Sex-focused Smoothie

"Omigod."

"Yes, and you are advised to steer well clear of her."

"I-I'll take your advice."

Early next evening, the despondent Darwin took a call.

"Hi, it's Vicki."

"Who?" he asked vaguely.

"Vicki Patton, you had dinner with us two evenings ago."

"Oh yes, the daughter with a beautiful skin and the lovely... um..."

"Shapely breasts?"

"Whatever. Why are you calling me?"

"I'll meet you at The Mill Restaurant for supper in 30 minutes."

"Sorry, I'm imprisoned in my own mind."

"Whatever that means is crap. Thirty minutes, I said."

Darwin entered the restaurant 45 minutes later feeling belligerent and hoping Vicki had gone.

But she was there and waved to him.

"Hi," he said, without smiling.

"At least that's a little better than your tone was to me on the phone."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Mum told she'd warned you off the bitch."

"And she suggested you should invite me here to join you."

"No, I did this all be myself. I have half-a-brain, you know."

Darwin smiled and said had smart cookie thinking told her she could catch him on the rebound.

"Something like that. Just being friends is good enough for me, at least initially. I'm not expecting you to have casual sex with me or to take me aboard as your girlfriend. But if either of them or both happen, then so be it."

"Hmmm, you appear to possess deep-centred intelligence."

"What do you mean be that, Darwin?"

"You cast the net adroitly and then step back appearing as if you're not holding the draw strings to complete the ensnarement."

Vicki said dryly, "Mom is anxious for the three of us to move on in life. She wants to sell our family home so that she and dad can live in a smart, smaller apartment with all mod. cons."

"She's a smart, devious and clever woman, I believe."

"That's very discerning of you, Darwin. "You've only known her for a short time and yet you expressed how she is perhaps better than I could have."

"Thanks, and tell me what your interests are?"

"Walking, arranging flowers, my work as a PA to a senior partner in a law firm, going to the movies, sex, singing, playing the violin, lying in a hot both late in the evening, eating out, bike riding..."

"Wow, you have a wide field of interests and I think there would be many more. How do you go on fellatio?"

"That's disgusting Darwin, you scarcely know me."

"Nevertheless, your answer please?"

"With you, freshly showered, I believe I could get into it with dedication. Now how about your interest in floral arrangements?"

"What are floral arrangements?"

Vicki sighed deeply and their waitress arrived.

As they left the restaurant after a chatty and friendly session, Darwin attempted not to picture the curves in her body as he asked, "What now?"

Vicki said, "Thanks for paying for my cheap supper."

She began walking away, turning to say smiling, "See you around."

Darwin stood helpless, breathing helplessly, his collection of thoughts, still unrefined, about what he'd like to do with Vicki Patton if they managed to generate more that a casual relationship, spinning around in his mind uselessly.

"Fuck."

He re-entered the restaurant for another coffee, double-shot this time.

* * *

Darwin entered Coffee A-Go next morning, half-expected a more favourable lecture from Wendy with perhaps a rider that he needed to be aware that her daughter Vicki was a little soft in the mind and unable to really commit to anything, including her own shadow.

Wendy spotted him and merely waved. She appeared busy inducting a new recruit behind the counter.

Damn, he'd been relying on squeezing an opinion from her about whether she thought Vicki would be right for him... err as a virtuous date, despite this being the 21st Century.

Darwin indeed felt helpless as this was new territory for him. Never before had he had a new date, well a half-date actually in this instance, walk away from his like Vicki had the previous evening, so dismissively.

In his experience, new dates waited keenly to be invited to go parking, or remained hanging around waiting for the right time when they could grasp the opportunity to have sex with him or alternatively to tartly explain, perhaps lying, that they were not that kind of morally-deplete female.

Who could he go to for advice? He'd avoid going to his mother for that purpose because he could anticipate her saying, 'This serves you right you multiple seducer of defenceless and innocent young women. Retreat in shame to your bedroom and masturbate.'

Yeah, his feminist mother would choose words something like that.

Defenceless young woman, what a laughed. Plucky young Vicki had cut him off at the knees without lifting a finger!

Darwin's friendly married co-worker sat opposite to him and opened her legs when realizing he was having a down day.

But her efforts to cheer him were short-lived.

"Is your car experiencing coolant leakage problems?"

"No," he said, amazed to be listening to a woman who actually could talk about cars technically."

He grinned at the sight of so much flesh above the stocking tops.

Initially, Irma smiled back but then flushed, unable to remember if it was a panty-less day for her. She excused herself, saying she must get back to her work and fled.

Darwin thought about how to break the impasse. Vicki had made the first approach and would be waiting for him to take up the reins. Eventually he decided to do nothing and hopefully his problem about relating to her would simply fade away.

