Separation...?

It was late when she finally walked into the house. Molly had been spending more and more time at the office to the detriment of her marriage and her kids. That action alone precipitated the actions that were going to take place tonight. It has been a long time coming and I was going to force her to make a decision. I have no idea which she will choose and I'm not sure I care enough at this point.

"Molly, sit down. We need to talk."

"Dan, its late. We will talk later. I need to take a shower and go to bed."

"No Molly, we will do this now. I have been putting this off for too long." I was close to yelling, but I didn't want to wake up the boys. "Sit down NOW!"

Molly's face showed her surprise with the outburst that was out of the norm for me. I am very laid back and rarely raised my voice for any reason unless pushed.

"Okay Dan, what do we need to talk about."

"Molly, this is going to be less of a talk; more of an explanation. Our marriage has turned to shit the last few months. You are working late more often than not. You are ignoring your kids and me. We haven't been intimate in over 2 months. You haven't been home to put the boys to bed in 2 weeks. This isn't healthy for me or for the boys."

I handed Molly an envelope. I could tell she thought it was paperwork for a divorce, but not quite.

"Included in the packet is paperwork for a legal separation. It outlines the requirements that need to be met by both of us. I already have an apartment that I will be moving into for the next week. On Sunday, we will have dinner together with the boys and then you will spend the following week in the apartment. This will be the basis of our existence until one of two things occur. We will either figure out how to fix our marriage or we will divorce. Take this separation as the warning that it really is. Either we start to make an effort or we end this farce of marriage that this has become."

"Dan, I don't want this. I want to stay married and stay a family. I can't believe you are doing this."

"Make no mistake, this isn't what I want either. You have forced me to make decisions. I am essentially a single parent to our boys. Work has now become your priority or whatever you are doing for most of the night. You are making no effort to be a family. If it wasn't for the boys, I would have left you already. This is my last attempt to get your attention. I don't expect to be separated for long, so you need to figure out your priorities very quickly. Fix it Molly or I will fix it for both of us."

I left Molly on the couch and went to collect the last remaining bag I had upstairs.

Molly

I was just blindsided by my husband of 8 years. I hadn't thought that it was this bad, but I guess I have lost perspective as to what was going on with my family.

I opened the envelope to see what was inside. There were a number of documents that I will need to read through. I guess I need to figure out what I want. Dan doesn't play around with these types of things, so I know he is serious.

Dan was heading down the stairs with his bag. "Dan, can we talk about this some more? I really don't want this. Please, let's work this out. We don't need a separation or a divorce. We can fix this."

"Molly, the time to talk has passed. Mark my words, this is the last straw. If you want to save this marriage and remain a family, fix it!"

With that, Dan walked out the door.

I started to read through the terms of the separation. Each parent would be solely responsible for the care of the boys during the week they were staying at the house. They would need to get them up in the morning, take them to school, pick them up from school and care for them the remainder of the day. If there are any emergencies that arise, the other parent should be consulted to try to remedy the situation, but it will be up to the main parent to find a solution.

This will change my work habits pretty dramatically while I was taking care of the boys. I guess I took Dan for granted as he did all of this while I went to work early and stayed late.

There was language as to not having any outside partners spending any time while the parent had responsibility for the boys. While at the apartment, there is to be no visitors there either. Any violation would be grounds for an immediate divorce.

Each Sunday night, both parents would be present for dinner with the boys. It would be a prepared meal to be held at the house. No discussion of the events leading to our causing the separation would be discussed until after the boys have been put to bed. After bedtime, the other parent would leave and spend the next week at the apartment.

I guess I have some decisions to make.

Dan

That hurt, but I didn't see anyway to fix this without shocking Molly. It needed to be harsh as each time I tried to discuss our marriage was met with indifference, denial or I was simply ignored. I didn't express that I thought that Molly was having an affair. I didn't really want to know at this point, but it wouldn't surprise me that she was spending most of her evenings out with someone else.

