She Can Do No Wrong

This is a story about love. A love that leads to sorrow. It's a real-life story about a man that gives everything he has, until he can give no more. This is my entry into the When A Man Loves a Woman event. I want to thank Randi for inviting me to participate. I am honored to be included with these other fine authors.

Ben's last thoughts

It must be something I did? Or didn't do? I'm sure she has a good reason. Why couldn't I be better to her? A better husband? A better father? It must be me. She could never hurt anyone.

Ben

Growing up in a small Midwestern town was a pretty ideal life for most people around me, everyone but me, of course. It's not that I didn't come from a good home. I did. I really did. It was me. I'm Ben Davies by the way. I lived with my mom and dad, and my little sister, Amy. The town we lived in, like I said, was really nice. Nice people, good schools, everyone worked hard and got along. My mom worked at the local hardware store and my dad was a machinist at a tool and dye shop. They provided all the material things we needed with plenty of family and friends nearby. So, why was I the only one not able to enjoy this great life right outside my door. Because I lived in my own world most of the time.

in my early years, I was mostly unresponsive to others. I was very quiet and lacked language skills. I didn't know how to socialize, didn't know how to communicate, or relate to others. As I got a little older, my behavior was very unpredictable. Also, my sleep patterns were odd. I didn't have what they now call a "working clock". You see, years later, doctors diagnosed me as autistic. But in the 1970s when I was a kid, especially in our small town, no one knew about such things. Amazingly, I had something going for me that other kids, like me, probably didn't. I had a

family Support system like no other. My parents, as I already said, we're not doctors or psychiatrists, but they had an innate sense of how to help me. They were very patient with me as they took their time and worked with me every night without fail. They talked to me about my hidden feelings, how to communicate better, and how to control certain urges. My sister, Amy, was 18 months younger than me and they held me back a year so we would be in the same class.

She would make sure I was at the correct classroom, had the right book ready, and was seated in a position that I could comprehend at least what I was able. Amy is very smart. She would go over the entire day with me each evening to help me get through school. She's very pretty and popular. Because of that, she talked to the other kids and kept the bullies, both boys and girls, away from me for the most part. Without Amy, along with my mom and dad, I probably could never have made it through school. And after school, I could never have functioned on my own.

Amy

Some of my friends don't understand why I spend so much of my time taking care of my brother Ben. I'll tell you why. My brother is simply the most wonderful person I have ever known. He is the kindest and most loving person ever. He has never been mean to me, or anyone else, ever. He has never said a bad word about anyone. My parents told me years ago that Ben was going to need me. They told me to treat it as an honor because Ben's such a good person. Ben has a very hard time expressing any emotion because of his autism. But once in a while, maybe only once a year, he will give me a long hug. That's the only way he can express his gratitude.

And his love for me. Each time he does it, I cry for hours. I know how hard it is for him, and I thank God that I know such a beautiful person.

There are some things about my brother that he just doesn't understand. First of all, he's a very handsome guy. At about 6 feet and a lean 165 pounds, he looks a lot like my father, who also is a good-looking man. Second, he's pretty high functioning now. He could live on his own, but he would probably need help with bills, shopping, and a few other things.

Ben

After I graduated from high school, my uncle got me a job as a fire fighter. He worked there for over 30 years so he had a lot of influence. It took me almost a year to become certified. Surprisingly, the physical test I did pretty well in. It was the examinations that were very difficult for me. I could learn the material but sitting down in a timed test situation was really strenuous. In high school, my teachers would let me take separate test than my classmates or just give me unlimited time.

