- How To
- Sex After Sixty
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereFirst off, I'd like to say to all you young whippersnappers out there, stop saying eww. We older people have as much right to a good sex life as you do. Just remember only the lucky get old and if you're lucky enough to get to my age, you'll want to get laid too. Next, the only qualifications I have to talk on this subject are of a personal knowledge, as I have no professional training in this field.
Everyone, man or woman has a right to an active sex life no matter how old he or she may be. However, having that right does not necessarily mean you or your partner has the ability to fulfill that right. In most people, aging is a gradual process and we tend not to notice our loss of stamina and a lowering of libido. Many couples are amazed when they find out how long it has been since they've been intimate. There appears to be a certain time line and once crossed, sex disappears between them. It is an unconscious decision that we make, that going without is just easier than having sex.
Our sex life began declining after my wife went through menopause. As the closet sub in our relationship, I always enjoyed letting my wife take the lead in not only our marriage but particularly in the bedroom. With the hormone loss, came a lessoning of desire from her and although still willing to participate, she no longer had a strong sex drive. When you add in less lubrication and my no longer rock hard erection it tended to make sex work instead of pleasure.
As I kept getting the feeling that she was merely allowing, instead of wanting sex I would often fail to achieve orgasm and just give up. My wife took this as a lack of desire for her, further complicating our sex life. She interpreted my failed performances as a sign that she no longer had a desirable body. I repeatedly told her this wasn't true but to her she had my feeble erection as all the proof she needed. She told me many times that she didn't miss the sex as much as she missed the post coital cuddling. As for me, I just couldn't bring myself to tell her it wasn't her body that failed to turn me on it was her lack of a sex drive.
Everything physically appeared to work for both of us just not well enough for us to have sex. I turned to internet porn and masturbation and although not hard enough for intercourse, I would be firm enough to achieve orgasm. My wife turned to romance novels for much of the same reason. I kept jacking off and she kept losing herself between the pages of Harlequin as the clock kept ticking. It didn't take long before we just quit trying, weeks turned into months and months into years.
Finally, my wife came to me one day to say she wanted to have sex. As always, she was the aggressor and took the first step. She asked me what I thought was inhibiting our ability to make love. I told her I believed it to be honesty as we held back our own feelings from each other. I then went on to say that, I also missed our sex life and that we should put more effort into it. We gave it another try and achieved another failure. After finally giving up, we sat together on the bed naked both trying to find some way of accomplishing something we had done thousands of time. She asked me what I thought of the little blue pill or one of the many other male sexual enhancements. I told her I was concerned what they may do to my health but that I would be willing to go to a doctor and talking to him about them. I told her that I was capable because I could still masturbate to orgasm. She leaned over and took my limp dick in her hand. Then suddenly she let go of me and scooted back on our bed.
"Do you remember when we were young and I would sit back and let you watch me play with myself but not allow you to touch me?"
Just the thought made my dick twitch and I'm sure she saw it because she got that evil grin on her face that I always loved. She put her hand to her slit and separated herself with one finger. I told her she always drove me crazy with her teases so she continued. She began to rub her clit then she gave me that little girl frown as she said,
"I'm just so dry, I need to be wetter."
I got down between her legs and stuck out my tongue, yet not touching her. She ran her finger over my tongue and then inserted into her slit.
"Oh yes, that feels better, now open up and give me some more."
She used my saliva for lubrication repeatedly and just as she neared orgasm, she moved forward putting her slit in my face. She came for the first time in months that I know of and as for me I was hard and humping the bed under me. She lay back down and I mounted her as she helped insert my erection inside. As we made love, I kept going back to those times, long ago, as she pleasured herself while she teased me unmercifully. I came maybe not like a racehorse but at least as good as an old man can.
It was wonderful and we both felt satisfied, not only from the sexual act but also from accomplishing something we no longer felt possible. I went out that evening and purchased a bottle of sex lube to help her stay wet. The next time we tried it I applied the lube to both her and I and after I entered her, I talked to her of times past when she had driven me crazy with her sexy ways. Although she didn't achieve orgasm that time, I did and this satisfied her almost as much as if she had cum too.
We are now having sex, not as often as we once did but at least we are having sex. To all you seniors out there not having sex with your partner don't give up. Talk with your spouse, talk honestly, but not mean. It is hard to tell the wife she is not wet enough without her thinking you're calling her a dried up old prune. It is just as hard to tell a man that he's not hard enough without him thinking she's calling him a limp-dicked old man. Remain calm and if you insult her apologize and if you feel the same try not to take it personally.
As for the little blue pills, I never went to the doctor so I've never tried them. I feel my problem was more libido than physical but of course, I could be wrong. Don't be embarrassed about going to the doctor, they are prescribing these pills by the carload and I'm sure they're helping millions of couples. The only thing you need to do is take that first step and remember the longer you wait the harder it is to get back to that thing you both enjoyed so much when you were younger.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 4 years agoYour suggestions are sincere and "on the money". Candor plus sensitivity are vital in any relationship, no matter what the age.