There were subtle hints to that. A late shower after she came home, complete lack of intimacy, guilty looks when we did spend time together. She just wasn't the same Molly that I had married and spent the last 8 years with. She had changed. Her career never had mattered to her this much. She wouldn't have sacrificed her time with the boys just to get ahead. We didn't need the money as we both were doing very well for ourselves. There had to be something else.

I had planned on taking the next two weeks off from work, but I re-thought my plans and decided to go to work this week and then take the following week off. I had something planned for Molly to try to re-ignite our marriage. Time will tell if this proves successful, but either way I will have my answer.

Molly

This week was tough for me. I hadn't spent this much time with the boys in a few months. I didn't have their routine down compared to Dan. The boys were telling me more of what the routine was supposed to be than what I would have liked. Dan's point was valid. I had strayed from my family.

I called Dan a couple of times after the kids went to bed. We talked on the phone more than what we had done in the last few months as well. I really did stray. How did I let it get this bad?

I was looking forward to Sunday. It will be good to see Dan.

Dan walked into the house early Sunday afternoon. He immediately gave me a hug and a quick kiss. He then grabbed the boys and they started to wrestle around on the floor. Their bond was very strong, which is something that pleased me. I had a permanent smile on my face as I prepared dinner. I was making many of Dan's favorites which I also hadn't done in a long time.

It seemed that every time I turned around, I was noticing something that I had let slip in our marriage. Point well taken.

After putting the kids to bed, Dan and I had a chance to talk. "Dan, I now understand how things have slipped. I want to let you know that I will make an effort to place the family first. Can we stop our separation and get back to being a family? I promise, things will change."

"I'm glad you were able to see what I have been trying to tell you for the last few months. As much as I would like to be a family, I think we need to spend some time apart to make certain that this is going to work for us. I still love you Molly, but I can't be runner up to your career or whatever else was taking you away from me and the boys."

"That is the second time you have insinuated that there is something going on in our marriage besides me working longer hours. What are you implying? Are you saying I'm cheating on you?"

"Look at it from my vantage point. You have certainly changed over the last few months. I have no idea what precipitated these changes, but I have trusted you so far. I don't want to find out that my trust has been misplaced. If you have been cheating, that needs to end if we have any chance of making our marriage work. That is all I am saying about my suspicions at this point."

I didn't follow-up with any additional comments regarding these accusations.

"Thank you for talking with me tonight, Dan. I am going to say goodnight. I hope we can talk throughout the week to continue to work on us."

"Good night Molly."

Dan

I woke up Monday morning and started to get the boys ready for school. I had some plans for today that I wanted to get started on to try to save my marriage. As I dropped the boys off, I went to a flower shop to buy a single rose. I had written a note to go with the rose and placed them in Molly's car. I still had the extra key to her car and knew she would be at work. When Molly was finished with her work for the day, my surprise would be waiting for her. It was a simple gesture, but I was hopeful the impact would be huge. I left to run some additional errands.

Molly

As I was getting into my car after work, I noticed a single rose and letter sitting on my car seat. I felt a tear starting to form in the corner of my eye and I was anxious to read the message.

My dearest Molly,

This single rose represents so many things for me. It is a reminder of the flowers that I gave to you for your birthday shortly after we first met. The prettiness of those roses represents for me the beauty that you possess. The questions that concern flowers are how long they will last was symbolic of how long our relationship would follow. Everything with a rose is fresh, exciting, how they would bloom, the aroma of the flower. I liken it to how our relationship continued to grow from that point on. Our relationship was fresh and exciting with the hope that it would last forever.

Our love lasted beyond those first roses. It has continued to grow and blossom. With each passing year it brings on it's own fresh and exciting experiences. From the newness of newlyweds to the love of parenthood to watching our sons grow and take on their own opportunities and challenges. Each phase is like watching the rose open and grow to it's fullest.

