All Comments on 'Sex and Candy'

Loved it, great first story. Well done, looking forward to more.

I thoroughly enjoyed this well written and nicely structured story!!! The background information was important and the phone call was a great idea! I enjoyed the progression of this story and I loved the concluding revelations of the rings! Hey this is a fun story and I hope to see more from you!!! Thank you for sharing this story.

Hopefully the first of many good stories ... good job.

Very nice story ! Well written ! Just waiting for more nice stories :-)

Really? Your first? Where did you get all that practice cause, DAMN, this is a fine piece of writing. Fresh, inovative and heartfelt. Really good character development creating fully 3d people.I will be looking for your next outing.

@uk_writer_53: I have another story in progress! I'm not a particularly fast writer, but I hope to have it up early next month.

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@G5902: The "seed" for this story was two college girls that swap a boyfriend. I wanted it to be something that happened really quickly, from the guy's point of view, but I also wanted it to be a transfer of an emotional bond, not just swapping FWB's.

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I needed some way to make that feel natural and realistic, so having Sherry moving away was the first piece of the puzzle to make it all fit: a premeditated breakup. The phone call was a totally random inspiration that could allow Josh to see the sincerity in the two girls and prevent his own guilt at going out with (and falling in love with) Candy so soon after the breakup.

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Overall, it was a ton of fun to write!

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@stewartb: Appreciate the kind words, my friend! I plan to stick around, so keep your eyes peeled.

Nice story. Good timing. Surprise right at the end. This is right at the top in comparison to other authors, particularly new contributors to Lit.

Sweet story!! Thoughtful, believable characters in a realistic situation. Any conflicts are internal, and I liked hearing all sides first person. Your balance of internal dialogue, story line and erotic activity is spot on, and all ring true.

I was in a not entirely different situation ages ago in college, where my deep crush moved away at the end of the school year and I was, well, crushed, but a friend shyly confessed that she had been crushing on me. We didn't go slowly. We shared an apartment and a skinny bed for the summer. (After which she awoke to her true identity as a lesbian, and I was once again crushed, with no one to blame!)

Ok, it is different, but your tale transformed me back. Happier conclusion, no weight loss.

My only disappointment -

is that you don't have a huge backlog of stories just waiting to be posted. Every read of an author I'm unfamiliar with is a crapshoot; it's such a pleasure to find a voice such as yours, in a piece that speaks, has some length, a has me caring for the characters.

I also loved reading your notes about your process; I'm so glad you had fun with it! (It means we have a better chance of reading more from you, sooner, right?)

Please keep writing and sharing. I look forward to spending more time immersed in your stories.

Yours is a very welcome voice.

Excellent first submission.

Fine story! Yes, there are people who aren't made for casual sex, the want and need to have a emotional connection. It's easy to get lots of good sex and be very unhappy at the same time...

Please continue writing

We need more good writers/storytellers, the stable keeps shrinking. I really, really liked your story, by the way, in case I haven't made that pretty obvious.

Engaged so quickly, that ought to trample his heart a little further

@alexetlaure: I'm hoping to get my next one finished and submitted this weekend! (11/27-11/28)

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@Anon: I've written plenty of erotic scripts for the GWA community, but it is a totally different style of writing. Everything is in first person, and you only give lines to one of the people in the conversation. This was my first stab at a contribution I could put in to Literotica, a full-fledged romance with multiple characters. I'm glad you liked it!

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@Anon (2): The feedback on this story has been so far beyond what I was expecting. You can bet I'll keep contributing. Glad you liked the twist at the end, it just seemed like a natural way to complete things.

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@SeaReader: What a wonderful comment! You've certainly been a major encouragement to keep writing. I don't have a backlog of completed stories, but what I do have is a bunch of published scripts to draw from if I don't have the inspiration for something new.

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Many of the details in this story were drawn from personal experience. I was basically visualizing the layout of my own apartment that I lived in through college, which helped put me in the right frame of mind for all the interactions. At the time, I was dating a wonderful and kind girl, and she's now my wife of 16 years! The breakup and rebound part of the story is 100% fictional, though.

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I'll make you a deal. I'll keep writing, you keep reading, and leave me more helpful and deep comments like these!

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@Anon (3): Thank you!

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@Anon (4): Oh yes, the term you're thinking of is "demisexual." I'm definitely in that category, personally, so I tend to write from that angle!

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@A_Bierce: Awesome to hear such praise from a fellow writer! And a writer in the LW category, at that! I don't mind reading a good heart-crushing LW tale from time to time, but I don't know how well I'd do writing one. I'll keep pounding my keyboard if you do!

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@Rocky62: That wasn't really the intent, but I can see why you'd view it that way. You can tell Sherry is very apprehensive upon returning from her year away. She doesn't want to just drop the bomb that she's gone off and found her soulmate and accidentally rub it in Candy's face if she's currently single. When she sees that Josh and Candy are living together, that's when she decides to bring Jacob into the picture.

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I would hope that Josh wouldn't be heartbroken by that point, after all, it has been a year since his breakup with Sherry, and he's now engaged to Candy at that point, too!

Love both of your stories. Adding you to my faves. Welcome to the party!

The readers point of view is a confused college kid. He does not have any control over his life. Only accepting what others have planned for him and focusing on how he feels about it. The decisions he does make, are of no importance to his life or the lives of others. I'm more interested in Candy's thought process. She's the one, who makes significant choices.

Telling the story from other view points or even as an outside observer, explaining motivations of other characters would've made the story much better.

[22.11.22]

Top Shelf Writing!

11/10!!!!!

You need to write more of this. I love it.

Very good story, thank you! It's a refreshing change from shitty people and unnecessary drama on most LE stuff. I am mildly curious how she knew she was Josh's first. but guesses are kinda obvious.