Shawn and Kendall Ch. 16

"Marcey, please!" Grace wept.

"No," she backed away, shaking her head, "what you did was not okay. I think you need to consider talking to someone."

Grace stared at her in shock, never having been treated like such a crazy person. The sight of Marcey nervously backing away assaulted her on a deeper, more vulnerable level. Grace was forced to come to terms with the depth of her actions and the harm they caused as Marcey turned around and left. She continued crying in her bed until she heard her apartment door shut. Maybe she did need psychological help after her unhinged behavior. Grace spiraled into a mess that night, wondering how she could fix things with her friends. It felt like a gaping hole had been opened in her chest. Kendall and Marcey meant everything to her, and she wasn't ready to lose them both over her toxic behavior.

Shawn stayed in his room the rest of the evening, blasting through games with his buddies. For once, it did not bother him that Kendall hadn't messaged or checked on him since she got home. He knew it would only create suspicion if either of their parents saw her in his room. Kendall did her best to stay busy and find activities away from him, trying not to stress over her earlier incident with their mom or that she got sick. Grace and Bradley potentially being in league against them was bad enough, and she did not want to introduce the worry of pregnancy into their situation. Her period had been late before, and she let her mind believe the stress made her nauseous.

A knock on the door caused Shawn's head to turn from his game, and his mom peeked in.

"Hope you're hungry," she said, "there's a ton of pasta down here."

"Ooooh," Shawn sang, pulling his headphones off, "what'd you guys make? It smells good."

"Spicy vodka tortellini stuffed into a garlic parmesan bread boat," she answered proudly with a smile.

"Okay, yup," Shawn immediately stood from his chair, "I'm gonna need a plate of that like right now."

His mom laughed, opening the door so he could follow her downstairs. When they passed Kendall's room, Shawn casually peeked in, stopping in his tracks when he saw her.

"Ah, forgot my phone," he mumbled, cleverly walking back to his room.

His mom looked back at him for a moment before disappearing downstairs again. Shawn waited momentarily and peeked out of his room to ensure she was not still there, then snuck toward Kendall's room. She was on her laptop with her earphones in when he looked in, unaware of him. Kendall felt his steps as he approached her bed, pulled her earphones out, and looked up at him. She nervously looked past him to make sure nobody would see him in her room as she closed her laptop.

"Come on," he chirped with his hand out, "let's go destroy pasta."

"Um..." Kendall looked at his hand, still nauseous, "I'm actually not hungry."

"Huh?" Shawn made a concerned face, retracting his hand, "the anomaly suddenly obeys physics?"

Shawn often referred to Kendall as "the anomaly" because of her ability to inhale carbs and whatever else she wanted without gaining weight. Kendall could eat almost as much as Shawn, but she never dieted or watched what she ate and was perfectly healthy and fit because she loved exercising. Her preferred foods were greens, root vegetables, fresh fruit, and rice bowls, but she had a crippling weakness for pasta and could eat it every night of the week. It surprised Shawn that she wasn't all over dinner that night.

"Is everything okay?" Shawn asked, checking behind him to make sure they were still alone.

"I'll tell you later," she mumbled, putting her earphones back in and partially opening her laptop, "you should go eat. Don't wait up for me."

"Hm, alright," Shawn shrugged, wondering what was on her mind.

He gently reached forward, delicately rubbing her shoulder in his grip. Kendall rested her hand over his, smiling warmly at him. He then leaned forward and gave her a peck on the forehead before leaving. Forehead kisses gave Kendall butterflies, and she loved that Shawn was the type who enjoyed small forms of affection. She watched him go, smirking over how much she loved him and his attentiveness. Then, her attention returned to the rigorous pregnancy research she had been sucked into. She consulted the internet relentlessly, searching for data to confirm that Shawn wouldn't have been able to get her pregnant this quickly, but nothing said it was impossible. They were only into their second week of having sex, and she was taking birth control precisely as directed. But her nauseous episode scared her beyond belief, and Kendall knew that indicators of pregnancy varied astronomically by individual. All she could do was read general pregnancy timelines and their vast array of indications, hoping her body reflected them.

"Is your sister coming down?" Jonathan asked Shawn from the table as he came around the corner into the kitchen.

"Huh? Ionno," Shawn shrugged with his best acting, grabbing a plate to dig in.

