All Comments on 'She Had No Defense'

Too short, not enough detail and no way to figure it out. It actually sounds like the first few paragraphs of a potentially good story. As is, however, it does nothing. Then again, what the fuck do I know.

HA

Your words were well chosen to reveal her torment. But why leave us without any understanding of how he came to change his mind so completely, perhaps including the reason why the other man apparently lied and what hubby did or will do to him? This could have been a very solid shorter story, but you left us hanging.

and her torment is very real. But the ending seems forced, as you left us with too many blanks to fill. What changed his mind? Why and how was she wrongly accused (if she was wrongly accused) to begin with? It's a fine sketch or fragment, but needs more.

Short, heartfelt, & full of emotion. Nice job!

I love your phrasing! "wrapped in a fog of dull despair," fantastic. You got 5* from me, I wish I could give you more. Now I have to go read your other stuff.

Young Love!! Thanks for sharing.

so whats the problem. TK U MLJ LV NV

Nicely done! and luckily it worked out.

The rest I didn't quite get. You're taking her word for it? And for what, exactly? Obviously it wasn't a fight over the gas bill. 3*

This reached this level, and she did..he thought...but did not really...there was an affair? I don't hate or really like it, just don't have all the pieces, and a partial something..

This would be a good start...But it leaves too many questions unanswered...

It needs to be fleshed out...Tim accuses her but why...Who fed him the

information...We need " INPUT "...We know nothing of your characters...

She was innocent... he found out... he found her and brought her back, begging for forgiveness... everything else is just extra...

Short and Sweet. Miscommunication is a threat to any relationship. Keep them coming.

...this one was certainly different. Most Literotica writers have a pretty good story with usually not much of an ending while your story had a fairly definitive ending but not much in the way of story. Definitely different and really a pity because, with the veiled reference to another man, this story really had potential.

Tim reveals that he is Satan.. Maria says she is actually and eskimo left handed lesbian...

meanwhile back at the rnach.. tonto disguised as door gets his Knob shot off

needed to be fleshed out some but the concept in the story was interresting you should do it again but make it deeper. keep writing, it was a good concept.

I really liked it. Though I would have liked to have seen it fleshed out more. Like him actually have to fight to win her back. But overall it was a good short read.

]

And hey HarryinVA As the World Turns was a great show. No Guiding Light but it was great :)

Nice little flash story.

Good job.

The author has given a good start of the concept to the real story. What there is to read is very good, but left this reader with a lot of questions.

I think the story needs to be fleshed out a lot more and starting with the root of their trouble (her being accused of cheating) would be a good place to start.

I would like to read the rest of the story.

Thanks for the read...

I liked this story. Short but nice. No sluts or wimps. Good stuff.

The style chosen is much different than two others from 5/7 and 5/8/12! They were, to my taste, way too blatant and direct. This story has a LOT of nuance, way too much, to my taste! I ended up with the overall story impression another commenter described. Eventually! However, her innocence may be total BUT it might be only technical (remember Bill Clinton?). Women who have not allowed Mr. Strange to ejaculate sometimes believe they haven't 'cheated!'

Then there are details ... she got a ticket to LAX and her folks knew she was flying there this day. Did she tell them the airline, and arrival time also? Unlikely! How did Hubby?/BF? get there before her? (Military fighter jet pilot?) It would have been much easier and cheaper and less-tiring to intercept her at O'Hare. Her failure to try to contact him is more serious than his failure to try to contact her ... nice coincidence that he figured out her 'innocence' just-in-the-nick-of-time! How???

Why LA? We don't have to know, but it is a odd choice ... is she going to be 'discovered' for the movies? (probably wouldn't be DreamWorks, more like Seymour Butts!)

A good reconcilation story without cheating.

It feels half-written, and leaves a reader with unanswered questions such as the obvious: why does this asshole deserve forgiveness? As far as we can tell, he treated her like shit and accused her of one of the worst things you can do in a marriage with absolutely no proof, on nothing more than the word of some unspecified manipulator. We're not told who this person is, whether it was stupid of him to trust this evil-doer's word, or whether it was someone otherwise trustworthy, or whether the husband's a plain old asshole, projecting his insecurities on his poor, loving wife in the form of jealous rage.

She didn't deserve it, and he didn't do anything to make it up to her. Give us something that makes it so that we can understand why that happened that way, whether he really is just a stupid dick, or was genuinely the victim of some malicious asshole. It's hard to like or hate someone if there's no explanation other than "he told me so". She was punished, but for what?

Who the hell is Tim and what is his relation to this woman?

What exactly happened between them?

Who was the other guy and his envolvement in this situation?

Why would her parents be angry and distrustful with Tim if she cheated?

What is the overall background for this story?

Why is that ring so important to her?

Come on and give us more details than this so we can actually sink our teeth into it. This is nothing more than a teaser piece.

