by Thucydides
The plot is middling and it lacks a demonstrable emotional connection between two people who're so in love that they decide to get married.
Guess ex-servicemen are rating this story high as wish fulfillment.
Hi Peoples! To the author Thucydides my compliments for a great story! It's not bad I enjoyed it. Pleeeeeeeeze publish more here? Anyway thanks! Love you all! Bye. Greg. Oh 10 stars = 100 % of enjoyment. Bye.
victoria is niceā¦but downtown vancouver is better :P
although i do have to admit that victoria has a much more interesting culture than the chinese infested vancouver (myself included)
Just a fairy tail romance in my favorites and I am hoping that you will write a follow up story on the village idot as Jill so lovingly called Ben. Something about Jill and Bens on going life.
Ron
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
This is the first time I've read this story, but now that it's in my favorite's list, it most certainly won't be the last. Great job and I can't wait to read more of your work.
MoogPlayer
i have read it many times and it just seems to get better each time. Just a true love story about a beautiful brilliant woman and a really nice guy and everything just fell into place for them. I would like to read more about Jill and Ben so if you have written some type of follow up story it would please me if you would give me the name and if not possibly you will write one.
Ron. Texas
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
Well worth the time to read.
Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Brujay
I have read this story more than 3times and its still one of my favorite.great work.5 stars everytime.
This is the second time I have read this very nice story.
I just reread this gem, for who knows what time, and it still reads as well as it did the very first time I read it. The author has managed to hit darn near every romance button known to man dead on without coming across as just another tired retread of an all too familiar theme. You simply can't go wrong with this one. My only complaint is that they did not have children at the end of the story, but that is a personal observation and has little to do with the perfection of the story in and of itself.
See good guys do get the girl(with a push here and there from her). Great love story it is in my favorites and gets 5 plus stars.
What would be really good would to be able to read a follow up story on Jill and Ben.
Thank you for the great love story.
Ron. Texas
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
I love this boy meets girl story, i love the way it is written.
Predictable, typical Romeo and Juliette, and lovely. A very nice version of boy meets girl. Thank You. Time to go squeeze my Juliette!
I just finished re-reading this story; I've lost track of how many times, now. It's still one of the very best I've ever read. Whatever you're doing, stop right now and write some more stories that are just as good as this one!
A SMART BEAUTIFUL WOMAN THAT JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS AND SHE JUST SO HAPPENS TO MEET HER KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. IT IS IN MY FAVORITES AND I ENJOY IT EVEN MORE EACH TIME I READ IT.
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WRITING A SEQUEL ABOUT THEM?
RON TEXAS cowboyridecc@yahoo.com
It sounds as if he should give up being an expert witness in that State. It really would be a problem. What would have happened if they all ready tied the knot. Another delightful read.
such a great love story about two people that meet by accident. Jill and Ben the story about two that fall in love and as Jill said she must have married the village idiot( she left her phone in his truck so he would have to call her) a great line at the end of the story. 5 stars plus for sure. I do hope that you write something more about the loving couple. not my first or last time to read this.
Ron
This story is like an apple - crisp, juicy and delightfully sweet, but with slightest tang to enhance that sweetness. Likeable characters and fast paced left me searching for a sequel. Nicely done.
I love these characters, and this story. My favorites are the two Elk stories, but they barely edged out this lovely tale. Please write more chapters of all your beautiful works! Thank you.
This was a great story; I have read it twice, and like it better every time I read it. I also noted that it was stolen by the plagiarist referred to in another comment, and I went to that website and reported it, as well. Hopefully the owners of the other site will take notice and remove it. It is nice that people admire your writing enough to wish it was theirs, but there is no excuse for outright theft like that.
Thucydides, you are a gifted writer. You are one of the few writers I read everything they had posted here. I wish you had more stories to read through.
Your story was stolen by this plagiarist too. I am trying to message everyone I can determine to be affected by her theft. I already sent a takedown notice of my story to the site, but the more the better. http://stories.xnxx.com/profile1022405/xmistiex
An absolutely lovely and engaging story. Every hopeless romantic is sure to fall in love with it as much as I did. I am so looking forward to reading more of your work.
Most women are sneaks and connivers as in this story she openly confesses her manipulation. As a father of two daughters, I can attest to the social charms and shananigans that women can dish out to overwhelm a poor unsuspecting man. Lol. Very well written moving feel good story. It just shook my foundations and erupted me into a severe case of melancholia. It was sweet and nice. Thank you for your effort; Of course five stars!
Much fond reminiscing in this one. Especially the absences.
Actually it's a wake up call for my sweet lady and I.
Thanks for a great, well crafted story.
I had a great time reading this story. It reminds me of my wife and our courtship. Thanks!
Many decades ago, when I was working on an undergraduate degree in History, my main area of concentration was Hellenistic Civilization. Anyone who would adopt for his "pen name" that of the most prominent historian of that period, can not help but find favor with this old soul. Thanks for sharing an outstanding talent with all of us who do sincerely appreciate your work.
what a great story of their unfolding love for each other and so full of humour....also no over the top sex descriptions just gentle love making and loved the last bit when she admitted she left the cell phone on purpose....that floored him....just a brilliant love story....
Amazing! I want that kind of love, humor, and companionship! What an inspirational and beautiful story, well told!
I read the story and rated it 5 star. Although it did not matter much to the story as it was a topper.
