Self Love

Have you ever had sex that was so good you almost wanted to give up trying? It happened to me. Have you ever heard someone tell you to go fuck yourself and think, "If only I could!" Well, that happened to me, too.

I had worked at the brand new Holdauer University ever since it opened. I was lucky enough to get a job with maintenance right from the get-go. In fact, I was even luckier to be put in charge of maintenance for the University's Grandam Research Facility. I was a bit of an amateur inventor. I loved building things, tinkering with things, fixing things. Of course, my title, "Maintenance Supervisor," may as well have been "Head Mop Slinger" or even "Human Toilet Brush." In reality, the job was steady, pay was good, and benefits were amazing. That, and far too many of the students, and faculty for that matter, both male and female, apparently had a deep yearning for a middle-aged janitor in their beds...

Anyway, I was walking through campus one early, cool, October afternoon. I had heard all this fuss about some hullabaloo going on in one of the research laboratories, so I decided I should do my job and go check it out. Plus, the gorgeous Dr. Lydia Ekelstein was the main perpetrator of these fantastical happenings. I'd gone out with her a few times, as friends, though what I really wanted from her was a chance at her voluptuous ass. She was both sexy and friendly. I was still trying to figure out what craziness could balance out her hotness.

But that's beside the point.

I made my way to up the front stairs and opened the door. A few students were on their way to class and we exchanged pleasantries. Up the stairs to the third floor, just down the hallway on the left was Dr. Ekelstein's lab. I was just opening the door when it happened. I felt a violent force pull me into the room. I turned, looking directly into Dr. Ekelstein's beautiful, terrified gaze. Our eyes met briefly and I heard her call out. Then everything went blank and I was falling...

***

I awoke and OH, GOD, was it painful. The light hurt my closed eyes. I heard a familiar, repeating noise that I couldn't quite place. My head ached as though I'd been drinking heavily the night before. My muscles were stiff. I tried moving my hands and even that was a chore. I felt as though I'd been pounded into a pulp.

I managed to lift my hand to shade my eyes from the blinding light. Finally, I could look around, let my eyes adjust. I could feel grass under my aching head. Ah, I was outside. The noise was coming from above. I looked up: a crow cawed loudly in a branch above me.

"Oak tree," I recognized aloud. My eyes adjusted slowly, but the pain slowly ebbed to a dull ache. Where was I? What happened? Seriously: What. The. Fuck?

As I pulled myself together, I realized just how hungry I was. I looked around. I was in the middle of a field. A vague sense of familiarity to my surroundings nagged at my brain. I should have known where I was, my brain kept telling me. It felt normal while being completely disorienting. The place was familiar...

No, I couldn't place a finger on it, but I'd been here before. I thought so, at least. The buildings, the road, this field; they were all reminiscent of some place in my memory. I was still in a fog, unable to think clearly. Maybe a walk would do me good.

I walked to the road. Even still, the curves, the potholes, the... No. Not possible. This place looked just like the Holdauer campus, but before the university was built. There's no way. It couldn't be. Could it?

"Where the hell am I?" I thought. Though, I apparently spoke the thought aloud because a young man sitting in the shade of a stately elm replied.

"This is Holdauer," the eerily familiar voice stated. "Are you lost?"

I nearly had a heart attack. The voice wasn't merely just familiar; it was too much coincidence to be that similar. I turned to the young man and...

Holy fuck! It was me. It was me almost twenty years ago. I was... I mean, he was sitting there, softly strumming a guitar, lit Winston dangling from the left corner of his mouth. Damn! I look sexy.

"Uh, hi. I, uh, was wondering... Do you...?" I didn't know how to finish that thought. Luckily, my younger self was all too quick with jump in.

"I didn't see how you got here, but there isn't much nearby. At least, there's nothing in walking distance."

When he asked my name, I had no idea what to tell him.

"Scott," I finally replied. Why did I choose Scott? I asked myself. I'd only ever known one Scott personally, and that was a good long time ago. Right around the time I was now reliving. "And you, young man? What's your name?"

"Amos," he replied. "You're a good looking man, Scott. Are you gay?" he asked.

