All Comments on 'Separate Vacations'

Bruce is a spineless wimp and Tiffany is a cold bitch. How he could consider taking her back tells me he deserves to be mind fucked.

I really liked the story. You have a way of making me, well, not believe the unbelievable, but enjoy reading about it. I've skimmed the responses and to those who didn't like the ending because it seemed unlikely, well how about the marriage itself. Has anybody ever heard of such a thing. You are kind of like Slirpuff of steroids. Slirpuff manages to take simple missunderstandings and turn them into the stuff of divorce and also pretty interesting dialogue along the way. You take incredibly over the top problems and characters turn them into the stuff of violence, mayhem and divorce, and in the process create some pretty interesting and fun stories. I also like how you always leave room for doubt about your female characters. I assume this is to give us all something to talk about, but it also seems like the closest thing to real life in your stories. We all trust our wives because we do. And as far as this story goes, no one, not even Harry with his higher level math skills, really knows what the hell she did on that Hawaiian vacation. I don't think this story was about cheating in any case, it was about a guy who made a ridiculous mistake by agreeing to his wife's insane demands at the beginning of their marriage instead of telling her to get into therapy or I'll divorce your ass. But it's really just a hoot isn't it? I mean, she's holding a 38 on him and he agrees to marry her, OK, well I would to, until she turned her back, then I'd be out the door and on the way out of town, but this reality is more like Malcolm in the middle reality. But what can I say, just like that show, it's fun. And HDK, really, you have a problem with a universe filled with hot women with giant breasts obsessed with giant cocks. Really? Am I the only person here who reads outside of this genre? Try Evil Alpaca, much more fun than 99 percent of anything in this genre, though his or her giant breasted women are more interested in other women with giant breasts than in the numerous giant cocks floating by. A good story is a good story. It doesn't have to have a moral. It can just be a fun ride. And this, like everything I've read from you so far, was an e ticket.

I don't know how anyone with a brain could read this story and not be moved by it. This was a tortured soul, scarred by her past, who finally came to her senses and regained what she need most in her life. I'm almost always of the opinion that a cheating bitch should be kicked to the curb. This was simply not the kind of story that called for that kind of action.

Thanks for the great diversion. Now let us continue to enjoy WWWM.

I gave you a 5. I loved, LOVED the story, but I hate the end. That woman just couldn't deserve him back.

Best thing is, you get to choose, since you took the trouble to write it and so you did, choose.

There were a few rough spots in the story where it was difficult to read what you were fumbling with. But, they didn't detract from the overall quality of work and though I started at just after midnight and it is now 3am, I am glad I stayed up and read this.

Good job. Keep writing.

Makes no difference if she did or did not in Hawaii.

Its the perception she left while out with the big dicked one.

What you perceive is what you believe and if you believe she cheated then she did PERIOD

Fantastic story, so smooth, and well written. A great job of editing made reading the work a pleasure.

Dude, you're a busy writer, with this story and writing " When we were married."

Thanks for this great story.

Great job of writing as usual, but the thing that is more important than sentence structure is you finally let the toons win. Life doesn't always hand out happy endings but from time to time... Wonderful for you to see fit to make that happen... Now about WWWM...

Your stories always get a lot of comment and that is a good thing. I can't say I liked this one as well as WWWM (so far), but it had emotion and at times I hated both of them for being idiots. It was a bit unrealistic, but people can be very hard headed and who know if there are not two people out there who fit the story to a T.

One thing is for certain and that is I will always read one of your stories.

Sorry Harry et. al, I could buy this ending just fine and was hoping for it. Oh, sure I'd be cynical in real life about her "not cheating" in Hawaii or the late night calls of desperate bragging killing the man's love but it works for me in this story given the wife's setup/history.

I've grown bored with DQS's long soap opera novel with the angel of death but this one I really enjoyed.

-Hexxx

I thoroughly enjoy your writing style and your ability to manage the tone of the story. You are undoubtedly a gifted writer.

