All Comments on 'Shetland Pony Club'

He should have got "more" even with her and Donnie!

It was a decent story, apart from one major flaw... escorting is a young woman's game and Kirsty was 44. Men don't pay good money to fuck an old whore. Marie and the girls in their thirties would've been worried about getting replaced by fresh-faced 18 year olds, not some Scottish grandma!

If Kirsty was 24, then this just might have been more believable, but her deciding to become a hooker in her forties is ludicrous. She'll be menopausal in a couple of years! Unless she was exceptionally beautiful, the pimp wouldn't be interested in her either.

Well done. Write another please. Don't hurt the goats, tho! :) Randi.

It's always nice to see a new story from either Fredo or Amy. To see one from each on the same day is great.

I enjoyed this story, but the reactions of the protagonist weren't reasonable, logical or realistic. He's portrayed as a simpleton who would accept pretty much anything.

Having a main character who's an idiot without any semblance of initiative or a spine doesn't doom a story, but it doesn't help either.

He waited far too long for the divorce and why even offer her another chance?

Kristy a 44 year old prostitute, loses her way from a loving husband to chase a giant cock and call that addiction. Throws away her life with a career paying job to become a whore at 44. I could see if she was addicted to drugs.but a big cock that had to hurt .and Kenny let’s her go off and even tries to let her come back before throwing in the towel. The revenge was meek. Her life forward is over. When does she realize this is going nowhere. What a waste and it could happen but really unlikely.

Not everyone will agree but his response was not untypical. Best ending for him though.

you cannot 'love a person' and do what she did to him.

but she admitted towards addiction, and addicts aren't capable of things like love, empathy, and respect. heck, she didn't even love herself. so, with nothing to gain nor lose, she was finally honest.

it was a nice touch that her ex destroys her reputation, and she doesn't even know it was him. she can't even be upset if she finds out.and her addict status wont excuse her. she had loads and loads, maybe 10s of thousands of moments to change course, but didn't.

all in all, a standard cheating spouse tale. but you can't beat a classic. good story.

...but I was disappointed at the civility of the confrontation and the ending.

But it was a pity that the MC was deliberately made to look very dumb. That's what happens when the reader is able to judge what's going on long before he does. His 'I'm not stupid' remark to his wife must have seemed pretty amusing to her because 'stupid' is exactly what he was. How on earth did he think that the marriage could be saved?

btw: don't use 'discrete' when you mean 'discreet', they have two different meanings.

@Powersworder. It's okay to be ignorant but unwise to display it in a forum like this. Readers can check the (total in)accuracy of your comment with a few keystrokes.

he should have got more revenge on her and donnie both burn the pair of them

One of the great understated lines in the story: "The last few months must have been tough on you and you've been very patient with me." He was beyond patient, but I get it. You don't walk away from a marriage easily. You have to redefine yourself and that takes time.

Good story, although I would not follow his example.

Like a real man.

I learned something from this story. I always appreciate that.

However her age and his politeness worked against the reality of the plot. Even so it deserves a better score than what is currently showing. 4*

There was too much "filler" in this sedate tale. Maybe 3 pages should have been enough. And there was no real emotion. She turns into a slut, he finds out, drags his feet and they eventually get divorced. At least he got a little revenge. But I would have preferred to have him get off his ass and open a big old can of "whoop ass" on her and Donnie. Donnie was stupid enough to send him a video. EVERYONE should have seen the video with some added information about who and what they were looking at. Including all her family, friends and the local police. Revenge and subtle are words that don't go together well. This was just too little, too late.

2 stars

5*

Have any of them ever loved anyone but themselves? Good story.

Nice, well-written story. Kept me motivated in reading it until the end. Of course there are no winners in this cheating story. She turned out to be a very unlikeable person setting up her husband into cheating to feel free to cheat herself on him later. From then on, she was 'tumbling down the rabbit hole' of depravity and excesses. He showed class and self restraint in the way he dealt with her treachery. For Donnie she was a price to take away from the husband, humiliating him, and turning the wife into another mare for his escorts' stables. For the husband, she became dead weight to get rid of. He took his revenge in ways that are subtle but nevertheless still painful, by ruining her future as an older "escort", and at the same time any future chances as a financial professional. On time, she will realize she had changed sadly 'gold' for 'plastic' but it would be too late then for a make over in life. In real life, old whores seldom end as winners, especially with Syphilis, Herpes and AIDS on the rise. It deserves 5*. Thanks for the story.

