Serious Case of Hangry Crotch Beast

A serious case of hangry crotch beast

I was beyond pissed. The way I was feeling at that moment, if I could have amputated my entire lower body, and stole someone else's, I would have done it. No hesitation.

My vulva and the opening of my vagina were burning like crazy. I had tried everything, from drinking large bottles of water to new cleaning routines to healing salves to exorcism to just sitting butt-naked on my bed for hours in hope of airing it out. All in vain. I even made the mistake to consult the internet, who insisted that I had flesh-eating pussy cancer fever. I'm not even gonna tell you what treatments it proposed.

It had been like that for days. My gynecologist, of course, had no free time slots this month.

But the unrelenting pain was only part of the equation. Being no stranger to chronic pain, at some point, I learned to live with it - unhappy, waddling around broad-legged like the world's saddest cowgirl, but I managed.

No, to add insult to injury, this was precisely the time my libido decided to spiral out of control.

See, my libido is extremely volatile. I have gone literally years without wanting let alone having sex, perfectly happy. No interest in masturbation, even. One of those low-libido eras had triggered the collapse of a long-term relationship - good riddance, by the way.

And then, sometimes, it all comes back, with a vengeance.

It just so happened that I caught a serious case of hangry crotch beast at the same time as said beast decided to spontaneously combust.

I could barely even touch my vulva without receiving the pain-equivalent of a cat hissing at you in anger. Angry pussy, indeed. And it's not like indirect stimulation was an option - just getting wet made things worse. Sex with another human being? What a concept.

As you can imagine, this was not a fun time to be my roommate. To say I was a bit unfiltered, during those difficult times, would be an understatement.