After I start at the job, I would make a list of things that had to be done every day. My mind works better that way. I would just follow my list of instructions each day and I worked harder than anyone at keeping the trucks clean, making sure all the equipment was in perfect working order and I cleaned the station every day. All the other firefighters were nice to me, but I would never have much to say to anyone. I think they like me because I always pulled more than my

share. I would work extra shifts each week if they had things to do with their families. I averaged about 60 hours per week. I never minded. They had families with children and I had no one. 60 hours per week may sound hard, but I loved my job and I was making a lot of money. The funny thing is I never spend hardly any of it. I did buy a used car and eventually moved out of my parents' home into a small apartment. My mother helped me furnish all four rooms. And my little sister would come by every week to help me pay bills and do a little grocery shopping or buy some clothes, shoes, or anything else she thought I needed. After five years I had over $250,000 in my investment account.

I was at my little sister's house for a Sunday barbecue when my life changed forever. I was sitting by myself, off to the side of her backyard, when the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, came over to talk to me. She just walked right up to me and started talking." So, you must be Amy's brother, Ben! I have heard so much about you from your little sister. I'm the receptionist where we work together. My name is Toni, Toni Adams. I'm sorry to be so forward, but your sister said you were kind of shy and didn't like to talk too much."

Well, it was my time to talk and I have never been in this situation before. Sure, I had talked to some of my sister 's friends, a little bit, but never with a strange girl that showed an interest in me and she was wonderful!

"Oh, I'm glad you came to talk to me and I am pretty quiet. Would you like to get some food with me and we can spend some time together?"

Wow, I can't believe that I got a few sentences out. After that, I let her talk. And she really like to talk. I hardly had to say anything. She told me all about her life and family and friends, just about everything. Did I say how wonderful she was? She was perfect. Besides my family, no one had ever made me feel that good before. She was beautiful, and fun, and nice, and she seemed to really like me.

Amy

I was so glad I invited Toni to the barbecue. She was a girl new in the office where I worked. Plain looking, maybe 30- or 40-pounds overweight, but really talkative. I thought she may be perfect for my brother. And boy was I right. Ben didn't need to talk at all. I could tell he was smitten as soon as they met. I explained to Toni about my brother's issues, I just hope she will be good to him.

Toni

This guy is great. He's nice, good looking, has a good job and I can tell he's attracted to me. I've never really had a boyfriend before. Sure, I've gone out on dates. Even let a few guys have their way with me, because I wanted to learn what sex was all about. But never have I had a good-looking guy act nice to me and show me so much attention. This is like a dream come true. I am not going to let Ben get away. This is my chance to have a home and a family I've always wanted.

Ben

Life has been so good for me! One year after I met Toni we were married. It was a small wedding and I had my dad as my best man. I never really made any good friends in my life; I just never knew how to do that. I did invite the people I work with at the fire house. They all came. I think they had a good time. Toni invited a lot of friends and family. She is so wonderful and beautiful. I'm not sure why she likes me so much but I try to do everything I can for her and I always try to make her happy.

Before the wedding I bought a nice three-bedroom house that she picked out. It's in a nice neighborhood. Toni wanted extra bedrooms for when we have children. I hope the kids are like her and not like me.

Amy

Never would I have thought that inviting Toni to that party would see her 25 years later, still married to my brother with two children. She does seem to call all the shots in their family and I wish sometimes she would be a little more sympathetic to Ben's needs and desires. But Ben always seems so happy. He still feels the world begins and ends with Toni. As long as he's happy, I shouldn't complain, should I?

Toni

I know I shouldn't complain, but I wish Ben weren't so compliant all the time. Of course,

he does let me have my way all the time. What woman doesn't want that? He still looks good after 23 years together. A little gray, but he stays in good shape with his physically demanding job. We're not rich, but he works overtime every week so I could be a stay-at-home mom. He's a good father and has never demanded anything for himself. I guess he is what you would call average in the bedroom, but that's the price I have to pay for the rest.

He was so worried when both our kids were born, afraid that they would have his issues, but both were born perfectly normal. Simon, the oldest, joined the Navy after high school, and Melissa is away at college in her second year.

