All Comments on 'Shadow Crow Ch. 01'

Has the beginning of a good real good story. Please check your gramercy and it will be better.

There are few grammatical/spelling mistakes but not so atrocious at to render it unreadable. I like the story set up, the characters that are being developed, hmm, it could be a good series. If the author doesn't get fed up that is and has to eat his own words, so so many unfinished stories!

Sorry but I didn't get past the first page.

How pathetic is it that you can't survive two pages of story set up without going ADD on a first time author?

I can see the influences of some of our shared reads.

I too would suggest another go at proofing before publishing.

Its good like this. You have to complete it though.

You have my attention

Keep the story going

Interesting start so far. Make sure to closely reread your stories for misspellings, people will hound you about this, as I guess I am currently.

Good dialogue between the characters. Good flow. I thought some parts were a little too wordy but that's just me. Overall very well written.

Questions:

If the super-heroine tells the man with the Russian accent that one more attack on Phil will result in the end of the treaty, to which the man responds that the next time he seems them, he will kill them both, shouldn't this in of itself end the treaty?

Also if Phil can learn almost anything for 3 hours, why wouldn't he go to Vegas and play blackjack every 20 days to get some cash? I can think of other things that he could do to enrich his life so I'm curious to know why he doesn't.

Also what was the significance of his shoe at the end, lying next to the door, to which he says "well that's no good?" Was he injured? It read to me that he just lost his shoe.

Thanks for posting!

Not a bad start, short but not bad. Just when it begins to get interesting - gone for good.........