Money is all too rare a central focus of the marital dispute in stories of this type. In the Loving Wives category the main conflict usually revolves around infidelity or sexual incompatibility, but rarely money. Yet we know that money is the cause of most arguments in the marriage. So for giving us a conflict based on different views of money management I applaud you.

If you were going to use money as a lever why not have the husband claim his share of the marital assets in the divorce? If he was so focused on hurting his wife a move on her assets would have made that point so much better than merely leaving his ring on the divorce documents.

Is there some unwritten rule that says that the men are less manly when they go for their fare share of their wives’ assets in the divorce? Even when the men in these stories have custody after the divorce they always refuse to seek child support.

You husband in this story wanted to share in his wife’s success but only if she offered it freely. His hands could not be seen reaching for the cash. She had to offer it herself. She was right, he was a coward.

I mentioned the tone of your story because at the end all I felt was the need to take a deep breath. You rushed to an ending. Even so, the reconciliation seemed appropriate to the story given that these two people seemed hopelessly codependent. Their flaws were a template for all of the other characters.

Was there any person of substance in this story? All the characters, save the husband and children, seemed vacuous to me, without soul or heart. We read too much of their weaknesses. For instance, not one wife: not Tiffany, nor her mother, nor Candy, nor Hank’s wife, saw value in fidelity. Are all women inherently unfaithful?

Like I said, forgetting the husband and children, I couldn’t find a likable character.

P.S. How many young girls have their first menstrual cycle at ten or eleven years of age?

A jealous of other man, her wife benn giving attention is also consider bad thing, i dont understand they always ignore the fact why, as soon as word Jealous word is applicable, they deny everything but the fact that he is jealous, Yes Jealousy is bad but where it is not should be, like man jealous of kids because they got more attention from his wife, it is invalid, motherly love cannot exceed/lack wifely love, because their is no connection. But with other man it is, it should be sign of care and love, when you marry, you own your spouse, he/she owns you, infact husband's pride is wife's pride.

Sometimes I think are those cultures or coutries are better where there are more restrictions on woman, atleast they consider pride/ego to be shared between both husband and wife, if wife is slut it reflects to husband, if hubby is spineless he is failure to his wife, A spouse is supposed to own your body as well as your pride/ego.

The writer has talent but lacks reality. He convolutes to emotionalize the readers who he cares little for.<P>

One day soon he will realize as most of us have done as a teenager that reality and consequence are a daily result of life.<P>

Bending and twisting characters beyond reality with pretty words and talented paragraphs still leaves a skeleton without believable tangible substance.<P>

Perhaps someday the writer will discount the many comments glorifying his words and realize the hollowness of his efforts.<P>

One fairly common idea I have noticed with the LW genre is that male pride and or ego is portrayed as a bad thing. It is referred to has not letting a man do something or getting in the way. In fact, when all is said and done all a man (worthy of the title man as opposed to a mere male) has is pride.

I would contend that a man without pride is not worthy of love.

``Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride -- where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will be always under good regulation.''

Pride and Prejudice

Does he have to? I've read several of your other stories and I see that reconciliation seems to be a major theme, even after infidelity. Personally I think that infidelity in any form is the worst thing someone can do to their spouse. It is the ultimate betrayal. However, it barely affects several of your characters, including the husband in this story. He pretty much dismisses it as being a problem at all for him to get over. I really enjoy your writing, and would like to see a few other stories where the husband does not so readily dismiss infidelity. I would like to see him move in to someone else.

I like to read your stories, and I would appreciate it if you would consider my story request.

DQS seems to have a thing for surprise endings. His female leads all appear to be evil bitches to various degrees at first glance. Those ladies all are high-spirited and their emotions activate their rather sever foot-in-mouth diseases. He gives us enough of a glimpse of their real character -- if the reader is awake and willing to look -- to make the ending believable. By believable I mean not totally irrational.

<space>

I'm seeing a pattern with DQS stories. His characters are often caricatures of real people. Emotions and actions are over the top as well as the tits and dicks. This makes for difficult reconcilliations.

