All Comments on 'Sexy Sleepover'

It was really short, it didn't really climax!

The most difficult thing to do in any erotic story is get it right when the moment turns sexual. Yours doesn't feel right. Slow down and expand.

And learn the difference between lie, lay and laid. "We laid in her bed" or "we laid there naked" just jars! In both cases it should be "lay".

I find your story okay. Don't listen to the Bashers. Its too clean though. And everything is too tame. It would be more interesting if your character would be more devious and more nasty, you know, like she's looking at her friend, giving an innocent smile but thinking, "Shit! I need to fuck this bitch! but how do I fuck this Bitch?" "Hey Leah, want a beer? Want a joint? You know what, I just stumbled across this video wanna watch a bit? Just a bit..." Have either of them had lesbian sex before? Do they have boyfriends?

As for this laid/lay debate, its lay, but most people say laid, so WTF? All the best. If this is a true stry, you must do many naughty things with your friend. Cook for her in sexy lingerie and make her watch and masturbate but don't cum too much! Tie her up and cum all over∞ then untie her and cum all over her again... Just eat her out a lot... That's what these lesbians like.

A girl I know has a very conservative mom. The girl's bi but prefers girls only. So, she told her mom she's a lesbian and she's gonna come out. She expected to get bitch slapped all the way to next week. But the mom said, "What! You're a fuckin dyke! OMG! YOu have to eat my pussy!" "What! Why are you taking off your clothes..." "Listen! Dykes are huge, great sluts and they have to be made to eat the pussy they came out of! Its the dyke law..." "Ewww! Gross! Stop it!" "C'mere Bitch! I've always wanted to try out some dyke shit! Now we gotta dyke in the family so you know...."

I want sex stories a little juicier like my gf and me. We so better than that.

This is the first story i ever wrote, but it is a true story of everything that happened.

I loved it could we have a second chapter please even if its to say whats happened to you both since

Good, especially for a first effort. The matter-of-fact telling gives it immediacy and makes the reader feel like she's there too. Keep writing and study experienced writers.

So, i'm not saying that this is FACTUALLY written by a dude,

& or that you're FACTUALLY a guy,

but this seems VERY stereotypically-repetitive,

fantasy-based, & not to mention rushed as fuck.

BUUUUUT, having said that, it definitely got me a Lil' bit excited <3 as a Lesbian though? Slow the heck down silly?

Like, why skip over ANY juicy, steamy, kinky details?

You know what i mean? <3 i hope that this isn't just some horny, greasy, creepy fuck-boy though.. Lol!

Could really do with some of this tonight ...

They're 18. So good to know that they're 18. Good grief, Charlie Brown, they're 18.

Obviously "written" by a teenage boy. Stupid and unbelievable.

This is obviously 50/50 but the hate needs to go this is most likely a confession of some girl “for the purpose of this story” (fake names) it’s Aight I’ve read it like 50 times since 2018 It’s just good in my opinion because it feels like real confession not the made up stuff Over exaggerating orgasms etc just simple sex