Many thanks!
Anonymousover 6 years agoI married at 20 years old to my husband who had a very high sex drive. He was 25 at the time. Rarely did I have an orgasm though he worked real hard at trying to help me achieve mine. It was no great thing to me I loved him wanted to please him, considered myself as hormone imbalanced. Medical testing was done and we tried everything that is until I had to have a hysterectomy at age 38. When my levels were checked following surgery my estrogen level was near zero. My doctor was a great guy and knowing all we tried he said, "I'm going to give you something that will make you feel 20 years old again." I thought wait a minute, shouldn't you edit that comment and he said, "Just try it."It was Estrogen and Testosterone combo pill. Bingo, I must have been a couple quarts low from the beginning. I finally had my first multi-orgasm hell, probably my first real one if you want the truth. That was 21 years ago and I am still taking it. Things have only gotten better. My doctor said, he still has women on the same meds in their late 70's with no problem.
I need testing every year to guard against cancer but so far so good. I certainly would have had much less of a life if this hadn't happened so I consider it a win. So does my man, 40 years of marriage and still having a real good time at least a couple times a week for me, once a week for him.
miklosfairalmost 9 years agoNice to see other folks are in the same boat. As my wife and and I passed the age of sixty, much the same has occurred to us. She has some health problems that required her giving Premarin the heave ho. How this would affect our sex life, didn't concern me at the time. About a month after discontinuing the hormone, I noticed the wife was cuddling closer at night and occasionally copping a feel of my cock in bed. I'd had difficulty maintaining a strong erection, so I saw my p.a. about the little blue pill. With the premarin gone and the addition of the blue pill, a fascinating time has returned to our bedroom. We're not newly weds again, but the next best thing.
Anonymousalmost 11 years agogot married in 1999,i still have sex ,young 45 ,but my husband, 57, doesnt have sex that much,he has med. heath.i have notice that my father-in-law, 80, is making little things about me, like when all of us go out to dinner he would set across from me and he would rub my feet with his shoes .then back to his home when we leave the husband would go out to start the car. dad in law would hug for me very close ,for awhile.i just know he is missing her. i dont mind him doing this,i am glad he is well and heathly. we lost my mom-in-law in 2008.
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoI am going to show this to my wife .this is exactly the same problem we are having.she is over 60ty .she has no problem getting off,but I have a hard time keeping hard.but when I jerkoff I have no problem getting hard or cumming.
Anonymousover 11 years agoi wish i had the opportunity to experienc an older exoerience women.no sting attached.i dru and disease free.my ultimate fantasy.u need help with your wife im available. for her
Anonymousabout 13 years agoI think it helps to stay active as much as possible. My doctor told me a long time ago. Like with any other muscle, USE IT OR LOSE IT. It helps to be with someone you care much for. My wife is 29 years old and she will not let me get old. We have a good sex life together and I take her over the top quite often as she does with me.
Anonymousover 13 years agoI am 74 years old and have been divorced for over 25 Years. After my divorce I met a nice women and thought we would get married but things did not work out. So I stopped looking.
Throughout my life I have gone out on many dates. I have had my share of sex an am not jealous of the married couples who still do it.
Where I live there are many divorced and widowed women. Even though they may be near my age sex is still in their mind. I take them out for dinner and when the time is right they will give me the signal that they want to go to bed with me.
The last time I had sex was about one week ago. I knew the women and did not think of STD or anything else but something happened that scared me.
I woke up the following day and saw a little cream colored liquid on the tip of my penis. I thought to myself, what did I get at my age and I immediately made an emergency visit to my doctor. He examined me; told me to wait while he went his laboratory. He came back a few minutes later and told me that he put my specimen under his microscope and then he asked me when was the last time I had sex. I told him it was the day before and he smiled and
said,"YOU JUST CAME".
Anonymousover 13 years agoBefore sex at any age and over 60:::
have willing partner (depending on your gender and orentiation)
Anonymousover 13 years agoIf your health holds up, you can keep enjoying (some) sex. At seventy-plus, my partner is often very dry and requires careful lubrication during foreplay. She can no longer reach orgasm, but still enjoys trying (or us both trying) until her clit gets sore. Also at seventy-plus, I have an enlarged prostate, and my medication makes me shoot backwards: no cum comes! It feels and looks strange, but does not prevent us both enjoying most of what we used to do.
Anonymousalmost 14 years ago"As for the little blue pills, I never went to the doctor so I've never tried them."
I am amazed at the stupidity of this statement. This is the time to go to the doctor and to not fall on the petard of self-diagnosis. If the plumbing fails, there is a reason. In my case, it failed after a life time of excellent health, with daily, lifetime athletic training, no smoking and no drinking. The cause; a total shutdown of my thyroid. Simply taking a small pill of synthroid every morning has brought me back to life and made certain my years will not be cut short by your sort of ignorance. I could list a thousand other causes, many of wish are deadly.