<space>

I'm taking the characters with a grain of salt -- huge tits and dicks and all.

<space>

One last comment. She didn't cheat in Hawaii. Her hints that she might were part of her ploy to "shape up" Bruce. The kissing that one night looked bad but she was out with a lot of people. I can see that happening just like she said it did; what's-his-name was being a jerk and stole a kiss. No cheating there.

You have some very serious fans: GaryAPB, Harddaysknight, Average_writer, curious2c, etc. Your audience and their desire to comment is significant approval of your talent. Some are really upset because the husband reconciles with the wife. Some see the man characters as inconsistent because of this reconciliation. I disagree. Remorse can beget foregiveness in a relationship of love. Contrition and pennance are the outward and visible signs of inner truth. I see Tiffany's separation of her assets as a metaphor for her inability to totally commit. She grows enough to achieve the humility necessary for true commitment. Her vacation, her lover, her behaviors are stages of denial, anger, grief, mourning, acceptance and growth. He totally commits before she does and pays the price. The one who cares the least, loses the least. Apparently she did care, but she had to discover it. And that discovery led her commitment which will eventually allow her to be happy. The side stories and characters in their lives reveal them to the reader.

Many people, myself included, apparently love DQS1's writing. Many other's apparently hate it and yet at the same time they keep reading it. Some even restort to name calling, I guess because they don't have the mental capacity to critisize the writing so the denigrate the writer.

First lets take those of us who love the stories. Some may offer a critical review of the story but it's offered because they care about the writer and the story. They want to help the story be it's best and help the author succeed. In other words, they offer back for free ideas for a story they have been given for free.

Then there are those who hate the story and yet cannot seem to stop themselves from reading it and venting but without anything constructive. My only guess is that some of these are the victims of tough divorces/cheating wives and by reading these stories, it's the only way they can keep their anger burning. They transpose themselves into the stories and fuel their internal fires against the one that done them wrong. It's either that or they are true critics. And we all know that a critic is someone who creates nothing and therefore feels qualified to judge the artistic creations of others. Some of the brave ones include their user name, some don't have enough nerve and use Anonymous.

Finally lets look at the cowards. They are the ones who hide behind the Anonymous tag and call the writer names such as SOB and dribble nothing out of their slack jaws except vitrol. Generally this is the type of person would hide in the jungle or the mountains until the battle is over before they heroically show up to shoot the wounded. They are trolls and should be ignored.

Now let me say this about "Seperate Vacations." First I actually knew and worked in Jacksonville with someone like Tiffany. She held a very good job (not as good as Tiffany's) and her husband was model along with being a life guard at Jax Beach. In other words a beach bum. Their life was very close to what was portrayed here. She drove a nice car, he drove a clunker. When they went on vacation, it was where she wanted to go since she was paying. Now to the story itself. I did enjoy this, I'll give it 4 stars and to me the only thing that kept it from getting 5 stars is a sense of being rushed. I'm not talking about the charactors, I'm talking about the production of the story over all. DQS1 has to balance demand against production and I really thing this one could have benifitted from an editor or at least one more reading/rewrite. But the vultures would have circled lower and the meat eaters would have growled more if they had to wait more days for something else to read and enjoy or read and lambast as the case may be.

DQS! let me say GOOD JOB (and if you ever want a couple of cute JSO stories, give me a shout. I know a couple of doozies. Plus, ignore the cowards.

CW

As a wordsmith DQS is strong. His story flows well, and he does seem to understand how to create emotion.

As a plot writer with imagination I hate to say DQS is still in grade school.

HDK had some valid points about the repetitive nature of DQS storylines. He's attempted to force a reconcilliation every time. His female characters have usually had big tits. Office cheating is endeminc and there's always the man with the big johnson who gets the entire office and all their friends to drop their panties simply by breathing on the ladies.

Its cookie cutter writing. And it comes out in some obvious ways.