Thanks for pointing out my typo. I do know the difference, but I don't want an editor, so sometimes I slip up. It's good to know someone is watching over me.

they should make sure they define love the same way. Four stars for a well-written story.

For anyone remotely interested the BBC produced a series just called "Shetland" that is a murder mystery genre on the Shetland Islands.

Episode 2 of Series 1 (2013) features the Up Helly Aa festival. No orgies were shown, however.

The scenery otherwise is very fascinating.

I think I watched the first season on Netflix.

Too long, too patient, too "oh, so civilized."

Man, this was well-written and engaging. The ending was a little preordained and foreshadowed, but still fun to see what realistic revenge can mean. I mean, not every cheater can be blown up, set on fire, put in jail or shot from five miles away. She didn't care about their marriage, and she seemed to wear whoredom so well, so why should he bother to go overboard?

Good one, sir!

When he let "Mr Hyde, the "nasty bastard" get out why didn't he took care of Donnie also? That's the weak point...3*

I have enjoyed most of your work, but just don't care for this one at all. Not your fault, but I'm just over the weak men who allow cheating wives and their lovers to get away without retribution.I'll wait for the next one.

Inaccurate? Hardly.

The vast majority of escorts retire long before they hit their 40's. In the internet age, a tight 18-year-old is only a couple of clicks and a telephone call away... and it's impossible to compete with the constant stream of new girls as an escort gets older.

In the UK, thousands of beautiful young Eastern European girls (Polish, Czech, Romanian) have rushed to the country to take advantage of wealthy westerners. After a few years spent escorting, those girls can earn enough money to buy a four-bedroom house outright in their home country. The ageing British escorts hate that they've got so much competition from younger women who are undercutting them and taking all their clients.

A quick google search confirmed exactly what I was saying. Men pay the most for escorts aged 18-25. After that, the price they're willing to pay drops as the women get older.

Basically an escort in her 40's earns half that of one two decades younger. So why would a pimp like Donnie be interested in a woman long-past her prime? In reality, recruiting Kirsty would be far more hassle than it was worth. Forget the fact that she's far too old to make good money, she's also married and has a job, severely restricting her availability. He could recruit some unemployed fresh-faced 20-something, who was ready to fuck 24/7 and earn 10x as much as he was making from Kirsty.

It's a problem I've seen in a lot of loving wives stories, where the wife hits 40, goes through a mid-life crisis and becomes a "high-class escort". Sorry, they're 15 years too late for that.

Written, of course, by annony. Does this idiot realize how stupid it is?

Another 5* Star story from Fredoberto.

So pony cock set out to recruit Kirsty to his stable of whores, and got away 'scot free'. ?

Enjoyed the travelogues. I guess the Canarys don’t have to be as much fun as Shetland. I AM trying to figure out how likely it is that a gigolo and a whore would go on vacation with the ‘straight’er Scots.

Fredoberto ... look up ‘discreet’ and ‘discrete.’ Two words, not an optional way to spell the same word! Prefer the former in most LIT cases.

Thanks for spotting the typo. I do know the difference, but I don't want an editor.

When I was younger, I probably would have had a different reaction to this story. But now I gave it five stars. I liked it. I thought it was well-paced, and I was only distracted by the use of "discrete" rather than the correct word "discreet". At my age, I would accept my wife bringing in extra income the way Kirsty did. As long as condoms were used and proper checks for STDs done, I would let her enjoy herself. I suspect the "burn the bitch" crowd will not like my comment, but I don't care. I think any arrangement between a married couple is O.K. If they choose to let the wife prostitute herself, that is their business. I won't judge them for what they agree on. To me, it may not be conventional or traditional, but how they choose to live their lives is up to them and not me or anyone else.