Anonymousalmost 14 years agoI'm shocked that there are still guys over 60 who don't take one of the PDE5 supressors (Viagra, Cialis, Levitra) and who haven't made the investigation of the subject of old-guy sex their life's work. Back when I was 15 (about 55 years ago) I spent months in the library poring over medical texts looking at nasty diseased men and women but learning everything necessary to become an amateur gynecologist. I've spent the last few years repeating the experience only now it's on line and much more informative.
The general tone of disapproval from the public and particularly the powers -that-be (the legislators and the courts) and the medical profession has become worse as the technology improved, particularly in the last 10 or so years. There was a small interval mainly in the sixties and early seventies when society loosened up and then another tiny one in the late nineties when the medical profession realized they could make money out of the oldies' sexual dysfunction but here more than any other aspect of health and the body it's now necessary to be forceful and knowedgeable. Don't depend on the MD's to turn you into a super stud or even an old version of such. Do your homework.
You say "As for the little blue pills, I never went to the doctor so I've never tried them. I feel my problem was more libido than physical but of course, I could be wrong. " Grrrr... Libido is governed by your levels of testosterone which typically drop as we age. Most males of our age should be doing HRT like the women only our "H" is testosterone. But society hates this idea. Dreams of hormonally charged males raping their virgin grandaughters or synthetically enhanced athletes gaining an unfair advantage underly the discussion. Risks are vastly over-exaggerated probably to assuage the conciences of the blue-noses. The MD's for their part last heard of hormones in medical school years ago but know enough to understand that this is a vastly complex subject and since they see it as recreation (it's no longer procreation at our age) they feel they can fob off the customer with a PDE5 supressor and that's it. Since they won't do it, you have to: homework, homework, homework.
(Some minor insight on T (no substitute for your homework): There are multiple versions of T, some rarely tested for. The amount of T you need depends on the quantity of androgenergic receptors on your cells and their sensitivity. I've never heard of a test for this -- probably only research at the moment. Thus you can have high T levels with low receptor sensitivity and low libido or (as is the case with most teenagers) low T levels and high sensitivity and hence high libido. Teens also have much more of pulsitile production of T (and the other hormones) which appears to raise libido and the sperm production significantly. With old males T level production is almost flat. For current research try the Journal of Andrology and/or the British Journal of Urology (the US one costs money). Again, don't depend on your MD to do YOUR homework.]
IMO every aged male should be on T replacement, take a PDE5 supressor regularly and use some drug to raise the dopamine and/or norepinephrine levels (I use Yohimbine (USP grade) but L-Dopa or apomorphine could substitute - watch for nasty side-effects with these).
It's your body: you don't stop reading because you eyesight has deteriorated do you?
Anonymousalmost 14 years agoGoing a simalar route I can understand your problem however the blue pill gives a firmer erection and was great until high blood pressure stopped me from being able to take it. Oral and digital sex can keep things working for the wife, now though i have colon cancer so who knows how long i have to even continue this. So enjoy every day, talk to your partner about your feelings (men are so bad at this), Have a cuddle every day, and tell them you love them.
Anonymousalmost 14 years agoI'm 62, I wank almost daily, sometimes twice.
My unemployed cock works as well as it did when I was 16, I've always been way too healthy in that department, way too healthy, but my life has almost been a drought as far as real sex has been concerned.
First of all I'm fussy, I want a hot looking young and sexy woman whom I know is a clean living person, I lke to get to know the person, have some feelings for them, I could never have a one night stand.
Also I've never had an STD and I do not want to catch one, so I guess that plays a part in my drought as well.
Second, Even though I'm divorced and have been for 17 years, I have a real problem with being unfaithful. I know that sounds crazy, but that's me. I like to feel I have some kind of respectability I suppose, to be honest, I don't understand that, but like I say, that's me.
Third, I'm not attractive, yet I want the woman to be???? Go figure.
Fourth, I'm self funded retired but I don't earn a lot from my investment, in fact, it's less than a pensioner, so dating, nice clothes etc, are beyond my budget.
Fifth, I'm lucky, because I have the Internet. I have all the most gorgeous girls I need to allow me to sit here boned up for hours, until finally, when I feel excited beyond control, I can explode at will.
Another thing, I've always been hopeless when it comes to real sex, what I mean by that is, if I just went ahead and penetrated, a hot younger woman, the excitement would be way too much for me, I wouldn't last more than a minute, but with wanking, I can be boned hard for hours, so really, wanking is better for me, not that I wouldn't like it to be the real thing, but I had that with my ex, and I guess I thought we were going to grow old together, the fact we were doing that, made sex hot always for me, but, and here's another problem, she stopped having sex with me in her early 40's claiming she was A sexual, yet no matter what, I'd still find her sexy, whereas any other woman of a similar age would seem too old to me???
And you think taking a blue pill is a problem, lol
Thanks for your post, I hope mine gives you a laugh.
Anonymousalmost 14 years agoMy mate's sex drive gets stronger with age. She is past 60. I'm trying to figure that one out. I am training her to enjoy her mild submissiveness (she likes when I make her jealous) so maybe that has something to do with it.