Read all of the stories DQS has posted here. The "wife" almost always demeans the man, sometimes to an extreme, but the man just takes it. This story is a wonderful example. Tiffany keeps telling Bruce he's a coward for walking away, and of course, he's such a weak-willed pussy he stops and lets her win. The funny thing is that its greater cowardice to that rather than to keep walking and the man who refused counseling in front of a judge would never be that wimpy. If he was going to fold years later to Tiffany when she taunted him, why didn't she fold when the judge threatened him with 6 months jail time.

The emotional development is good, but the characters are cardboard.

DQS, I have no clue what your goal is in the writing, but you need to take a deeper look at your characters. Why are your men so easily manipulated, and why are the women oversexed bitches. There are always going to be some readers who say your write great stories, but the truth is you really have written a bunch of variations on the same story and they aren't that interesting after a while.

And as I've already said WWWM is even worse than this when it comes to the flat characters.

I loved reading through all the comments and laughed out loud as most went nuts over your characters and their behaviors...you make these characters so real these folks are spasming in anger and their hearts and brains are bursting from emotion....from your writing....

Yes, HDK got it right, but hey, I'm glad to get a quickie while waiting for you to post another segment of WWWM. I know each and every one of these commenters were as excited as I when I saw this new posting, and I was thrilled to learn it was a stand-alone piece (so I don't have to wait again). Ok, some can't accept that true love is real and will conquer all...so what, I enjoyed it. Write another one...end it by tossing the bitch out. I bet you still get the same quantity of comments. They may hate your outline, but they love your writing, and want more.

Yeah this is pretty bad. Why? Because the premise as set by the AUTHOR is violated ... not by the readers but by the author himself.

The story opens with a marriage operating on set and agreed upon rules. Many marriages have separate checking savings accounts. But her demand that bruce suddenly on no notice come up with $8000 is a scheme as Harry points out.

But it gets worse... she openly admits that she WANTS to fuck this others guy... and bruce is not a real man.

Bruce walks because of the manipulation. He realizes that Tiffany thinks he has to accept this.

THAT reaction by Bruce kills the story. Everything tiffany does after that is another scheme or ploy to get bruce back.

Bruce should be getting more angry and more resolute.

This is basic story telling 101 people.

And for the record I too am thinking about giving up on WHEN WE WERE MARRIED.

Good stuff !! thanks for the great read as usual!!! I'm gonna go up stairs right soon and screw my girl with the dragon tattoo in the shower! Thanks for the extra inspiration.

Sometimes I think the lines between fiction and non-fiction blur a little for some of your readers 'round these parts. Or to take an alliterative swipe at it:

Lemmings of a literal leaning lack the latitude to let go of their lexically languid...oh fuck it.

Loved the story, found it very entertaining, although the ending seemed rather abrupt (the gun thing was...different.) Do they get back together - probably. Will their issues be resolved - not likely (even with a lot of counseling.) Chances of happily ever after - maybe 1 out of 4.

Maybe its a left coast thing but Double D's and 97th percentile erections do seem to carry the day. And yet even out here flat-chested women and men with breakfast sausage sized dicks seem to find a way to go on with life, quite happily too.

I don't understand the confusion nor the vitriol regarding DSQ1's reconciliation themes. Its what he does (mostly, not always), some may be a stretch, but I've seen crazier reconciliations in real life.

So keep on writing me amigo and reconcile (couldn't resist) with yourself that you can't please all of your readers all the time but you sure as hell can find a way to generate the most comments. Damn you.

The wife in this story treated the husband like garbage consistently during the "marriage" and afterwards. I use the term "marriage" with caution because it didn't look like a real marriage to me, it looked more like an arrangement to suit the convenience of the wealthy wife.

He finally has enough and grows the balls to leave this "marriage" and the wife's behaviour in terms of mocking, belittling and humiliating the husband gets even worse. I mean, what's with the repeated phone calls to the husband while she's having sex with her lover?

It seems to me the wife was a control freak and wanted everything her way, and when the husband didn't go along she got even nastier.

She kept protesting that she didn't want him to own her. But what was really happening was that the wife thought that she could (and did) own the husband.

