

"Which is how they control us," Mikel said bitterly.

"Please, for our sake, have our solicitor take my report and give it to the church."

Mikel flicked a gaze at me, and he swallowed hard. This conversation revealed too much of what went on between these two. No, the porter was not a just a porter or a lover taken in heat. There was a partnership here, and Mikel did not want that revealed.

"For the Lord of All's sake, Seneb—"

"This man is Aulkus Wren, who stood up for the Trademaster's son when no one else would. He will not gainsay us."

Mikel glanced at me again as if I might sprout two heads.

"Okay, I will send for the solicitor."

"And Yonsu Wren needs a place to stay. He cannot return to his home after the sin committed against him."

"For Heaven's sake, Seneb."

Seneb crossed his arms and gave Mikel a hard stare. "We have allowed sin to enter our walls, Mikel. We owe the man."

"You will be the death of me, Seneb. Go. Take him upstairs to the dormitory. That is the best I can do."

"Come, Yonsu Wren. You are our guest as needs be."

"Seneb!" snapped Mikel.

But Seneb had turned his back on Mikel, and the corner of his lips curled up in mirth.

"Do not mind, Mikel. He's been snappish since his wife died in childbirth."

"I am sorry."

"That was ten years ago. Time has not mellowed his temperament. Yet, I miss her, too."

"Excuse me?" This was not a sentiment I heard a Cursed man would have.

"Tippany was kind and gentle and loved us both. Mikel and I—" Seneb stopped and swallowed hard. "We found each other when we were teens, too young to know or care what it would mean for us—for him, to be so partnered. When his father insisted on the marriage to Tippany, I was afraid I'd lose Mikel. Instead, I found that a woman could love a Cursed man, too, just in a different way from how she loved Mikel. She taught me the foolishness of jealousy. She was a rare blessing."

"Then I am sorry for your loss as well."

Seneb's eyes shone with gratitude as if that was the first time he had heard that.

It probably was.

"Thank you, Yonsu."

We had reached the second floor. One floor above, I hear the rattling of luggage in the hallway. Sela scolded my father to hurry, foreshadowing their marriage to come, and I do not envy him.

Seneb looked upward. "I guess I do not have to turn them out, after all."

"Pity," I said. "I would have enjoyed watching the City Constable evicting them."

"Yonsu Wren," said Seneb with a hint of chiding in his voice. "I think your father has designed his penance."

"You are wise, Seneb."

Seneb ignored my comment. "You are here, for now. During the church holiday, we convert this dining room into a dormitory with floor pallets for single men here for the festival. All have checked out so as not to pay another day lodgings."

The cursed man opened the door, and I stared at the large room to the left, a long bar made of glassy composite sandstone commonly used for building materials. The far wall ahead harbored double doors leading to a veranda overlooking the street. I walked to the doors and walked onto the porch.

Below me, I observed the thinning of the festival crowds. The festival ended yesterday, but many visitors remained.

Seneb came up behind me.

"The festival has ended," I said. "Why are people still here?"

"The Shamings have ended, Yonsu. But there is a final cleansing at Lake Veller."

I restrained a snort. A Cleansing was another way to extort money from the gullible.

I walked back into the room and gazed at the pallets and trash littering the floor. Seneb frowned.

"Here. I will bring you clean linen if I can find it. The laundries have been frightfully slow."

"No hurry. I've no place to go."

"You need not. I will return—with the solicitor."

Seneb left me in the disordered room, and it seemed this place was a metaphor for my life. And since I was not a man to sit idle, and I have no coin to pay for my lodging, I decided to clean the room.

First, I gathered the trash—empty food containers and bottles and put them in the correct bins hidden behind the bar. Then I stripped the laundry from the pallets and separated it into piles—sheets, blankets, and pillowcases. Finally, I put the pallets upright against the walls to air them and stuck the pillow for each on the top.

There were no cleaning supplies behind the bar, but I found a single bottle of wine tucked in the back of one shelf. Even though it was not noon and I lacked breakfast, I helped myself to it and sat on the veranda overlooking the street, sipping the syrupy golden dessert wine. Its signature notes included a heavy yet familiar hint of raisins and toffee. I checked the label. Wren Tawny Port.

Of course.

Seneb returned with a tray of breakfast biscuits, fruit, and cheese. Behind him stood a heavy-set man with dark hair and eyes.

"Yonsu Wren, this is Yonsu Solicitor Pryce Hauk, Civil, and Church certified. He has taken my statement before my Yonsu."

"Thank you, Seneb," I replied.

Hauk raised an eyebrow at this familiarity.

"Please, sit," I said, waving him to a chair like this was my house.

Hauk did and took the biscuit and slathered it with fruit jam.

