All Comments on 'Sharon's Ranch'

by JonahanSweat

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  • 2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Not a bad first effort

The sex scenes are good - if a little clinical.

But there's no story and no dialogue. When you get more experience I'd like to see you revisit this story. Why is Jay visiting a brothel? What is Amy's story? What happened after that weekend.

You have the the bones of a good story here. But at the moment, that's all there is, bones.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

silly...

Anonymous
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