Despite what she says to him - it's clear that she only was interested in him again after he became successful in his career. Even then, in their "business meeting" or "date" or whatever, she continues her put-downs constantly.

I thought the story had some prospects of being a good story until the final scene. But sadly (for I am a fan of DQS1 stories), the last scene had no credibility whatsoever.

Let's look at that last scene...

He finally moves on and starts dating again...

She turns up at his birthday party completely unexpected, after he's made it clear they have no future...

At the party, again completely out of left field, she begs him to marry her again...

The proposal includes her pulling out a gun and threatening to shoot him if he's ever unfaithful (he never has been)...

Of course, she promises to be good in the future...

And he, despite everything that's happened until now, says "OK" and promises his undying love for life.

It is just not believable.

There is simply no basis for this reconciliation. It's a complete 180-degree turnaround from where the story was going without any reason why.

It almost seems like the ending from a different story was tacked onto this one. It is forced and it doesn't work.

I have some other problems with this story.

The issue is not his fidelity, it's hers. Even if the wife never had full-on sex with her lover during the marriage, she was still being unfaithful to her husband with the way she carried on with the other man.

Furthermore, even if the husband couldn't afford to pay a good lawyer up front, I can't believe that with no pre-nup and a $4,000,000 asset pool, he wouldn't find a good lawyer who'd act on a contingency fee basis.

Finally, where I come from, for the wife's lawyer to speak to the husband directly, to "pump" him for information, knowing the husband had his own lawyer (his lawyer's name would be on the divorce application) would be a serious breach of ethics such that a formal disciplinary action could be taken.

I was very disappointed with the story, especially the ending, and (sadly) it has diminished my (until now, very great) respect for DQS1 as a storyteller.

And in most of your stories you create characters that speak to me and reflect a reality that I can respect.

In THIS story, however, you have fallen far short. I absolutely cannot abide a protagonist that allows himself to be shit upon, not once but for YEARS. Then when he crosses the "bridge" to a new life, the raving bitch he had as a wife effectively BURNS the bridge. In effect, she buried him then covered him in her shit with his eyes and mouth open and facing UP so she can see him EAT her shit.

No, NO, NO GOD DAMN it he just cannot, cannot take the cunt back. She has NOT changed, she just LOST and once she's got him back the shit will flow again.

NO reconciliation when the abuse had been this bad for so long.

In this story I see bits and pieces of two people who are not communicating well at all. The wife has issues with the asshole way her father treated her mother... and her mother had issues even worse. The husband couldn't seem to bring out what exactly bothered him until he walked out and filed for divorce.

The husband, being a 'writer' should have been able to some way, some how bring out his thoughts and tell his wife what the real reason was before they divorced. They should have both gone to counseling and she should have had extra counseling due to her history.

I've worked with guys (and gals) who are married and have a similar arrangement with their money in that what's hers is hers and his is his... but they also helped each other, spent money on each other and split living expenses evenly too. That's being human... or natural. If one loves someone they want to share... even if they insist on the logical process of monetary separation.

Look at me... I'm discussing the characters... not the writing. My bad.

This story is well written and believable as I've seen some people that fit the characters lives to a tee. Thank you for sharing your talents and bring out more for our perusal...please.

C2C

I made a comment about "Dream Wife" essentially calling DQS1 Lit's version of John Grisham. My opinion hasn't changed. This is the most misogynistic POS since, well, When We Were Married.

You really like neither males or females, do you?

HDK's comments were spot on, however I liked the story and the emotions displayed by the two parties.

Please keep writing, with the feedback and practice your writing will get even better.

She has not changed a damned bit and he's a fool. The gun says it all, she still doesn't trust him and the fact that he's successful now is the only reason she's willing to try again. He should run as far away from this deranged cheating bitch whore as fast as he can. No MAN in his right mind would have her even near him.

A very nice story and maybe you needed to take a break from "when..." but please keep your promise from the beginning and get back to the best story on Lit at this time.

