Sex in the Navy

The pirate chief wasted no time coming out in a cigar speedboat to check us out. Maybe they thought we were Brazilian trannies. They boarded the boat and proceeded to make sexual advances. The two navy seals popped out just as the pirate captain was starting to get his enormous cock into Beanies' ass.

I was luckier. The guy assaulting me seemed to want a blow job, so against my better instincts, I came to my countries service. The Seals were a bit slow in their arrival. Bean protested he hadn't yet ejaculated. I got cum sprayed right on the forehead by my pirate, who pulled out in fear when the Seals arrived.

Once we'd captured the two head honchos, it was an easy deal to arrange a swap. In two hours, the Congressman, the Governor's guys, and three beach bunnies wearing only bikini bottoms were traded for the captured pirates. The broads looked like they were on a photoshoot for Playboy. When our big ship appeared on the horizon, no pirate was going to argue with that.

Beanie's pirate lover refused to get off the boat, citing his Ghanaian right to conjugal visits. The Seals just grabbed him and threw him into the pirate's small motorboat that had come astern to claim our hostages.

The whole episode made headlines back in the US. We were invited to the President's Rose Garden with the playmates, who now were fully dressed. We posed for publicity pictures and special commendations. The president was really friendly and gave us red baseball caps. His wife, the one who used to be married to the Russian Prime Minister, gave us a can of Spam and a list of healthy foods.

Before we'd returned to the naval base, the president's son, took Beanie on a tour of the family quarters. When they returned, I noticed the first son's fly was unzipped, but I said nothing. Of course, CNN picked up on it, and another scandal was added to that week's news. I don't understand why the fake press treats our king and queen so poorly.

I graciously accepted Jocasta's offer, offered to repay me for my service. She was a big titty blond. We found an empty closet that some Russian guy was sitting in wearing headphones. Seeing we were desperate, he went to take a piss and quick as we could, we did the dirty. The Russian guy wanted his fucking turn, but Jocasta wasn't no traitor. The Russian grabbed her ass and said,

"Not so fast, you must tell me your name for my report."

"Jocasta," she replied, "now take your commie hands off of me."

"Ah yes, Jocasta in Russian means big tits," and he pinched her left tit real hard.

I had to push the little guy away. Jocasta thought I was a Navy Seal, I didn't see any reason to set her straight. She seemed disappointed in my 8-inch cock. She said she thought Seals were "overhung," whatever that meant. I had no complaints about her. It was a fast standing up fuck, but it was one of the best!

When we went back to the oval office, I asked, "Where do you find guys with bigger cocks?

"I lived at the Playboy Mansion for six months. We'd get these basketball players who were just huge," she sighed, "and oh so long," and she went on and on.

Jocasta excused herself to find a lady's room to clean up. I think the Russian was following her as she left.

I 'd rather not comment on what she told me about her basketball experiences. She'd gone into more detail then I wanted to hear, especially about the dribbling. It did remind me that we did have one guy on the ship who was hung like a trapeze artist. His cock was so long in the shaft that the sailors and bar girls refused to let him fuck them. He ended up with a lot of blow jobs and jerk-offs, but in the end, he found a bunkmate who kept him happy one way or another. I guess having a giant wang ain't no tea party.

So, if you were to ask me, "Did I cum to the White House?" I can I assure you I did cum, even Miss Jocasta admitted I was fair fuck. She also grabbed onto my ass and tried to keep me from pulling out, but once you've done your duty, your stuffing shrinks, and it is time to call it a lay.

The Defense Department was very pleased with all the good PR we provided. As a reward, the Navy gave Beanie and me two weeks of shore leave in New York City. Also, some bonus cash so we could fool around. I think it was the first time the public was happy with the armed forces since when we invaded the Falkland Islands and freed them from the English.

We even got our "pitchers" in Time Magazine, although they misspelled Beanie's name and called him "Peanie." I was described as a Navy Seal. I guess because I looked bigger in the photo and the Bean is a half-pint. They sure didn't mention the sexual details of how we captured the pirates. That off-color stuff is top secret. Just as well, back in Texas that gay stuff isn't popular outside the backroom fuck bars when no one is look-in.

We made the most of this shore leave vacation and bunked in a hostel. Beanie said he spent most of his night time at a gay club in Soho. He told me he got butt fucked six times in one hour. When he's had a few beers, Beanie says the damndest stuff. Like how a Policeman chained him up in a bathhouse and poured melted candle wax on him. Or the bartender who took him into the basement with two customers who took turns blowing and fucking him. I don't believe that stuff really happened. Bean just likes to tell silly stories.