This is how civilized men and women behave when being treacherous. This story will disappoint the wankers and boilerplate lovers but in my estimation this is one of the best stories to appear in months. The usual suspects demand blood and thunder but a man in love with his wife won't immediately turn vicious against her when infidelity is discovered. This MC eventually runs out of forbearance and his revenge is sublime and permanent. Well constructed, well told, and well edited. An all around a first class job. 5 stars.

Well done,well written story. Sure you like your protagonists unsuspecting and clueless but other than that, a very enjoyable story. It’s good to avoid cliches, in your stories, the clueless protagonist is your cliche.

Enjoyed it

Chilleywilley

...from the beginning to the end. It was not too long, never got boring.

Thanks for sharing, 5*.

is not about cheating wife, it's about a loser husband. For some reason the writer doesn't like his main charakter one bit.

2starrs

I enjoyed the story and think it was very interesting, the career change for Kirsty.

a loving husband, an absolutely insidious plot of sex and misdirection, add in the element of surprise and you have a wonderful story. I loved Kenny's revenge, his plotting abilities and of course his final reward (the picture in the paper) of Lucy being outted. Great story! Please keep writing!!

May sound lame , but he should have refused blow job after hearing the my wife is your wife philosophy. And when he found out his wife was at the forefront of the ruse, hasta la Vista , baby ! Still, he hung on through more lies, and veiled cheating. You could argue that he wasn't sure, but seriously ! A come to Jesus moment should have occurred on the first page.

I've read a number of Fredoberto's stories and I simply can't get into his style. The attitude his put-upon husbands adopt is far too bloodless for my tastes. I'm not the sort who gets a charge when husbands run in with bats aiming for balls and kneecaps but I at least want to see some real emotion. Dare I suggest maybe even a confrontation that has more passion than sharing a pot of tea? I might be able to get past the men in these stories doing nothing more than sitting back and waiting if they got their financials in order and planned some kind of non-violent retribution for their wives, or at least an angry come-to-Jesus meeting, but that pretty much never happens. Inevitably, the main character will blow through his angry disbelief in half a paragraph, settle into sad emptiness, and be coldly resigned by that same afternoon. Christ, weren't they supposed to be in love with these women who they just discovered had stabbed them in the back? The final meeting with the wife in this story, for example, was so tepid I almost fell asleep. His wife had turned into a fucking whore because she was entranced by some guy with a cock the size of a horse's who convinced her that gang bangs were awesome! Doesn't that inspire at least a confrontation slightly more heated than a civil chat over dinner?

The second problem I have is his lack of satisfying endings, especially in his earlier stories. He's gotten better at tying things up somewhat but his first couple just ended shortly after the declaration of intent to divorce. I'm happy about the improvement because his first couple of stories ended so abruptly I was literally frustrated. "Something Special for Christmas," for example, broke the formula of the bloodless main character but sadly had the same sort of abrupt, unsatisfying ending because the confrontation with the wife and what happened after she opened his gift was never described.

The real shame of it is I quite enjoy Fredoberto's story set ups. I think he creates interesting, very realistic characters with unique situations rather than the same characters with different names for every story. That's fairly rare here on Literotica. While he's a bit overly descriptive in a way that tempts me to skim occasionally, his settings are inevitably interesting and different from his last story. Most intriguing tends to be the scenarios he dreams up for the wives' betrayal and how the husbands discover them. Sadly, this makes it just that much more disappointing when, rather than an expression of hurt and fury evolving into an intriguing confrontation with the wife and / or lover, the husband does nothing for weeks but gather information he inevitably does very little with, then has a civil chat with his wife wherein he informs her that her behavior simply won't do! Yawn.

This comment isn't meant to disparage the author at all, and I hope it's not taken that way. I think Fredoberto is a very talented writer who has some very imaginative ideas. His style of writing is just not for me. You may be thinking, "Who gives a shit what you think? Go read something else," but the simple matter is it's important for an author to know what his readers feel about his writing, regardless of whether or not he decides to alter his style based on feedback. Out of the handful of stories I read, I enjoyed "The Idiot" and "The Devil's in the Details" the most as I felt they were the most satisfying, though I still hope there'll be a third part to "The Devil's in the Details" someday so we can see how Nick and his girls turned out. (Honestly, I liked all three of them so I was hoping for the threeway to continue.)