What I have a problem with is that she still felt that he was going to cheat on her. I saw nothing in the story that indicated that he ever cheated during the marriage. She fucked up the marriage, and her little grandstand at the end didn't ake me feel that she was a changed woman, but that she would say anything to get what she wanted.

I would still want to be as far away from the bitch as possible.

This emasculating bitch of a writer continues to portray men as clueless, mindless, wimps who not only tolerate unbelievable humiliation, but invariably reconcile their small "penised" self with the cheating size queen slut wife. Like many women, this author believes that knowing how to fight somehow makes a man not a wimp. I'm sure if she had ever dated a real man, she would realize there is a whole world full perfectly normal (non needy/wimp) men out there who don't know some kind of martial art, or own a gun, or fight, who wouldn't tolerate this kind female head game bull crap for six minutes, let alone for six pages. It is this kind of sick portrayal of men that delude women into fantasizing that they can be as nasty as they want to be and all they got to do is spread their legs to bring the non-man back into the fold(s). The fact that this writer writes so well only serves to make her stories that much more dismal and disturbing, and thus forces me to write long diatribes of vitriolic rhetoric in a futile attempt to balance the scales of good over this truly evil bitch writer.

its more of a romance than loving wife, but who cares. love it. thanks!

with some of the comments saying that all your stories are and end the same. There have been a couple that there was no reconnecting by the wife and husband. Those stories have plainly said that sometimes love is not enough.

Anyway I liked the story and could understand the characters actions. Remember folks, when emotion is involved people don't act rationally. Besides it's only a story.

The writing was up to your usual standard. Emotionally, I bought into the story. I'm a retribution and reconciliation type reader so the ending worked for me. BUT <P>

It seems kind of template or cookie cutter. The wife who humiliates her husband publicly and verbally, the big cocked lover, and she doesn't cheat until the marriage is over, sound familar? It wasn't a stretch for you. You said you wrote "The Last Goodbye" for yourself, you didn't care if you got lambasted. Time to get over it and do something extraordinary with your writing skills. <P>

Personal aside to Gary: Surprised to see a signed comment by you, it's been a long time. I hope all is well with you. <P>

Jennybear

The characters had real problems and I do not think that I dare comment much about Bruce's behaviour---------- before the Hawai vacation......, my monniker would make to easy...... He really should have quit before marrying her.

One detail, is that I read two pages and jumped to the commentaries. From the commentaries I almost decided to quit reading the story.. I am a bit tired of forced reconciliation, but since we are dealing with a good writer, I went on and enjoyed. The reconciliation does not work if you are against reconciliation, basically she gave him everything he wanted, surrendered completely and he never did stop loving her. She should have given him the gun to hold for her...

I like the story and found it credible. In terms of plot, I think Tiffany had a significant change of heart based on the realization that she was letting her dead beat dad ruin her life. I like the fact that Bruce got plenty of action whilst single and got to beat the daylights out of the other man (who deserved it). In terms of writing: well paced and well told story... DQS1 can <i>really </i> write.

your a very good writer but I didnt like this one very much

weak hubby and fuck up wife.

Enjoyed reading this story, as well as others you have posted. Keep up the good work.

Well you can write, that's for sure. You can write a wonderful story. That is not in dispute, at least I don't think so. However what I don't understand is how you can write a character such as Tiffany, who really hated her ex-husband so much she rubbed his nose in the fact that Stephen was bigger and better than him and worse phoned him while doing it.

Why didn't Bruce just disconnect each time? that's what I don't understand. But after two years of being apart they meet up have sex, great sex apparently, and now Tiffany wants to get marreid again? She has seen the light and she will be the model wife?

Forgive me if I a little sceptical. Anyway as far as stories go it was a good read and kept me reading until the end. But as HDK said I can see your characters in your other stories.

But most and foremost don't stop writing. Oh and if you write the next chapter of your on going saga I am sure many people would be grateful.

of comment from HDK. He is wise and fair.