I really enjoy your writing and your stories. I too live in the NW and know most of the places you reference. I'll make you a deal. You keep writing and I'll keep reading. Thanks
I already noted the Oregon Beach stories were in my back yard. I am also a Civil Engineer and helped my friend (pro nobo) defend himself against people who bought the pole home he built and lived in before building on a lot a block south near Jump Off Joe (Newport). The home "moved in the wind"''' (duh!). They tried to use that so they would get the home for free. I have worked with State Water Resources several times over the years in my capacity as a consultant. Lynn
Excellent plot and character development. You have a unique gift of making your characters real people. One doesn't have to suspend his disbelief to enjoy your writing. Thank you, sir!
Yeah. I did rewrite it- I have this bad habit of thinking I'm done, posting something, and then rewriting in response to the comments. Honestly, this version is a lot better than the original posting- and I have to think my ratings would be better if not for that. Anyway, I hope people enjoy it.
After reading the comments I went back and re-read the sailing part. Later posts make me think that it had been edited. The fact remains, IMHO, that unless the protagonist was so much into sailing that he couldn't possibly be the guy in your story, he would have more on his mind than thinking about which bit of rigging was called what. This story was good writing - and I loved it!
Wonderful (too) short story.
So good I re-read it the next evening.
Thanks.
I enjoyed it even more the second time around. You did a great job fleshing things out a bit more. Thanks for the feedback email to let me know... I'd never have realized since the submission date didn't change. I just hate that I can't vote again. I'd give you a 5 this time instead of the 4 from the original version.
I've read all three (or five if you count that way) of your stories and enjoyed all of them. I like how you show the characters feeling attracted to each other quickly and still spend time getting to a happy ending.
I mostly like the balance between story development and sex scenes. I liked the slightly greater explicitness of this one, and I'd be happy to have a little more in your next one.
I was confused about the resolution of the case. I thought that Ed's clients won, but then Jill's co-workers took her out to celebrate winning what sounded like the same case.
I'm obviously not a sailor and should have done more research on the technicalities. If I ever get around to rewriting this I'll fix it.
In my Oregon trilogy a lot happens at weddings, and I wanted to get away from that. You're right that it was a pretty abrupt jump. I'll try to meet in the middle next time.
I once saw a friend do the "forget her bikini's untied and jump up" thing and thought the combination of that and getting knocked over by the boom made for some pretty good slapstick. I liked how that part turned out.
Thanks for taking the time to respond. It's really encouraging to be told when people like my stuff.
and I'm not up as late as I feared. That is a two edged sword. I like that I am going to bed at a reasonable time for a work day. However, I really did not like the sudden skip to a year later. :-( I liked the couple and wanted to read more.
I particularly like the comments explaining the court cases. The details help and since the closest I've been to a lawyer besides my divorce attorney was my stint as a file clerk in the law library in college, I really appreciate understanding the plausible details.
I also enjoyed the slight chastising on the sailing terminology. :-) And of course, the image of the boom coming across and taking him out is priceless.
One small point and maybe I just missed it...but, you mentioned she had no knowledge of sailing. Would she have reflexively cleated the main sheet when she pulled her guy back on board? If she didn't..which I think more plausible for a non-sailor then the sailboat would have rounded itself into the wind and just bobbed nicely with the main sheet flapping. Unless, possibly a jib sheet would be strong enough to keep pulling the boat....or a current (not likely in a cove).
I love that he built the boat. Your heroes are wonderful, strong men...salt of the earth as my great grandma would have said. I adore that your women are strong but also feminine. Very nice combination to read. Keep writing and submitting, please.
I did wonder about how she won the case, but the details weren't key to enjoying the story.
Frankly, I'd have liked it better if the foreplay went on longer, and the intercourse didn't happen so fast.
I would generally agree with estragon. I didn't think through all the details of the case as it wasn't critical to the plot and I didn't want to get sidetracked into a big explanation. Estragon's right that the State will always get dragged into a case like that if for no other reason than that they can pay a judgment. Being a lawyer IRL I was really trying to stay out of technicalities and maybe I went to far.
Just a guess, but Ed, representing the flooded farmers, sued the State as an additional defendant, probably alleging negligent oversight, or improper approval of the plans for the dam, or negligent issuance of the dam permit, or some environmental laws, as well as the owners of the dam and everyone else he could think of. That's SOP; when lying in the dust at home plate, tag the runner, the batter, the umpire and yourself. That way you got everybody.
Jill got the case against the State thrown out, using Ben's deposition and her own experts', although that's unusual, but if she could do that she's plenty good. So Jill won.
Now Ben's deposition, while it might have gotten the State off, didn't help the dam's owners; au contraire, it buried them. So Ed won. Whether or not Ben had to testify on the trial, I don't know. I have a son-in-law who has a Ph.D. in engineering and does a lot of forensic evaluations; his view is that if he has to testify on a trial, the client lost, because the experts should have let the parties know when to settle.
As for using "rope" instead of "sheet", "line", "cable" or "halyard", as the case might have been, I confess I missed that. Which goes to show how good the story is.
I enjoyed your story. Please keep writing.
Some nits:
Which side won the court case? Although not important in the story, they both acted like they won and were on opposite sides.
I cringed when you called a line on a sailboat "a rope."
Wonderful characters, and who could go wrong with sailing, law, sex, and Roederer (even California Roederer)! Thu, it's a total winner! Quibbles will follow via "Send Feedback", only because this is a beautiful story. It's up to Sydney Blake quality, and that says it all.
A story of love and opportunity and chance. With some erotica but without the overrunning of sexual exploits. Quality work, proofed very well. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
I really enjoyed this story and just wish there was more to it because it was so good.
An excellent story about people you want to like. Well done, keep it up!