Anyway, all of this to set the stage for the little story I'm gonna share with you now. Maybe you'll judge me at least a little less harshly, given the context. If not, I dunno. May your groin be consumed by The Double Burn as well, I suppose.

~~~

So it was a Sunday, late afternoon. The weekend withering away and dying - already the crappiest time of the week even if you were in top physical condition.

Three of my roommates had gone out to do something fun, while I was stuck with the B-team: Lazy-Karl, playing one of his silly video games, and Yours Truly, sitting next to him on the living room sofa with one little black storm cloud hovering above her head and another one above her crotch. I was thinking about ways to casually murder my boy Karl, not because I hated him all that much, just to pass the time.

"Okay, THAT," I finally snapped, pointing at the screen. "The Boobs-And-Butt pose? That was a controversy over TEN YEARS ago. This game came out, what, a month ago? Am I going insane?"

Lazy-Karl shrugged without turning his head. "It's an HD-remake of the original game. They tried to stay true to the spirit, I guess."

"Start from scratch, that's what they should have done." I sunk back into the sofa cushions with a little growl.

I checked the social media inferno on my cellphone. Today, it didn't take long for it to give me nausea.

So much pain. So much boredom. So much wrath. I couldn't even take a nap, because closing my eyes made my head spin. Was I actually in hell? Was Lazy-Karl actually a demon guard, with the headache-inducing electronic noises and flashing lights he produced on his infernal instrument?

I had enough. "Can you turn that shit off, actually? I'm kinda dying, over here."

Karl groaned, but with a shrug, he obeyed. All of my roommates knew about the specifics of my condition. Because I had told them. I had very much told them. A full briefing, in graphic detail, if you can believe it.

He let his head fall back, and pulled out his own phone.

I narrowed my eyes. Maybe it was the single tiny bread crumb stuck in his black, curly beard that really sent me over the edge. "Dude. Is that literally all you do, with your free time? Games and phone? I know we're not hanging out much, but I have NEVER seen you do anything else. Is this what your life is like?"

He stared at me incredulously, and silently gestured to my entire person.

"Well, I am literally dying of flesh-eating pussy cancer fever," I reminded him. "What's wrong with YOU, man?"

"I don't need much to be happy," the boy protested. "If more people were like me, the world would be a better place."

"You should start a religion. Better yet, don't." I took a deep breath, staring at the ceiling. "I dunno. Wanna play cards, or something? How about poker?"

He actually looked a little worried. "You know... I don't really play... Not exactly my thing..."

"Then I'll teach you, since apparently, I am a charity for dull little boys," I said.

We sat down on the big plush carpet between the sofa and the TV.

Despite my best efforts, the boy was hopeless. It was as if his mind was a sieve, forgetting the rules as fast as he could memorize them. He had the attention span of a goldfish with short attention span. Was that the infamous video game brain rot our parents had always warned us about?

When he messed up yet again, I felt as if the teeth in my mouth were growing longer and pointier. "You know what? I believe you need some proper motivation, boy. To help you focus. I'm turning this into strip poker now. Except you also gotta take your clothes off when you get one of the rules wrong."

"I, uh..." he never had been a fan of eye contact, but now he genuinely couldn't look me in the eyes. For the first time, his detached, laid-back attitude was crumbling. He was furiously blushing above his silly beard. That alone already improved my day.

"It's either that or you go outside and find something better to do," I insisted. "To get this started, take off your socks."

Reluctantly, he obeyed. I knew that he knew that it was better to humor me, in my current state, and I would take full advantage of that, thank you kindly.

Big feet, on that kid. They could have eaten my own for breakfast. The smell was not ideal, but I have experienced worse. Well-shaped toes, and trimmed toenails. Would probably have looked really nice with a little color. I casually reached out and gave those piggies a good squeeze. Remember, my mind was in a weird place.

"You better learn fast," I sang. "What with the heating situation in this place."

As it turned out, all that I had achieved by raising the stakes was to get him even more distracted. I had made it exponentially worse, basically. Not that I was worried about that - I was already playing a different game, by then.

I let my eyes wander over his exposed torso. He wasn't the most athletic guy, but besides his little boy-tummy, he actually had some decent muscles as well. A nice broad chest, ideal for sticking your face in. The silly little line of hair running from his belly button down into his pants made me angry, but in a way that made me want to shave it personally.

"Pants," I said. "While we're still young."

"I don't know..." the boy suggested. "Maybe we call it a day... The others might come home any minute now, don't you think..."

"Excellent," I snapped. "Then we'll all have a good laugh."

"Actually, I forgot," poor Karl stammered. "I got, like, that thing to do, in my room..."

-"Well, then you should have done that, earlier...! PANTS!"

He tried to run, the little coward, but I leapt forward and got a good grip on his belt.

Not only did I manage to pull down his pants, his underwear went as well.

He squirmed out of the rest of his clothes and crawled towards the hallway on all fours. Actually squealing like a little piggy, which did nothing to reduce my ferocity.

Dangling underneath his nicely shaped butt was a set of pendulous balls. I noticed something else, as well - he was SUPER hard. Hard, and quite big. Well, well, well... Our Lazy-Karl was packing some hidden treasure, as it turned out.

In my new hyper-awareness, I even saw the pre-cum dripping to the floor.

I got a hold of him again, and made him face the big mirror near the door. I was pinching him, squeezing him, scratching him. With our size difference, I looked like an angry Vietnamese koala clinging on to a flesh tree with claws colored pink.

Purely on instinct, I bit his neck, in a parody of the kill bite a lioness would give a wildebeest bull. The taste in my mouth was an absolute delight. Plus, I thought with grim satisfaction, this would leave the mother of all hickeys.

Karl moaned with his eyes closed. He put his hands on mine. But it was to secure them in place, not to push me away. His pelvis twitched in an involuntary spasm.

It was amazing how cute and pretty he looked now, all flustered and disoriented and helplessly horny. He was a big, bearded guy making silly little chirping sounds as he was squirming in my grip. I was in heaven.

I used how distracted he was to briefly let go of him and pull off my sweater, so there remained only my little noodle strap shirt between my person and his naked skin. I wasn't wearing a bra, as my nipples had felt a little sore for days now, though not nearly as bad as my poor groin.

From the way the boy flinched, I could tell he liked how my breasts were rubbing against his back.

With a sense of inevitability, I reached down and grabbed his shaft from behind. He really was quite a handful.

His naked butt was now gyrating against my martyred crotch, his tummy undulating as if he was doing a belly dance. His musk was so hot and heavy in the air, I could hardly breathe.

I bit him again, and he came with a high-pitched scream.

He ejaculated on the mirror. Like a shot-gun for cum. I had never seen anything like it.

We collapsed on top of one another, wheezing and marinating in our own plentiful sweat.

I was dimly aware that my pussy was burning worse than ever. But for the first time in days, I didn't care. Finally, a proper distraction.

As if he had read my mind, Karl said: "Wait... Oh... what about your...? You know...?"

He gestured towards my nether regions.

I waved his concerns away. "I'll live. Why don't you make yourself useful and help me put on some more of that crotch-balm? It's been three hours again." I raised my index finger. "Wash your hands, though. I cannot stress this enough."

-"Yes, ma'am."

With him still naked and bare, we retreated to my room, where I sat down on my bed and pulled down my pants. I closed my eyes and hummed to myself as he gingerly applied the cooling cream.

When Karl was done, he placed a respectful little kiss on my inner thigh.

I sighed.

And then I screamed. "The mirror in the hallway! Shit, shit, shit! The others will see!" My earlier bravado was long gone.

In utter panic, we dashed out of my room and gathered cleaning supplies, almost falling over each other like the absolute ass-clowns we were.

We were still busy when the door opened.

Our pal Sabrina found us on our knees, looking up to her from the floor with eyes like kicked dogs. Karl still naked, me only in my shirt and panties. Blissfully, the cum was already gone, but the mirror was still covered in cleaning product.

"I don't wanna know!", Sabrina declared. "Glad to see you must already be feeling better, girl."

_

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: It should go without saying, don't try this with your own roommates unless you've had a very productive, very specific conversation beforehand.]