I enjoyed a tour at the Museum of Natural History. I was standing in front of a wooden display with a rat-ler serpent when some gal pushed the button, and that thing's rattler took off like an ambulance. That turned out to be Alice Smithers, a tour guide who insisted I join her tour group. When the tour was over, she took me down to the cafeteria, where we had a light lunch of tuna fishes sandwiches.

Alice was a college student working part-time at the museum, so she knew her way around all the secret passages. She was very religious. Alice crossed herself before getting fucked. I was amazed at how big her ass was, as big as a front line footballer. One time under that pyramid, she was on all fours, showing me some sexy stuff on the stone inscriptions when she pulled down her shorts. Fucking her doggy style Wasnt easy, cause of her big butt. I got my dick a few inches in her vag in that position, but that was about all.

Alice was adventurous and great fun. She had the keys to back rooms where older exhibits were stored. I'm embarrassed to say we made love in a bunch of crazy places. We had sex in a room filled with dinosaur bones and then on top of a revolutionary war one-man submarine discovered underwater a few years ago. We tried fucking in a balloon basket hanging from the ceiling. We had to use a 15-foot ladder to climb up into it. I learned a lot. My favorite fucking place was a mummy's sarcophagus. Alice was so tightly squeezed while I fucked her, she could hardly get out of the thing.

"It's the mummy's curse," she cried. I had to use a wooden staff from the Pharaoh's exhibit to pry her fat ass out of the "cough-in."

Alice knew about all that stuff in the museum exhibits, and she was an expert cock sucker. She just loved cock.

"I won't fuck on Thursdays, only blow jobs," she'd say. But on that day of the week, she'd blow me till I couldn't stand it. She shoulda been a trombone player, never lost her breath. Then she'd suck my cock till I'd run dry.

On other days I fuck her more than once. While we was waiting around for me to get a second erection, she taught me to eat her pussy. Sometimes that was a bit too much for me. Like most American housewives, I sometimes had to fake a second climax by crying out in my usual manner when I cum. Since her snatch was already cum seeded, she couldn't tell the difference. I got away with it more than once. Like we say in the Navy, "you gotta do what you gotta do."

When I came back the next day, and we got us some privacy, I tried doggy style once more. I was just enchanted by how big her ass was. You'd need a dick that long to get close enough with that giant but in the middle. She admitted that the only time she had good rear entry sex was with a porno actor who had a 12-inch dick. I said, "No harm, no "fowl."

Two weeks pass in minutes when you are busy fucking. Time just leaves you in the dust, as we say in Texas. Instead of sending us back to our home ship, the Navy transferred us to the Maryland Naval Base. I think they wanted us nearby for any PR work or politicking they might need us for. Neither one of us knew what the hell the difference was between Republicans and Democrats. We knew one represented the commies and the other the fascists, although I wasn't too sure what a fascist was.

We weren't even too clear as to which of them was Democraps or Pube-licans. Or what those words meant, but we knew them was fighting words. We sure as hell were against any sugar tax on our Coca-Cola, and God knows as quasi orphans, we were against the death tax on inheritances.

When we got down to the Naval Base on the Patuxent River, they assigned us to quarters in an old building. We bunked there until our orders came through. We were hoping to ship out in the Submarine Service.

"Wow, that would be cool shit," said Beanie, "taking it in the ass underwater."

We were told a bunch of Arab cadets were checking in for terrorist training. The next thing we knew, we were assigned to bunk in an old converted motel with a leaking ice machine in the hall. The good thing, a 7-11 store was across the street. We had only one bed in our room, a queenie. The weather was hot, we stripped down to watch the old tube tv and split a 12 pack of beer. I guess the government has little faith in the flat screens.

With 6 cans apiece, we got pretty stewed. I have a vague memory of getting a hard-on while I was dreaming of Wanda, that black high School drum Majorette I had a crush on. In my dream, I had my dick right in that Beyoncé ass of hers. What a sweet dream!

In the morning, when I woke up, my pubes was coated with dried cum. I noticed Beanie's bare bubble butt was crusted. Wow, that was odd. I didn't quite understand how that happened. Since the cans were all over the room, I decided to clean up the place. I gathered them cans and carried them out to the dumpster. A homeless guy was busy going through the trash, so I gave him the box of cans.

