All Comments on 'Shards Ch. 01'

This might just be the intoduction as most intros are fast paced but maybe slow it down a tiny bit otherwise great start cant wait for more

This could be used as a failsafe if the government does get to intrusive. Change the whole world. Love the story. It has a lot of open ended possibilities. Here are a few ideas for the future. Nancy could change and that would be the most likely way to blend in. Or They could both change and stage a death for Dan, move to another part of the San Fransisco valley and continue the story. With the Telepathy there is no problem with future finance if they are a little creative. But keep that within moral bounds as it would be a good thing to keep a low profile for a few years.

Slow down in what way? Pacing of time, pacing of plot, pacing of sex? This chapter is 8800 words covering the meteor crash and just the first day post-coma. Eight or ten chapters this length and I have a novel. But at 8800 words per day, I would be into the millions of words before I have Cathy give birth. So, pacing of time actually has to accelerate or I'd never finish. The pacing of sex is already slow, for an erotica story, since I could not just throw Dan/Nancy into sex with Cathy right away. That will speed up as well, although fumbling at first. As for pacing of plot, it was intentional to overwhelm Dan and Nancy with changes right away and a character decision to not have Cathy be secretive, revealing what she knows over a long time. Most of the remaining story is Dan and Nancy adjusting to sharing the same brain/body, deciding to transform and adjusting to that, too. Plus the explosion of one more secret Cathy holds but doesn't think important enough to share until too late. And whatever else I think up as I go along.

I could have worded my comment better. It was awhile ago and i tend to forget what i was talking about but i think i meant pacing as in speed the characters adapted and how quickly it seems to be going on from there. I might be a bit biased though as i like a really long story i can binge read over a couple of weeks but in the end its up to you i really enjoyed it anyway so keep writing as you want

Keeping us all on our toes, make people think and evaluate what would you do if this happened to you. I very much like it so far, please keep going, so many places it could go.

Please do continue, I would like to see where you take this.

Well, now that this is outta your head, it's now rattling around in my head. Please continue with this story. We gotta know how Nancy does knocking up Cathy, you could make that story halirous! Also take us thru the birth of the baby and Cathy's rebirth. This whole story line could be several more chapters for you. Love it 5 Stars worth!

I gave up. You zipped right past the freak-the-fuck out stage when they first woke up then it just got so technical. It’s not the balls that shoot but soft tissue and yadda yadda yadda you lost me. Too bad.

"This is a redesign, replacing the X and Y chromosomes that determine human gender now with a new chromosome I will call Z for convenience." Just so you know, I was here first. By the way, the Z Chromosome is a real thing. Google it.

@zzchromosome -- I actually did do some biology research before writing this, so I am aware of the ZZ vs ZW sex determination in birds, reptiles and even some plants, where the W makes the individual female and the male is ZZ. But, there is no Chromosome Z in humans and my fictional scheme no longer determines sex, since it produces the same hybrid anatomy in all individuals. But, if I don't call it Chromosome Z as a melding of X & Y, what *should* I call it?

As for being here first, it's true that you joined Lit (March 2018) before I published this chapter here (June), but it's most likely that I had already *written* that line by then, as I started writing Shards in 2017.

I think you're off to a great start.

Some of the best sci fi is written around life in a different setting, and you have to admit this particular setting is different, but only for the three main characters and the readers. Don't bury the readers in detailed details.

Sooner or later Dan and Nancy will explode and neither has a door to slam... Cathy might have problems adjusting to large groups of humans. There is room for humor in those scenarios. You Can Do This.

@DeLord12804:

Thanks for the comment, but the encouragement to continue is a bit weird, given that this series was finished several years ago.

good story idea off to good start mabe leave some details a little fuzzy so you dont lock in details to soon in the story line ...if the ability to modify the body with ninats is there than concepstion and sex choice or having twins or more should be easy nanits should be able to do body repair so extend life ...that and higher birth rate will lead to population problems so what is the control on fertility? self imposed choose to get PG or maybe requires some great glorius mental fusion of a orgasum (maybe with a with another sex? or something unique ...it takes a " space crystal "didado up the butt or something ? ) to have a baby ? make conception difficult so takes lots of time and try or simple because of body control ? the raising telaphatic baby challanges ...run with it going to be fun seeing where you go :) i see this was written a while ago but new to me nice thing about someones writing it can always be discovered for the first time :)

Interesting...