For such a short story we really don't need to know the cercumstances surounding the accusation or the reason why the husband decided that the wife was truely inocent. All the facts needed were presented in the story. I do believe that the discription of the wifes pain and anguish was a little overboard. In a longer story with more information it would have been fine but this one was too short.

The husbands actions are out of sync with the story though. The wife spent several days with her family before flying to LA so that means that unless her own parents kept the fact that hubby called to see if she was there from her or else he called the day she left to fly to LA in which case, how in the world did he manage to get from Chicago to LA BEFORE her. Also for all the searching he did why didn't he just simply call her on her cell phone since she had that with her and was acually hoping he WOULD call her.

A ;ittle more though and this story could have been a very good one

Defense to what? On one hand it sounds like she found herself in a compromising position but what was it? Is Tim her husband or lover? What changed Tim's mind? Why did he wait until she got to LA?

Well-written. Good to see a story with plenty of emotional content that doesn't involve lurid sex scenes or actual cheating. The green-eyed monster defeated for a change!

I thought it was perfect. We really didn't need to know more.

We knew her anguish at his accusations.

We found out he pulled his head out of his ass and knew he should trust her.

Myself, I would want to see her, not rely on a cell-phone to communicate the depth of my regret and my love.

We don't know the details so he could have chartered a plane or simply had a more direct flight, she could have had to make connections that extended her travel time.

miss one another.....catch and make up.....No Reason Why, TK U MLJ LV NV

This story is a perfect view without seeing. It has focus without facts. The love is real in this story captured by a master author. This reader felt the pain and the emotion of the moment. Love has abundance of insecurity and pain as captured in this story. Thank you and well done!

this story reads like a script for a jewelery commercial.

Most of the time they leave the reader hanging and scratching his head saying WTF, but this is so well done that didnt' happen. The love of these two is so well expressed we just know they lived happily ever after.

I really enjoyed this and gave it five stars only because I couldn't give it six.

This entry seemed like an outline for a story; it certainly doesn't stand on it's own. Fill your charachters out and draw out the plot points with a bit more detail.

Looking back I made the first comment on this tale. Go back and look.

Now I know.

This tale means nothing because it actually said nothing. It might have said something eventually but now it says nothing.

I know.

HA

Umm thats an outline for a story. 1*

and its a long season, TK U MLJ LV NV

What's not to understand. Two lovers have a quarrel based on false information. He says, she says, she leaves. His is too proud to chase her. She goes far to get away, he finds her, chases after her, He's sorry. She's sorry. They kiss. They feel better. They go home.

Short and sweet. I liked it. Next time describe her tits and the "not enough" crowd

Will be ok, and write in an 8 orgasm 4 hour make up session in the airport hotel, and everyone will vote 5* except the BTB crowd. They'll want her flogged first.

What do you mean the btb crowd would want her flooged first... You stupid cuck.. The btb crowb wants the bitch gone and stay gone... Cucks don't understand man talk... Just another stir cuck

Shit, I made a lot of mistakes not the ultimate finn-ally one, but many others I am one lucky ass believe me. This makes sense to me..

bill....

lasts well into adulthood's adolescence, TK U MLJ LV NV

4*

Well written! you are economical with your words and the style works for you. I like the happy ending but it would have been as effective without.

Not completely sure what happened, but looks like Tim came to his senses just in time.. Needed background, and detail, but true love wins out . Good story.

Shit time..

Didn't rate this story because the residual emotions it left, did not appear to have any basis in the way the story was presented - if that was the intention then it was brilliant word manipulation, if not, then it was very shallow.

The teacup won, the storm wasn't big enough to bugger everything up.

5 pointy things for the emotions that were stirred and vigorously shaken!

Next time shoot the cat Mr Bond!

Too short, but still a good one.

Should have let the whore go

As is a three star from me. As others stated more info would get 5 stars from me. I mean was there an emotional affair or a very close work relationship or an old boyfriend? I mean someone wanted to separate them so that guy tells hubby stuff was going on. For him to feel she cheated there had to be enough going on already in his mind. How long did they argue or fight for her to finally leave? What convinced him that she was faithful?

In non erotic or romance this would do really well.

I wonder how in only 8 days he found out the truth (or so he thinks he is now right). And she says all that time spent dreaming of this moment? So being wrongly accused her being in that airport was a dream and not a shocking and upsetting moment?

OK for a non erotic story and a start of maybe a series where you take us back to when it began. Like others said who did this? Why would he have doubts? Why would she give up and not try and prove that negative? It was only 8 days and not 8 weeks or 8 months of effort.

They were both very quick to give up.

stupid shit.

Who? Where? When?

What? I mean WTF?

Where there is smoke, there is fire.

Crap

This is the ending of a story. A story you failed to tell...