The food smelled heavenly, and he was excited to crush it. But his mind couldn't help but ponder why Kendall didn't have an appetite, wondering what she needed to talk to him about as he shoveled the steaming-hot pasta onto his plate.

"Let me just get it out there that I have zero reservations about you knocking out the dishes this time," Avery said, joining them at the table.

"Sure, Mom," Shawn chuckled.

"Oh, I'm kidding," she grinned, "but I wouldn't turn you away if you decided to help."

"I wash, you dry?" Shawn asked, taking his first bite.

"Shoot, I won't say no to that," his mom grinned, loading her plate up.

Jonathan suddenly pushed his chair out and stood from the table, causing them both to look at him.

"What are you missing? Something to drink?" Avery asked, "I'll get it, Honey."

"I'm fine," he responded, "I'm just going to run a plate up to her."

"Alright," she responded, proceeding to dig in.

Their dad made a small plate for Kendall, topped it with freshly grated chees, grabbed a fork, and headed toward her room, assuming she wouldn't eat much if she wasn't joining them. Shawn stealthily watched him leave, trying not to be too obvious as he ate. As Jonathan ascended the steps, he thought about what might cause Kendall to miss out on something as important to her as pasta. It didn't seem right. Once he reached her room, he lightly knocked on the doorway with his knuckle, seeing her absorbed by her laptop. When Kendall looked up and saw him holding the plate, she pulled her earphones out and closed the lid, not wanting him to see what she was doing.

"Hey, Dad!" She greeted him, eyeballing the pasta, "um, I'm not really hungry."

"Kendall, you gotta eat," he softly responded, approaching her bed.

She watched him as he sat beside her, sliding the plate near her.

"Thanks..." She mumbled, glad that her family cared about her as much as they did.

"Everything alright?" He quietly asked, folding his hands in his lap and looking her over, "it's not like you to miss out on pasta."

"Uh..." Kendall sighed, setting her laptop aside so she could sit up and face him, "yeah, I guess."

"You guess?" Her dad raised his eyebrow, "that doesn't sound great."

Kendall looked away, pondering how she could communicate with him without giving too much away. In her heart, she desperately wanted his advice on what to do about their situation, but he would never understand.

"Does it have anything to do with this new boyfriend of yours?" He gently asked, being mindful of her boundaries.

Kendall looked into his eyes, wondering if she could use 'Jake' to communicate her worries, but even that seemed too risky.

"Sort of..." She mumbled hesitantly.

"What's going on?" Jonathan asked.

"Dad, what if..." Kendall's eyes wandered away, "what if you know someone is special, but it would upset a lot of people if you were together?"

Her dad gave her a puzzled look, wondering what Kendall saw in her new boyfriend to feel this way.

"What about it is so upsetting?" He calmly responded.

Kendall felt herself choking up as she looked into his eyes, wishing there was a way to just tell him about Shawn. It would solve all of their problems but simultaneously cost them everything. Her mouth nearly opened on its own as her heart begged her to come forward with the truth.

"Hmm..." Jonathan hummed before she could answer, "actually, you don't need to answer that. It won't change my advice."

"Really?" Kendall asked, listening closely.

"Kendall," he continued, "you're an outstanding person. You know that?"

A tiny smirk formed on her face as she listened to him.

"You've got such a big heart, constantly worrying about how everyone else feels. I swear you get it from your mom," he smiled warmly.

"This morning, she told me I got her butt, too, apparently," Kendall snickered.

"That sounds like something she'd say," he joked back.

Kendall giggled as she looked down at the bed, realizing she took many traits from her mom but rarely appreciated them.

"Look," he gently touched her shoulder, "I know it's hard for you to put yourself before others. You've always struggled with that. But if you're sure about this person, you gotta hold onto them and not let what everyone else thinks ruin that. When you know, you know. Your mom and I sure did."

Kendall's eyes glistened as she listened to him, knowing his advice would not apply to Shawn. It tore her apart that her dad desperately wanted to tell her what she needed to hear while she remained unable to tell him the truth. She knew he only wanted to help her, but it would be the end if he ever learned of their relationship. Their dad would never accept such a betrayal, and it silently destroyed her, listening to him tell her how wonderful he thought she was, knowing what their secret would do to him.

"Well," he said, releasing her shoulder, "no pressure, but even if you don't eat, we'd still like you with us. Maybe come down and see us when you're ready?"