"You got any weed brother?" homie said, "Hey man, I'm a vet."

"Sorry, bro, I'm a drinker, not a toker."

"Well, you shoulda brought me down a full can," said the homeless guy as he sucked up any brew residue left in open cans."

"Hey, don't do that," I said, "them is germs."

I fished in my pocket, found a dollar and a few quarters, and handed them over.

"That all you got?" he said, pretty angry. I took that as my exit line and went back upstairs. Beanie was showering.

"Hey Bean, can I come in? I gotta piss."

"Sure, I'm just scrubbing your dried cum load off my ass," said the Bean.

"Did I get ya wet, jeez, I'm sorry."

"No biggie, but who the fuck is Wanda."

"Oh shit, I musta been talking in my sleep. You remember Wanda, the big black luscious cheerleader."

"Oh yeah, I sure do."

"See, I used to jerk off to big ass in my 'mind video' after every home game."

"In that case, you are excused brother," Bennie said, rubbing his ass cheek. Job well done."

A few days later, we were thrilled to receive orders for Submarine duty. We had to wait to attend the Submarine training school, starting in a few days. Meanwhile, we had to go up-country to the Groton Connecticut Naval Submarine Base.

Just for the hell of it, we decided to hitchhike after we missed the bus. We got out on the highway and tried to figure out which entrance went north. After a half-hour, we got picked up by an odd-looking couple in a 25-year-old rusted Ford Station wagon. The wood trim on the side was all faded and covered with deep dents. The motor, somewhere inside the black cloud of smoke, seemed to be humming along nicely.

"We gotta stop every hundred miles and put a quart of oil in," shouted Preacher Jesus, who had one of those long beards and was wearing a cross big enough to crucify a squirrel.

"Sailors, get yourself into the pussy wagon," Jesus shouted out of the smoke cloud.

We saw he had a brown and tan tabby cat seated next to him. He pointed backward with his third finger, which seemed strange. We tried to open the back door, which wasn't easy, but a naked foot kicked it open from inside, and we went on in.

To our surprise, there was a honey blond young woman seated inside. From the high kicks, she gave the door, we were well aware she wasn't wearing any bloomers.

"Say hello to our sailor guests, Molly," said Preacher Jesus.

"Hy guys," she said with a big grin, "I'll bet you guys have big cocks."

"Don't pay any attention to her language.," said the preacher. "My wife, Molly, is perpetually horny."

"Why is that?" said Beanie.

"Well, my brothers, the wife, and me used to fuck once or twice a day till I decided to take a vow of abstinence for one year."

"What the fuck is abstinence, " said Beanie, "That French booze that makes you go blind?"

"No, Beanie, that's absinth," I interjected, "What the preacher is saying is he promised God not to have sex for one year."

"Can you jerk off?" said Bean.

"Nope," answered Molly, "he can't even touch his cock, or it swells up like the Hindenburg."

"What the fuck is a Hindenburg?" said Bean.

Beanie, stop with the questions, please.

"That's ok," said the preacher, "to learn the ways of the Lord, you gotta ass' them questions."

"See, said Beanie, there ain't no harm done."

"The Hindenburg," said Jesus, "is a German City that got sucked into a giant sinkhole fifty years ago cause they had too many pederasts."

"What's them," said Beanie?

"Them is the gay brothers. God don't like'em."

"Good thing God never joined the Navy," said Bean.

Then the Beaner turns to Molly, "So sister, how you doin' without getting any cock."

Molly was quick to answer, "Oh, I'm not quitting, no way. Whenever the preacher picks up a hitchhiker or two, like you guys, I just let 'em fuck me as much as they can."

"Wow, what you talkin' bout," said Bean. "You mean I'm going to get a taste of your cherry pie."

"Well, it's far from a cherry at this point, but I'm still tight enough to squeeze your cock into a cum down."

"Don't that sound good," says Jesus.

Bean turned to me, "What's a cock cum down?"

"I guess that's when your dick gets soft after you come," I said.

"So what are we waiting for Darling," said Beanie, "Let's get it on."

The Preacher piped in, "You can fuck her all you want, but you cannot eat her pussy."

"No problem father, we can manage with them rules."

"And she don't suck cock," Jesus added.

"No, I don't," said Molly, "that stuff is just disgusting."

"Can we fuck her in the ass," Preach?

"Yes, you may, ass fucking ain't even sex."

"You are right about that, Abbott."