What the fuck, right? I was about to say something when I realized that young Amos was high as a fucking kite. His eyes were glossy and red, his smile involuntary.

"Well, first off, thanks for the compliment," I finally replied. "And, secondly, I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is." He chuckled. "No, I'm not. Why do you ask?"

"I've never been with a guy, but I've always been curious," he said. "You look like someone I could see myself trying with. But..."

"And why are you telling me this?" I asked. "Aren't you in the least bit self-conscious? You don't think I might have bad intentions...?" I remember this happening, twenty years ago. So eerily similar to my first time, only this time I was on the other end of the conversation.

"I just thought, you seem like a decent guy. I like your style." He paused. I remember that feeling. I had felt those same nerves, having this same conversation. It never even crossed my mind that I may have been talking to my future self. "In fact, I was kind of hoping you'd want to fuck me," he finished.

"Well, in that case, we'd better find a place to fuck." And why not. It'd been a while since I'd had a man-fling. I was getting that familiar cock lust. He led me to his car. Man, I miss that old Toyota. It treated me well while I had it. Plus, given the chance, wouldn't you want to have sex with yourself? I don't mean jerking or jilling off. I mean full-on, hardcore, real life fucking. You would, wouldn't you? And here I am given that impossible chance...

On the way to his place, we went over the rules. If he felt uncomfortable at any point, we'd stop. Yada yada. All that good stuff.

We got to his place and I noticed no one was home. This was all so eerily familiar: I'd lived this exact scenario 20 years ago. It was literal déjà vu. I had to fight myself to let young Amos lead the way to the bedroom. It gave me a good opportunity to ogle my own twenty-year-old ass. He playfully mooned me as he went up the stairs. I practically dragged him backwards so I could bury my face in his ass crack. My tongue wiggled in his puckered, virgin hole as he paused. My cock had never been harder or bigger in my life.

"Not here, in the room," he panted. His lust was unmistakable. My desire was barely in check, if at all.

In the room, he stripped immediately. Then he got into that position, one of my favorites to be in. His legs were spread, he was bent at the waist, his elbows on the bed, his back arched so that his ass lifted just so. And he turned his head back to me. "Fuck me," he demanded. I really am a sexy man. I loved being able to ogle my own ass without having to use a mirror. And the way his balls hung down, visible between his spread legs, was almost too much. I made him wait as I undressed. Then I knelt down behind him, his ass at face level. I inhaled my anal scent, sending shivers through my being. Young Amos reached back and parted his cheeks to expose his virgin anus: such beauty, such perfection. I could wait no longer and stabbed his ass with my tongue. His moans were delectable, music to my ears.

"Please," he nearly begged this time. "Please fuck me." Instead, I turned him around so I could focus my assault on his beautiful cock, so stiff and rigid.

Now, despite having many trysts with many men, I've never considered myself gay. But I don't think I've ever seen a man's equipment that made me think, "Oh. That cock is so much more perfect than mine." Looking at my own cock, however, on another being, albeit my younger self, I had that very thought. Well, more along the lines of "Damn! Don't I have just the most amazingly beautiful cock!" Honestly, I'd tried so many times to contort myself enough to suck my own cock. I'd even eaten my own cum many times, but I'd only gotten the tip of my tongue to touch the tip of my penis a few times. But now, here I was, naked, on my knees, in front of my naked, twenty-year-old, rigid manhood. I pushed him to the bed and brought his cock, my cock, our cock, to within an inch of my face. I started with just rubbing my face with his erection. The thrill was so intense I could feel my asshole pucker. My nose found its way to the base of his cock, to the hairy balls. I inhaled deeply the familiar aroma of my sex. I took his penis to my mouth and lightly kissed. Little baby kisses, all the way from tip to base and back again, seven inches of heaven. Working my way back to the base, I lifted the raging hard-on enough to put a good tonguing on the hairy ball sac beneath. I pushed his legs back, again exposing his virgin hole.

"Where's the lube?" I asked.

He reached behind his head and pulled out a tube of KY. "My ex used to love my cock up her ass," he tried to explain.