Kendall nodded, chewing her lip and trying not to cry.

"Alright," he nodded and left her room.

"When you know, you know," her dad's voice echoed in her head.

"Sure, Dad..." Kendall sighed distraughtly, shaking her head, "except for the part where he's my fucking brother."

But perhaps there was more truth to his advice than she thought. She could never expect anyone to understand her love for Shawn, but that didn't change the lesson. Maybe it was time to start embracing the reality that she had chosen him, and he was worth losing everything.

Kendall eyeballed the plate of pasta on her bed, finally deciding to go join them downstairs. She took the plate with her, and when she appeared around the corner, both of their parents cheered at the sight of her. She sat beside Shawn, smirking at their reaction and trying to hide her smile.

"See? I told ya," Shawn snarked, "humans can't live without oxygen, and Kendall can't live without pasta."

She gave him a grumpy look, taking her first bite. Jonathan and Avery laughed at his truthful remark.

"Better pasta than video games..." Kendall grumbled with her mouth full.

"Ooookay," their mom interjected, "this is a dinner table, not a battleground."

As their family dinner continued, Shawn suddenly gave Kendall a surprised look, his eyes wandering down to see her pinky locked with his out of sight. She gave him a quick, playful smirk when his eyes returned to her. Shawn couldn't help but slightly smile, tightening his pinky around hers under the table. "Loud and clear," he thought to himself as their parents yammered on, glad to have her the way he always dreamt of. When you know, you know. And Kendall was ready to hold onto the person she loved, unwilling to let anyone around them ruin what they had.

Shawn and Kendall knocked out the dishes together once everyone finished. They minded their behavior, making sure not to get too close or appear flirtatious. Their parents retreated to the living room, watching movies while they washed and dried everything, giving them a moment to themselves. Kendall casually looked behind them to ensure they were alone before setting the final plate back into the cabinet.

"Hey," she approached Shawn, standing closely.

He looked over his shoulder to check for their parents, not wanting them to see her so close to him as he dried his hands.

"Hey," he answered, looking her over, wishing he could touch her.

"How tired are you?" She quietly asked.

"Not very," he answered, "what's up?"

Kendall stepped even closer, playfully tugging on his shirt near his waist.

"Wanna go watch movies in the basement when they fall asleep?" She asked with a mischievous smirk, their bodies nearly touching.

"You know damn well I'm not gonna pay attention to anything on that TV," Shawn answered, scaling her with delight.

"Good," Kendall flicked her brow up with a seductive smile, "and..." She turned to make sure they were still alone, "you can let me take care of everything since you did all the work last night."

"Hallelujah..." Shawn mumbled excitedly, grabbing one of her hips.

Kendall's smile grew as she fought the urge to taste his lips, her eyes repeatedly glancing at them. But she knew they had to follow the rules.

"Hey," she giggled, brushing his hand off of her and peering toward the living room.

Shawn groaned, hating that they weren't allowed to touch each other with their parents nearby.

"Do you have an idea how hard it is to keep my hands off you?" Shawn quietly asked with an attitude.

"More than you can possibly imagine..." Kendall mumbled, desperately wanting his touch.

"I will never forgive the universe for making the hottest girl on the planet my sister," Shawn shook his head, walking toward the living room to join their parents.

Kendall chewed her lip, looking him up and down as he walked away. How difficult it was to stay focused and not touch him blew her mind. It was as if her very fibers yearned for him, almost taking control of her body. She knew in her heart that they could never hope to return to the way they were. The forbidden rush of committing the greatest taboo had claimed her, and she knew the rest of her life had now become a game of resisting her lust for him in the face of others. Kendall's nerves jittered with anticipation for their night in the basement as she returned to her room. She brushed her teeth and took a quick shower, wanting to be as fresh as possible, knowing she wouldn't be able to hold back once they were alone. Her hand nervously rubbed past her gut as she looked in the mirror, trying to dismiss the paranoia.

"Just because I want it doesn't mean I was asking for it," she huffed stressfully at herself in the mirror, praying she hadn't manifested her secret desire to be impregnated by her brother.