"I gather you are seeking a divorce," said Hauk.

"That would be a natural conclusion."

He nodded. "As the injured party, you are entitled to one. You have a witness, and his Yonsu verifies he is a truthful one." Hauk settled back in his chair and leveled his gaze at me.

"The civil divorce is no problem. All I need to do is file a few papers."

I nodded.

"But the Church divorce is expensive."

I sighed. "I am a man turned out of my home and livelihood. I have no money."

Hauk looked away.

"Is there no one from which you can borrow the money?"

"My father abhorred debt and had not developed lines of credit. And, as I've said, I am no longer part of that business."

Hauk pursed his lips.

"No one?" He said pointedly.

Anger rose in me. Did everyone in Kiji Ost know of my assignation with the Trademaster's son?"

"No," I said firmly.

Hauk snicked a disapproving noise.

"If that is your decision, and I cannot sway you, I'll take my leave. At least I will file the report with the Church should the matter come up, though I advise, for the price of this biscuit, that failing to take action puts you in a bad legal position. Your wife could disavow the affair, and you'll be liable for her upkeep and her child while enjoying the pleasures of other men. You would do well to reconsider your options."

Hauk finished his biscuit in two bites and stood. "Good day to you, Yonsu Wren. I have a partnership contract signing to attend to." He bowed and walked to the door, then turned and looked over his shoulder.

"It's for the Trademaster's son and one of the Trademaster's apprentices."

I sighed.

"I am aware. I thought the contract had been signed."

"There is an agreement, in principle, but not officially. Not yet."

Seneb appeared at the door again.

"Yonsu Wren. You have a visitor—Trademaster Klath."

"This is interesting," said Hauk.

"Did you ask him here?" I accused.

"No, Yonsu. I am surprised as you are."

Klath rushed into the room and stood at the veranda door.

"Wren," said Klath in a panicked voice with all politeness and civility stripped. "My son has disappeared from our home. Please help me find him."

"I haven't seen him," I said.

"I know this, Wren. But he bears your child, which creates ties of which you have no idea. When Rebus was pregnant with Segun, I knew where he was always. If you look into your heart, you'll know where to find Segun."

Chapter Nineteen

Segun

Father of All, ruler in the heavens, temptation took hold of me in a moment of weakness. Have mercy on me. I succumbed to earthly desires. Relieve me of my sins. Absolve me of these demons. Cast your judgment so I may feel the warmth of your light once more.

Prayer of Supplication—Faith Progressive Church

I tire even before I reach the shores of Lake Veller, though I have ventured far from Dastoan Heights. At least I think I'm outside my district, as the houses have become smaller and squatter, and shops appear more often.

With my body covered in a full robe with a hood over my head like so many of the citizens of Kiji Ost, to protect against the piercing rays of the burning sun, no one notices the Cursed man passing among them. No whispers or pointing fingers marked my passage. It is as if what I was had no consequence.

Here, people toil to earn their living. A potter worked clay on his wheel. A woman wove a tapestry outside her door. A man drove goats through the dusty streets. A man hawked sandwiches from a food cart.

Here, past the stately houses of Dastoan Heights meant nothing. That was a place where the wealthy and powerful lived apart, but having no understanding of the toil of those on whom their wealth rests.

To my left, the spires of the Faith Progressive Church rose higher than any other structure in Kiji Ost, seeking to blot out the Ostakian sun like it seeks to blot out the existence of my kind. It is a monstrous institution, and I do not see how people can feel sanctified praying within it.

A rotten fish stink infests the air and grows thicker the closer I come to the lake. The odor sickens me, and my stomach churns, and I'm reminded of the child inside of me that had hijacked my body in order to grow. My hand goes to my stomach, but I'm determined to reach the lake.

Have my parents found me missing? I've lost track of time, and I do not know if the appointment for the partnership ceremony had come and gone.

It matters not. I will stand in the waters of Lake Veller and demand of the Father-of-All why I should suffer my fate. Why would He bring Aulkus into my life and rip him from me? Why would the infinite Creator allow the creation of a people that are half alien and half indigenous people and then declare us sinful?

None of it made sense, and we Cursed were practical people. I will have my answers.

I passed by a stone quay where small boats bobbed in their slips. Water lapped against the shore in a gentle whisper. Overhead, a gull wheeled and screeched. The colonists had brought many animals in nascent forms, and the most convenient of these were birds since their eggs held up well in suspended animation. Though not proven, it is said some intern hid a dozen of the gulls' eggs for the colony's mission, but from those dozen birds descended the current population that hovered over Lake Veller, hunting fish in the artificially stocked lake.

Ahead, a knot of people gathered, and clerics in their black robes moved among them. With horror, I realized they were collecting tithes, and I had no currency.

