All Comments on 'Serendipity 01: Snowstorm'

I loved your story. The hesitance, the self-doubt, not just rushing in, all made it seem so much more believable, and as a reader, I appreciate the effort. I agree with you entirely about the stories that are, “I’m horny, dad, let’s fuck!” “OKAY!”, though some people prefer it that way. Different strokes, and all. I’m always amused and mildly irritated when writers feel the need to put in a warning that the story contains incest. Look, if you’re here, you are LOOKING for incest. This is an incest site. I honestly don’t think anybody gets to this site and says, “Oh my God! There’s incest here!” I think it’s more like, “FINALLY! I found the incest!” Literotica’s incest/taboo section will not pop up because you google “Insects”. That said, don’t kid yourself... this is an incest story. Own it. Dads and daughters fucking/having sexual/making love? Yeah, that’s incest.

From a writer’s perspective, if you want to tell the story from different points of view, it might flow smoother if you tell it from the “First Person Omniscient” point of view. Instead of Janey saying “I did this...” and then Lauren saying, “I did that...” your story might flow better as, “Janey did this. Then Lauren did that.” The reader doesn’t have to work as hard to keep track of who’s talking. But that’s just MY opinion. YOu do you! Excellent job, though. Eagerly waiting for more.

Great story easy to read and get lost in becoming one of the players. Presented so realistically that one could imagine this could really happen. I keep reminding myself it’s a fantasy.

Very well done. I am delighted I found your post while all caught up on my favorite authors. If chapter 2 is as well done I’ll have to add you to my growing list!

Keep writing so far I like your style.

Cheers

SAGE

Just spoilt this by her fucking her friend's father first instead of her own!!

Trailer park trash!! Whoring daughters