Kendall thought about what Shawn told her the night before, saying he wasn't ready to be a dad yet. She had secretly fantasized about them having a child together and the joy it would bring her, but understood that it could never happen. It's one thing to hide a relationship and another to hide a baby. Kendall also wanted to avoid putting Shawn in a position he was unprepared for. If he wasn't ready, she was prepared to respect that. But despite everything, her heart couldn't help but create dreams of a life away from everyone where they had a beautiful baby girl, free to love each other with their entire beings. Kendall suddenly closed her eyes, shaking her head and dismissing her chimeric visions. When she returned to the real world, her eyes reflected on who she had become in the mirror. Her infatuation with Shawn had taken hold of her with no intention of ceasing. What would happen to them at this rate?

Her phone suddenly buzzed on the counter, and she saw Marcey's name. Sighing through her nose, she debated ignoring it. But Marcey had done nothing wrong, and Kendall did not want to mistreat her just because of the drama with Grace.

"Hey, Marce," Kendall answered, leaving her bathroom.

"Hey yourself," Marcey answered, "you got a minute?"

"Sure," Kendall responded, not particularly interested in talking, "what's up?"

"You gonna let me in?" Marcey asked.

Kendall's eyes wandered to her window, and she saw Marcey waving outside on her phone. She opened it, looking past Marcey to make sure Grace wasn't with her.

"Are you alone?" Kendall asked, concerned.

"Yes, it's just me," Marcey brushed her off, climbing inside, "I figured you wouldn't want me to bring her."

"So you're aware of everything," Kendall crossed her arms.

"Mhm," Marcey mumbled, walking to Kendall's bed and sitting.

Kendall stood in front of her, wondering how Marcey felt about Grace's witch hunt against them. Marcey kicked her running shoes off and sprawled out on Kendall's bed with a yawn. Even fully stretched, she hardly covered half of the bed because of how petite she was. She wore tights with jean shorts over them and a crop top sweater that was too short. When she lifted her arms to stretch, Kendall could almost see her nipples. Marcey was feisty like Grace but twice as empathetic and half her size. She loved Kendall to death and had been friends with her even longer than Grace. Marcey and Kendall met in middle school, and Grace didn't join them until later in high school. But during their first few years of friendship, Marcey and Kendall formed a bond that created an honest, loving foundation between them. Regardless of the situation, she would never act maliciously against Kendall, so she felt the need to see her and discover the truth her own way.

"God, your room is so much cleaner than hers," Marcey sighed with bliss.

"What'd you come here for?" Kendall asked with an attitude, wondering if Marcey had also been poisoned against her, "to see if our stories match up?"

"Nope," she calmly answered, "she told me what she did."

Kendall relaxed her arms, making a confused face.

"She did?"

"Uh-huh," Marcey responded, raising her head to look at Kendall, "I was just at her place earlier. She told me everything."

Kendall looked around, puzzled but unwilling to change her mind.

"Okay, well..." She mumbled, firming back up, "this doesn't change anything. I hope she knows that."

"She does. She's just upset about it," Marcey sat up and wiggled her pierced nose, staring at Kendall.

"Yeah, well, she should've thought about that before-"

"Is it true?" Marcey interrupted her with a curious face, "about you and your brother?"

Kendall stared into her eyes, afraid to respond. She didn't know if Marcey had been put up to this by Grace. Her eyes sank to the floor, struggling to figure out what to say. She chewed her lip with a stressful expression, not realizing how guilty she looked. Marcey was the one person on earth she could tell if anyone, and she desperately needed to confide in someone. Her nerves jittered, struggling to weigh the risks and consequences of telling her.

"Oh, shit! You are!" Marcey snickered with a grin before Kendall could collect her thoughts.

Kendall's eyes shot back up at her, causing her to become flustered.

"No, no, no, stop! I- um..." She stuttered, stepping toward Marcey with her hands up.

Marcey stared at her, jaw to the floor, lit up with intrigue. She seemed almost thrilled to watch her give herself up. Kendall finally covered her face with her hands and a loud groan. She flopped hard onto the bed next to Marcey, holding her face.

"I am..." Kendall mumbled into her hands, muffling her voice.

"What was that?" Marcey smiled, leaning into Kendall with her shoulder and raising her brow, "I didn't catch it."

Kendall lowered her hands, sighing stressfully, refusing to look at her.

"I'm having sex with my brother..." Kendall deflated, finally admitting their secret.

Marcey cackled with her mouth gaping, unable to believe Grace was right the whole time.