A good story, but could be better.

and why is that? Oh, she had him pay the mortgage and utilities because she loved him, refused to share her weath to motivate him to strieve harder, and humiliate him in front of friends and co-woprkers to indicate that she was serious. So now we should excuse her behavior and applaud her for trying to reconcile after treating him like shit. DQS1 never explained why

Tiffery had a change of heart about sharing. Could it be she could not find anoth sucker to behave as Bruce did before the divorce.

Please return to the planet you can from as you are notecome here.

You can take DQS1, with his belief in the power of BIG TITS AND BIG COCKS WITH YOU.

dude... it is OBVIOUS she cheated.

FIRST their "understanding" was that SHE paid for vacations HE paid for most of the daily ordinary bills.

She violated that agreement .... knowing that Bruce... or 95% of most men could NOT come up with $8000 in such short notice.

Saying that Bruce isnt a real man

But Stephen IS...

she WANTS to fuck Stephen

she WANTS to go on Vacation for 30 days with another man.

===================

Add it up = she did fuck him.

Kudos all around for this one. I usually am too lazy to read beyond 3-4 pages of an essay but your masterpiece made me curious as to how you were going to tie this one up into a suitable ending. Thank you again..great work.

but like WWWM more! Enjoy your writing style and use of words and images. Great techniques. Thanks!

If none of you noticed, his wife didn't want to divorce him, but couldn't commit herself to him. She didn't cheat on him while they were married. He always loved her, but left, for both their sakes. He couldn't live married, but not married, so he left. The only part that didn't ring true was when she was trying to get him back, after the games where she was trying to hurt him, she went on and on about how much she loved Steve's cock and loved fucking him. Hmmm. That would have sent me running out of the room. I would have thought that even if it was true, she wouldn't have wanted to hurt him and would have kept quiet.

The great thing about fiction is it allows us to view the world from many points of view. She screwed me over and so I'm gonna torch the bitch is one view. She done me wrong, but she's really sorry and I think we can work it out is another. I like both kinds of stories if they're well written. DQS writes well.

What wwere you thinking when you delayed the 5th chapter to an excellent story to publish this piece of junk; on the other hand, were you even thinking. You previous indicated this would be "a 30,000 word novelette or novella," but can you even count?

the story. As usual the story was well written and the plot carried to the end. It was the ending I suspected.

I truly feel that you purposely wrote this story at this time to smooth the ending for WWWM. Not to worry, it certainly carried a sense of foreboding, apprehension or a clear warning that we should "beware the ides of March". This story is also one of the best readership thinning agents I could think of. You were successful in my respect. I wish you luck in all your future endeavors.

VG

Thanks for reaffirming your true colors. Its now clear how WWWM is going to conclude. Did you write this piece of trash to remain us of your proprnsity to destroy the self respect of your main male characters. This story has no redeeming literary value. You delayed posting 5A of WWWM to entertain us wirh this crap!!

Other readers were obviously correct in pointing out WWWM is simply a SOAP OPERA, in which each subsequent writter chapter is designed to boost your ego.

Congrads, this addition gets a scoring of “1,"

wow this is soo bad I cannot wait to rip it to shreds. The entire premise of Bruce's leaving and Divorce is that HE thought it was NOT a real marriage.

so when the EX WIFE pull a GUN on you and threatens to kill you if you say NO... how does that fix the problem?

of course She fucked steven on Vacation. Go back and re read what Tiffany says to Bruce. THis is a woman that calls him at WORK while she is fucking Steven .... months AFTER they divorce.

" For God's sake. I'm ashamed of you, Bruce, and I hate being ashamed of you."

"I'm going to leave your ass behind because I want to rub your nose in the fact that you've let me down, and you're letting your daughters down. I want you to develop some balls, go get a decent job and, for God's sake, let this adolescent dream of writing the Great American novel go to hell."

so naturally after your wife says then does that ... the only correct and reasonabel to do is RE MARRY?

