She Stopped Speaking to Me

She Stopped Speaking To Me, and I didn't know why.

This was my dream 5 nights ago. How many of us have gone through a similar situation? The story ending is open because there is an aftermath, that I hope to write when my dream continues.

I could have detailed more of the sex, or lack of it, but it was not germain to the story.

All rights reserved for this author.

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Jane and I (Greg) married less than 4 years ago. I thought everything was great. We had our four-year degrees, worked in the field of our choices, and were saving money for a house. We wanted a house as a place to start a family.

Jane worked as I did. When she got home early, she prepared our dinner. When I got home early, I prepared our dinner. Jane decided what we would eat. She made a list of what to buy. Either she or I would stop by the supermarket and buy the items according to her list. It all depended on who got home first. Whoever got home later kissed the cheek of the spouse already home.

I thought we had an egalitarian marriage. We argued some, but not very much. At the end of each argument, we made love. Our love sessions were intense. Sometimes she asked to stop. Other times, I did. We both slept in the raw. There was nothing like looking at the nude body of my wife. No matter how tired I was, looking at her nude sleeping body, gave me a painful erection.

The last one up in the morning prompted a "good morning." The last one to bed at night, prompter a "good night," before sleep overtook us.

SUDDENLY

One day Jane stopped speaking to me. She continued doing everything she did prior to that. Our lives together were the same as before she stopped speaking to me. It didn't make sense. I asked her time and time again what the problem was. She smiled each time, but didn't say anything.

There was no hint about why she stopped speaking with me. Jane continued speaking with others. She spoke with her parents on the phone. She spoke with her friends on the phone, but she wouldn't speak to me.

We continued doing everything we did before she stopped speaking with me. Jane communicated to me with handwritten notes, or text messages between our phones. . When it was more convenient she used hand movements to or show me what she wanted. If she wanted me to sit at the table or couch with her, she used hand motions. If she wanted to know what I wanted when she went shopping, she gave me a partial list of items already on it. when things were super unclear, she wrote out a note on paper or sent me a text.

I didn't know why the change. At first, I thought it was a game of sorts. It went on for too long. When she stopped using our morning and evening greetings, I felt something was wrong. When she took the TV remote from me instead of asking me to change channels, I knew something was wrong.

Once she stopped speaking to me, things changed, and some things did not. Along with not speaking, there were other changes.

She stopped initiating sex. She never refused me when I initiated it, but it was like having sex with a corpse. After a few times of having sex with the dead, I stopped trying. I asked her many times, what was wrong. She smiled and didn't say anything. We had been sleeping in the same bedroom on the same mattress. We slept without touching. In frustration, I moved out of the master bedroom. She never said or communicated a word about it.

Since she stopped speaking to me, my life became very convoluted. I guess she was trying to tell me something, but I didn't know what. I asked her many times what was wrong. All she did was smile then continue with her business. Our communications came down to text messages or paper notes. No matter how many times I asked her what was wrong, she never told me.

Jane spoke to others in person or on the phone. She spoke to others, in front of me, but never to me. She never answered me when I asked her a question. When I talked to her, in front of others, she smiled and continued the conversation with the others. We continued socializing with "friends". In front of friends she would speak to others, but not me. It was humiliating and insulting.

Not one person in our social circle volunteered any info on what caused my wife to stop speaking to me. I asked but got no answers. I explained to everyone that I did not know what caused her to stop speaking to me. No one helped me understand what was going on. I know that many of the people we associated with, knew my wife's reason to stop speaking to me. No one ever told me or hinted anything to me.

It was so bad that if we met with others, we drove in separate cars. We came and left at different times. I am not sure how she explained that to everyone. No one ever asked me to explain it. When we went to her parents for dinner, no one mentioned our lack of communication. No one questioned why we arrived and left in different cars at different times. Everyone was friendly, and, unfriendly at the same time

At times, I thought she might be having an affair. Not speaking to me was a prelude to separation and eventual divorce. I mentioned this to her several times over dinner. She responded by shaking her head from side to side, then smiled and continued with what she had been doing. I wasn't getting anywhere and couldn't see where to go.