At any rate, I wish Fredoberto well and encourage him to continue writing. It takes a lot of courage to put your creations out for public consumption. This will likely be the last of his stories I personally read, however.

After being oblivious for so long then not going after the guy who started it all. Bring him down and the universe is balanced

good setup,very very weak ending.

Even in your later work "Beauty and the Beast," while a bit macabre, the protagonist still was hauntingly passive aggressive.

But I, a bit obsessive so I hope I can wade thru the rest of your stories.

She was nothing but a pathetic old whore. Move on with your life, Kenny. Unlikable characters. Three ⭐️ stars.

A few days later a picture of Donnie as the pimp who seduced married women with his big tool was posted in the newspaper. The article further described that further investigations schow he so caused a few divorces around the area and even from away.

A few days later a picture of Donnie is posted again. This time the article describes that he had been mugged by a unknown number of masked persons and that he was hurt especially in his lower region. Well-informed circles say that he will never be able to seduce a woman with his tool.

Sorry for writing as Anonymous. I'm trying to activate my account since July 2019, but didn't get support from LIT, Manu or Laurel. If you want to help me create a Thread in the Tech-Support-Forum, contact me: infosauger@gmx.at

Of all of your submissions, I've found only one with a complete story. This "Pony" is a tired old horse - but I won't beat a dead one! Your outlines must show you that the story is incomplete - that is if you even use an outline.....

Early on you struggle to put some sort of lame ass responsibility/morality on the husband-the bill clinton argument- as if he is morally culpable for being manipulated and lied to. inconsistent logic and blaming the victim. pure bullshit all round

Really bad. sorry

Seriously, I was told that if wee not equipped as they, there wouldn't be a bounty on their heads. There is the sign,,!

Ummm... yes. That’s exactly what he was.

Sure took him a long time to figure out that she wasn't faithful to him, guess he is not too bright. 2 stars

The attempts to portray our hero as wise and measured in response are utterly ineffective. He falls asleep, literally, early and often. Other than for suffering, he's hard to like or even tolerate.

I recognize this is a minority view, but I'd like to think I am measured in the manner of our protagonist. In theory, the idea of burning a long term partner is appealing, but I expect most of us would flinch from it. But once the Rubicon is crossed, a quiet, thorough revenge could be deeply satisfying, I expect.

Where are the scots who played bag pipes going into battle, I can’t believe that they are all turned into Nancy boys😢

I have to wonder: Wasn't she past her 'use by' date? Sure I understand she kept herself in good shape but a 44 year old is not exactly a 24 year old. My understanding is that age is pretty important factor in the prostitution business. Just wondering. BTW I actually admired his restraint. Offering to reboot the marriage was awfully decent of him.

Thanks for sharing. fregen

I think he is either impossibly patient to wait for so long to retaliate.

Or just a gutless spineless wimp.

Big no on this one.

A subtle and intelligent BTB for a welcome change.

LA

Slow fuse BTB.

Too dumb for too long, to the point of being unrealistic. 4*

Seriously took way to long to dump her cheating ass.

He was to stupidly pathetic treated like something stupid that didn't have any worth

Was it a btb though?

She did it all to herself. Donnie needed some payback, definitely. It was very disappointing that he had zero consequence. The whole final confrontation was so mellow and dull, really. She deserved to be humiliated.

The one amusing part was "Donny and Marie". Would anyone outside the US get that?

Where i come from,the slut wife Marie would of had her looks taken away from her courtesy of a glass full of acid or a razor blade. Donnie would of had the same thing applied to his junk,plus a broken spine.

I would not have waited so long. However, if it was me in that final meeting I would have ordered a half of larger or whatever. I would have thrown it in her face in front of everyone in the dining room/bar and I would have shouted at her "This what you get for becoming a prostitute, my soon to be ex-wife the prostitute. Apologies everyone she has just told me she has left me to be a prostitute. Her name is Marie so if you see her don't go near her. Good day to you all." And walked out.