My love, I will continue to buy you roses to watch them open, to smell their fragrance, to see their beauty. Just know that as they run through their phases, I am thinking of you as we go through our phases in life. I am looking forward to having you as my companion through them all. You are my true love, my soulmate, my rose!

Dan

What a beautiful message to receive from my husband. Tears were falling as I carefully folded the message. I knew what I needed to do to fix my marriage.

Dan

I was hopeful that my message was well received. Time would tell. I needed to run off to get the boys from school. I was going to spend the rest of the evening playing with them to make up for the week that I was away. Dinner, baths and bedtime soon followed.

I was notified via my phone that someone was entering the apartment. I forgot to tell Molly that I had installed a new Ring doorbell camera to help mitigate thefts of anything from my morning paper to the delivery packages that tend to disappear if we aren't there to pick them up immediately. I looked at the video feed and my heart nearly stopped. Molly was leading her boss into our apartment. I guess I have my answer to the status of my marriage.

Molly

I needed to end my affair with my boss. I asked Jim to meet me at the apartment so that we could end things properly. I was not going to risk things with Dan. I still loved him and planned to do everything I could to get my family and marriage in order. Jim and I talked for a good hour and then I asked him to leave reminding him that our relationship needs to go back to a boss - subordinate status.

Tuesday was uneventful at work. When I arrived back at the apartment, I had planned on calling Dan to thank him for the wonderful letter and rose. I was ready to express how much that touched me and tore at my heart that we weren't together.

I heard a knock at the door. A man that appeared to be a delivery man was standing in the hallway. I opened the door and verified my name. The delivery man handed me an envelope. "You have been served." Oh my god, what just happened!

I immediately tried to call Dan. His phone went directly to voice mail. I tried to think what could have changed since receiving the letter and rose to now getting divorce paperwork. As I sat in the living room it finally came to me. Dan must have found out about Jim. I'm not sure how, but that was the only logical explanation. Having Jim come by the apartment was a mistake. Dan expressly stated that we were to have no outside partners. I had violated that rule along with having an ongoing affair with Jim for the past couple of months.

I was finally ready to re-commit myself to my marriage to have the rug pulled out from under me.

I knew that the boys would be heading off to bed soon, so I waited until they would be asleep and knocked on the door to our house. I am going to be honest with Dan to try to save our marriage.

Dan

I had the divorce paperwork delivered to Molly at the apartment. I didn't want to embarrass her at work, but I am ready to bring an additional lawsuit against their company for violation of their morals clause within their employment contract.

I heard a knock at the door shortly after putting the boys to bed. I saw Molly standing at the door and for a brief moment I thought about ignoring the knock. That wouldn't solve anything, but I wasn't ready to talk to her either. I opened the door anyway.

"Dan, can we talk about this" as she waived the paperwork that was in her hand.

"Molly, I don't know that there isn't anything to talk about. You made your choice and we both have to live with it."

"I did make a choice and I want to spend my life with you as your loving wife and mother to my boys. That is the only choice that I have made."

"Molly, I saw your boss and you go into the apartment. I wasn't trying to spy on you, but I had installed a Ring doorbell camera for security purposes. I saw him go into the apartment yesterday. I thought that we had a chance to work through our issues, but you threw that away less than 24 hours after we had a nice dinner and talk on Sunday. I gave you my letter with the hopes to re-ignite our love for each other and you threw that back in my face to be with your boss. I just don't understand you and maybe I never will. Don't make this harder than it has to be. You made your choice and it isn't me."

"That couldn't be further from the truth! Yes, I have been having an affair with Jim for the past couple of months. I haven't been with him since our separation. I know that doesn't make it right and I did cheat on you, but nothing happened at the apartment other than I told him that it was over between the two of us. It was going to be a boss - subordinate relationship only. What you saw was me ending it with him."