Four months after Jane stopped speaking with me, I had enough. I told her over dinner that I would not put up with her not speaking to me much longer. I still did not understand why she was doing this. She smiled.

Whatever her reason, when your spouse stops speaking with you, there is no home life. Your marriage is holding on by a thread, and you don't know why. This affected my work. I asked several of my workmates what they thought about my situation. No one had any idea. No one heard of a situation like mine. If a person did something wrong, there would be a lot of yelling and screaming. The wronged person would explain how they were wronged. Since I was the only one speaking, I stopped. We weren't talking. My wife would never know how much this was affecting my work because I stopped talking about it as well.

I was coming home from a miserable day at work to a silent, miserable evening or weekend at home. I looked for excuses to avoid coming home. The pub was an escape. I started coming home later and later. At first, I called home to say I would be late. She was on the line, but never responded. After a while I stopped calling home to say I would be late. When I arrived home, no matter how late, she would look at me, but say nothing. I saw a tear roll down her cheek. Even then, she wouldn't say anything.

It was about 5 months after she stopped speaking to me that I decided to change my life. I thought about divorce, but that was a long and costly process. I was in danger of losing my job because I was depressed and not productive. It was only a matter of time before I would be unemployed. The handwriting was on the wall. I couldn't fix my performance at work if I didn't fix my home life.

My wife continued working. She would leave in the morning without saying anything. She returned in the evening, again without saying anything. I knew she was coming or leaving by the sound of the doors closing. Since my wife was not speaking to me, I had no idea how she was doing at work. Was she as miserable as I was?

I felt boxed in. My wife wasn't my wife anymore. It affected everything I thought, felt or did. The only way to break out of this box was to leave everything behind and start anew. I had a lot of ties with Jane. We depended on each other's income to sustain our current lifestyle. Losing my job would have a great financial impact on us. We had common friends and a social circle that I currently questioned. For a new start, I needed a new job, preferable far away. I began answering job search ads. I contacted companies that could use my skills. I went to job boards and special interest forums. Within a month I had three responses. Taking time off, I met with two of them. Each time it required that I take a day off from work. Both potential job offers were a 4-6 hour drive from where I was.

The offer I received and accepted was a 6-hour drive from my current location. My new employer agreed to a start date in three weeks. They would get for a short term accommodation until I found something permanent.

I began separating our finances. We only had one common credit card. Otherwise, we each had our own and were responsible for them. This was also true of our cars, we had a common insurance carrier. I gave the insurance carrier a cancel date for my car, under my name, and we agreed to a start date for me and my car only. We each had separate health insurance coverage through our respective employers. We each paid our own cell phone bills. We did not have a common landline phone. I stopped putting money into the common account we used to pay our rent and food bills. By the end of the first week we were financially separated. Since we were not communicating, Jane was not aware of it. I changed my post office address to a POB about an hour from where we lived.

Monday morning I met with my immediate supervisor. I explained my home situation. That explained why I went from a dependable and productive team member, to one that would not be missed, when I left. He sympathized with me and asked if he could help. I asked him for a letter of recommendation and gave him my two-week notice. He asked where I was going. I didn't give him that information because I didn't want him to have it and give it to my soon-to-be ex-wife. He accepted my reasoning.

We had a short party at work for all those people I knew from my time there. Then I went home and began preparing myself for the changes I was going to make over the weekend.

Jane walked into the house about the time she normally does. We looked at each other. She didn't say anything. I said "hi" then resumed writing my plans into my workbook. I think she looked sad, but who knows. I didn't look up to see her response to my "hi."

She came into the house, changed her clothes then came down to begin preparing dinner.

"Don't make anything for me. I'll be eating out," I said.

She looked questioningly at me, but said nothing.