Original storyline. Entertaining. Sad. Thanks for the tale.

Ed

Donnie goes unscathed? Why?

Why in the world did he wait so long? When they whet to the Shetlands he should have know and left.

Your stories start off well, but the lack of any BTB action is just horrible. I can't see how anyone would get away scot free from fucking around like that. In this instance, im sure it wouldn't have been too hard to incapacitate Donnie behind a sand dune and lop a few inches off his Viking club without any witnesses.

Donny still needs harsh payback for Kirsty’s demise. Although it’s too late for her, Kirsty will soon realize her new lifestyle won’t

bring her happiness or fulfillment…just loneliness. Stupid bitch! Four stars ⭐️ for this one.

Good story, I like the detail you put into every story. Seems though husband was way too accommodating, like any reasonable excuse he would take her back. Thank you for your writing, and kudos to you!

Good story, good writing. 5 stars from Xluckylee

Tell me on what planet any husband would react as this husband? I know British men come off as push overs but not even the most submissive of them would act like this. Too ridicules to be enjoyable, at least for me anyway⭐️

A good build up but when you pressed the detonator nothing happened

MC gets hurt, everyone else gets fucked.

It was a great story until you got to the end. There were no real consequences for Kirsty.

My alternate ending would have changed at the meal. Instead of signaling the waiter for the bill, he signals the undercover police. As she's arrested and handcuffed, he hands over the freshly recorded admission to prostitution along with who her pimp is.

The prostitution ring is brought down Donnie is convicted of pimping along with numerous other offenses. He's quickly killed in prison after shooting his mouth off about his huge dick.

Kirsty is convicted of prostitution and the stain on her record prevents her from ever holding a job that pays more than minimum wage. She has no choice but to continue escort work. As she ages, she starts to lose her appeal and earning decrease while the acts she performs escalate in depravity, something she's not terribly upset with.

She dates a few men and even managed to get married once, but all of her relationships end once her escort work is discovered. One infuriated partner was particularly viscous and beat the beauty out of her before kicking her out of his house.

The payout she received from her former employer is eventually used up supplementing her diminished income. She tries to sort herself out but the only work she can find is walking the streets at night and working at Poundland during the day.

Eventually she proves herself and now manages that Poundland store, living a frugal life, pained by the thoughts of the mistakes she made to get to this point in her life.

She's still looking for a new pony.

Kenny, satisfied with Donnie and Kirsty's arrests, buries himself in his work. With the help of counselling he has started healing and is ready to start dating again.

Donnie got off pretty light, as in no consequences at all. Plus he is still screwing Kirsty. Why didn't Donnie get gaol for being a pimp and operator of a prostitution ring? Kenny really got screwed over by the whole evil bunch. From the start in the Canaries when Kirsty, the three Aberdeen women and Donnie conspired against Kenny. Actually seven people were in on Donnie and Kirsty's plot for them to have sex. Kirsty practically begged Kenny to accept that blow job because she knew he would feel obligated to accept her having sex...if he found out. Kirsty blackmailed Kenny basically. They all lied to him by omission. They formed a conspiracy against him. Kirsty continued to cheat on Kenny within a couple weeks having her affair with Donnie in Aberdeen. She piled on lies, she created falsehoods, she broke vows, she destroyed trust, she deserved to be destroyed by Kenny.

Of all the truly evil, evil bitches, that have shamed the pages of LW. Kirsty is probably the #1 Bitch. Based on what she did, how she did it, her lack of remorse, her lack of empathy for Kenny, the 'art imitating life' realism of the entire sordid cesspool of her actions. Her actions in the Canaries, in Aberdeen, in Shetland, specifically in the boathouse. She oozes evil.

This was a great cautionary tale about what can happen once a person steps onto the slippery slope to whorifcation. Some folks just seem destined for the dark side.

At least now she can fornicate to her heart’s content. She may have to eventually shim up her bored out vagina by inserting a ham and extracting the bone. Call it an occupational hazard.

Top marks for this story, Señor. You did not disappoint.