Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereHer eyes lit up. "A bit."
"Maybe you can join me and Mrs. Bianchi when we check out florists." The tears were coming again, and it looked like she was going to start coming towards me for another hug. "Okay, gotta go. I'll send you the details."
I walked the rest of way to the subway somehow feeling lighter in spite of the life and extra weight I was carrying within me. It wasn't until I was sitting on the train that I realized that I called her 'Mom'.
AMANDA
"Amanda, you have her phone number. She'll take your call. Why do I see you every time I turn around?"
"Because you're the key that opens the heart of our daughter. You know that. You know how she thinks and what she thinks of me. I need you and I need your help."
"You're kidding. You want me to help you ingratiate yourself with Rebecca? You want me to go to bat for you?"
"Okay, Manny, maybe we could just spend some time together. Us. You're not married, and I don't think you're seeing anyone. Maybe if we just got to know each other again you can see that helping me with Crystal would be helping her. I hate what you did, but one thing is clear, you love that girl to death. Do it for her."
He looked at her, his incredulity obvious. "Spend some time together? Are you out of your mind? Jeremy dies, so it's forgive and forget? This isn't some ridiculous romance where you go back and find your first love, the father of your daughter, and reconcile. There's no happily ever after where the two of us are anything more than our daughter's parents. Stay away from me and I'll stay away from you. Looking for a relationship with your daughter? That's on you."
REBECCA
"Ladies and gentleman, we'd like to ask the father of the bride and Rebecca to the dance floor."
The wedding planner had suggested a few songs for the father-daughter dance, and I chose Billy Joel's "Lullabye". It was a sweet, sad song about fathers and daughters and always made me a bit maudlin. Dad took my hand, and the guests parted as we made our way to the floor.
When we got to the center of the dance floor, he leaned in and spoke softly. "I didn't want you to cry."
In spite of how much we were paying for a live band, I felt an electric thrill go through me when I heard the recorded opening of a song we had danced to often when I was a child. The tears still came, but they were joyous as we danced our asses off to Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl". Dad sang along to the lyrics as tears streamed down his face.
I don't know how Dad arranged it, but we were standing in front of Marco as the song ended. My father hugged me, kissed my cheek and placed my hand in Marco's before walking off the dance floor and to Sofia. She slipped into his arms as the next song started and she looked like she belonged there.
I lay my arms over my husband's shoulders and molded my pregnant body to his as we slowly danced the night away.
"Do you remember when we used to sing
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da, la te da"
I'd like to thank the good people of the Left Foot, Right Foot Society for their assistance and support. Thanks also goes out to Stev2244 for beta-reading and to Randi for editing. Some additional writing was done post-edit, so any errors you may find are solely my responsibility.
I know a number of first responders, including some that were involved with terrorist attacks. My gratitude goes out to them and anyone else that rushes in while others are rushing out.
Looking for another story to read? I'd recommend "The Death of a Cuckold". It's a well written, poignant story about the love of a parent.
Click HERE
No decent and complete game being to nicely finish off the story - again!!!!!!
Obviously your writing style.
We give up and moving on - permanently……..
The ending seemed abrupt.A bit rushed maybe.I think this story had more to offer.No mention for example of the details of who his ex wife married and Marco family and business.
Was there a point to this story? The back and forth usually doesn’t bother me in story, but this was ridiculous. The story just…ends. There’s no resolution. No big drama or meltdown? The kidnapping was intense in the beginning, but barely seemed to matter in the end?!
Honestly, I have read tens of thousands of Novels, article, etc, etc,,, being an Editor, just part of the job. Some of the Authors audience apparently does not know how to read a story and has not read enough to recognize and ending from the beginning or words and meanings in between! Apparent by the comments. Thank you Bebop for a beautiful but short Love Story! 5 BIG FAT AND SHINY STARS!
To be honest I don't know what I am reading. The to and fro make it very difficult to understand. Sorry about that and I personally think it worth only 3 🌟🔯🌟🔯🌟.
I legit have no idea what this story is supposed to be about. It started as a story about a father kidnapping his daughter from her mother was attempting to do so first. Interesting premise, let's see where it goes... Oh, it doesn't go anywhere, we just aren't going to deal with it at all until she's an adult? Weird but what else you got. Oh, her dad must have working in intelligence since he thought he could have stopped 9/11 attacks from occurring, okay maybe now we'll get some background on him and develop him as a character.... Oh, we aren't going to do that either, she just wants to be a cop now? Super boring boilerplate love arc for the daughter with accompanying (single) bland sex scene. Oh, she's meeting her mother, maybe now we'll pay off that setup and.... wtf nothing? The only conflict in this story is between the reader hoping the story will lead somewhere and develop either a theme, a plot, or even a single character; and the story that stubbornly refuses to do so. It's literally a minefield of unfired Chekhov's guns in here. Not to mention that we never even hear the mother's side of the story.
FTDS hits the nail on the head. Boom, and its over. It would be nice if the story were at all finished, but this comes out of the oven mostly raw. Underdeveloped characters aren't a fatal flaw, and a bit too common here on Lit (plainly a more difficult proposition than stylistic or grammatical errors to remedy via non-professional editing), but there's just no backstory to get us to understand Amanda or Manny -- or Marco, even. Bebop3 writes well, and what he gives us usually is better than this. I'm sure I'm not alone in welcoming a major revision and expansion to flesh things out. But maybe that's just my view. 5* for the idea, sure, but only 4* for the execution.
Your work is appreciated. After reading the Montauk stories my thought is, you are a certifiable fucking genius. Enjoyed the hell out of this one too.