I finished what I was doing then went upstairs to my bedroom. I organized everything I cared for and was going to take with me so that I could quickly pack and take them out to the car. Coming back down I looked at Jane and said, "I'm going out. Not sure when I'll get back." then I walked out the door.

After eating at a local watering hole and drinking something to give me a buzz, I went home. It was late and Jane was still up watching TV. She said nothing as I briefly looked at her then headed to MY bedroom.

I woke up early Saturday morning and prepared a small breakfast and coffee for myself. Jane came downstairs and looked at me eating and drinking coffee. She didn't say anything. When she first stopped speaking to me, we would still eat and have coffee together. I would prepare something for her, or she would prepare something for me, even though she never spoke. Now, we simply didn't bother with each other. We shared the home and almost nothing else. I could tell, or maybe it was my imagination, that she was depressed. Our situation was her doing. She was stubborn, she started it and was continuing it.

I assumed and was correct that she had things to do outside the house. While she was gone I loaded everything that was important to me, into my car. When my wife got home that evening she either didn't notice that I had removed many things, or didn't care.

Sunday morning, while she was at church, I finished packing and left. I didn't leave her a note or any other sign that I was not coming back. We hadn't spoken for such a long time that I didn't feel the need to let her know about anything I was doing. I began my drive and wasn't sure if my wife would notice or care that I wasn't home when she got back from church. It was a 6-hour drive to my new location.

I didn't hear from Jane until early 6 PM Sunday evening. She texted me asking when I would be home. I did not answer. About 10 PM that evening I got another text asked when I would be home. I did not answer.

About 2am Monday morning I got another text asking if something was wrong. I waited till six that morning to answer, "I have started another life!"

"What does that mean?" she texted again.

"You started something new. Now I have started something new, the rest of my life" I responded.

"I don't understand?" she texted.

"You don't understand? I never understood! You stopped speaking to me. You never explained why. You humiliated and insulted me in front of everyone. That you now don't understand is very interesting. You made my home life miserable. That affected my work. I was about to become unemployed because of that. I became proactive. I start my new job today. This is the most we have communicated in the last 5 months. I think we have said everything there is to say to each other that can be said," I texted.

"What are you talking about?" she texted.

"There is nothing more to be said between us. You said it all during our last 5 months together. Now I agree with you. There is nothing between us, this is no marriage. Have a good life," I texted her.

"What are you talking about? Are you leaving me?" she texted.

"I've left! Since you have nothing to speak about with me, there is nothing for us to say to each other. I still don't know why you stopped speaking to me. I don't know why you stopped caring about me or us. We have grown apart, very far apart, and it hasn't bothered you enough to speak with me. This phone number will be disconnected within 3 days. I am only keeping working until I get my new life set up." I texted back.

My phone started ringing. I let it go to voicemail. "Please, we should talk," was on the voicemail.

I texted back, "yeah, we should have talked over the past 5 months. The time for talking is past. I told you I wouldn't take your silent treatment much longer. You only smiled and kept quiet, even when we socialized. I guess they knew why you were silent with me, but I didn't. Now it doesn't matter."

I got another voice mail, "please I can explain. . . " I didn't respond.

Over the next 3 days I got many texts and phone calls. I never listened or read any of them.

On the fourth day the phone number was disconnected. If she called or texted she would get a message that the service was discontinued.

My new life was different from what I expected. I met and worked with new people. They didn't know anything about me, but what I told them. There was no cloud of something they knew that I didn't. Maybe that was what drove me to leave my old life behind. Too many people knew why my wife didn't speak to me, and kept it a secret from me.

After two months at my new location, I didn't feel as those I was missing much of my old life. I had gone on a few dates and been intimate with two women. I was never one to fuck and run. I enjoyed the sex and appreciated the company. I valued relationships that were more than just sex. Don't misunderstand, sex is a very important part of a committed relationship. It wasn't there for the last 5-months with my wife.

