All Comments on 'Shadow Falls'

What a dick, glad he got his just desserts.

A good story, well written and described. There was a fair bit of padding but nothing boring or meaningless and perhaps the supernatural episodes could have been a little more frightening, but overall very enjoyable. My only real criticism is that he didn't suffer enough. Cheating is one thing and there's rarely a justifiable excuse, but murder, and this was certainly murder, is never excusible. Mark, being back with Carol, even in death seems too little punishment.

Gumbo25, like so many writers on this site, has had a definite template through which every story passed. It's a good template, much like Lover1953's similarly definite template has been. So even though one can anticipate where the story is going, getting there is still a good experience. But...this time, Gumbo25 broke the mold. Such a radical departure. Everything is different. No cheating wife, instead the MC is the cheater. And what he does about it is so terrible. If anyone doubted the powers of Gumbo25, this should remove those reservations. A 5, like "Nebraska" was for Bruce Springsteen. And for many of the same reasons.

First off, I have to say, your sentence structure leaves a lot to be desired. Far too many sentences are extremely difficult to parse. Reading on despite the grammatical nightmares, we learn that the 'hero' is actually just a miserable piece of shit. Or, as he put it himself, he was the asshole. Ashley was apparently a career slut, with a steady supply of sex toys, lube and condoms in her night stand drawer, but the idiot lets himself believe she is totally enamored with him. Almost stopped reading early on. I guess it makes it somehow better that he ended up dead. Yet, Ashley, the vile, utterly despicable bitch, somehow gets off free, with some unknown asshat? Apparently, we're also expected to think owning a BMW makes him a big deal. Well, in the end, it's an unusual tale, told badly, of several rather unlikable characters and the reader is simply left thinking they wasted their time.

Great story,

Loved it, Awww the smell of death. I'm pretty sure however that you were talking about Multnomah Falls, 'cause there is no Shadow Falls east of PDX on I84. Great read though

No, Anon 5 hours ago: I didn't waste my time! An entirely entertaining story, well written and unique.💥💥💥💥💥

Not sure what the previous anon was reading if he found poor sentence structure and a tale told badly. This was different, refreshingly so, and I thought a good story well told. Thanks Gumbo it was very good in my book.

Lame. Thanks for the effort.

he doesn't deserve to be with carol in the after life. She should be in heaven while he is in hell.

This story had a nice different take to it.

Seems Carol was the only decent character in the story though, so that did detract from the enjoyment of reading it. And carol wasnt featured enough to fill that void.

So who was in the black limo and what happened to the girl?

I notice from the comments that the usual BTB cavemen are conspicuous by their absence, could it be that for a change the wife wasn't a slut and it was the husband cheating?

Only in LW would a story like this have such a low score. Fkn asshole readers here. 5*. I did think the ending was a bit weak. But it's what you wrote.

Too long and boring. Even the "ghostly" idea that gets exploited annually every which way isn't much suspense.

It was very good.

Morbid and terrifying.

I could feel Mark's, guilt, exhaustion and emotions.

This could be a good script for an episode in Twilight Zone or Tales from The Crypt TV show.

Nice work Gumbo25.

Nicely done.

Thanks for the effort to get it done. I don't do scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And you edged me right in there...

Nicely done, and THANK YOU!!!!

Good story!

5

This story will never be fairly rewarded, I however thought it was extremely well done.

I even learned a few new techniques while reading it. Thanks Gumbo25

😄

★★★★★

Well written, but dark like the season.

Fascinating! But what of the black BMW and Ashley? No retribution for her?

Wow, this would be a great movie. Thanks for writing1

It hurts to realize you lost the best thing on your life and it was all you to blame.

Dark and tragic. Pain and redemption, I guess no salvation for him, cuz he’s not with HIS Carol now.

4stars

Captcha

Very well done. This is an easy 5. I guess the cucks didn't like it, but they are irrelevant.

Very dark but extremely well done story. One of author's best. How is this not rated higher? Wonder what would be rating if genders were swapped and the wife died at the end and the husband was the ghost.

Check