Tiffany says she WANTS to fuck Steve and will do so on vacation and that he- Bruce- isnt a Man.

so.... natutally they RE MARRY?

even AFTER the Divorce she calls Bruce up as she is having sex with steven and destorying HIM.....

so they RE MARRY?

and of Course Bruce HAS to listen for 5 minutes for 10 minutes for 15 minutes...right?

so of course they RE MARRY?!??!?

then she Tracks him down two years later... and the FIRST thing she does is RIP into him... then this faggot wimp Bruce gets manipulated so easy?

wont you sit down?

wont you have one drink?

wont you take me home?

wont you give me 1 kiss?

wont you fuck me.

even when she stops she Grabs the KARATE master and Forces herself on HIM???

LOL... rotflol....

so they RE MARRY?

In very case Bruce collapses as if was JPB's daddy. All he has to do is says Bruce you are coward.

and Bruce cant say these words..... " I am not cowards... it is just that YOU are not worth showing any courage for. "

Finally she shows up with a GUN ....

so of course they RE MARRY?

You are a very gifted writer. I will read anything you write, even advertisements. That said, you have introduced a large number of characters. I imagine some of those in this story have been in other stories of yours, or will be, but it doesn't really matter enough to look up. The thing that strikes me is that you are using the same basic characteristics, with slight tweaks over and over. All your male characters base a hell of a lot on the size of a woman's tits. That is not especially uncommon, but it is a very common theme of yours, along with women with very big tits frequenting your stories. God knows, I love big tits, and small tits, and every thing in between, but I also know they do not define the woman.

That brings us to cock size. You male characters either have big cocks, or wish they did. I just don't think that men or women obsess about cock size. We joke and tell an occasional story, but we men spend very little time worrying about our equipment pleasing a woman. We do worry about pleasing a woman, but not because of our cock size. If we manage to get that far, she should be pleased with us as a man, shouldn't she?

The plot was good, the story well written, and I had no trouble with the ending, even if the wife did a complete 180, not after ten years of marriage, but after two nights away from him the last time. It is just that you like to toss red herrings in the story to occupy space and time, but have no real purpose, like the Italian girl with the (guess what?) big tits. I imagine she is from another story, or will be in another story, but is this becoming a Kevin Bacon thing, with degrees of separation? What did she add to the story? You have few, if any equals, in your ability to show and create emotions and to deliver a great story. You just get carried away, a little, with your secondary character development and descriptions. Why did the wife have no underwear on at a business meeting with Vic.? I can count on one hand the woman that I have seen in public that not only had no panties on, but let me see enough to know! I have even been going to J-Ville lately with high hopes! Thanks so much for the work and for posting for us readers. You are a pleasure to read.

Dide JPB fuck Angiequsophie and produce a child called .... DQS?

I really enjoyed this story. Your work continues to improve. Please don't stop writing. I check the site frequently to see if there has been another submission of your work.

Don't listen to the jerks that demean your work. I read every word and enjoyed it.

Thank you

I won't finish WWWM. It apparently doesn't matter how much the male characters in your stories get hurt by their whoring wives, they ALWAYS wind up back together again, so I guess what I'm saying is what's the point of reading your stories, when we already know the end? You could argue that it's not all about the ending, that the journey is just as important, but then you realise all your stories are identical: wife does something stupid. Husband finds out and leaves. Wife does everything in her power to hurt husband even further. Husband forgives wife. The end.

And before all the asskisser's start the 'why don't you write a story bla bla bla' or 'if you don't like them, don't read his stories'. Well, I say to the first, I don't have to be a mechanic to know my beaten up, old piece of shit car is a beaten up, old piece of shit car just like I don't have to be a writer to know DQS' stories are crap. Don't get me wrong, he's an excellent storyteller, but his storylines are worse than bad. And, to the second I say, don't worry... I won't.

I'm glad I just skipped to the end to see if it was a forced reconciliation pile of shit. If I'd have wasted 6 pages of reading time on this, I'd have been very cross.

I think it's pretty obvious how WWWM will end from your current body of work, though. So if anyone wants spoilers, there you go.

Loved the story. Loved the way it developed and the attention to detail.