Thank goodness I went back to nursing school when the kids entered high school. I'd be going crazy if I had nothing to do. And as usual Ben was very supportive of my decision. It took two years and Ben worked his tail off to pay for the whole thing without going into our savings. After school, I worked several years at the local hospital. Then I went to work with a group of cardiologists. I like the slower pace of the private practice and interacting with the doctors and other staff up close and personal.

After working in the new job for a short while, I realized all the other women on the staff were very fit and attractive. and the doctors, most were male, were equally good looking, and took care of themselves. It made me think for the first time in my life how I could benefit from a good diet and exercise. So, I changed the way I ate and really hit the gym. It took five

months, but I lost 33 pounds. I also firmed up all over and the reduced weight made my boobs look huge. I started getting lots of compliments from men for the first time in my life. Even Ben told me I look nice. But he always says that. I guess I discount what he says. I felt really sexy for the first time ever.

Ben

It was early spring on a Friday morning. I was heading to the new deli all the guys in the fire house wanted to try for lunch. It was across town, about 10 minutes from my job. We took turns picking up lunch, and today was my turn.

But picking up sandwiches was not been on my mind this morning. What I was thinking about was my wife's attitude this morning when I left my house. She usually simply says goodbye and sometimes I get a kiss on the cheek. She used to be a bit more affectionate, but for whatever reason, she stopped with most of her affection.

I'm not complaining. She must have a good reason. I've never seen her do anything that wasn't good for her children and I.

This morning seemed different. When I left and I said goodbye, she stopped me at the door, kissed my cheek and gave me a warm hug lasting a few minutes. She then simply said goodbye, Ben. Admittedly, I'm not able to pick up on signs and emotions of people, so I didn't know why Toni was acting that way.

My thoughts were interrupted when I got an emergency notice on my phone that one of our local grade schools had a fire. Our fire house was 10 to 15 minutes away but I was nearby, only a block from the school. I was there in seconds. I only had a portable gas mask with me,

so, I grabbed it out of my trunk and ran to the female administrator outside that I knew. I she told me everyone was out, but they couldn't account for a third-grade teacher and her students. Their classroom was on the second floor of this old three-story building. So, I grabbed my gas mask and I went in. I couldn't tell where the fire was at first, and it had to be in the ceiling somewhere. But smoke was everywhere. I had trouble opening the door to the classroom, because the teacher had been overcome by smoke and was laying right behind the door. The 10 students were huddled together in one corner of the room. I guessed some of them were unconscious, and I grabbed the teacher over my shoulder, and made my way outside. As soon as I dropped her off, I went back for the students. I took two at a time in my arms. I didn't know what kind of shape they were in, I just grabbed them up fast as I could. I knew I didn't have much time because my portable mask was not full when I started and I sensed I was running out of air quickly. I had made four trips with the students, and I was trying to get the last two out, a little boy and girl. As I went down the hall for the last trip, two things happened. One, I ran out of air, and two, the ceiling in the hallway gave out. The ceiling tiles and the floor above, started pouring down on me. Some pretty heavy stuff hit my shoulder and my back but thank God my head didn't get hit. I only had seconds before I knew I would pass out. My last chance was to take one of the students' desks and rammed into the old-style window with it. Glass and wood went flying everywhere and I'm sure I was covered in blood. I did have heavy boots on and I kicked the security screen outside the window. Thank God that they were old and they gave way.

I took the little girl and held her outside the window with my hands under her armpits. There were people below, so I just sort of tossed her to them. Seconds later, I did the same thing with the little boy. That's the last thing I remember, as I must've passed out through the smoke and exhaustion.

I woke up in the hospital the next morning. They told me all the kids would be OK but the teacher was touch and go. Seconds after I tossed the boy, our firetruck got to the school. They put the ladder up to the window where I had tossed the children and came in to get me. When I found out they had risked their lives to save mine, I broke down and cried. No one has ever done anything like that for me before.