That standoff lasted less than three days.

On the third morning following their so-termed (by him) 'half-date' at that restaurant, she called him at work, presumably getting his phone number from her mother.

"Why have you not called me?"

"What? Oh Vicki," he responded after a slight delay before recognising her voice.

"Good morning."

"Well, you are a cool one. Good morning to you."

"I didn't call you Vicki because it didn't occur to me to call you."

She then proved she was a cool one, too.

"Do we have to fuck before you'll take an interest in me?"

He thought Christmas, how does one reply to such a question from a woman. Count to five before answering, was all he could think of.

"Well?" she challenged impatiently.

"Um, are you really interested in fucking me?"

"No, you idiot," she said giggling. "At least not just yet."

Time for a pre-emptive strike to clear the air, he decided.

"Why did you just walk away from me at that restaurant."

"What other option did I have/ You were showing no signs of kissing me and I interpreted that as a possible rejection."

"What?"

"Do you really want me to repeat that explanation?"

"No, sorry. Me saying what was just an exclamation of surprise. Perhaps we can commence a friendship that may include kissing and some mild preliminary groping."

Darwin asked why she appeared to formalizing their dating if there was to be dating between them.

"It's because I saw you through the curtains at our family home last Friday night. You animal, you appeared almost ready to pounce on Davina and lower her to the bricks of the patio and rumble with her and nothing she would have liked more. She makes sexually-focused males react like that."

"I hadn't thought of her as a sex object."

"Truly?"

"You heard."

Vicki apologized and said her problem was she was jealous of her older sister who was a glutton for sex and didn't appear to have to get all she could handle without trying."

"Ah, Vicki, I understand. In contrast to Davina, you lack her allure to males and as a result

scratch around for sex and possibly, in frustration and without realizing it, have adopted techniques that actually discourage males sniffing around you."

"Don't be so disgusting."

"Ignore that sniffing term, focus on what I've suggested of you tell me why you think you are failing to connect, um romantically?"

"Wow, your relentless pressure over this is making me think of having sex with you. Look, I'll think deeply about your hypothesis."

"Think about it emotionally, not super-technically. Emotions are what bind people into relationships together with a few emerging common denominators."

"Gawd, that's a mouthful but I'm aware you are an analyst, well sort of, in your line of business. I'll simplify my thinking about what you said earlier."

"Great and meanwhile, let's pencil in an informal date for this Friday evening. I suggest we go to a bar first and then to a restaurant that looks the place to relax fully."

"Omigod, Darwin. A real date. Thanks."

Wendy handed Darwin his coffee next morning and said, "You have excited my Vicki to the core by deciding to date her and for helping to sorting out her dating problems."

"Thanks."

"She's decided she'll marry you."

"What?"

Wendy turned away smiling broadly.

Sipping coffee as he worked to his office, Darwin came to a sudden conclusion, thinking that cunning mother who wanted her three daughters to leave home. She'd just planted the idea of marriage into his head.

"Cunning bitch," he muttered and then didn't know what to think.

Chapter 2

Darwin emerged from the building that housed the firm he worked for into a sunny Melbourne afternoon and spotted Vicki waiting for him, on the road edge of the wide footpath.

She returned his wave and he hurried over and lightly kissed her upturned lips, their first kiss on their first full date. He remained pressed against her and reached around and squeezed a check of her slim ass.

"Omigod," she gasped, appearing flushed.

"My apartment for sex or what?"

"I-I," she stalled.

"In that case, let's stick to our schedule of bar and then find a laid-back restaurant for dinner for two who are without reservations," Darwin said.

"Wow Darwin, you pulled me out of a tight corner then. You're so smooth."

"Yeah, right and thanks. You know, we can postpone venturing into mutual sex until we become mature, say in our early 40s."

He watched her face in the light shining from the entrance to the building he'd just emerged from. Her face appeared to lose colour and her eyes enlarged as if she was in the early stages of being terrorised.

"Relax," he said reassuringly. "I was just joking."

"Omigod,' she said pulling him back in close. "Clutch my butt and squeeze tightly, really hard, to remind me you are keen on generating physical connection with me. To slightly modify an old quotation, 'Man Does Not Live by Bread Alone' the same could be said of love and sex."

"Oh, really?"

"Darwin!"

"Sorry, just joking. This tells you I'm not very good at delivering bewitching humour. Perhaps my expertise lies in delivering fantastic sex. It's up to you to find out, and I suggest quickly."

"Come on, I need a drink," she said, after enjoying a sensitive clutch of her butt. She grabbed his hand and being leading him off practically panting.'

"I sense it could be a challenging living with you, Darwin. Perhaps we could commence with a trial this evening."

Darwin began whistling cheerfully, and in tune.

The End