I turned to move away when the man who stepped behind me smiled.

"Yonsu? Where do you go? Do you not want the blessing?"

My heart thudded as I pulled my hood closer about my head. What if this man discovered I was Cursed? What would the churchmen do to me?"

"I, I lost my wallet."

My cheeks blazed at this lie, but the man refused to move out of my way.

"No worries, Yonsu. Judging from your clothes, you are a man who can well afford any blessing. Since this is the last day, I will advance the levy on your behalf. It will double my blessings with the Lord-of-All."

"There is no—"

But a cleric had reached us, and the man gladly gave up double his money to the churchman.

"For him and me," he said with a smile.

The cleric grunted, took the money, and handed the man two bands. My benefactor handed me one, then fastened the other to his left wrist, and I did the same.

Another person greeted my benefactor, and he turned to engage in a lively conversation with his friend. I took to opportunity to push my way through the crowd to stand at the second row of people about to step into the water.

One by one, they go to one of three clerics in the water, who ask what prayer they bring to the Lord-of-All. The churchmen's faces are hidden by their hooded robes, a convention signifying they represent not themselves but our Creator in this vital service to the faithful.

After the last of the first row was properly dunked and prayed on, they waded out. The clerics waved a fresh crop to them for their ministrations. Though my heart skipped beats at the blasphemy of what I was to do, I waded through the chilly water to him.

"What is your petition?" said the cleric from under his hood.

I froze. The voice was frighteningly familiar—Thyenn Sharr's.

I swallowed hard and looked behind me for escape, but the crowd was thick at the water's edge, and the three clerics stood waist-deep before me.

"Hurry, man," said Sharr with annoyance. "Others wait."

The insolence of this supposed man of God sparked a fire in my heart, and I pulled down my hood.

"Is it the sin in your heart that makes it all too easy to declare people innocent of any crime an abomination before the Lord?"

Sharr's eyes widened.

"You!"

"Yes, me."

His rough hands grabbed me and shoved me under the water. I thrashed as my ears and nose filled with water, dulling hearing and preventing breathing, but Sharr did not relent. He intended to kill me!

Then there was another thrashing in the water, and Sharr's grip broke. Another set of hands hauled above the water, and I found Aulkus, my Aulkus, holding me tight to his chest while Sharr's head bobbed above the water.

"Thank you for performing this blessing on my pregnant partner. It is truly magnanimous of you. The House Klath will contact you soon regarding the legal proceedings to accomplish my divorce from my wife. Come, Segun, let's get you home, dried, and put to bed. You need to rest, love, for the sake of all of us."

Chapter Twenty

Aulkus

Onikoah visited today after a long absence, and I was glad to see him, though I didn't expect his gift. The Ostakians had given us much since we arrived, and they gathered the courage to welcome us. After the Earth resupply ships failed to arrive, I thought we'd die. Our corporate sponsor made many errors in this colonization, but overlooking the native Ostakians was the best one. Without their help, Ostakis Colony would have ended unlamented among the thousands of Colony worlds Earth flung into the galaxy.

We still faced problems. Many women and children died in those first desperate months, and no surviving colonist women had conceived. The inept corporate scientists don't know why. Ostakis may die yet.

Or we may not because Onikoah's gift may save us.

My handsome Onikoah looked up with his warm brown eyes laced with gold that now brimmed with distress and tears. He offered me the bundle wrapped in native cullen silk.

"Ours," he said in halting English.

Why do I insist on calling Onikoah "him" when the best pronoun in English is an inadequate "they?"

"Our baby, my Yonsu, cannot live in the desert. Must be with you."

My eyes misted seeing the squirming child whose face looked like mine.

"You stay too, Onikoah. We both need you."

My lover smiled with relief and happiness.

"Yes, my Yonsu."

Journal of Captain Winston Veller, Governor, Ostakis Colony—Date: Landfall—Ostakis Day 450

I took Segun before his pregnancy advanced with me to my father's lands to retrieve my belongings though Papa Rebus objected. Segun looked with wonder upon the broad lands of Wren vineyards and the grapes maturing in long rows on their trellises.

"I am sorry," he said. "You gave all this up for me."

"I've given up nothing. I am still my father's eldest child and will inherit all this upon his death. And so will you as my partner. I signed papers to that effect."

"You did? And you did not consult me?"

"It was mine to do, Segun. I did not think you would object."

"You should not disinherit his wife."

"You are exceeding kind to my ex-wife."

"Because she never had your heart."

I slipped my hand into his and he turned his handsome face to me.

"I think I shall always have a good laugh that Gyenn Sharr had to give you a divorce from her. The hotel porter's testimony was damning."

"Still, the Church extracted a good amount of money to 'sanctify' the divorce."