After I asked about the kids, the next thing I wanted to know was, where was Toni? No one seem to know where she was. I was so frightened something that happened to her. She could be hurt or anything, I was so sad, something was wrong with her and I wasn't there for her. Hundreds of people from our town sent flowers and cards thanking me for saving those children and the teacher. Some of the kids were in the hospital, and all of the families wanted to visit me to wish me well and to thank me. I didn't want to see anyone. I was so worried and distraught about my wife; I didn't want to talk to a soul.

The next day, Sunday, I told the doctors I wanted to go home. They said there was no way I should be going home. They felt the physical and emotional stress made it dangerous for me to leave the hospital. Everyone knew I hadn't heard from my wife, so they felt I shouldn't be on my own. I didn't care. I needed to get home and be there for my wife. I had to be home when she needed me.

I didn't want to fight with anyone else, so I called a taxi and went home Sunday afternoon. The house seemed deathly quiet. Something was wrong. Something was missing. I walked around the house, but I couldn't understand what had changed. Finally, here is something. And envelope on the kitchen table with my name on it.

Amy.

I couldn't believe when the hospital told me Ben went home Sunday afternoon. I tried to call him Sunday night, but no answer. I know he wanted to be left alone but I needed to check on him. The house was closed up when I got there Monday morning, so I used my key to let myself in. What I found inside rocked me to the core and broke my heart. There on his kitchen floor was my brother, the sweetest person I have ever known, barely breathing and totally incoherent. When I knew he was breathing and had a pulse, I called 911. While I waited for help, I took a letter Ben held in his hands and read it.

Dear Ben,

I'm sorry to have to break the news this way, but there's no easy way to tell you. I fallen in love with someone else. One of the doctors from my office. We've had a physical relationship for several months and I'm gone away with him this weekend to finally spend some quality time together. I will be home Monday night to get more of my things. I've taken most of the money from the checking and savings but I left you the house which is paid for. I plan to move in with my lover as soon as possible. I see now that I probably never really loved you, not like I love Nigel.

He's everything I've ever wanted in a man. Take care and I hope you won't take this too badly. You've always wanted me to be happy.

Toni

I went to the hospital with Ben. I spent the night as I thought I should be there after the doctors had a chance to evaluate my poor brother. I called both his children, told him what he had done at the grade school, read them the letter and finally helped them make plans to come home ASAP. Right away, the doctors told me they weren't sure Ben was going to make it. By mid-day Monday, they put Ben in intensive care in the psychiatric ward. I didn't think they really understood how to deal with Ben. We are a smaller town with a small hospital, so they are not sure what to do when a case like Benz comes in. So, I took what limited answers they could give me and went to Ben's house to wait for his despicable wife.

Toni

I guess I ended up being just stupid and naive. I've been sleeping with Dr. Nigel Winterburn for two months. The sex was great and I thought we truly had a future. I thought I was in love, and found my soulmate when he asked me to spend a long weekend with him. I thought he felt the same way, he even told me he did. The first day and a half was wonderful. We had sex morning, noon and night. On Sunday night, we finally went to a nice restaurant at the resort we went to. After dinner we went to a club and there good old Nigel, the guy I thought was the love of my life, started asking other women to dance.

It was humiliating. When I bitched about his treatment, he told me to try and pick up some guy and sleep in his room at night. I was so angry. I had been played by the asshole; I was just used as a fuck toy for most of the weekend. The next morning, when he returned, I asked him, how he could treat me this way after I had left my marriage and he told me he loved me. He told me I was stupid to leave my husband, because he was never leaving his wife for me. He said he had fucked two other women in our office and they didn't get all upset and clingy. With my weight loss, he felt I went from fat to curvy, so he thought he'd see how I was in bed. For sure he knew a couple of the other doctors wanted to try me out when he was done.

Now I'm going back home to face Ben, but how can I ever get back with him, even if he would want me. He's so weak and simple compared to the other men I work with every day. All the male doctors are so dynamic and real men. Not someone that has to be lead around and no one looked up to.