The preacher pulled over, Molly put down the rear seats, and we had a cushioned platform to start our fucking. I will say this, I never saw a bitch hornier than this Molly.

Beanie started taking off his pants and briefs. Molly just lifted up her skirt with no bloomers, as previously noted.

"You got a big pecker for a little guy," she said to the Bean.

Beanie liked to jump right on top of Molly, and before I could tell, he's got his cock in her cherry pie. Then Beanie did something I never saw done, even in a porno, he stuck his right thumb right in his ass hole.

"Hey Preach," shouted Bean, "can we play with her tits, I mean suck em?"

"Yes, my son, do what you gotta do, that shit is part of the fucking process."

"Just one last question, Preacher Sir, before I do the spill my seed in your wife here. Do you want me to pull out or wear a rubber?"

"No, my son," said Preach, "We welcome your sperm as a manifestation of the Lord and the Holy Spirit."

"But Preach, without a condo I could get your wife pregnant."

"That would be fine, we believe all life is sacred. We oppose Roe vs. Salmon and are in favor of shooting all of them damn abortionists."

"You mean, abolitionists?" said the Bean.

"Yep, them too," said Jesus.

"I'm ready for the fucking," said Beanie, "Enuff with the talk'en"

"Get to it, my wife is super duper horny."

Well, the Bean's dick was already in place, so he went to work on Molly like a mongrel dog fucking a pedigree bitch. He fucked her all the way across Delaware to the New Jersey line. He came at least twice that I counted. All through the fucking, Molly shouted and cried and moaned and begged until she got everything she wanted. When the Bean finally pulled his dick out, he finally pulled his thumb out of his ass. Then he shouted,

"Next batter up," and he rolled out of the way.

Talk about sloppy seconds, her cunt looked like a hurricane had taken place inside it. Her labia were redder than red. Molly was loaded with custard if you know what I mean, and out a breath.

"Take it easy on me, big man. That cock may not fit, just go slow till we see."

"Of course, it'll fit." I was sure of that.

I had to push my dick through all of Beanie's deposit, but I guess it served as lube. I slid my dick inside, easy as spam on a hot griddle. Got all the way deep inside, right up to my balls. No need to rush.

She laid there pretty exhausted, but I could tell by her expression that she was enjoying every push-pull. In the final minute, she came alive and met every thrust with a counter. When she orgasmed the last time, she let out with a loud yodeling noise.

Preacher Jesus piped up, "If she yodels, that means you fucked her real good. God bless."

As soon as I finished, my swollen cock went back into first gear. Molly gave it one good cunt squeeze, and my dick plopped out of her snatch.

I lay there catching my breath when Molly said, "you ready to go again, big man,"

"Give me a few minutes, hun."

That was when Beanie piped up,

"Shit Molly, I'll fuck you again, but this time you better yodel."

I moved back, making room for the Bean. He rolled Molly over and jumped on with one leg slung over her ass and wham, he was inside her asshole. She must have liked that back door stuff because she started yodeling just like they do on the Grand Ole Opry. The Bean obviously hit the right spots.

The preacher piped up,

"Calm down, guys. I'm going to pass through a toll booth. They don't garber people fucking on the toll road."

Molly was ready and grabbed a bed sheet and pulled it over us. Beanie just kept fucking her ass, you could see him through the cloth, humping up and down like a steam locomotive.

The toll guy had a good sense of humor, "You got a wild animal in the back seat or is someone fucking my wife."

Molly stuck her head out from under the sheet and shouted back,

"Hey, you ain't my hubby."

"Naa, I'm kidding you. I'm working now. Mam, but me and Henry, could I fuck you on your way back."

I ventured, " Molly, do you know that guy?"

"Nah, but I've let him and his brother fuck me a few times. Not a very good screw. A pencil dick who cums too quick."

Meanwhile, Beanie hadn't let up. She had no complaints, she slipped the sheet over them as we pulled back into traffic. The Bean was holding on to one breast. His other thumb was still stuck up his ass.

By the time we reached the rest stop near the submarine base, Beanie had waggled every last bit of fuckdom out of Molly. I had to pat him hard on the back to get him to stop.

"We arrived, "I shouted in his ear.

We wished Jesus the best and thanked them for the orgasmic blessings bestowed on us. Molly was snoring loudly, so we didn't wake her.

The preacher pulled off the road and dropped us off at a Roy Roger's chicken place. We got out with our duffle bags. Then the two of them headed cross-country to new fucking adventures.