by Rckhrd
needs wditing piss poor writing barely any background or character development and no end all add up to a waste of our time his time and the sites space. this needs to be either rewritten and finished or deleted but not left this way.
typical story for this site badly needs a good editing and is unfinished as per usual. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND EITHER FINISH WHAT YOU START OR DON'T START AT ALL.
The past tense of lie, as in, to lie down, is lay, not lied. We lay down or we just lay there for a while. Got it?