"Molly, you still cheated on me. I was okay with not knowing and to put that behind us. I didn't try to find out, although I probably could have on many occasions. I bet it would have been as simple as to drive by the office late at night and I wouldn't have seen your car in the parking lot. All those times you were telling me you were working late was just a lie so you could be with Jim. Knowing your infidelity is worse than not knowing. Now that I know, I'm not sure I can forgive that."

"I'm sorry Dan. I didn't intend to hurt you. I can't apologize enough for my actions. I can tell you that my love for you hasn't changed. I realize my mistakes and I am ready to work on fixing those mistakes for you and my family. Please don't shut me out."

"Molly, I need some time to think about us and more specifically about the boys. They are my priority at this point. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, I can understand that and they are my priority as well. I haven't shown that recently, but I see that now. Thank you for taking such good care of them while I lost sight of those priorities, including my marriage to you. Please let me know when you are ready to talk about our future. I will wait for you to reach out to me."

Molly

I left the house and went back to the apartment. I have never felt more lonely as I do tonight. I haven't cried as much as I did that night. I hurt my loving husband and put others ahead of my family. I am resolved to do whatever I can to fix my mistakes. I just hope that Dan will allow me to do exactly that.

I need to show Dan he is my priority. I need him to understand that he is also my true love, my soulmate, my rose.

Dan

I didn't sleep much last night, but that doesn't change what I need to do for my boys. I will focus all of my attention to making their lives the best that I can, with or without a wife. I woke them up, dressed them for school, fed them and dropped them off. This separation maybe killing me, but their laughter and innocence is a welcome distraction. I will cherish these moments that I am able to spend with them.

As I drove back to the house, I noticed a single rose was sitting on our doorstep. Attached to the rose was a simple note.

You are my true love, my soulmate, my rose!

I cried.

Molly

The rest of the week went by very slowly. I didn't hear from Dan, so I was going to focus on our time on Sunday with the boys. I needed to make sure Dan understood that I am solely focused on my family and my marriage.

I arrived at the house early in the afternoon. We really hadn't set a time other than we were to be together for dinner on Sunday night. Dan had arrived early on Sunday afternoon so I took that as my invitation to do the same. The boys greeted me with hugs and smiles that lightened my apprehensive mood. Dan was just coming down the stairs to greet me as well. I took advantage of the opportunity and gave him a hug that I put all of my love that I could convey into that single action. I sensed his apprehension at first, but soon he was hugging me back. At least that was something to build upon is what I told myself.

"Hi Dan. I hope this isn't too early, but I missed my boys. All of them."

"It's fine Molly. They have been looking forward to seeing you as well. I missed you too, just so you know."

"Dan, do you mind if we do something a little different this afternoon? I was hoping we could take the boys to the zoo since it is such a nice afternoon. There is a park close by as well that I thought we could have a picnic after we are finished at the zoo. I have everything packed in the car if you are okay with that."

The boys heard the word zoo and immediately launched into an all out blitz to get Dan to agree. I knew Dan could never deny them, so we were soon in the car heading to the zoo. I took Dan's hand and held it as he drove. He didn't make any attempt to pull away. Possibly another block to build upon. It's crazy to think that these simple gestures were what I was pinning my hopes to try and save my marriage upon. These same gestures just weeks ago were the things that I simply threw away.

Dan

I have to give it to Molly. She was very good at pulling at just the right strings to break my resolve. The hug felt too good to deny. Holding my hand felt too good to deny. It doesn't fix all of the issues in our marriage, but this Molly was closer to the one I had fallen in love with so many years ago. I still had the nagging question as to how long this Molly would last before the "new" Molly returned.

The zoo was a great idea. The boys always loved walking around and looking at all of the animals. I spent these casual hours holding Molly's hand and feeling like everything was right in the world again.

The picnic was also a great idea. The boys ran and played as Molly and I laid on the blanket talking about simple things. No talk of our issues and struggles. The conversation was light and easy; nothing forced. I knew why I fell in love with her.