"If Amber could only see you now," I said to myself. I couldn't help but chuckle. I mean, in fifteen years or so, she would be there to watch him take it up the ass: repeatedly. To this day, it is still one of my top five sexual escapades. But that's beside the point. His virgin ass was the point. And somehow, my little slip, dropping Amber's name like that... He was so caught up in lust that he just missed it, I guess.

I took a dollop of lube and slathered it on his anus, lightly stroking his hole as I sucked on that perfect penis. I could almost feel the penetration in my own ass, causing flutters in my stomach. He started to push back, accepting the intrusion. I gently worked my forefinger past his opening.

"Unnnnngh," was all he could say.

I could feel his ass relaxing, so I added a second finger.

"Enough already. Put that fucking cock up my ass!" And this time, I was not going to make him wait any longer.

I had to use all of my self-control to not stab his ass with my cock. We worked together, as though we were one being. Well, we were one being and soon to be even more one with each other. The initial pain receded and I could feel the virgin relaxing.

"Scott," he started. "Fuck me."

His legs on my shoulders, we fucked slow and deep. I stroked his cock as we kissed, moving back and forth, up and down, in and out. Our breath was one. Our hearts beat as one. Our eyes met... And I knew that he knew, or at least suspected something.

"I'm going to cum, don't stop fucking me!"

And I was going to cum as well. I could feel the sensation start at my asshole, coursing through my taint, seizing my balls, and releasing into my younger self's ass. At the same time, I watched his own orgasm shooting up his chest, nearly to his chin. He scooped up a large glob with his right hand and sucked it off his fingers, then used his left hand to scoop up more to share with me. His cum tasted like nirvana.

Before long, young Amos was hard as a rock again. I felt my own desire for penetration. I slobbered saliva all over his lovely erection. I wasn't going to wait for lube: I wanted it hard and rough. He lay there, thinking I was just giving him a blow job until I got up and straddled him. Our eyes locked as I placed the head of his cock at my anal entrance. I slowly sat down, impaling myself in ecstasy. We fit together like a hand in a glove. I started easy, but quickly picked up the pace.

His hands moved to my hips, gently guiding our movements together. I could feel his hips thrust up as I sat down. My own erection flopped repeatedly on his stomach punctuating each thrust. I surrendered to the lust of the moment. His cock found that special spot inside, pressing my inner button, and I could feel the surge of physical delight coming to a head. He thrust hard and deep, tightly holding my body on his spasming organ. Whether imagination or actual, I could feel each spurt of his cum as it entered my anus. One last twitch tickled my prostate into orgasm and I spewed all over his chest. This time I scooped up the creamy goodness for us both to share. I collapsed onto his chest trying to catch my breath.

As we relaxed, he asked me. "How do you know Amber?"

So, he was paying attention. Not knowing what to say, not ready for such a question, I stalled as best I could. I eased his man-tool from my ass slowly. Then I felt it: that same violent force seizing me. I turned, looking directly into young Amos's beautiful eyes.

"When you know, you'll know," was all I was able to say.

Our eyes met briefly. Then everything went blank and I was falling...

***

"Oh my God! I think he's waking," I heard an anxious voice.

"Step back! Let him breathe!" another voice, a familiar voice flush with hopeful relief, commanded.

I did wake, and oh, God, was it painful. The light hurt my closed eyes. My mind was still on the amazing experience I'd just had, head aching as though I was hung over. I managed to lift my hand to shade my eyes from the blinding light. Finally, I could look around, let my eyes adjust.

There was Dr. Ekelstein, a goddess of beauty and sexiness. If only she knew what I'd just been involved in, would she have the same concern on her face?

"What happened?" I inquired groggily.

"Paige, go get Mr. Brown here some water," she commanded before turning back to me. "Well, now there's a story for later. For now, let's just get you up."

She knelt down by my side, helping me raise my head.

"Paige'll be back soon. Maybe we can talk about this over dinner?" Did she just ask me out on a date? Her eyes had a suggestive glint to them.

"I am a bit hung... I mean, we could... What?"

Just then, Paige returned with a cup of water. Our conversation would have to wait, I guess. I wonder what she couldn't say in front of others?