In meaningful relationships you have to open up. I told my story of woe to the two women I was seeing. They convinced me that I needed closure, since I was technically still married. After I agreed with their arguments, I needed to end my relationship with my soon-to-be ex-wife.

I found a divorce attorney at my old location who agreed to represent me. I told him that I didn't want to file for the divorce but that I would need him when I was certain that my wife would file. I gave him a retainer and told him that I wanted no direct contact from my wife.

Using an old email account I had, I emailed my wife the contact info for the lawyer I retained. I was immediately inundated with emails from her stating that we needed to talk. I responded by saying that I was not reading her messages. The time we had to talk, was before I left. Now, we had nothing to talk about except the divorce. The only thing left of our relationship was to end it with a divorce. The emails kept coming until I blocked them.

Three month later my lawyer contacted me. He told me that my wife asked that I talk to her parents before she would consider any action. I told him I would do that, if she was not present when I talked to them. Jane and her parents agreed.

I called her parents. They put me on Speakerphone so that both of them could participate in the conversation at the same. I emphasized that if she was there, I would disconnect immediately. They agreed that she was not there.

"So what do you want to talk about?" I asked.

"Well," her mother said. "We found out that there was serious trouble between the two of you 10 days after you left."

"Really," I said. "Everyone else knew there was a problem, especially since she stopped speaking to me, in front of them. If you'll remember, she didn't speak to me, even at your house. Didn't you ask her why?"

"We thought you guys were having a typical argument. Most times one side stops speaking to the other for a while."

"Well, now that you know better. It was more than that, what do you want to talk about?"

"Have you ever cheated on her?"

"What?" I asked.

"Have you ever cheated on her?" they repeated.

"Nope. Never. Why are you asking. Has anyone said something?"

"Your Jane is under the impression that you cheated on her."

"She never said a thing about it. Is that why she stopped speaking to me?"

"We think she was waiting for you to confess, or say something about it."

"Well, since I never cheated on her, and never thought that she thought I did, there was nothing to confess, or explain. Does she still think I cheated on her?"

"She is not sure."

"All this time she hasn't spoken to me. Not once did she ask or hint that she thought I did something wrong. Now she still thinks I cheated on her? What a waste. I wonder what her source of information is? So where does that leave us?"

"She wants to talk to you about it. If you can convince her that you did not cheat, she'll take you back."

"What make anyone think that I want her to take me back? I had more than 5 months of a loveless marriage. If anyone should be asking questions, it should be me. If she was so willing to go 5 months without sex, was she getting it someplace else?"

"We sort of asked the same question. She said absolutely not."

"Can I believe that? Since I don't know where she got the idea that I cheated on her in the first place, there is no way I can defend myself. Besides, I know she has no proof because I never cheated. Maybe she or someone else saw me in the company of another woman. There is nothing wrong with that in a typical work environment where men and women work together."

"At this stage of our relationship, I think she should accept that we will not be together. I don't care if she thinks I cheated on her. I don't care if that was her reason to stop speaking to me. Now, I am happy living without her. She made the last 5 months of our relationship pretty awful. I doubt that she wasn't having sex with someone, since she wasn't having it with me."

"We thought the same thing and asked her about it. She has assured us that she has not cheated."

"Well, maybe not physically, but what about emotional. She never told me directly, but I heard from others that she spends a lot of time talking with HARRY. All I know about him is that he is a coworker. Maybe he is the person that let her think I was cheating. If so, he'll be in her bed before the ink is dry on our divorce."

"She doesn't want a divorce."

"She didn't want to speak with me. Now she doesn't want a divorce? And yet, she still thinks that I may have cheated on her. That is not the kind of woman I want to be married to. I need a woman who trusts me and if anything questionable come up, talks to me. That is not your daughter. If HARRY is the person that put all those suspicions in her mind, you'll know for sure once the divorce is finalized. He'll be the first one in her bed. There are some people that get off ruining marriages."