All Comments on 'Shen's Sister'

you'll need to rethink some of this. it's not, "her shirt is collar."

Her shirts' collar, perhaps, but shirt collar works even better.

"Oulling" off her camisole? New sexy move?

"Katsa immediatelypushed Shen out of the room and locked the door. Lillian's heartrate went up fast. As she came over to sit by her on the bed, Katsa's dark eyes drilled into mine with hidden intent. Lillian's heart thudded violently against her rib cage." How did you get into the story?

Somewhat of a slow story, lacking in many ways.