All Comments on 'Sharin' a Room with Sharon'

Don't leave us hanging in mid stroke PLEASE. I really need to cum in this hot pussy.

You can't leave it like this, keep going

Nice story, but why did you capitalize "my" so frequently when it appeared in the middle of a sentence? It is improper and it was very distracting.

was not there.

Therefore "I" did NOT take part.

Therefore your 'story' is a load of squit!!

1*

The story itself is okay but you keep jumping from speaking to her to speaking about her and back. I think you would benefit from an editor.

Be specofic with the pronouns

Writing in second person is just plain awkward. Did the other person not know what happened to them?

Writing in 2nd person is just dumb.

Impossible to read. I gave up after half a page. Super awkward.

The comments seem to be pretty negative here.

I had the impression that it was written in the first person singular.

I; you; he, she, it etc ???

It seems to be a feature of these stories that the characters' anxieties are expressed. I guess that's a way of embedding "disclaimers" within the story. Fair enough.

As an example of where "horse play" can go ... yup. Point, though, and again a seeming feature of these stories is that the characters seem to care about each other. And as this story shows, said characters have had plenty of time to care about each other - years, in fact. And with that caring seems to come a strong rapport.

As to the risky naivete of the situations, well, that's covered too. In this case, the bell went.

It was a decent story. The ending was a bit odd and abrupt. Nice work.